That was false advertising!
Shot the sheriff.
But not the deputy; I just stabbed him.
Covers their slip'n'slide with industrial strength adhesive.
Have you heard of people with short fuses? Well, I have no fuse at all, and there's a thousand could testify to it if I hadn't stilled their tongues for good.
You can't ignore my girth.Originally Posted by LadyHitchhiker
For long lasting (although somewhat sticky) fun!
Punched Tyson in the face.
Then he punched through my face.
Always draws a Hitler mustache on people who fall asleep on flights to Germany.
Have you heard of people with short fuses? Well, I have no fuse at all, and there's a thousand could testify to it if I hadn't stilled their tongues for good.
You can't ignore my girth.Originally Posted by LadyHitchhiker
They really loved the little Asian man I got last time.
Enjoys a nice, rousing night of karaoke - in the middle of a funeral.
"Help me out here
All my words are falling short
And there's so much I want to say"
It doesn't go over well - especially when I sing "I love the dead" by Alice Cooper.
Can cross their eyelids.
Have you heard of people with short fuses? Well, I have no fuse at all, and there's a thousand could testify to it if I hadn't stilled their tongues for good.
You can't ignore my girth.Originally Posted by LadyHitchhiker
But it destroys nintey brain cells everytime I do it.
Currently hunts platypus for living.
"Help me out here
All my words are falling short
And there's so much I want to say"
All I ever find is ducks and beavers, though.
Thought "Puss in boots" referred to boots full of ooze from wounds.
Have you heard of people with short fuses? Well, I have no fuse at all, and there's a thousand could testify to it if I hadn't stilled their tongues for good.
You can't ignore my girth.Originally Posted by LadyHitchhiker
Seriously? Who wants to read a story about a cat anyway?
Still quotes Urkel from Family Matters and thinks it is cool.
There's one hole in every revolution, large or small. And it's one word long.. people. No matter how big the idea they all stand under, people are small and weak and cheap and frightened. It's people that kill every revolution.
Did I do that?
Makes very sexually suggestive remarks in every sentence without realizing it.
Have you heard of people with short fuses? Well, I have no fuse at all, and there's a thousand could testify to it if I hadn't stilled their tongues for good.
You can't ignore my girth.Originally Posted by LadyHitchhiker
Your really driving the point home.
Still rewards people with gold star stickers.
"Help me out here
All my words are falling short
And there's so much I want to say"
I'm sure it means much more to them than a purple hearrt.
Was afraid of lucky charms after seeing the movie "Leprechaun"
Have you heard of people with short fuses? Well, I have no fuse at all, and there's a thousand could testify to it if I hadn't stilled their tongues for good.
You can't ignore my girth.Originally Posted by LadyHitchhiker
I figured if I ate his cereal, he'd have to make more movies to pay for more cereal. I wouldn't dare torture the world in that way.
Takes daily plane rides in hopes they will be marooned on the Amazon Island.
"Help me out here
All my words are falling short
And there's so much I want to say"
leaving, on a jet plane ..
-
Likes to put their hands and feet in the freezer.
"You can lead a whore to culture but you can't make her think." - Duma Key
zoneseek@thedarktower.com
I can never quite get the door closed, though.
Shouts "Behold, the power of cheese!" and throws scalding fondu cheese in complete strangers' faces.
Have you heard of people with short fuses? Well, I have no fuse at all, and there's a thousand could testify to it if I hadn't stilled their tongues for good.
You can't ignore my girth.Originally Posted by LadyHitchhiker
I find the scalded and blistered skin adds a nice zest to the cheese itself.
-
Loves having itchy eyeballs.
"You can lead a whore to culture but you can't make her think." - Duma Key
zoneseek@thedarktower.com
Its a feeling you just can't imagine until you've experienced it.
Always thought that the term "behind bars" was referring to candy bars, so they comitted crime to get behind bars.
Have you heard of people with short fuses? Well, I have no fuse at all, and there's a thousand could testify to it if I hadn't stilled their tongues for good.
You can't ignore my girth.Originally Posted by LadyHitchhiker
And then _I_ was the candy
-
Preferrs supositories.
"You can lead a whore to culture but you can't make her think." - Duma Key
zoneseek@thedarktower.com
It can get pretty messy when I try to get 2 spoonfuls of Pepto Bismo in.
Won't eat sponge cake unless they're sure it works well as a sponge.
Have you heard of people with short fuses? Well, I have no fuse at all, and there's a thousand could testify to it if I hadn't stilled their tongues for good.
You can't ignore my girth.Originally Posted by LadyHitchhiker
Otherwise, what's the point?
Can't sleep at night with Mr. Teddy
He makes me feel dirty.
In addition to their nightlight, owns a "daydark".
Have you heard of people with short fuses? Well, I have no fuse at all, and there's a thousand could testify to it if I hadn't stilled their tongues for good.
You can't ignore my girth.Originally Posted by LadyHitchhiker
It is a large, flat board I use to blot out the sun.
Can sleep only if they have their bunny suit on.
"Help me out here
All my words are falling short
And there's so much I want to say"
Its warm and snuggly.
Keeps a huge cactus stuffed in their pants at all times.
Have you heard of people with short fuses? Well, I have no fuse at all, and there's a thousand could testify to it if I hadn't stilled their tongues for good.
You can't ignore my girth.Originally Posted by LadyHitchhiker
Only so I can pull the joke. "Prepare for a huge prick!"
Can only write with their feet.
"Help me out here
All my words are falling short
And there's so much I want to say"
I guess that's what happens when I accidentally nail both hands to my face.
Egged a chicken.
Have you heard of people with short fuses? Well, I have no fuse at all, and there's a thousand could testify to it if I hadn't stilled their tongues for good.
You can't ignore my girth.Originally Posted by LadyHitchhiker