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Thread: Poetry Circle... (subject)

  1. #1
    Soldier Boy Odetta is a jewel in the rough Odetta is a jewel in the rough Odetta is a jewel in the rough Odetta is a jewel in the rough Odetta's Avatar

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    Default Poetry Circle... (subject)

    OK, THIS thread is for a basic Poetry circle...

    Very few rules... create a poem based on a subject. GO NUTS! When people get bored and want to change the subject, go ahead. Just make sure you leave time to let everyone post on the subject at hand before changing it!


    Here we go! Let's start with a little controversy, shall we?


    GOD
    Buddy, you think you look strong? You’re wearing a cape.

  2. #2
    Kingslayer John Blaze is a jewel in the rough John Blaze is a jewel in the rough John Blaze is a jewel in the rough John Blaze's Avatar

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    God Smiles

    Sometimes its hard,
    to wake up in the morning
    my head crazy with its dreaming,
    too many demons screaming
    and too many haters scheming
    while I'm pleading God for my redeeming
    Jehovah please, offer me your counsel,
    a chance to please my momma
    and her hopes for me fulfill
    while I steal
    a spin at life's fortune wheel
    does my future hold love and peace?
    or hate and strife?
    death at an early age?
    or kids and a lovely wife?

    I know Jesus Walks,
    but I hope God Smiles down on me
    I've tested too much suffering
    and miles I've walked of this misery
    so I lay me down on bended knee
    and crying I send up my plea
    for Him to send me blessings
    and once again make me shout with glee
    able to act my age again
    remove from these humbled shoulders
    the ugly sin
    and give me love within
    so mote it be
    to the devil's chagrin
    let him lose
    like when he went to Georgia with a violin
    but no matter what, in the end
    even if jaded I remain
    I thank God for waking me today
    for even pain and rain has its fruitful gain.

    i was listening to some Tupac, and this popped into my head. Hope you guys like it.
    "So many vows. They make you swear and swear. Defend the King, obey the King, obey your father, protect the innocent, defend the weak. But what if your father despises the King? What if the King massacres the innocent? It's too much. No matter what you do, you're forsaking one vow or another."

  3. #3
    Caution: eye irritant Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon's Avatar

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    GOD



    "Damn it", Is that the rest of your name?

    Did you send your son for fame?

    Or was his purpose to die for our shame?

    His death rent the veil in two.

    long after Lucifer's attempted coup.


    Many seek your son, many deny his blood.

    Many claim a love too great for such a flood.

    Two cities, caught up in desire.

    Felt your wrath of brimstone and fire.

    But where do you and I stand sir?

    I will always know when my heart begins to stir.

    Your angels watch over children and fools.

    Your commandments, far more than rules.

    I know your son will not long tarry.

    your mighty sword cannot be evaded with a simple parry.

    You showed John what may be the end.

    I can only hope, at that time, you take me up with your mighty wind.

    I see that you let all men die, save two.

    I pray that I am chosen when my time is due.
    All that's left of what we were is what we have become.

  4. #4
    Soldier Boy Odetta is a jewel in the rough Odetta is a jewel in the rough Odetta is a jewel in the rough Odetta is a jewel in the rough Odetta's Avatar

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    those are both interesting poems.... I liked them!
    Buddy, you think you look strong? You’re wearing a cape.

  5. #5
    Salvation Comes w/ a Cost OchrisO has a spectacular aura about OchrisO has a spectacular aura about OchrisO has a spectacular aura about OchrisO's Avatar

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    A short one in free verse.


    I do not see God in much these days
    But I see her in your lovely face
    In the soft contours of your jaw
    In the spark of your deep blue eyes
    And the playful smirk of your lips
    I see, love, hope, redemption and life
    If that isn’t God, I don’t know what is.
    There's one hole in every revolution, large or small. And it's one word long.. people. No matter how big the idea they all stand under, people are small and weak and cheap and frightened. It's people that kill every revolution.

  6. #6
    Soldier Boy Odetta is a jewel in the rough Odetta is a jewel in the rough Odetta is a jewel in the rough Odetta is a jewel in the rough Odetta's Avatar

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    very nice, sir!
    Buddy, you think you look strong? You’re wearing a cape.

  7. #7
    Caution: eye irritant Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon's Avatar

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    OchrisO...That was a great one!!!
    All that's left of what we were is what we have become.

  8. #8
    Roont Matt will become famous soon enough Matt will become famous soon enough Matt's Avatar

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    These poems are beautiful. I'll try...

    You see me, but I don't see you
    you are of my mind, I am of your body
    you are forever, I am finite.

    I question, you don't answer
    I pray and you don't listen
    I cry and you don't care.

    The world dies under your watch
    the universe lives under your watch
    do you think of me?
    Am I insignifigant...?
    You don't answer
    The kindness of close friends is like a warm blanket

  9. #9
    Ubersnob Frunobulax is on a distinguished road Frunobulax's Avatar

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    Vom Himmel Gott

    GOTT IM HIMMEL!!
    Vom himmel hoch.
    Ad hoch.
    We look for Him. It. She. He. None. All.
    A man once said,
    God is a place you will wait for the rest of your life.
    Was he right about Him?
    Or is God innate in us all
    A change like spring, fall?
    Omnipotent feelings
    Rise through the ceilings
    Towards the heavenly spheres
    Bearing the weight of knowledge.
    My favorite bands can kick your favorite bands' asses.

    The horizon is right and motionless like the EKG of a dying woman.

