This is the Worst Movie Ever.....Tribute

[John Blaze]

Ok, there's tons of shitty movies out there. But once in a while you get trailers and previews for what looks like it's going to be the most amazing movie ever, you see the commercial that has those cheesy reviewer quotes like "most innovative film since house of flying daggers" and then you watch it.

It's shit.

That's what I experienced just recently. The movie was Quentin Tarantino's The Protector.

So I thought, wow, looks like awesome martial arts, it's a tarantino film, and the reviews are good. I should rent it, right? Wrong, bitch.

If you've ever seen this movie, you know what I'm talking about. Besides never fully explaining transitions, you find out it's all about an elephant. This dude kills a gazillion people, over a stolen elephant. Well, cultures, sacred crows of India, and all that. But it's not just that. The movie just blows.

So go ahead, here's a thread to rant about, give us your take of the worst movie ever!

[ZoNeSeeK]

Swept Away.

Its basically become a cult classic because its so fucking poor. Madonna plays some idiot that ends up on some boat and then on some island and breaks into song and its actually pretty funny.

[John Blaze]

Swept Away.

Its basically become a cult classic because its so fucking poor. Madonna plays some idiot that ends up on some boat and then on some island and breaks into song and its actually pretty funny.

I don't remember her singing on the Island? I don't remember her singing at all.... but at least that movie made sense.

[Ruthful]

Swept Away.

Its basically become a cult classic because its so fucking poor. Madonna plays some idiot that ends up on some boat and then on some island and breaks into song and its actually pretty funny.

You need to watch the original (real) version of that film.

[To The Dark Tower Came]

Now are we talking more modern movies? Or ANY movie ever made? Because any fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000 would heap a massively long list of movies on you that would make your eyes and ear bleed.

[towerguard]

Well, I don't know if Good Burger is a "bad" movie, but I know I might be the only one I know who loves it as much as I do. I usually make a reference to it at least once a day on average.

[Bethany]

Well, I don't know if Good Burger is a "bad" movie, but I know I might be the only one I know who loves it as much as I do. I usually make a reference to it at least once a day on average.

I'll introduce you to my 9 year old and then you will.


The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover is the most hideous movie I have ever seen. To quote Bart Simpson "I didn't think it was possible but this both sucks and blows." All of the ads painted this picture as a naughty, erotic romp--which is exactly what any 17 year old wants to go see when on vacation with no parental supervision. But what I got was bizarre statements through scene colors, a singing newsboy and a cannibal.

[towerguard]

I'll introduce you to my 9 year old and then you will.

Not sure if this is good or bad.

[ErinPatricia]

Well, I don't know if Good Burger is a "bad" movie, but I know I might be the only one I know who loves it as much as I do. I usually make a reference to it at least once a day on average.

"I'm grape nose boy! Bloobity bloobity bloobity bloobity"


i freaking love that movie.

[Erin]

I really didn't like Beastmaster at all when I saw it recently. I did like the ferret main characters though.

[OchrisO]

I really didn't like Beastmaster at all when I saw it recently. I did like the ferret main characters though.

Beastmaster is a classic.

[Jean]

I hope everybody has seen Wag The Dog

(I don't mean this is the Worst Movie Ever, - I love it)

Well, there are a few movies which, although liked by many, look to me exactly like what the main characters of Wag The Dog would make if called upon:

Thelma & Louise

Stepmom

Dead Man Walkling

Pay It Forward

[Matt]

I may get torn apart for this but I thought "American Beauty" was horrible. It won best picture over the Green Mile that year

[Randall Flagg]

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
Pure drivel.

[OchrisO]

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
Pure drivel.

Seriously? I love that movie. It makes me feel horribly down, but I love it.

[Matt]

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
Pure drivel.

I totally agree but I don't mention it much because people seem to love thing.

and I am big on Kate Winslet too so its confusing.

[OchrisO]

The first Punisher movie that had Dolph Lundgren in it is pretty close to the top of my list of worst movies ever. I am not sure if it holds #1 though.

[Candice Dionysus]

Worst movie I ever saw?
Oh jeeze, in a "man this sucks, I'll never watch it again" way, or a "this is so bad I love it" way?

I'll assume the first one.

The worst movie I ever saw, I swear, musta been Hostel.
I mean that, I hated it.

[fernandito]

The worst movie I ever saw, I swear, musta been Hostel.
I mean that, I hated it.

<3

[Candice Dionysus]

<3

<33

[ArtherEld]

Worst movie I ever saw?
Oh jeeze, in a "man this sucks, I'll never watch it again" way, or a "this is so bad I love it" way?

I'll assume the first one.

The worst movie I ever saw, I swear, musta been Hostel.
I mean that, I hated it.

Dumbest choice I ever made: "Hostel sucked. Oh there's a sequel? Okay, hey, I'll watch it."

When the track record about sequels being worse than the first sticks with Hostel 2, I have no one to blame but myself. It was porn for psychos: best way to describe it.

[Woofer]

Worst movie I ever saw?
Oh jeeze, in a "man this sucks, I'll never watch it again" way, or a "this is so bad I love it" way?

I'll assume the first one.

The worst movie I ever saw, I swear, musta been Hostel.
I mean that, I hated it.

Dumbest choice I ever made: "Hostel sucked. Oh there's a sequel? Okay, hey, I'll watch it."

When the track record about sequels being worse than the first sticks with Hostel 2, I have no one to blame but myself. It was porn for psychos: best way to describe it.

I have to vehemently disagree. Hostel was porn for psychos; Hostel 2 was actually decent. In fact, IMO, Hostel is the crappier, soft-core riddled version of 2. Hostel spent the first half of the movie show nothing but gratuitous sex scenes. Hostel 2 had hardly any of those in comparison. Furthermore, Hostel 2 actually had some thought and character development in it, whereas Hostel had none. Hostel 2 had some semblance of a decent plot, despite it being based in the lamer plot of Hostel. In fact, when asked about Hostel, I just say skip it and go to the sequel.

As a fan of all types of horror/thrillers, I have to give this one paw up. It's not something I'd like to watch over and over, but would watch it again and I can't say that about the first.

Hated never watch again: Mulva: Zombie Ass-Kicker. I turned it off after 5-10 minutes.

One of the reviews at IMDB states the following:

She is so disgusting and unpleasant to look at that I swear my stomach actually began to churn! And that is not a compliment.

This is true - mostly because she eats like a feral child, brushes her teeth with chocolate syrup and cereal, and talks with her mouth full so that food crap is always being spit out. I think we made it to the tooth brushing scene and said "No way. Not worth the time."

I'll also go with Meet the Spartans as a follow up. That one I turned off about 30 seconds into the movie. TBH, I only even looked at it because it was free.

BTW, there is a sequel to Mulva called Mulva 2: Kill Teen Ape! I've never even attempted this one. Perhaps one day when the taste of the first Mulva is out of my mouth.

[ArtherEld]

"Species II". Or better known as "Live Action Hentai"

[OchrisO]

Oh wait, Freddy Got Fingered is definately higher on the list of worst movies ever than the original Punisher. I'm likely to keep one-uping my choices though.

[Rjeso]

The Pest.

It takes a lot to make me stop watching a movie, but I couldn't get through fifteen minutes of that flick.