After Hours at Lou's
This was my Final Project for my "Exploring the Arts" class in college. We were given several options, and the one I chose was to write a one-act play. I got a 98 on it.
After Hours at Lou's
Dramatis Personae
(In order of appearance)
Lou – Owner of Lou's Tavern
Joe – Frequent patron at Lou's Tavern
Patron – Drunken man whose face is hidden from the audience
Bob – Businessman
(SCENE-Inside of Lou's Tavern. It is almost closing hours. The place has an almost old-fashioned feeling to it and is very sparse—aside from the bar, there is only a small beat-down jukebox for entertainment as well as some tables for eating. The dining tables have all since been vacated, but there are still two people drinking at the bar. LOU, the bartender and owner of the tavern, is putting away some glasses. LOU is a small, skinny man. He has short, slicked-back black hair as well as a tiny goatee.
Two men are sitting at the bar, JOE and another PATRON. JOE is a big fat man with a thick gray mustache that covers his entire upper lip. We cannot see the second PATRON's face, as he is by himself in the corner with his face turned away from, but we can tell that he is rather thin and lanky. He is also drunk.)
Lou: (pours another glass for JOE) Still not talking, you two? You used to be such good friends.
Joe: Before he stabbed me in the back, you mean. (Takes a sip of his beer) Besides, we were never really 'friends' to begin with.
Patron: (mumbles something in a drunken state of stupor)
Lou: (sighs) You two have come to the same place for years now. You'd think you'd let bygones be bygones.
Joe: (shrugs, takes another sip)
(offstage a MAN's footsteps are heard.)
Bob: (offstage) Hey, is this place closed?
Lou: (calls out offstage): Not yet.
(BOB walks in. BOB is a middle-aged businessman. He has thinning gray hair, small spectacles almost falling off his nose and a bit of paunch around the midsection. He is carrying a large suitcase. He is wet from rain.)
Bob: (sighs in relief) Thank God I found this place. I've been driving around for hours. I must have gotten lost. This was the first sign of civilization I found.
Lou: Make yourself at home. We're going nowhere.
(JOE pulls up a stool for BOB to sit at. BOB sits.)
Joe: Here, comrade. Have a drink on me.
Lou: (pulls out a glass.) What will it be?
Bob: Scotch, please.
Lou: (Winks at JOE) Coming right up.
Bob: (Holds out a hand towards JOE) Thanks! I'm Bob Paddington. (Pauses) You look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?
Joe: I can't say that I do, unfortunately. (Shakes BOB's hand) My name's Joseph, but people here call me Joe.
Lou: Lou. I own this place. (Pours BOB's scotch) What brings you out here in the middle of nowhere?
Bob: Trouble with the wife. I just had to get out for a bit.
Joe: (Shakes his head) Family troubles. I can relate.
Bob: Your wife?
Joe: Nope. Son. We never really got along. I suppose I was always too hard on him, but he could never live up to my expectations. I remember one time he came home with this horrible girl—I lost my temper and refused that the two see each other. My son...overreacted.
Bob (sounds interested): What did he do?
Joe (casually): He shot himself.
Bob (shocked): That's horrible! Did...did he die?
Joe: (shakes his head) Nope. Couldn't even do that right.
Lou: (whispers to BOB) Don't let him fool you—Joe is a real softie. This is how he copes with his emotional issues.
Bob: (laughs nervously, finishes his scotch) Well, thanks for the free drink. I appreciate it. But I might as well be going now. (Picks up his suitcase and heads for the exit.)
Lou: Didn't you say you were lost? Its pretty dark out, and the weather's poor. I have an extra room—you're welcome to stay the night.
Bob: No, that's okay. My wife will be worried.
Lou: (titters) No, she won't.
(BOB ignores LOU and walks out. He leaves his suitcase.)
Joe: He was in a rush to get out.
Lou: They all are.
(The PATRON begins to stir out of his drunken stupor. We still can't see his face.)
Patron: (slurs) That man left his suitcase.
Lou: He'll be back. Maybe you should give it back to him.
(BOB rushes back in, almost trips)
Bob (quickly): Sorry, left this.
Lou: Something important in there, friend?
Bob: You could say that.
(The PATRON picks up BOB's suitcase and walks over. For the first time, we see the PATRON's face, and it is easily identifiable by his mustache. It is none other than ADOLF HITLER. BOB's mouth opens in shock, but nothing comes out. He turns to JOE.)
Bob: I-I know who you are! I've seen your face in books! Y-you're Stalin! Joseph Stalin!
Joe: You're a slow learner, comrade.
Bob: This doesn't make any sense! You two are dead! How is this possible?
(LOU walks around behind the counter. For the first time we see his lower half. There is a red pointed tail poking out from his pants.)
Lou: Isn't it obvious?
(BOB's eyes widen. His spectacles fall off. He scurries and picks it up.)
Bob: This can't be happening—I'm not dead, I was in my car—
Lou: (moves closer to Bob) You got into an argument with your wife, that much was right—but it escalated a little further than usual, didn't it?
Bob: I-I don't know what you're talking about—
Lou: (ignores him) You were in such a rush to clean up your mess, you went out driving in such poor weather and your car must have skid didn't it? Y'know Bob, you never told us...what's in your suitcase?
(BOB screams and runs off-stage. LOU and JOE look in unison at his direction, and then resume their positions at the back of the play. The PATRON/HITLER walks back to his seat as well.)
Lou: Well, as amusing as that was, its time to close down.
Joe (shakes head): What a wretched thing. I almost felt pity for him.
Lou: Really? I always find them entertaining.
Joe: That's because you have a sick sense of humor.
Lou: Since when did you feel empathy?
(The PATRON/HITLER walks off-stage in a drunken stagger.)
Lou: I don't think he should be driving by himself. You know what they say, friends don't let friends...(JOE gives LOU a look.) Oh, that's right, I forgot; you two don't get along anymore.
(JOE gets up and heads for the exit. He turns around one final time.)
Joe: Same time tomorrow, Lou?
Lou: That's 'Lucifer' to you, buddy.
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