Eternal Distance

[Jackie]

Heart Away From Home

Unlike the rest of me
My heart is not here
It resides some where else
In a far away land
Looking for love
Searching for hope
Trying to find its way home

Or perhaps it is me
Who should be doing the looking
The looking for my heart
Because maybe it knows better then me
And has found its true home
And now waits only for me

I will one day
Leave this place behind
Like dust it the wind
I will travel the world in its entirety if I must
Because one day I hope
To find the place where I so truly belong
Where my heart and I can be whole
And life is once again a beautiful song

One day dear heart
You may no longer ache with loneliness
For I may join you
Then and only then can we be at complete peace
Then can true love be found

One day dear heart I will find you
And we will truly be home
Right where we belong
Once we find home
Never again will you be alone

[Jackie]

Dancing in the Rain

Twirling in the rain
Arms wrapped around each other
Shoes drenched
Splashing through the puddles
Soaked to the bone
In sodden clothes

Not caring about the wet
Not giving a damn about the cold
Living for the moment
In each others eyes
The world seems to slow
All else seems not to matter

People pass by
Hurrying as they do
Afraid of the rain
Not wanting to ruin their hair
Their name brand shoes
Ignorant of all else but them self

We laugh at them
As they hurry on by
They look at us like we are insane
And that only makes us laugh harder
Who cares what they think
They mean nothing when I am in your arms

Time does not matter anymore
There is no where to go
When it is just me and you
Nothing else matters
It is just me and you
Right here, right now

Yes we are those crazy people
Who do not care what you think
We live in our own moment
In each others arms
Dripping wet
And you can bet on the fact that we do not care
Because it is just us right here

[Jackie]

This one I see more as a song because that's how it came into my head..with a tune instead of a rhyme

Damage

Do you really try
Do you even care
That you once told a little girl
That you’d always be there
But you’ve left her to die
She has spent so many nights crying
And now you don't even care
You don’t want to be there

Why does my world come crashing down
Why does my heart not make a sound
Was it impossible for you
To see all the damage you could do

Shes given you so many chances
But I think she gives up now
don’t ask me how its true
The answer is deep inside of you
Just look around
And see all the damage you have done
This was a battle that could not be won
You found something better
You left her forever
And now you’ve lost her love
So just go back to what you thought was better
Because you have lost her forever

Why does my world come crashing down
Why does my heart not make a sound
Was it impossible for you
To see all the damage you could do

All she ever wanted
Was for you to be there
For you just to care
But you left her to die
You left her to cry
And shes gone forever
All because you thought you found something better
Do you see the damage you have done
The battle that could not be won
Over something that could never be better
But its too late to be sorry now
Because she is gone forever

Why does my world come crashing down
Why does my heart not make a sound
Was it impossible for you
To see all the damage you could do


Why does my world come crashing down
Why does my heart not make a sound
Was it impossible for you
To see all the damage you could do

[Jackie]

Falling

No ground beneath me
Nothing to steady myself on
Just the empty air around me

This dark empty space
No light to be shed
The dead need no light to survive

Counting down
Day after day
I am not really sure how much time is left

It seems to be for ever
But I know it wont be
I can feel the ground getting closer

Right beneath me
Solid reality
I have not hit the ground yet I can already feel the pain

It burns through me
These flames of pain
I anticipate the moment when I can feel them no more

Finally the pain streams out of me
In flowing rivers of red
Drowning in the sea of the dead

Silence
Darkness
It is all over now

[Jackie]

Murderer In The Mirror

In The Ball Room
Across the hall
With a knife
And a hatred so strong

Looking into
A sea of shimmering silver
Completely aware
Of what she was about to do

She looked her victim
In the eyes
The woman she hated at first
But had now come to despise

The knife shining in her hand
Gleaming with thirst for a river so red
Hungering for flesh
So porcelain white

She showed no fear
Showed no shame
Knowing that if she was ever found out
There would be a blush to her name

She finally decided
That she had procrastinated enough
And with out hesitation
Plunged the blade deep into her victims breast

Blood rushed out
To greet the night
Fresh red droplets plinked softly
Soiling the smooth surface of a silver sea

Watching the light drain out of her victims eyes
She shared the pain
This use to be a woman
She felt she knew so well


She watched her victim
Sink to the floor
crumbling into a life less ball
It’s finally over after all

She turned and walked
To the door where she had entered
But she wouldn’t be returning
From where she had come
not after she had committed the crime has been done
She entered the white light
Goodbye
Goodnight

[Jackie]

The Worst Thing to Happen to the Best Thing

This sucks so bad
I thought you cared
But I was wrong
It was never there

I don’t know why
It was you
That I finally gave
My first chance to

Maybe I was stupid
Maybe I was wrong
But for once in my life
I let hope get a hold of my heart completely

All I ever wanted to do
Was spend time with you
Hold you close and look into your eyes
And feel your heart close to mine

Falling asleep next to you that night
Was the sweetest thing ever
I only wish
That it could have lasted forever

I was always so happy to be with you
The feeling of your arms around me
Was the greatest thing ever
Even on my worst days it always made me feel better

Even better was your kiss
You were my first
And I was glad it was you
Because kissing you was the best feeling ever

I don’t want to say goodbye
Why does this always happen to me?
As soon as something good starts to happen
My life falls to pieces in front of me

[Jon]

Jackie...don't take this wrong but I LOVE the title!

