Roland at the McDonald's - worst ending ever /main spoilers/

[LadyHitchhiker]

Roland gets near the top of the tower and opens a door that leads into a government office where he has to take a number and wait to be called into a little office. Then he is asked for his social security number, date of birth, income, job history, etc. He then has to fill out a bunch of forms and is told that he'll be contacted in 5-10 days regarding approval for him to open the last door in the tower.

That's one of my favorites yet!

Although Hellbeast's is awesome with awesome sauce as well!

[a fan]

roland reaches the top of the tower to find a out to lunch sine

[ICry4Oy]

[Letti]

Roland opens the door easily and goes in. What he finds inside is a big LCD TV, a nice and comfortable armchair and a blue-ray player. He sits down right in front of the TV and he feels he cannot move his body anymore. The TV turns on by itself so does the blue-ray player and on the screen he sees this:

The Dark Tower - directed by Quentin Tarantino
Then he sees himself acted by a tall handsome man walking in the desert.

The film starts and he has to watch it. He cannot close his eyes when Susan is burning alive.. or when he shoots his mom.. or when Jake is dying in his hands... He can never close his eyes. He cannot even blink.
When all the seven parts end it starts right from the beginning and he has to watch it again.
Again.
and again
and again
and again
Till the world ends.

[RainInSpain]

Awesome, Letti!
Poor Roland; I wonder which would be a worse kind of torture - to be doomed to repeat the quest forever, or to have to watch the same movie endlessly.

[Doe]

Worse if said movie is directed by Quentin Tarantino

[Jean]

hear, hear

[RainInSpain]

Personally, I have nothing against QT, so cannot readily agree with you guys. But to me, an endless repeat of any movie by any director would be quite horrible

[Doe]

I lost track of your post after..

I have nothing against QT

Im joking though, KillBill was a superb movie

[pathoftheturtle]

Roland is about to enter the Tower, when suddenly the U.S. Army charges past, and he realizes that they've fixed everything, and that things would have been fine if he'd just stuck with the crowd.

[RainInSpain]

I lost track of your post after..

I have nothing against QT

Im joking though, KillBill was a superb movie

So, I see you're not a fan of Quantum Theory (j/k, too)

[pathoftheturtle]

Well, that was a queer transition.
See what I did there? Quite Tricky. More Quirky Terminology!
Okay, I'm sorry... that's a questionable tactic. It can get quickly tiresome.

Roland's loop tightens. He enters the room at the top of the tower and finds himself in a field of roses, he climbs the tower, enters, the room, ends up outside at the base of the tower ad infinitum.

Alternatively, maybe the loop could broaden. Each time, he finds himself sent back in time farther and farther, so that he has to travel more and more instead of getting closer. Until eventually each loop requires different choices from his ancestors to get him a better upbringing. And then it goes all the way to the dawn of time and all manner of universes are created instead of the one he lives in... but he still never quite gets things right. (Okay, not that funny, but certainly not a good ending.)

[RainInSpain]

Well, that was a queer transition.
See what I did there? Quite Tricky. More Quirky Terminology!
Okay, I'm sorry... that's a questionable tactic. It can get quickly tiresome.

That is the quintessential truth, and I shall quit tricking you with my quizzical talk.
(Love wordplay, btw)

Roland's loop tightens. He enters the room at the top of the tower and finds himself in a field of roses, he climbs the tower, enters, the room, ends up outside at the base of the tower ad infinitum.

Alternatively, maybe the loop could broaden. Each time, he finds himself sent back in time farther and farther, so that he has to travel more and more instead of getting closer. Until eventually each loop requires different choices from his ancestors to get him a better upbringing. And then it goes all the way to the dawn of time and all manner of universes are created instead of the one he lives in... but he still never quite gets things right. :dokay, not that funny, but certainly not a good ending.)

This reminds me of one sci-fi novel, or part of a novel, that I had read many many years ago (I'd say about 25 years ago). I can remember neither the author nor the title, but its plot revolves around a civilization that discovers time travel, and, after having polluted their 'when', decides to go back in time to when nature was pure and natural resources plentiful. They did it multiple times, and ultimately ran out of the 'past' where they could go, and by then all of their future had been devastated and ruined, too.

