American Dad
Francine: Stan, have you been eating the cookie dough again?
Stan: Why, is there still some on my face?
Francine: No.
Stan: Then no.
American Dad
Francine: Stan, have you been eating the cookie dough again?
Stan: Why, is there still some on my face?
Francine: No.
Stan: Then no.
I will paraphrase since I am have a bit to drink. The topic says tv but did not say it could not be a movie.
When you find yourself alone, riding in green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled. For you are in Elysium and you are already dead
LOVE the AV, dwarf!
All that's left of what we were is what we have become.
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Charlie: Look man, I don't know how you guys do things in, what was it?
Mac: Israel!
Charlie: Israel, or whatever, but this is America! You can't just come in here and steal our land from us.
Ari: I'm pretty sure that's how this country was founded in the first place.
Charlie: What are you saying?
Mac: OK, I don't even—I don't know what that means. Does anybody know what that—OK, if you're talking shit about America, man, we are gonna kick your ass.
Family Guy
Stewie (After Lois has wrecked one of his maniacal inventions)
"Damn it, you vile woman.
You have impeded my work from the day that I escaped from you wretched womb."
Sloth Love Chunk
The 4th Doctor: You know there's something very odd going on. You remember that man who was following us? Well he's standing right behind me, pointing a gun at my back.
And all in the most casual way possible. Genius.
Mal: Next time you wanna stab me in the back, have the balls to do it to my face!
Firefly
Malcolm Reynolds. Legend!
Never be cruel and never be cowardly. And if you ever are, always make amends.
You are a walking talking Doctor Who encyclopedia to me. - Melike
"say, your coat's kind of a brownish colour."---firefly
"hey, buddy, put the mouse back in the house, this is a family place."---friends
"i know for a FACT that that is ridiculous."---fringe
"bears. beets. battlestar galactica."---the office
"who put cookies in his mouth?! you're not supposed to do that!"---seinfeld
- Al Bundy"Let's rock!"
- Norman Jablonsky (AKA Jefferson)"Can I get a whoa Jablonsky!"
- Al BundyOl' McBundy had a farm, B-U-N-D-Y.
And on this farm there was no wife, B-U-N-D-Y.
With a no wife here, and no kids there,
And a hooker coming over on Friday night,
Big hooters with a pizza and a beer there,
Old McBundy had a farm, B-U-N-D-Y!
- Keslo, That 70's ShowBURN!
- SpacedTim: What?!?
Thug: You know what!
Tim: No, I do not know what!
Thug: Take a wild guess!
Tim: Is this because i sang that Kia Ora advert?
Never be cruel and never be cowardly. And if you ever are, always make amends.
You are a walking talking Doctor Who encyclopedia to me. - Melike
"Being miserable doesn't make you special. It just makes you miserable."
-Wilson to House
Here's the one I thought you should use for your sig Ryan...
"The blonde girl who lives here says I like fruit pies." - Bobby Hill
That ep was on two nights ago.
Of all the great readings Pamela Adlon has given as Bobby, that is by far the single greatest of the bunch and the one that Melissa and I reference the most.
I just want to watch King of the Hill for hours now. I'll get a fix come 10 o'clock.
My absolute favorite Bobby Hill quote is:
"That's my purse! I don't know you!"
Plus, it's from one of the funniest episodes, IMO.
ha! i said that in the av/sig thread a while ago!
Prince: I'll give you a thousand gold pieces if you do this for me, Doctor.
Doctor: Ha! You think you can buy me with money? Five hundred.
Prince: Done!
Doctor Who: The Androids of Tara. Still watching the Key to Time season. There's PLENTY of Tom Baker quotes from that time I could use on this board, lol!
Never be cruel and never be cowardly. And if you ever are, always make amends.
You are a walking talking Doctor Who encyclopedia to me. - Melike
Friends:
I just love Chandler.Chandler: Hey, you guys in the living room all know what you want to do. You know, you have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream.
Ross: Ah, the lesser known "I Don't Have a Dream" speech.
"...neither the stupid jokes nor the easy surface emotions were the truth of Cuthbert Allgood."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace. For any fans of weird but brilliant comedies or cheesy 80s shows, you NEED to watch it!Sanchez: Here, let me cut up your pork pie.
Never be cruel and never be cowardly. And if you ever are, always make amends.
You are a walking talking Doctor Who encyclopedia to me. - Melike
Some Doctor Who quotes!
Sergeant Benton: What are we going to do now?
The Doctor: Keep it confused, feed it with useless information--I wonder if I have a television set handy?The Doctor: Logic, my dear Zoe, merely enables one to be wrong with authority.[On how to survive a nuclear blast.]
The Master: You could take the usual precautions...sticky tape on the windows, that sort of thing.The Doctor: You humans have got such limited, little minds. I don't know why I like you so much.
Sarah: Because you have such good taste.
The Doctor:....That's true! That's very true!The Doctor: Davros, if you had created a virus in your laboratory, something contagious and infectious that killed on contact, a virus that would destroy all other forms of life; would you allow its use?
Davros: It is an interesting conjecture.
The Doctor: Would you do it?
Davros: The only living thing... The microscopic organism... reigning supreme... A fascinating idea.
The Doctor: But would you do it?
Davros: Yes; yes. To hold in my hand, a capsule that contained such power. To know that life and death on such a scale was my choice. To know that the tiny pressure on my thumb, enough to break the glass, would end everything. Yes! I would do it! That power would set me up above the gods! And through the Daleks I shall have that power!The Doctor: Would you like a Jelly Baby?
