Believe it or not, Johnson didn't exactly pull any bunnies out of his hat to which I shouted, OMG THATS NOT WHAT IS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN YOU MONSTER!
In fact, nothing really happened in the movie which I didn't expect. I sniffed most of the 'twists' out a long time ago, mostly because people have been going out of their way to talk about how many 'twists' there were in the movie. And it didn't take a Batman level detective to figure much of that stuff out.
I guess if I had to narrow my gripes down to three things (which is not exactly easy for me to do) they would be:
1.) I was very disappointed in the way they handled Luke Skywalker. While I'm perfectly fine with Rian Johnson's attempt to tear down the old Star Wars status quo and begin anew, I'm not sure that Luke Skywalker, a character with decades of history, should be treated in such a way. I mean, consider for a moment, who and what Luke is. A Jedi Knight who abandoned his training to save his friends and (possibly) jeopardized the safety of an entire galaxy because he absolutely REFUSED TO BELIEVE that his father was truly an evil man. So, I guess, over the past couple of years, he turned into the kind of dude who would raise his lightsaber against his nephew, even in a moment of weakness? Rather than speak to him? Than to do everything in the power to keep him on the light side of the force? And then, after this supposed horrible mistake, rather than take responsibility for his failures and track Kylo Ren and Supreme Leader Snoke (I won't get into the whole, how did Snoke ALREADY seduce Ben Solo to the darkside if he was training with Luke at the time) down, he exiled himself and cut himself off from the force. So you know, TRILLIONS of people could die, when Starkiller Base blew up much of Rebel alliance space.
I mean, the man who brought Darth Vader back to the lightside of the force, tucked tail and ran because, it was 'too difficult' for him to face. His twin sister's only son needed help, and Luke failed to come to his aid. Because being a Jedi is like really hard work and shit.
TOTALLY MAKES SENSE RIGHT?!
No, not it doesn't.
Now, I will say this, I liked how Luke had finally decided that the Jedi order and it's legacy is one of failure. I mean, that was kind of established in previous films (the second he refused to listen to Yoda and flew off of Dagobah, we realized that the Jedi teachings were not fail proof) but I'm glad it was finally said OUT LOUD. But then Rey shows up and she's like, omg Kylo Ren is attacking the Rebel Fleet you must help us, and he tosses his lightsaber....his lightsaber and the lightsaber of his father, over his shoulder? Jedi Order or not, Luke still carried a reverence for his father, for Yoda, for those who came before him.
That whole scene was just a double bird to the audience that smacked of, "All that shit you THOUGHT you knew about Star Wars is WRONG!" Just like Kylo's speech about Rey's parents, or lack thereof. Which I think was a red herring. But I disgress...
The man that Rian Johnson created was a coward and a fool, not the Luke Skywalker who once faced down the Emperor, in hopes to show his father he still had good in him.
2.) Rey has become boring and uninspiring. Not because she's a nobody, but because sloppy writing and weak story telling have made her such, and it's a shame, because I really liked her in TFA. Now she's the ultimate Mary Sue who can do anything because...why not? I was willing to overlook some of the blatant things in TFA (such as her being able to speak Wookie and fly the Millennium Falcon and beat Kylo Ren in a lightsaber duel), because I felt as though I was on a journey of self discovery with her, but now, she's pretty much a full fledged Jedi with about 15 minutes of training. Even her little consciousness merger with Kylo Ren was a plot device to help speed things along, and considering the movie was two and a half hours of subplots that amounted to zilch, they had plenty of time to develop their strange polar opposite of the force relationship.
In fact, one of my favorite parts of the movie was when Snoke was speaking about how he knew there would be an opposite reaction in the force, to Kylo's growing power, and that a warrior of the light would emerge. It's a great concept, there is no good without evil, no dark without light, and I was willing to run with it, even in such a character specific driven way. But besides their temporary alliance in killing Snoke and what I can only guess are the Knights of Ren (because....where did those guys fuck off to if they aren't there guarding Snoke?) there is nothing really shared between she and Kylo. Not really. He may revealed who her parents were (or did he?) but at this point, what difference does it make who her parents were or weren't? They weren't Han and Leia and her father wasn't Luke. So Kylo is absolutely right, she has no place in this story. And honestly, I kind of felt that way throughout the movie. She has no connection to the story or the galaxy besides her use of the force, and without Finn to tie her to, I felt she was just kind of....there.