[pathoftheturtle]

This reminds me of one sci-fi novel, or part of a novel, that I had read many many years ago (I'd say about 25 years ago). I can remember neither the author nor the title, but its plot revolves around a civilization that discovers time travel, and, after having polluted their 'when', decides to go back in time to when nature was pure and natural resources plentiful. They did it multiple times, and ultimately ran out of the 'past' where they could go, and by then all of their future had been devastated and ruined, too.

I read a juvenile sci-fi novel where exactly that happened in a simulation, alerting the inventor not to allow real people to know about his process for time travel. I can't remember the title, either. Maybe the plot was borrowed from the book you read.

...Roland winning some kind of reality tv show and him not knowing he was on it.. that would be funny...

At the top of the Tower, he finds a fancy boardroom. Three executives in fine suits sit frowning at him from across a long table. To one side is Chuck Norris, with a group who are clearly comrades of his. Norris snickers, "Finally! We saved our universe months ago."

One of the executives says, "Please have a seat, Mr. Deschain. We've been hearing stories of the numerous occasions in which the other Dinh singlehandly rescued each and all of his team members from certain death. Where are your other team members now?"
Roland blushes, "Um, they didn't make it."

Donald Trump looks him in the eye and says "You're fired!"

On the elevator ride back down, Roland says, "I'm still in shock. I didn't even know it was a contest. I thought I'd learn about the meaning of life here." As the last of the credits roll over this, the producer tells him, "I bet you'd do better on Survivor."

[Letti]

This reminds me of one sci-fi novel, or part of a novel, that I had read many many years ago (I'd say about 25 years ago). I can remember neither the author nor the title, but its plot revolves around a civilization that discovers time travel, and, after having polluted their 'when', decides to go back in time to when nature was pure and natural resources plentiful. They did it multiple times, and ultimately ran out of the 'past' where they could go, and by then all of their future had been devastated and ruined, too.

Oh my! It sounds really really interesting.



Roland enters the Tower, he climbs the stairs he opens the door of the room on the top and he finds... well, nothing. It turns out the oh-so-famous Dark Tower is just a fancy look-out tower.

[RainInSpain]

This reminds me of one sci-fi novel, or part of a novel, that I had read many many years ago (I'd say about 25 years ago). I can remember neither the author nor the title, but its plot revolves around a civilization that discovers time travel, and, after having polluted their 'when', decides to go back in time to when nature was pure and natural resources plentiful. They did it multiple times, and ultimately ran out of the 'past' where they could go, and by then all of their future had been devastated and ruined, too.

Oh my! It sounds really really interesting.

I'm trying to find that novel - it was really fascinating, in a way. Perhaps it was some Soviet author that is not known anywhere else; I'm going to ask the guys at work - there's a fair chance that those geeky types will know what I'm talking about

Roland enters the Tower, he climbs the stairs he opens the door of the room on the top and he finds... well, nothing. It turns out the oh-so-famous Dark Tower is just a fancy look-out tower.

I wonder if such an ending would not end the loops once and for all... why bother saving a lookout tower?

[pathoftheturtle]

Roland enters the Tower, he climbs the stairs he opens the door of the room on the top and he finds... well, nothing. It turns out the oh-so-famous Dark Tower is just a fancy look-out tower.

Or he opens the door and inside is just a broom closet.

How about this...

At last Roland crests the final flight of stairs and sees one last door, marked plainly "Roland." He boldly opens it, and an alkaline odor emerges. Immediately, he realizes what's happening, recalling that he's been through this many times before. In horror, he tries to pull away, but it's too late; invisible hands thrust him back into the desert to resume his quest yet again.
As his memory fades, he hears one more whisper from the Tower, but what the voices speak of is no horn, no token of his heritage.
Is there no hope for our hero? No chance for redemption? Is he inevitably doomed to this futile existence?
Shivering, you turn the page and read the fateful, final line...

Spoiler:

Be sure to drink your Ovaltine!

[mystima]

Roland enters the Tower, he climbs the stairs he opens the door of the room on the top and he finds... well, nothing. It turns out the oh-so-famous Dark Tower is just a fancy look-out tower.

Or he opens the door and inside is just a broom closet.

How about this...