I'm big on titles. You gotta catch the eye.

[Jackie]

Jackie...don't take this wrong but I LOVE the title!

I'm big on titles. You gotta catch the eye.

haha no thanks I like to come up with creative titles too, you know catch the readers eye I like to think of the title as the cover art for the poem

[Jackie]

Slowly Dying

As I dig this blade into my wrist
I think of all the happiness I’ve missed
All the laughter that could have been heard from me
All the smiles I keep hidden
So no one will ever see

I’ve given up
Trying to be happy
It will obviously never be
That sun that shown down on me
When I was a child
Will never again shine on me

The person I once was
Isn’t me anymore
She was left outside
Left to cry
Left to die

It doesn’t matter anymore
No matter how much blood I loose
The pain wont bleed away
No matter how dry my eyes are from crying
These terrible feelings are here to stay

Physical pain is nothing
Compared to the emotional that I feel
I would do anything to make it go away
But this pain is here to stay
I’m slowly dying everyday
Its painful
But its just easier this way

[Jackie]

Leaving

Its been so long
I’ve spent too much time here
Its time for me to say goodbye
Please don’t make this hard
AS goodbyes always are
Leaving now is just best for me
Best for everyone
You’ll see
Don’t waste your tears on me
Don’t waste your time worrying
Or pretending to care
So we will just say goodbye
Without a hug or kiss
That will just make it harder
On me not you
Because its you ill miss
So ive packed my bags
Im on my way
I wish I could say
That I will see you again some day
But once I leave
I can never come back
Not to this place
Lets leave it at that
I’ve been searching for so long
And I have finally found it
The courage to leave
And that is today
So goodbye
I’m leaving, leaving today

[Jackie]

Pain No More

Skin as pale as parchment
Dry lifeless eye
No tears left to cry
A heart with out a beat
Lungs with out breath
Veins with out blood
There is nothing left
One last lifeless thud
On the bathroom floor
Completely still
Not a sound to be heard from this girl
She finally gave up
She finally gave in
And now there is no more
Of that completely unbearable pain
That she held inside for so long
All the pain from yesterday and more
Now resides in a red puddle on the floor

[Jackie]

Different

Right here
Right now
Different some how
Same face
Same name
But some how different
Her hearts not the same

You cant stay the same forever
People always change
But this happen so drastically
And in such a rush
Almost as if over night
Like some kind of internal bug

Different here
Different now
Same face
Same name
But definitely not the same
I don’t know why this happened right now
She’s just different some how

[Jackie]

My Mind Is Playing Twister With My Head

I’ll be okay
For right now
For today
Maybe that is
If they don’t break me down
don’t break me right now
In a sense I’m already broken
Yet still holding on somehow

Holding on by a thread
An inch away from falling off the edge
All these thoughts and feels
Playing twister in my head
All the words that were ever said
Repeating, repeating in my head
All the moments
Replaying, replaying in my head

As I lay in my bed
Unable to sleep
Unable to eat
Unable to control it anymore
So many questions
I don’t know how to answer
Or rather decide

Should I just let go ?
Cut that last thread?
Should I just jump off?
And hold my breath bracing myself for impact?
Can I face this world?
Or am I ready to die?
Why the fuck do I always stay up and cry?
What do I do now?

So many questions
No answers to go with them
Just me left here
Contemplating in my head
Searching for the answers
I just might dread
I don’t know what to do
But lay here and cry
Lay here
And just possibly die

[Jon]

Yes... sometimes answers are prisons.

[Jackie]

Broken Inside

As the blood runs down my eyes
Erasing my memories
Of looking in your eyes
So much pain
So much stress
My heart once again in distress

I’m broken inside
Broken inside
Broken inside
Broken all the time

I’ve got no place to go
No place to hide
Nothing to wipe these tears
Away from my eyes
They burn with my hate
For myself I despise

I’m broken inside
Broken inside
Broken inside
Broken all the time

There’s no point left
I was put on this earth to die
I have nothing left
To hide these scars
They’re in plain sight
Ripped to shreds like my heart

I’m broken inside
Broken inside
Broken inside
Broken all the time

The pain is constant
There’s no where to hide from it
It knows me awake
It haunts me in my dreams
Its with me while I’m alive
The only way out
Might be to just die