3.) I'm having a hard time understanding Kylo Ren's motivation in all of this. So, he was seduced to the darkside by Snoke, presumably right under Luke Skywalker's nose...just because. Or so the story would have me believe. Because according to The Last Jedi, he was already corrupted when Luke was training him. So, I guess, he was just an angry young man? Who killed all the sand people, including the women in the children? Because at least Anakin did that because they killed his mother. Killed the Jedi at the temple because he believed the Emperor could save Padme. But according to this trilogy (so far) Ben Solo just decided he wanted to be a bad dude. So, he's a bad dude, Snoke tries to seduce him, Luke senses his power with the darkside, considers killing him which goes horribly awry, Ben Solo then kills a bunch of Luke's other Jedi students, burns down his temple, and takes off with the survivors to find Snoke....to form the Knights of Ren? I think? I hope! Because those guys have potential! But anyway...
He kills Han in order to prove to Snoke that he is no longer conflicted...right? But doesn't kill Leia because...he's a momma's boy? Because he is truly conflicted? Goes back to Snoke who claims that his faith in Kylo Ren is restored. Then he carries on with Rey for awhile, yadda yadda yadda, has he (Luke) told you what happened? Eventually takes her in front of Snoke, kills Snoke, reveals she's has no family, asks her to join him in tearing down the old ways. She says no (of course), they rupture Luke's lightsaber (because even with no training, she manages to be his equal in the force although he's had 13-15 years to train with Snoke) and it's knocks them both out. She then leaves without killing him, although she says herself there is no good left in him. He wakes up and takes up the mantle of Supreme Leader, although he JUST asked Rey to help him rid the galaxy of both the Rebellion and the First Order.
Then they travel to the planet's surface, where he is emotionally compromised and allows what is left the Rebels to escape because he's too busy fucking around with a force projection from Luke Skywalker. And he accomplishes nothing besides killing Snoke.
Because....he's just a bad dude?
I mean seriously, what is his end game here? I mentioned it above, that I had hopes that Kylo would actually become a true Grey Jedi. Not good or bad, but an anti hero, who's goal is to throw down the Rebellion and the First Order to usher in a new age of peace (or something of that nature). And for a moment I was like YESSSSSSSS in the throne room. I hoped that Rey would be totally on board, especially after Luke explained to her that the Jedi order should be allowed to die. But now that he's the new Supreme Leader...I mean, I imagine he wants to keep the First Order around to do his bidding...whatever that might actually be. I mean, if that is what he wants, if he's going for that whole Emperor thing, great. But make up your mind already.
And how is it now that Kylo has truly embraced his darkside and shed any doubts and conflict he might have had...he's whinier than ever? It's been established, he's no Sith. So what is with all the temper tantrums? I got it in TFA, loved his rage in that movie, but he should have learned to control himself by now.
Notable Mention: They Boba Fett'ed Supreme Leader Snoke and Captain Phasma. No backstory, no real part in the movies to speak of, but they looked awesome, and in the end they died like a couple of bitches. I mean why even bother bringing Phasma back in this movie if they were just going to use her for all of 90 seconds and a lame fight scene with Finn? And Snoke's appearance was drastically improved, he sounded cooler, he had a few speaking parts, but for all his power he couldn't sniff out Kylo's plan to kill him. Now there's another well they happily went back to. I mean, considering he knows of Vader, of how he killed the Emperor, you would think he might consider the same would happen to him, AMIRITE? But nope, hubris. Hubris has to be the downfall of everyone in a story like this, because it's *easy*.
Sigh. I could really go on all day as to why I didn't like it. And considering the fan ratings on Rotten Tomatoes, I'm hardly alone in my dislike. So lets not just pass it off as, "I didn't get what I wanted", eh?