1003 Things I Learned From Watching TV. **Possible Spoilers**

[KaLikeAWheel]

In a nod to Fev and his excellent topics about movies and music, I have learned the following from watching TV:

The truth is out there.

If they'd killed Gilligan in the first episode, they'd have gotten off that island in two days.

Darrin Stephens was a friggin' idiot.

Even a vampire and a slayer can fall in love.

When you go to the ER, no matter how slight your illness/injury, chances are you will need CPR.

Drugs are bad..umkay?

Bones is a doctor. He is not a bricklayer, a lawyer, miracle worker, engineer, etc.

[jayson]

I learned if a show is any good it will get cancelled long before it should. (Freaks & Geeks, Arrested Development, Futurama...et al)

Yes, I'm bitter. TV is (mostly) a wasteland of shows churning out the same old formulaic crap while innovative well-written shows get cancelled.

I also learned that if you are cool enough, you can turn on a jukebox by hitting it.

[fernandito]

It's only cheating, if you get caught.

[jayson]

"It's not a lie if you believe it." - George Costanza

[Unfound One]

I also learned that if you are cool enough, you can turn on a jukebox by hitting it.

Heyyyyyyyyyyyy.

[KaLikeAWheel]

I learned if a show is any good it will get cancelled long before it should. (Freaks & Geeks, Arrested Development, Futurama...et al)

Yes, I'm bitter. TV is (mostly) a wasteland of shows churning out the same old formulaic crap while innovative well-written shows get cancelled.

Yeah, they always cancel the good stuff these days...bastards. They don't even give new shows a chance anymore. I've gotten to the point that I don't watch first run TV. I wait and watch if a show lives long enough to make it to sydication, or I get the first season on DVD from my library, and if I like it, I buy it. Today TV sucks, but it's had its moments in the past.

[Iwritecode]

You can sucessfully raise a family working as a shoe salesman and never eating.

High schools kids are routinely "friends" with their principal.

Anytime someone is drowning in the ocean, the lifeguard will run in slow motion.

[Rjeso]

It's not lupus!

[The Lady of Shadows]

apparently in miami a cop can fire his gun every other day and never get called in for a psych eval or even have to fill out a "discharge of weapon while on duty" form (and never get placed on desk duty either)

guns never run out of ammo for the good guys

a teenaged girl can kill monsters at night, never sleep, and still make good enough grades to graduate from high school and get into college (and look fabulous while doing all of it)

you can walk away from a head-on collision at 45 miles an hour with no injuries if you are sitting in just the right way

there is someone out there that can bring things back to life with just a touch but if he touches them again they die (and this includes food that has gone bad)

dogs never have accidents in the house no matter how long you leave them alone

mom always told us not to play ball in the house

[razz]

Time is more like a big ball of wibbley-wobbley, timey-wimey....stuff.


the beast way to dispose of your victims is to

Spoiler:

dump the body parts in the gulf stream

[Rjeso]

Lupins are way more valuable than we seem to think.

If you're in a horrible, fiery plane crash, you'll be fine after you get over the severe case of amnesia that resulted from the impact. Then you get to come back to your town to a lot of melodramatic music.

In every group of high school friends, there will be a jock, a smarty, a nerd, and a cheerleader, unless the group is supposed to be the villain of the story. Then they're all just cheerleaders and jocks.

Various sizes of animals can all fit into a tiny baseball-sized pod.

[Rjeso]

If you insist something doesn't exist, you'll be proved wrong by the end of the episode.

(Also, if you insist things like double-posts never happen to you, they will. )

[jayson]

You can survive a tremendous fall off of a cliff into a canyon so long as you hold up a sign that says "Yikes!" prior to falling.

[Rjeso]

Monsters lead such interestin' lives.

[Iwritecode]

2 parents, 6 kids, 1 maid and 1 bathroom = no problems.

Any problems that do arise no matter how big, can be solved in less than 30 minutes and usually involve a heart to heart discussion to ensure that a lesson was learned.

[Matt]

No one is the master of their domain.

[Odetta]

even gangsters have panic attacks

[razz]

I am LOST

[mystima]

if you work in a morgue and a dead body says "help me" you will be thrown back in time one day to save their life

[fernandito]

If a woman wants to 'become' more attractive she needs to either A] Place a paper bag over her head , B] staple a picture of Cindy Frawford to her forhead, or C] gouge out the eyes of every male in America.

[Girlystevedave]

I learned to never eat a Weenie Tot

[Empath of the White]

Beavers are B-movie aficionados.

[KaLikeAWheel]

Beavers are B-movie aficionados.

Is that an Angry Beavers reference?? If so, I may be in love.

I learned never to let your cat walk across your keyboard or you may get zapped into cyberspace.

[Empath of the White]

You win the fair day goose.

Bears are soul singers.

[mystima]

if you and your enemy ships are thrown from the alpha quadrant into the delta quadrant one ship will explode and the enemies become members of your crew.

space is the final frontier

you can travel to other planets through a ring and solve all their problems in one hour