Parodies

[LadyHitchhiker]

(Wild World Parody)
Now that I've lost everything to you
You say you wanna go through a door that's new
And it's breakin' my heart you're leavin'
Roland, I'm grievin'
But if you wanna leave, take good care
I hope you have a lot of nice things to wear
But then a lot of nice things turn bad out there

[Chorus:]
Oh, Roland, Roland, it's a wild world
It's hard to get by just upon a smile
Oh, Roland, Roland, it's a wild world
I'll always remember you like a dad, boy

You know I've seen a lot of what the tower can do
And it's breakin' my heart in two
Because I never wanna see you a sad boy
Don't be a bad boy
But if you wanna leave, take good care
I hope you make a lot of nice friends out there
But just remember there's a lot of bad and beware

[Chorus]

Roland, I love you
But if you wanna leave, take good care
I hope you make a lot of nice friends out there
But just remember there's a lot of bad and beware

[LadyHitchhiker]

To tune of sexyback

I'm bringin' Eddie back
Those lobstrosities won't know how to act
I see you've got a weapon behind your back
So come through the door and help pick up the slack

[Bridge]
Dirty Dude
You see these shackles, don't have to be so rude
Don't have to give me none of that attitude
It's just that when I'm messed up I talk real lewd
(take it to the chorus)

[Chorus]
Come here boy, go head be gone with it
Come on back, go head be gone with it
Jakey, bring Oy to me
Lemme see what you're working with
Gun at your hips
Make me smile
Go 'head child and get your holster on

I'm bringin' Eddie back
Them ganster fuckers don't know how to act
Ed let me make up for all the things you lack
Because I'm burning up I got to have astin fast

(Take it to the bridge)

Dirty Babe
You see these shackles baby I'm your slave
I'll let you whip me if I misbehave
It's just that no one makes me feel this way

(take it to the chorus)

Dirty Dude
You see these shackles, don't have to be so rude
Don't have to give me none of that attitude
It's just that when I'm messed up I talk real lewd
(take it to the chorus)

Come here boy, go head be gone with it
Come on back, go head be gone with it
Jakey, bring Oy to me
Lemme see what you're working with
Gun at your hips
Make me smile
Go 'head child and get your holster on

I'm bringin' Eddie back
Those lobstrosities won't know how to act
I see you've got a weapon behind your back
So come through the door and help pick up the slack

[LadyHitchhiker]

GIMME A LITTLE RESPECT PARODY
I try to discover
A little something to make my quest sweeter
Oh baby refrain from tearing me apart
I'm lost without you
I'll be forever blue
That you gimme no reason
You know you the work is already so hard

That you gimme no
That you gimme no
That you gimme no
That you gimme no

Tower, I hear you calling
Oh baby please give a little respect to me

And if I should falter
Would you open you arms out to me
We can go to the tower
And live at peace with our hearts
I'm so lost without you
I'll be forever blue
What religion or reason
Could drive a man to forsake his tower

Don't you tell me no
Don't you tell me no
Don't you tell me no
Don't you tell me no

Tower, I hear you calling
Oh baby please give a little respect to me

I'm so lost without you
I'll be forever blue
That you gimme no reason
You know I already work so hard

That you gimme no
That you gimme no
That you gimme no
That you gimme no

Tower, I hear you calling
Oh baby please give a little respect to me

Soul, I hear you calling
Oh baby please give a little respect to me

[LadyHitchhiker]

Parody of The World Is Not Enough

I know how to hurt
I know how to kill
I know what to torture
And what to reveal
I know when to talk
And I know when to push
No one ever died from wanting too much

Chorus:
This world is not enough
But it is such a perfect place to start, my love
And if you're strong enough
Together we find other worlds than these, my love

People like us
Learn how to survive
There's no point in living
If you can't ever fight
We know who we'll miss
And we know when to kill
If I can't have it all
Then nobody will

Chorus

I...I feel sick
I...I feel aware
I...I feel ready
And ka-tet prepare

Chorus

This world is not enough
This world is not enough

[LadyHitchhiker]

Denis Leary’s ASSHOLE parody...
Folks, Id like to sing a song about the Ka-tet's Dream
About me, about you
About the way our Ka-tet hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests
About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts
Maybe below the cockles,
Maybe in the sub cockle area,
Maybe in the liver, maybe in the kidneys,
Maybe even in the colon, we dont know

I'm just a regular Joe, with a regular job
I'm your average white, wild western knob
I like pistols and riddles and stories about war
I got an average castle, with some nice wenches and whores
My wife and my job, my mistress at the bar
My feet on my table, and a bad weedy cigar

