So my other Dicken's ripoff (that sounds painful)... was a poem written for my nieces and nephew.
I made it into a "Limited Edition" coupon book... bound with a gum glue binding.
The first part of the book was the poem, on paper the same size as money....the last 50 pages were 1 dollar, 5 dollar and 10 dollar bills....so they could rip out a page and spend it.





A Christmas Poem (for my nephew and nieces)
by Uncle T.

On the Eve of Christmas Day
I married pen to pad, in poetic way
Like the howl of winter wind that whines through the night
This is a story that's crying to be told
So come in where it's warm, come into the light
Foregather all, heed the tale, that's about to unfold.
Once...
Long long ago, on another Christmas Eve
A trio of children, siblings I believe
By the window they sat, watching a rare winter snow
Anticipating the presents, that Saint Nick might bestow.
Festooning the sill, was a thick rope of holly
Nearby a cornered tree, stood burdened and jolly.
Like a fox ringed by hounds, gifts trapped the ornate pine tower
Tomorrow the festive wrapped presents, little hands would devour.
Looking through frosted glass, the youngest child spied
A frightful sight from the corner of her eye.
She called to the others, to come... look... and see
Noses pressed to the window they stared, childs one two and three.
Out in the cold, was a mishappened shape
No coat on it's back, not even a cape.
Enormously large, with a belly that shook
Fleshed an awful green tint, certainly no average crook.
With a deep furrowed brow, and stone coal black eyes
It was no halloween mask, no not a disguise
For the hideous grin, that glowered from it's face
Would make even an athiest, knell and say grace.
Across white painted yard, troll-like it scampered
A thorned treillage it climbed, totally unhampered.
From the rooftop was heard, a lumbering thump
A Scratching, a clattering, and then a huge bump.
Into the chimney, the gremlin did climb
Seeking some access, in which to commit crime.
As it clawed it's way down, the young three did fear
The thing that had come, to ruin Christmas this year.
Out of the fireplace, the monster did drop
Into the ashes, with an audible plop
Through the stockings that were hung, it came with great care
It wiped ashes from it's face, and dusted some from it's rear.
The children huddled together, petrified with fright
At the thing that stood before them, this Christmas eve night
Across the room, the ogre did stroll
Coming this evening, to take it's night toll.
Afraid for each other, they feared for their dad
They feared for their mom, and all that they had
They feared for the presents, they feared for their self
Then the Gremlin spoke....
and said....
"Waaaaz up...I'm an elf"!
An ugly elf tis true, but that didn't matter
Cause he was friendly and good, and man did he chatter.
He told how Santa, had come down with the flu
So he took over, and started early, to give all their due.
But since all the reindeer had also gotten sick
He had no sleigh to ride in, and wasn't as quick
So instead of carrying gifts, from one house to next
He came up with a plan, not quite as complex.
Instead of the packages that Santa usually brings
The color of green, would help to buy things
So he doled out some money, and all got a stash
Merry Christmas to all... now go spend the damn cash