[The Doctor's Jelly Babies are rudely slapped from his hand.]
The Doctor: Well a simple "No, thank you" would have been sufficient...The Doctor: You're a classic example of the inverse ratio betweeen the size of the mouth and the size of the brain.Adren: But you have access to the greatest source of knowledge in the universe!
The Doctor: Oh, I do talk to myself sometimes, yes...Mr. Fibuli: Captain, sir.
The Captain: Speak, Mr. Fibuli.
Mr. Fibuli: The Psychic Interference Transmitter, sir; There seems to be something counter-jamming it.
The Captain: What!? We Dematerialize in three minutes! (into a loudspeaker) ALL GUARDS ON ALERT! SOMEONE IS USING A COUNTER-JAMMING FREQUENCY PROJECTOR! FIND IT AND DESTROY IT IMMEDIATELY!!!
Mr. Fibuli: Captain, do you suppose any of the guards know what a "Counter-Jamming Frequency Projector" looks like?
Pause
The Captain: (into the loudspeaker) DESTROY EVERYTHING!!!The Doctor: I say; what a wonderful butler, he's so violent!Sycorax Leader: Blood control is just one form of conquest. I could summon the armada and take this world by force!
The Doctor: Well... you could do that. Yeah, you could do that. Of course you could! But why? Look at these people, these human beings. Consider their potential! From the day they arrive on the planet, blinking, step into the sun, there is more to see than can ever be seen, more to do than- no, hold on. Sorry, that's The Lion King. But the point still stands: Leave them alone!Cyberman: Our species are similar, though your design is inelegant.
Dalek Thay: Daleks have no concept of elegance!
Cyberman: This is obvious. But consider, our technologies are compatible. Cybermen plus Daleks; together, we could upgrade the universe.
Dalek Thay: You propose an alliance?
Cyberman: This is correct.
Dalek Thay: Request denied!
Cyberman: Hostile elements will be deleted. [they shoot at the Dalek, but it is unaffected]
Dalek Thay: Exterminate! [exterminates both Cybermen]
Cyber Leader: [to another Cybermen] Open visual link!
[the Cyber Leader appears on a screen in front of the other three Daleks]
Cyber Leader: Daleks, be warned. You have declared war upon the Cybermen.
Dalek Sec: This is not war. This is pest control!
Cyber Leader: We have five million Cybermen. How many are you?
Dalek Sec: Four.
Cyber Leader: You would destroy the Cybermen with four Daleks?
Dalek Sec: We would destroy the Cybermen with one Dalek! You are superior in only one respect.
Cyber Leader: What is that?
Dalek Sec: You are better at dying.[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SC0NuBaliLs"]And the Fury of a Time Lord.[/ame]The Master: Anyway, why don't we stop and have a nice little chat where I tell you all my plans and you can work out a way to stop me, I don't think!
and some Dead Like Me ones:
George: Do you really care how it's going with me?
Rube: Sure, I make my face look like this and the concerned words come out.
and because Mason always has the best lines
Mason: Heed his advice, and stay on his good side. He's like a volcano, George, he erupts and he spews lava on all the little villages, they run around and, they run around for their lives. But, you know, he stops, and you can go back to the safety of your own home.Roxy: Why do I have to have an occasion to spread the love?
Mason: Because you're an ornery bitch who eats puppy dogs for breakfastGeorge: Yuck! This juice tastes like ass, here you try it!
Mason: No, thanks. I'm trying to stay off of the ass juice for now.Mason: "Let's synchronize our watches."
George: "Good idea."
Mason: "I don't have a watch."
Only the gentle are ever really strong.
Ah, quotes from two shows i can't ever get enough of! Tik and Heather19, you're both truly awesome!
And to add to the Doctor Who quotage:
Hildred: You will confess, Doctor.
Doctor: Alright. Alright, i confess!
Hildred: Very sensible.
Doctor: I confess you're a bigger idiot than I thought you were!But my alltime favourite Doctor Who quote, which ironically comes from the one-off 8th Doctor tv movie, has to be:Doctor: One more thing. Your name.
Romana: What about my name?
Doctor: It's too long! By the time i've called out, "Look out..." What was your name?
Romana: Romanadvoratrelundar.
Doctor: Well, by the time i've called that out you could be dead! I'll call you Romana.
Romana: I don't like Romana.
Doctor: It's either Romana or Fred!
Romana: Alright, call me Fred!
Doctor: Good. Come on, Romana!
Doctor: A meteor storm and then the sky above was dancing with lights! Purple, green, brilliant yellow - YES!
Grace: What?!?
Doctor: These SHOES!!! They fit perfectly! Yes!
Never be cruel and never be cowardly. And if you ever are, always make amends.
You are a walking talking Doctor Who encyclopedia to me. - Melike
Fry: A real live robot! Or is that some cheesy Halloween costume?
Bender: Bite my shiny metal ass.
Fry: It doesn't look so shiny.
Bender: Shinier than yours, meatbag.
Professor Farnsworth: Getting the brain out was the easy part, the hard part was getting the brain out.
Bender (after turning human): Goodbye moderation!
"I wish they'd just wipe out humanity and get it over with. It's the waiting I can't stand." -Fry"I know we can't all stay here forever, so I want to write my words on the face of today." -Blind Melon