Too funny! Classic Titles Rewritten for the Era of the Subtitle

[mae]

http://www.omnivoracious.com/2009/09...-subtitle.html

There are quite a few witty ones at Kottke.org (follow the link).

How about we come up with these for all King books? Could be a fun exercise as we wait for Under the Dome. I guess spoilers are to be expected.

I'll start off with Carrie, but feel free to redo it or continue. The rules are simple: you can't use the original title and your new title must have a subtitle.

Then: Carrie
Now: Blood and Telekenisis: The Terrifyingly True Story of Carrie White

[John_and_Yoko]

Then: The Shining
Now: Alcohol, Child Abuse, and Ghosts: A Catastrophic End to a Secluded Colorado Hotel

[mae]

I nearly hurt myself laughing at this one:

Then: The Cask Of Amontillado
Now: Bait and Switch - The Dangers of Craigslist

[rosie real]

then: rose madder
now: get lost! : finding your inner warrior and getting rid of him for good


then: bag of bones
now: music of the night: how i found love and saved a life




eta: and this is one of my favourites

Then: Harold and the Purple Crayon
Now: Tagged! Drawing on a lifetime of street art

[Sam]

Then: Cycle of the Werewolf
Now: Lycanthrope and How it Affects You: The Tragic, Misunderstood Story of Reverend Lester Lowe and His Encounter with Martin Coslaw

[BROWNINGS CHILDE]

Was: Pet Sematary
Now: So You've lost a Loved One: The do's and don'ts of necromancy

[mae]

Was: Pet Sematary
Now: So You've lost a Loved One: The do's and don'ts of necromancy

[darkwolf]

Then: It
Now: Why You Shouldn't Talk To Clowns

[Solar]

Was: Salem's Lot

Now:

This Town Sucks! The Tragic Death of Kurt Barlow

or

Bloody Stake: A True Tale of Rare Horror

or

"Why Aren't You Sparkling? Oh Fuck...you're not my Edward!"

[John_and_Yoko]

Then: It
Now: Why You Shouldn't Talk To Clowns

I laughed when I read that, but that doesn't have a subtitle--or rather, the subtitle is the whole title there.... Care to put something before it?

[mae]

Then: Thinner
Now: Gypsie Pie: The Dangers of Alternative Medicine

[darkwolf]

Then: It
Now: Why You Shouldn't Talk To Clowns

I laughed when I read that, but that doesn't have a subtitle--or rather, the subtitle is the whole title there.... Care to put something before it?

Ah! I totally didn't realize! Hmmm... I think I got it!

Then: It
Now: OW! MY ARM!: Why You Shouldn't Talk To Clowns

[John_and_Yoko]

Then: It
Now: Why You Shouldn't Talk To Clowns

I laughed when I read that, but that doesn't have a subtitle--or rather, the subtitle is the whole title there.... Care to put something before it?

Ah! I totally didn't realize! Hmmm... I think I got it!

Then: It
Now: OW! MY ARM!: Why You Shouldn't Talk To Clowns

I didn't think it was possible to make that funnier....

[murlodin]

Then: Misery
Now: A "How to get through mental-ill nurses and disabilities" quick guide (Now made with fully new -and better- paper sheets!).

[Matt]

Then: The Stand

Now: God and what He means to you. A guide book to the Apocolypse

[darkwolf]

Then: Cujo
Now: Tsst!: Should've Called the Dog Whisperer

[murlodin]

Then: The Long Walk
Now: How to lose weight without dying in the process.

[John_and_Yoko]

Then: The Long Walk
Now: How to lose weight without dying in the process.

Um, subtitle?

(And wouldn't "lose weight" be more apropos to Thinner?)

[GirlGoneNineteen]

How about...
Was: The Long Walk
Now: Don't Buy A Ticket!: Dr Scholl's Inserts and You

[flaggwalkstheline]

Then
The Regulators
Now
The Wentworth Masssacre: How Violent Television Drove an Autistic Boy to commit Mass Murder and how YOU Can Stop it Happening Again

[BROWNINGS CHILDE]

Was: The Shining
Now: Daddy wants to kill Mommy: Survival guide for the clairvoyant child

[mae]

Was: The Shining
Now: Daddy wants to kill Mommy: Survival guide for the clairvoyant child

[Woofer]

THEN: Needful Things
NOW: Signed in Blood or How I Learned About the Downside of Making Deals with the Devil

[Bloodsoup]

The Road Virus Heads North
Yard Sales: How to avoid buying paintings that kill

or

Yard Sales: You probably should've just kept driving, buddy

'Salem's Lot
The Marsten House: A great place to hang

Lunch at the Gotham Cafe
A Big Bowl of Crazy: The dos and don't's of dealing with insane maitre d's

or

A Big Bowl of Crazy: Let's have a chat, and bring your lawyer!

[Myste]

I really like that 'Salem's Lot one!