Originally Posted by
Gyps
Sup guys, it's me, Gyps.
So I'm just sittin around one Friday night, flippin through a Dark Tower comic on the toilet, flexin my muscles in the miror and remember O SHIT high-school reunion tomorrow I gotta go get a haircut. The woman is all hollerin and yellin that I got to leave the house on a Friday and miss NEW DAWN. Just shove my hand in her face and slam her head against the wall as I strut all gangstuh out of the house.
Get outside a disgustin bums all like, "U GAWWT 10 CENTSss mussster?" Drool all fallin from his mouth, drunk as usual... I lower my aviators so he knows how serious I am, "Shit bruh, I was about to ask YOU for 10 cents. Get outta my sight, Tiffany"... He all falls down on the ground and crawls away when he sees my biceps bulging from my v-neck tshirt. So I continue walkin up the block in step with the beat to the Tupac song playin in my head radio.
Get to the barber shop and the sally inside is all like, "CANNN I HELLLPPP you cutie?" Considering he's a man, I don't p lay that shit.. I slam two fingers into his A-cups and send him sprawlin backwards. He trips over an old broad sittin in a chair and starts cryin and shit... Walk over to him, slowly take the aviators off my face so he knows I'm serious, u know? "Look here Miss Jackson... I want a haircut like this cuz I'm going to a reunion." I take out the crumbled Dark Tower comic from my back pocket and show the guy Roland. So I get all ROland'd up and start walkin out and he's like "WAAAIIIIITTTT you HAVE to payyy for it!!!" I all just turn around, lift my massive arm and point at him with the finger... I'm all screamin like, "ALL THINGS SERVE THE FUCKING BEAM" He runs and locks himself in the managers closet uknow...
I go home and get in my best suit. I make sure its tight so my pects intimidate all the pussy-ass bitches that get in my way u know. Walk out the door, get on my Schawn unicycle and slowly start pedaling towards the high-school... Sunlight followin me everywhere I go even in the shadows of the buildings. Guess I'll tell u what happened when I got there later... Cuz this is all true u know?