Roland at the McDonald's - worst ending ever /main spoilers/

[getabettereraser]

He opens the door at the top of the tower and finally becomes part of God Head. ENTER THE MIND OF GOD.
Finds that God is one of stephen king s tower junkies.
The actual coda is a dud made to fool whatever following red eyes has.

Or another good one is

Roland finds out the door was a former door that once led to the Source 'the matrix'. And that the Dark Tower world was once the main matrix simulated world before the Architect perfected our own world.

Long Live the Eraser

[wisemo]

The Real Ending to The Dark Tower

I'm by no means a writer, but I can at least read. For the love of god Stephen please give Roland Peace and rewrite the ending to the Dark Tower, here is the tale of really what happened from the beam to me. For you fell victim to the Crimson King. So here's what really happened to Roland you can use this to rewrite the ending and to set things right.

Last night after 8 years I figured out the real ending to the book. Spoiler if you have not read.
Rolands Redemption Song.

When Roland reaches the top of the tower he see's the door with his name on it but before he opens it he reaches down to his side to touch the horn of cuthbert, and the flash of his story to date happens before his eyes, he decides not to open the door but go back down the tower, and enter the door to save susan before she is burned alive he enters the world just in time to save her he enters through a magic door above Susan and tells the people he is Author Eld and what there doing is wrong as Ruu of the Coo that witch bitch tries to open her mouth Roland blows her brains out, he then frees Susan and rides of to meet up with Roland finding him right before the pink glam is going to whisk him away and show him the tower, at that moment he shoots the pink ball shattering it forever, but young Roland in reaction shoots Roland who falls to the ground dying, young Roland is united with Susan but confused at who the old stranger might be, Susan tells him it's Author Eld himself come back to save her, dying Roland says ah Gunslinger death for me but never for you, at this point a crow(Martin) watching the seen seeing the glam has been destroyed and Roland lays dying flies off when the crow is suddenly nailed by a hawk, instantly the crow transforms into Martin and the hawk is attacking his face and in an instant he is shot dead by both the old and young Roland. Then Roland with his dying breath says Long days and pleasant nights I go to my clearing. Then he wakes up in that rc fake cola, merker scropio world where he is in front of a great feast next to an older Susan it is Christmas and all his family is there his son Jake, eddie dean and his wife Detta Dean, his old friend Cuthbert and Alain and the 3 old guys who took care of the rose all those years, and father pat and Oy as a golden shepard and a parrot named david squaking beans beans, and Rolands mom and dad sitting in rockers and in the middle of the table is the most spectacular rose as we zoom in on the rose where transported to a different scene, where back in Gilied at an even more spectacular feast celebrating the defeat of John Farson and the marriage of Roland and Susan, and this time everyone is still alive Stephen, Rolands mom, Cort, Vannay. It ends with Roland and Susan kissing and everyone cheering, then we leave this scene and go to the tower but the crimson king has arrived at the entrance to the field of roses and in his hand is one of rolands guns perhaps the gun thrown away by detta walker in a certain trash can. He thinks he has finally figured how to enter the tower but unfortunately he is attacked by a huge bear he is one of the 12 guardians the crimson king turns into a spider and starts to quickly run away only to find himself pursued by all the guardians but the crimson king escapes into a cave where he gets away, accept its not a cave at all but the mouth of a giant turtle the guardian, and the crimson king was his lunch. The End and that's how the story really ends, because Stephen himself said this is not his story he was merely channeling the tale but he could no longer here the music but I have finally set things straight so Stephen you need to write a wrong how could you ever do that to Roland you got lazy and forgot the face of your father, this is not your story but I have now set things right so fix it, or I will Misery your ass.

[pathoftheturtle]

Meh.

[fernandito]

[Ricky]

What the...

[EvaH]

[blavigne]

hmmmmmmmmm.............

[IrishEyes]

Oh.. my..

[klio]

And then he wakes up...

[alinda]

I liked the one Sai King wrote better HA!

[wisemo]

This is the true ending, I have solved the riddle. This solves the pardox of Rolands loop and gives him redemption since Old Roland finally gets to go to the clearing accomplishing his true goal to somehow restoring Gilead, young Roland get's to save Gilead marry Susan and never Pursue the tower, and the threats to the tower are elimated being Martin and the Crimson King, as well as john Farson. This ending in a word is perfect. How did I solve this riddle because I was chosen by the power of 19, being my birthday is 7/19/1981 7 being the number of books in the dark tower 19 being 19 and 1981 also of course ads up to what 19. Long days and pleasent nights I can finally be at peace knowing Roland has found his god bless him and that is the truth.

[kluker]

^^
Says it all

[LadyHitchhiker]

I'm sorry couldn't even get through it.

When people don't put paragraph breaks my adhd kills the story for me.

[Yaksha]

Epic Fail

[RainInSpain]

Eeek...

[Letti]

...a parrot named david squaking beans beans...

You guys might not have liked it that much but at this part I did laugh out loudly.

[Brice]

Letti, I laughed there and umm.. other places.

^^^this

[Letti]

Letti, I laughed there and umm.. other places.

[/QUOTE]

Oh, I am really happy I wasn't the only one who appreciated that kind of humour.

[Claude Clay]

though internally flawed, the American version of Is There Life On Mars ends in a manner magnifico.

i list DT amongst the finest of sci-fi stories [Dune, Stranger in a Strange Land, SW's #3, RiverWorld and Rama being some others]
but---the ending falls very flat. its as if SK grew tired/bored and or exasperated with Roland and felt he needed to be punished--
I will kill all your friends and make you do it again. and again, just so i can stop writing about it!!

[pathoftheturtle]

After Jake & Roland save his life, King decides to write all of the remaining volumes at once. He works hard, and finally gets it all out, except for the final scene. He's about to start on Roland's approach to the Tower when his hard drive crashes. This is so depressing that he starts drinking again, and the whole world comes to an end after all.

[pixiedark76]

Roland gets to the top of the tower and then he wakes up. He is strapped down in a bed, he is in an insane asylum. He wakes up screaming the names of his fallen friends and then starts yelling about the desert and the tower. There is a doctor saying, "He needs more lithium give him another injection." The doctor looks just like Randall Flagg! Then the doctor says, "He might actually need his shock therapy treatments increased also."
Two orderlies hold him down and they are Cuthbert and Allen! Roland says," You guys are gunslingers." the orderlies just crack up laughing!
It turns out The Dark Tower Series was the product of an insane Ronald's delusions and dreams.

[Letti]

After Jake & Roland save his life, King decides to write all of the remaining volumes at once. He works hard, and finally gets it all out, except for the final scene. He's about to start on Roland's approach to the Tower when his hard drive crashes. This is so depressing that he starts drinking again, and the whole world comes to an end after all.

It's so so horrible. I mean good. I mean horrible.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Uhhhhhhhhh why is this thread not still active?!?!?!?

Here's one:

Roland goes through the door, and he finds himself in a salon. They give him a makeover and he joins the cast of "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy".

[costanza]

Whole different kind of bumhugging going on in that story line.

[Adumbros]

Roland opens the door and finds himself in Narnia, where a very pissed-off White Queen is hunting for Aslan, who is in turn raging through the ages of literature against Gan for impersonating him; meanwhile Gandalf is filing a libel suit against the White Queen for plagiarizing his not-so-original character, and Clint Eastwood (portrayed by none other than Michael J. Fox) is itching for a cage match with Roland, the winner to be deemed the archsupremacist of all gunslingerdom...except here in limbo, there are no guns, and bullets can only be fired out the anus, and this only if first consumed orally in a bowl of refried beans.