At last Roland crests the final flight of stairs and sees one last door, marked plainly "Roland." He boldly opens it, and an alkaline odor emerges. Immediately, he realizes what's happening, recalling that he's been through this many times before. In horror, he tries to pull away, but it's too late; invisible hands thrust him back into the desert to resume his quest yet again.
As his memory fades, he hears one more whisper from the Tower, but what the voices speak of is no horn, no token of his heritage.
Is there no hope for our hero? No chance for redemption? Is he inevitably doomed to this futile existence?
Shivering, you turn the page and read the fateful, final line...

Spoiler:

Be sure to drink your Ovaltine!

Hahahahah hahahaha hahahaha lol

[Letti]

Roland enters the Tower, he climbs the stairs he opens the door of the room on the top and he finds... well, nothing. It turns out the oh-so-famous Dark Tower is just a fancy look-out tower.

Or he opens the door and inside is just a broom closet.

I must say this is one of the worst so far.

[Yaksha]

Roland climbs the Dark Tower going ever higher and higher reliving moments from his past. When he gets to the very top he opens the door and....................is swiftly transported back to the Battle of Jericho Hill. Now Roland has a chance to maybe change the outcome of everything..........Then the arrow meant for Cuthbert finds him. Falling over he dies knowing that he changed nothing. But Cuthbert sirvives the battle like Roland originally did and now Cuthbert is the last gunslinger. The Man in Black fled across the desert. And Cuthbert followed.


Not that I have a problem with Cuthbert. Far from it he is my favorite character.

[Letti]

Roland climbs the Dark Tower going ever higher and higher reliving moments from his past. When he gets to the very top he opens the door and....................is swiftly transported back to the Battle of Jericho Hill. Now Roland has a chance to maybe change the outcome of everything..........Then the arrow meant for Cuthbert finds him. Falling over he dies knowing that he changed nothing. But Cuthbert sirvives the battle like Roland originally did and now Cuthbert is the last gunslinger. The Man in Black fled across the desert. And Cuthbert followed.


Not that I have a problem with Cuthbert. Far from it he is my favorite character.

That would be a quite interesting ending. But why would Cuthbert follow the man in black?

[Yaksha]

Roland climbs the Dark Tower going ever higher and higher reliving moments from his past. When he gets to the very top he opens the door and....................is swiftly transported back to the Battle of Jericho Hill. Now Roland has a chance to maybe change the outcome of everything..........Then the arrow meant for Cuthbert finds him. Falling over he dies knowing that he changed nothing. But Cuthbert sirvives the battle like Roland originally did and now Cuthbert is the last gunslinger. The Man in Black fled across the desert. And Cuthbert followed.


Not that I have a problem with Cuthbert. Far from it he is my favorite character.

That would be a quite interesting ending. But why would Cuthbert follow the man in black?

because he stole the last klondike bar

[Letti]

Roland climbs the Dark Tower going ever higher and higher reliving moments from his past. When he gets to the very top he opens the door and....................is swiftly transported back to the Battle of Jericho Hill. Now Roland has a chance to maybe change the outcome of everything..........Then the arrow meant for Cuthbert finds him. Falling over he dies knowing that he changed nothing. But Cuthbert sirvives the battle like Roland originally did and now Cuthbert is the last gunslinger. The Man in Black fled across the desert. And Cuthbert followed.


Not that I have a problem with Cuthbert. Far from it he is my favorite character.

That would be a quite interesting ending. But why would Cuthbert follow the man in black?

because he stole the last klondike bar

No wonder the man in black deserves to die.

[Yaksha]

Roland climbs the Dark Tower going ever higher and higher reliving moments from his past. When he gets to the very top he opens the door and....................is swiftly transported back to the Battle of Jericho Hill. Now Roland has a chance to maybe change the outcome of everything..........Then the arrow meant for Cuthbert finds him. Falling over he dies knowing that he changed nothing. But Cuthbert sirvives the battle like Roland originally did and now Cuthbert is the last gunslinger. The Man in Black fled across the desert. And Cuthbert followed.


Not that I have a problem with Cuthbert. Far from it he is my favorite character.

That would be a quite interesting ending. But why would Cuthbert follow the man in black?

because he stole the last klondike bar

No wonder the man in black deserves to die.

yeah. he is uber evil. So Cuthbert seeks revenge for the death of the last klondike bar

[LadyHitchhiker]

Or the last twinkie like in Zombieland?