  10. #10
    Gunslinger Apprentice The_Nameless is on a distinguished road The_Nameless's Avatar

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    Matt. I enjoyed your poem very much. I like how it illustartes the feeling of futility when it comes to asking higher powers sometimes give you.
    I am not sure if it is just me, but I felt some anger and frustration between these lines.

    Fruno. Your poems never cease to amaze me. I think the main reason for this is because I never know what to expect. Your style is unique and I enjoy the rhyming schmes you come up with.
    "Help me out here
    All my words are falling short
    And there's so much I want to say"

  11. #11
    Roont Matt will become famous soon enough Matt will become famous soon enough Matt's Avatar

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    Thank you Nameless. That is exactly what I was trying to convey with the poem.

    The uselessness of asking the question coupled with the need to know.
    The kindness of close friends is like a warm blanket

  12. #12
    Gunslinger Apprentice The_Nameless is on a distinguished road The_Nameless's Avatar

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    Transitory lives constructed around faint notions of humanity.
    Prattling off false demands, we believe we have reached out and touched you.
    Boldly we march; bravely we will fall.
    Who is right? Who has the right to dictate salvation?
    I will ask the questions to reach devinity.

    Shepards blindly guide us through the land,
    Projecting the befitting manner of the flock.
    To the cliff we march, jumping without inticement.
    Ever desperate to reach salvation, no one speaks up.
    Reaching out for the aid, I fall short of the hand.

    Comfortably we descend into perdition.
    Believing the best, they no longer see doom.
    The words of the shepard advise us along.
    I cannot decipher the same meaning.
    On the behest of our spiritual leader, they do not demur.
    All the while we miss the way to delverance's admission.
    "Help me out here
    All my words are falling short
    And there's so much I want to say"

  13. #13
    Ubersnob Frunobulax is on a distinguished road Frunobulax's Avatar

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    I prefer your take to mine, Daniel. Working in a shepherd into the God discussion is a nice touch/integration, and the last stanza nails the overall theme perfectly.
    My favorite bands can kick your favorite bands' asses.

    The horizon is right and motionless like the EKG of a dying woman.

  14. #14
    Caution: eye irritant Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon's Avatar

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    I KNOW about shepherds!!!!!
    All that's left of what we were is what we have become.

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    Ubersnob Frunobulax is on a distinguished road Frunobulax's Avatar

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    My favorite bands can kick your favorite bands' asses.

    The horizon is right and motionless like the EKG of a dying woman.

  16. #16
    Caution: eye irritant Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon's Avatar

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    When do we get a new subject????
    All that's left of what we were is what we have become.

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    Ubersnob Frunobulax is on a distinguished road Frunobulax's Avatar

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    Not soon enough.
    My favorite bands can kick your favorite bands' asses.

    The horizon is right and motionless like the EKG of a dying woman.

  18. #18
    Soldier Boy Odetta is a jewel in the rough Odetta is a jewel in the rough Odetta is a jewel in the rough Odetta is a jewel in the rough Odetta's Avatar

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    OK... new subject...


    War
    Buddy, you think you look strong? You’re wearing a cape.

  19. #19
    Ubersnob Frunobulax is on a distinguished road Frunobulax's Avatar

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    Rotary Dials the Tone
    A faint beep of warning--
    The tone of the shoreline came like fog in a harbor, which it was.
    Sunlight broke the morning
    And revealed the bodies on the sand.
    Sensations of deep yearning
    As birds.fled.from the corpses.
    My favorite bands can kick your favorite bands' asses.

    The horizon is right and motionless like the EKG of a dying woman.

  20. #20
    Kingslayer John Blaze is a jewel in the rough John Blaze is a jewel in the rough John Blaze is a jewel in the rough John Blaze's Avatar

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    i wrote one but it sucked balls. so i deleted it.
    i'll try again later
    "So many vows. They make you swear and swear. Defend the King, obey the King, obey your father, protect the innocent, defend the weak. But what if your father despises the King? What if the King massacres the innocent? It's too much. No matter what you do, you're forsaking one vow or another."

  21. #21
    Caution: eye irritant Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon's Avatar

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    I shall ponder this when I have less homework.
    All that's left of what we were is what we have become.

  22. #22
    Soldier Boy Odetta is a jewel in the rough Odetta is a jewel in the rough Odetta is a jewel in the rough Odetta is a jewel in the rough Odetta's Avatar

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    bump... c'mon... there has to be more poetry on WAR...


    or do we want a different subject?
    Buddy, you think you look strong? You’re wearing a cape.

  23. #23
    The Tenant Jean has a brilliant future Jean has a brilliant future Jean has a brilliant future Jean has a brilliant future Jean has a brilliant future Jean has a brilliant future Jean has a brilliant future Jean has a brilliant future Jean has a brilliant future Jean has a brilliant future Jean has a brilliant future Jean's Avatar

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    maybe we should wait a little. Inspiration might yet come.

    Ask not what bears can do for you, but what you can do for bears. (razz)
    When one is in agreement with bears one is always correct. (mae)

    bears are back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  24. #24
    Gunslinger Apprentice The_Nameless is on a distinguished road The_Nameless's Avatar

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    Yes; please wait a little longer.

    I have been attempting to form something, but my mind just hasn't been cooperating with poetry lately.

    I have an idea in the thoughts, brewing something, hopefully.
    "Help me out here
    All my words are falling short
    And there's so much I want to say"

  25. #25
    Soldier Boy Odetta is a jewel in the rough Odetta is a jewel in the rough Odetta is a jewel in the rough Odetta is a jewel in the rough Odetta's Avatar

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    no problem
    Buddy, you think you look strong? You’re wearing a cape.

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