But sometimes that just aint enough to keep a man like me interested
(oh no, no way, uh uh)
No I gotta go out on a quest at someone else's expense
(woah yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah)
I riddle really slow in the ultra fast lane
While the train that I'm riding is going insane

I'm an asshole (he's an asshole,what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (he's an asshole, such an asshole)

I rescue kids then I let them drop to their death
I kidnap a guy who'd much rather be doing meth
I'm an asshole (he's an asshole,what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (he's the worlds biggest asshole)

Sometimes I travel through unhandicapped spaces
While handicapped people make handicapped faces

I'm an asshole (he's an asshole,what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (he's a real fucking asshole)

Maybe I shouldnt be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe theyre right when they tell me Im wrong...
Nah

You know what Im gonna do
I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible
Hot pink, with whale skin hubcaps
And all leather cow interior
And big brown baby seal eyes for head lights (yeah)
And I’m gonna drive in that baby at 115 miles per hour
Gettin' 1 mile per gallon,
Sucking down filet o fish sandwiches from McDonalds
In the old fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers
And when Im done sucking down those tooterfish sandwiches
I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the underwear of Randall Flagg
And then Im gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side
And there aint a goddamn thing anybody can do about it
You know why, because weve got the gawd bombs, thats why
2 words, nuclear fucking weapons, OK?
Russia, Germany, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want
They can have a big democracy cakewalk
Right through the middle of Tiananmen Square
and it wont make a lick of difference
Because weve got the bombs, OK?
John Wayne's not dead, hes frozen, and as soon as we find a cure for cancer
Were gonna thaw out the duke and hes gonna be pretty pissed off
You know why,
Have you ever taken a cold shower, well multiply that by 15 million times
Thats how pissed off the dukes gonna be!
I'm gonna get the Duke, and Cuthbert, and Alain,
and Steve Martin, and Sam Peckinpah, and a case of whiskey,
and drive down to Gilead and say.....

(Hey! You know, you really are an asshole!)
Why don't you just shut up and sing the song, pal?
Im an asshole (hes an asshole.what an asshole)
Im an asshole (hes the worlds biggest asshole)

A-S-S-H-O-L-E
Everybody
A-S-S-H-O-L-E

I'm an asshole and I'm proud of it

[LadyHitchhiker]

To tune of any other world by Mika

In any other world
You could make a difference
But instead let myself fall
Into broken remnants

Smile like you mean it
And let yourself let go

'Cause it's all in the hands of bitter, bitter old Gan
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in
Take a bow, walk out west on a lonely lonely quest
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in
To the world you thought you lived in

I tried to walk alone
But lonely is so lonely, alone
So human as I am
I had to look over other fences

So I smiled and tried to mean it
And then tried to let go

'Cause it's all in the hands of bitter, bitter old Gan
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in
Take a bow, walk out west on a lonely lonely quest
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in
To the world you thought you lived in

'Cause it's all in the hands of a bitter, bitter old Gan
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in
Take a bow, play the part of a lonely lonely heart
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in
To the world you thought you lived in

Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in [x2]
Say goodbye

In any other world
You could make a difference

[Spoken]
"I never ever, I remember my story.
My face is no sad, but inside, I am dead."

[CyberGhostface]

Here's a song dedicated to the misunderstood Mordred Deschain who just wanted to be loved...

*ahem*

Spider-Shit, Spider-Shit,
Prince Mordred is throwing a fit
Spins a web, any size,
Wants to curl up and die.
Look Out!
Here comes the Spider-Shit.

Is he sick?
Listen bud,
He's squirting out chocolate mud.
He can't swing from a thread
Ro' shot him in the head.
Hey, there
There goes the Spider-Shit.

Don't let him give you a kiss.
More bitter than Simon Cowell
(King killed off Walter for this?)
He struggles to empty his bowels.

Spider-Shit, Spider-Shit
Mordred just took a spider-shit
Proper diets
He's ignored
In Hell, there's no reward.

His asshole can't open any wider
Whenever there's an emo spider
You'll find the Spider-Shit.

[Wuducynn]

Good parody Cyber! Well done.

[CyberGhostface]

Thanks.

[jayson]

Hilarious CyberGhostFace! One day when I have the time I want to try to write and illustrate a pseudo-children's book about Mordred entitled "Mordred Has Two Daddy's"

[Storyslinger]

Awesome Cyber

[LadyHitchhiker]

Yay!!!!! More!!!!

[LadyHitchhiker]

(I especially like ones about Mordred... I agree. He was very misunderstood.)