I’m broken inside
Broken inside
Broken inside
Broken all the time

[Jackie]

Dead At The Door

Ding-Dong
Deaths at the door

Ding-Dong
He’s here to collect your soul

Ding-Dong
You cant ignore it for long

Ding-Dong
His impatience is strong

Ding-Dong
He’s coming for you

Ding-Dong
If you though you could escape it your wrong

Ding-Dong
You’ll answer it soon

Ding-Dong
If not he’ll just come in after you

Ding-Dong
You can not escape this darkness

Ding-Dong
He’s right behind you

Ding-Dong
He’s breath down your neck

Ding-Dong
Your on the floor

Ding-Dong
You are dead at the door

[Jackie]

I’m not worth anyone’s time, so I might as well leave this place behind

I really don’t matter
No one honestly cares
So why should I even bother to stay here

I’ve fucked up so much
If I could I would take it all back
But goodbye is the best I have

This town and everyone in it
Is just a reminder of everything ive ever messed up
I just need to escape the bitter reality of it all

This decision may be the hardest thing to do
But it would probably be best for me
Along with everyone I knew

There is no reason for me to stay
I’m useless here and unwanted
I sense it every day

I’m not worth anyone’s time
Why even bother with me?
I’d just fuck it up, you’d see

I’ve already wasted so much time
Mine and everyone else’s
So its just time for me to leave this town behind

Goodbyes may be hard
If anyone still wants to pretend to care
But that’s all it is, pretend, it doesn’t matter if I’m here

I’m just not happy here
I never have been
And I know I never will be

I can’t even fake it anymore
I can’t pretend to be happy when I’m not
This town is filled with too many painful memories

Every where I look
Every where I go here
Is just a memory of something I fucked up

Its time for me to just move on
I just need to leave New Jersey all together
Maybe then things will finally get better

[Jackie]

Forever Gone

Look in my eyes
Just once
Maybe the you’ll realize
All the pain I have been through
All because I care so much about you

I would say I wish
I had a second chance
But maybe I never had
Even one to begin with
Some how I just wish I had a chance right now

I care about you so much
I worry all the time
When I don’t see you for days
All I can think is
Damn I hope he’s fine

When I see you
Its such a huge relief
Just to know you’re there
Still alive
And still okay

I know you probably
Could not care less about me
It kills me inside
That you probably feel that way
It kills me a little more each day

At least I still see you though
Usually five days out of seven
I don’t know what I’m going to do
When it’s the end
I am already dreading that day

That day when everyone else will be happy
They might ask me what’s wrong
And of course I’ll lie
And tell them it’s nothing

When it’s actually the biggest something in the world
Fates biggest wrong
Because after that day you’re leaving
And you will be forever gone
Life is so wrong

I know that I will probably never see you again
This kills me the most
Not because I still like you
Which I do
But because now I won’t see you usually five out of seven



Now there will be no way
To be sure that you are okay
To be sure you’re not hurt
Or in a hospital some where out there
There will be no way for me to know

Cause I know you won’t talk to me
You barely do now
I wish so much
That you didn’t have to go
I wish there was more time

If we had more time
Maybe then I would have a chance
Maybe it would work out
And we could be perfect together
Perfect for each other

Just like everyone had always said
We looked so good together
I’m not even sure what happened
I wish so much that you cared
As much as I care about you

It’s killing me inside
That the end is drawing near and nearer
You probably won’t even say goodbye
And that might be best because I don’t want to cry
Because you’re leaving my life forever
For me you are going to be
Forever gone......

[Jackie]

Never Regret You, Definitely Never Forget You

What we had was amazing
At least I thought so
You really did seem to care
If it’s true I’ll probably never know

The way we would hold hands
The way we would kiss
Every moment in your arms
Was complete and total bliss

Everyone said we were perfect
Made for each other
Never would break up
But never came sooner then anyone had imagined

I remember everyone moment with you
As if it were just yesterday
I wish it had been
Then and today

If I close my eyes
And try real hard
I can still almost imagine
Your heart close to mine

I haven’t much to remember you by
A picture of us holding hands
And I must admit every time I look at it I cry
Because I just want those days back so bad

I miss the feeling
Of your arms around me
Your heart close to mine
The feeling of your embrace is no longer mine

I miss the sweet taste of your lips
So soft
So divine
Those lips are no longer mine to kiss

I miss my hand in yours
The way you would go to grab mine
And then pull me closer
Your hands are no longer mine to hold

The day you broke my heart
All I wanted to do was run away
Just fade into the background
Of that grey and dreary day

I couldn’t feel for days
I was just completely numb
My heart fell out of my ass
And there is no way to pick it up

I am not going to lie
I still like you
I still care
I still wish you would let me be there

