Daaayyyym!
Tried to drown a goldfish by putting cement weights on its fins.
Daaayyyym!
Tried to drown a goldfish by putting cement weights on its fins.
Have you heard of people with short fuses? Well, I have no fuse at all, and there's a thousand could testify to it if I hadn't stilled their tongues for good.
You can't ignore my girth.Originally Posted by LadyHitchhiker
That little bastard had it coming, always kissing at me through the glass.
Keeps calling everyone he meets Sven, just hoping to meet a Nordic person.
So far all I've met is an Eght.
Knows what happens if you put too much bacon grease on your arm while riding an elderly cow through New Jersey.
Have you heard of people with short fuses? Well, I have no fuse at all, and there's a thousand could testify to it if I hadn't stilled their tongues for good.
You can't ignore my girth.
Hoo boy, I'm not welcome back there anytime soon. And I don't think Daisy's speaking to me anymore either!
Has been banned from every movie theatre in their state, for standing up 5 minutes before the movie finishes and shouting out the ending.
It's alright, there are still other theatres in other states to conquer.
Wouldn't touch The Grinch with a 39 and a half foot pole.
Can you blame me, he is colored puke green!!!
Wants to run and run and run and run and.....
"See the TURTLE of enormous girth,
On his shell he holds the earth.
If you want to run and play,
Come along the BEAM today."
NFA JJG 42-95
...And if they catch me in the backseat trying to pick her locks, They'll send me back to mother in a cardboard box.
Has the Eye of the Tiger, but is lacking the thrill of the fight.
"Help me out here
All my words are falling short
And there's so much I want to say"
I just don't see a point in rising up to the challenge of my rivals.
Doesn't think it's sad that I didn't have to read the lyrics to write the above sentence.
Because I am in the same boat as you.
Sunk the Titantic with their teeth.
"Help me out here
All my words are falling short
And there's so much I want to say"
That's the last luxury liner that'll dare to cross me!
Sold their soul to the devil for a pack of Winterfresh gum.
Hey, at least my breath smells good now.
Likes to wear a Superman costume on a lazy Sunday afternoon.
Because even when I'm lazy, the costume makes everything I do a superhuman feat.
Has superhuman feet.
Don't believe me? Watch what happens when I kick you in the crotch!
Was given a plaque for being kicked in the crotch more times than anyone else.
Have you heard of people with short fuses? Well, I have no fuse at all, and there's a thousand could testify to it if I hadn't stilled their tongues for good.
You can't ignore my girth.
And when they gave it to me, I held it in front of my crotch for protection.
Runs with scissors.
I used to, but I've tried to avoid running ever since I lost both eyes.
Sneaks powdered sugar and flour into rehab centers, and gives them to addicts.
Have you heard of people with short fuses? Well, I have no fuse at all, and there's a thousand could testify to it if I hadn't stilled their tongues for good.
You can't ignore my girth.
Well, at least I'm not selling them to them.
Wants to be a giraffe astronaut when they grow up.
Hey, for a giraffe it won't take as long to get there.
Ran a restaraunt, but didn't make lots of money off the salad bar, which was just a steel bar and some lettuce.
Have you heard of people with short fuses? Well, I have no fuse at all, and there's a thousand could testify to it if I hadn't stilled their tongues for good.
You can't ignore my girth.
Wait...what was it supposed to be, exactly?
Wears a giant tortoise shell on their back.
"Help me out here
All my words are falling short
And there's so much I want to say"
Jeez, we threw in free croutons on a Sunday!
Sets traps for the pizza delivery guy in the hope that one day he will be late and they will obtain the elusive free pizza!
Little bastard has avoided all of them thus far...Time for Plan # 45822B!!
Puts mustard on their pizza.
It goes well with the relish and peppermint.
Drinks ketchup by the gallon.
"Help me out here
All my words are falling short
And there's so much I want to say"
(actually, this isn't too far from the truth, I put ketchup on virtually everything)
I love the taste of vinegar in the mornin'!
Always wears a black sock on his/her left foot and a white sock on his/her right foot.
When I'm really feeling crazy, I switch the white sock for a light gray. Hoo boy, those are wild times!
Enjoys pop up ads.
Have you heard of people with short fuses? Well, I have no fuse at all, and there's a thousand could testify to it if I hadn't stilled their tongues for good.
You can't ignore my girth.
I even save them onto my desktop!
Took their computer to the doctor when it got a virus.
"Help me out here
All my words are falling short
And there's so much I want to say"
Well, pouring cough syrup into the hard drive didn't work, so...
Regulary interrupts the weddings of strangers when the minister asks if anyone has any reason as to why these people should not be married.
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
