The Moon and You

[Letti]

Oh nice. I was sure you have been writing poems for long years.

[alinda]

M-O-O-N, I am going to write a poem about the moon.
Yours is wonderful by the way....I love the baby I'm no
astronaut line, I think its expired !!

[obscurejude]

My last Duchess uses I 6 or so times in it, and Fra Lippo Lippi is self referential all throughout it. Andrea del Sarto is as well, when he is talking about himself to his wife in Browning's work, which was what I was trying to do here. It is supposed to be like I am talking to the moon and the girl who left me about how I feel, as I am walking down the street at night, which was what I always used to do when thinking about her became to much, and I couldn't say any of it to her because she wouldn't listen anyway. The narrator walking down the street looking up in the sky and addressing the moon who is a symbol for the girl who left him that he can't talk to about it was what I was trying to bring across.

What I was trying to say is that these poems use "I" as spoken between themselves and another person. It was the contrast of your first stanza with the introspection of the following ones that I was talking about.

Chris, I think you brought all of that across, I'm just saying that it might be a little confusing to your reader, that's all. You have great images here, but sometimes the efficacy of a good image can be lost if its isn't executed simplistically. I'm very familiar with My Last Duchess and Fra Lippo Lippi, but its been a awhile since I read Andrea Del Sarto, so I'm not going to say anything in regards to that. Childe Roland is introspective and a Dramatic Monologue, but I think one of the reasons that the introspection works is because Roland doesn't really deal with many other characters within the poem (basically only the Hoary Cripple of the first stanza). The rest of the poem is Roland coming to grips with the nighmarish landscape that he is surrounded by, and this is consistent. Its the inconsistency of "you" and then "I" that was throwing me off in your poem. Its just my opinion Chris, and I'm trying to be delicate about phrasing it.

[LadyHitchhiker]

All I can think of when I see this thread title is M-o-o-n that spells Tom Cullen...