I really do miss you
Looking into your eyes
Just being close to you
Just sitting around and talking to you

You truly are perfect
In every single way
From your voice, to your oh so sweet smile, even the way you dress
You are walking perfection, no less

You are so cute
And so sweet
I don’t care what anyone else says
I could never regret you, and I will definitely never forget you

[Jackie]

Numb

At a point past apathy
Just completely numb
Almost better then feeling emotion
No more fear
No more tears
No more self loathing
No more despair
Now its just quite
Now ts just dark
Like someone has stuck a needle
Filled with Novocain in my heart
Emptiness fills my eyes
No longer do I have to disguise depression
No longer do I have to pretend not to be sad
I don’t have to fake another smile
Or another laugh
I don’t have to pretend to be
Someone I am clearly not
Now I can just sit alone
In the dark pouring rain
And enjoy this numbness
My only substitute for pain

[Jackie]

Time is Dwindling

Dwindling, dwindling, dwindling down
Time is dwindling, dwindling down
Silently, softly
With out a sound
Losing all sense of thought
Losing all sense of feel
Your mind slowly unraveling
This is real

Falling apart
Falling down
Falling into nothing
Black space where you will never hit the ground
Just falling, falling
While time is dwindling down
Dwindling, dwindling, dwindling down

Nothing you can feel
Nothing you can touch
Total darkness
A blinding rush
Falling, falling
While time slowly dwindles down
Falling, falling
Yet you will never hit the ground

[Jackie]

Wishing

I know that wishing
Never gets you anywhere
Yet I cant help myself
By still wishing you were here

Wishing that you were still with me
Wishing that you still cared
Wishing that when I needed to talk you were still there

I really think we could have been good
If only you would have given me the chance
To show that I really do care

I don’t care what they say about you
Everything they hate I love
You are perfect in every way

From the sound of your voice
To the sound of your laugh
And your oh so sweet smile

I wish I could kiss you again
I wish I could hug you and be in your embrace
I wish I could at least be your friend

I would always have been there for you
No matter what the case
If you ever had needed a shoulder to cry on
You would have had my embrace

I would still be here for you
If you ever really needed it
Or someone to talk to
Id be by your side in a heart beat
Because I care so much about you

I would go to the end of the world and back
I would walk millions of miles
Just to see your smiling face
And to once again feel your warm embrace

I wish I had another chance
Maybe it would work out this time
I wish you could see how much I truly care
I wish you cared about me again

Even though I know wishing doesn’t get you anywhere
I wish this everyday
Secretly in the shadows of my heart

You probably don’t know
And you probably don’t care
But I wish I could have the courage to let you know
That if you ever needed someone
I’ll always be there

[Jackie]

Apparently Not

I thought I was over you
Thought I lost the ability to care
But apparently I’m not
Apparently I haven’t
There’s a whole list of songs
A million and beyond quotes
That make me think of you
And the memories of us together
When you were just that sweet kid I knew
I wish that all of this hadn’t happened
I wish we could have just remained friends
At least then you talked to me
Walked with me
And hugged me
And I will regret it until the end
That some how I screwed it all up with you
And that the happiness I found in you
All had to end

[Jackie]

The perfection Of The Bliss That I Don't Want To Miss

My heart slows down
Its so hard to breath
Your face
Your laugh
Your smile
The sound of your voice
Is all I can hear
All I can see
When I close my eyes

I just want you close to me
I want your arms around me
Your hand in mine
I wanna feel your heart beating
And your soft steady breathing
I just want you next to me

I dont want it to end
Especially not like this
I don't want to lose you again
Especailly when you say you care
And that you never want me to leave
Because I never want you to leave
But I'm so afraid
That, that is what your doing to me

I've never cared about anyone
The way I care about you
I never wanted anything
Or anyone more
I've never been so comfortable around anyone
Or with anyone but you
I've never trust someone so much
Or believed every word they said

I would do anything to be with you
Anything to stay with you
Anything you wanted
Anthing you needed at all
I just want to see you happy
I want to make you happy
Anyway I can

Every moment with you is amazing
Magical
And I never want it to end
Time goes so fast when I'm with you
But I still cheris
And remember every moment with you
AI'm always so afraid that the next moment might be our last

I can never stop thinking of you
I even dream of you
Even thought no dream is better then actually being with you
I love everything about you
Your hair, your smile, the sound of your voice
Your laugh, your crazy personality
The way I can never have a dull moment with you
I love the way you hand feels in mine
And when you wrap your arms around my waist and pull me close
I love looking in your eyes
And when you kiss my hand

I can't get enough of you
I want you to be there
I want you to be with me
I want everything to keep going
As good as it was
Everything was going so great
Insanely perfect
I want it to be like that again
And I want it to stay like that
Please, please don;t let this, us, end

[flaggwalkstheline]

that's beautiful