Barack Obama "Fresh Prince"
Barack Obama "Fresh Prince"
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-j8h4zGjcY"]YouTube - Ninja Kitty - Original[/ame]
[ame="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1o2g_funnycats2_animals"]Dailymotion - funny-cats-2, a video from crotale13. Chats, chat, funny, drole, fun[/ame]
[h1]True Friendship - None of that Sissy Crap[/h1]
[h4]PG-Rated[/h4]
Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good but never actually come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.
You will see no cutesy little smiley faces- Just the stone cold truth of great friendship.
1. When you are sad -- I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on mountain dew.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must become involved in.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever the hell you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend'.
Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, But only you can feel the true warmth.
Send this to 10 of your closest friends.
Then get depressed because you can only think of 4
http://gadgets.boingboing.net/2009/0...sword-for.html
most exciting moments in science
part of this one isn't right.
NSFW?
very long poem
Originally Posted by razz
That was great.
Only the gentle are ever really strong.
The Following image is NOT photoshopped. look it up yourself if you don't believe me:
Bahahahahahahaha! Sweet!
Only the gentle are ever really strong.
http://www.ohgizmo.com/2009/01/26/shark-fin-ice-tray/
Also has an awesome link for a Han Solo frozen in carbonite ice tray.
LOL!
http://www.onesentence.org/
And, über cool:
http://www.ritsumei.ac.jp/~akitaoka/rotate-e.html
AHAHAHAHAH!
"People, especially children, aren't measured by their IQ. What's important about them is whether they're good or bad, and these children are bad." ~ Alan Bernard
"You needn't die happy when your day comes, but you must die satisfied, for you have lived your life from beginning to end and ka is always served." ~ Roland Deschain
More Number of the Beast: 666 Humor
- 660 -- Approximate number of The Beast
- DCLXVI -- Roman numeral of The Beast
- 666.000000 -- Number of the High Precision Beast
- 0.666 -- Number of the Millibeast
- / 666 -- Beast Common Denominator
- 0.005015 -- Reciprical of the Beast
- 666i -- Imaginary number of The Beast
- 1010011010 -- Binary number of The Beast
- 443556 -- Square of the Beast
- 2.8235 -- Log of the Beast
- 6.5913 -- Ln Beast
- 1.738E289 -- Anti-log of the Beast
- 6.66E2 -- Scientific number of the Beast
- 29A -- Hexadecimal number of the Beast
- 666! -- Factorial of the Beast
- 1-666 -- Area code of The Beast
- Mailto://666@hell.org -- E-mail address of the Beast
- http://www.666.org.html -- web-page of the Beast
- Phillips 666 -- Gasoline of The Beast
- 666 mg -- Recommended Minimum Daily Requirement of Beast
- Lotus 6-6-6 -- Spreadsheet of The Beast
- 665.99999973 -- Intel Pentium number of the Beast
- Windows 666 -- Bill Gates' personal Beast
very strange "Save wildlife" posters
Actual McDonald’s Application For Employment
These are actual answers on a McDonald’s application submitted by a 17 year old kid someplace in Florida. They actually hired him too. I think this kid’s gonna go far…
NAME: Greg Bulmash.
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I’m worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
[h1]The US government has a new website[/h1]
The US government has a new website, http://www.ready.gov/. It's another attempt at scare mongering in the style of the old "duck and cover" advice after WWII.
The fun thing is that these pictures are so ambiguous they could mean anything! Here are a few interpretations.
If you have set yourself on fire, do not run.
If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.
If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder.
If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about a cool design for a new tattoo.
Use your flashlight to lift the walls right off of you!
The proper way to eliminate smallpox is to wash with soap, water and at least one(1) armless hand.
Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth criminal with dead, dead eyes, run the hell away.
Hurricanes, animal corpses and your potential new tattoo have a lot in common. Think about it.
Be on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy. Also, they tend to rub their hands together manically.
If a door is closed, karate chop it open.
Try to absorb as much of the radiation as possible with your groin region. After 5 minutes and 12 seconds, however, you may become sterile.
After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head.
If you've become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that shit.
If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio, cower in the corner or run like hell.
If your lungs and stomach start talking, stand with your arms akimbo until they stop.
If you are trapped under falling debris, conserve oxygen by not farting.
If you lose a contact lens during a chemical attack, do not stop to look for it.
Do not drive a stations wagon if a power pole is protruding from the hood.
A one-inch thick piece of plywood should be sufficient protection against radiation.
Always remember to carry food with you during a terrorist attack. At least you'll be able to enjoy a nice coke and apple before you die.
Alternate ending:
http://quizible.com/quiz/movie-scenes-quiz/1075
I got 22/100
I want to do something for this woman, that is just too sad.
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