[LadyHitchhiker]

BRAND NEW PARODY THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH TOWER... just came up with it in the shower in Georgia. A good shower is inspirational.. almost a religious experience after having cold water showers for over a year.... (when time permits I will bring a lot of my oldie non-tower parodies in here for those who are interested)

Doncha

Oh, baby dolls

I know you like me (I know you like me)
I know you do (I know you do)
Thats why whenever I come around she pukes all over you
And I know you want it (I know you want it)
It's easy to see (it's easy to see)
And you try not to mind
when she stands sideways
she disapears just like 2-d

[Chorus]
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was fat like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend would eat like me
Dont cha, dont cha , baby
Dont cha wish your girlfriend ate it raw like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend had buns like me
Dont cha, dont cha

Eat banana peelings (eat banana peelings )
Make you a scone (make you a scone)
But if this ain't love
It just aint enough to leave a hungry home
Let's keep it friendly (let's keep it friendly)
I know she's lighter than air (lighter than air)
See, I dont care
But I know my food she won't want to share

[Chorus]
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was fat like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend would eat like me
Dont cha, dont cha , baby
Dont cha wish your girlfriend ate it raw like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend had buns like me
Dont cha, dont cha

I know food's on your mind
I know we'll have a good time
I'm your friend
I'm fun
And I'm fine
I aint lying
Look at me, you aint blind [2x]

See, I know she loves you (I know she loves you)
I understand (I understand)
I'd probably be just as crazy about you
If you ate from my oven
Maybe at lunchtime (maybe next lunchtime)
Possibly (possibly)
Until then, Oh friend your secret is safe with me

[Chorus]
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was fat like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend could eat like me
Dont cha, dont cha
Dont cha wish your girlfriend ate it all like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend wouldn't throw up, like me
Dont cha, dont cha



**this was to make fun of all the celebrities who are deliberately starving themselves to death for no reason. I would love to do a music video that would incorporate normal looking people, and maybe larger looking people dancing around and then stick figures would represent the girlfriend..

[LadyHitchhiker]

A song I wrote about dad parodizing a song by Cat Stevens

I go with the nicest ones to shop at the Econo store
M&ms, Orville Redenbacher and I know just what they're all for
I've organized my busy life in a way I've never done before
Even visit my grandkids now

but I've got no time for silly chitter chatter
I'm on my way
cuz while my blood's still warm and my mind hasn't shattered
I'm hoping to stay
because I've got a thing about seeing my children grow old

I just can't wait to walk with mom and you
watching star trek, with the kids in the tv room
I'll see my feet upon that street if it's the last thing that I do
even sweep the roads to be there

but I've got no time for silly chitter chatter
I'm on my way
cuz while my blood's still warm and my mind hasn't shattered
I'm hoping to stay
because I've got a thing about seeing my children grow old

I'll see my feet upon that street if its the last thing that i do
Even sweep the roads to be there

but I've got no time for silly chitter chatter
I'm on my way
cuz while my blood's still warm and my mind hasn't shattered
I'm hoping to stay
because I've got a thing about seeing my children grow old

[LadyHitchhiker]

*lol at self* I just realized I had two of these threads going on, so if anyone has the time, could you merge this thread with Poetry, Parodies, Songs, etc.,.? It would be greatly appreciated... Thankye big big.. and I will continue to as time permits add many more parodies...

[LadyHitchhiker]

Sooner Or Later
( The Grass Roots )

Sooner or later, Los, is gonna get ya
Sooner or later, tet, you've got to give in
Sooner or later, Los is gonna let ya
Sooner or later, Los is gonna win

Its just a matter of time
Before you lose all your minds
To give to Los what you've been hiding
Its just a question of when
I've told you time and again
I'll get to Los what you've been denying

Sooner or later, Los, is gonna get ya
Sooner or later, tet, you've got to give in
Sooner or later, Los is gonna let ya
Sooner or later, Los is gonna win

You say you'll never be mine
But darling, there'll come a time
I'll taste all that love that you've been hiding
Its just a question of time
Before you make up your mind
And give all that love you've been denying

You've been looking for Los
In all the wrong places
You've been looking for Los
All the wrong faces
Gotta get ya girl
Life's an illusion
Gonna save your heart
From all this confusion

Sooner or later, Los, is gonna get ya
Sooner or later, tet, you've got to give in
Sooner or later, Los is gonna let ya
Sooner or later, Los is gonna win
Los is gonna win

Its just a matter of time
Before you lose all your minds
To give to Los what you've been hiding
Its just a question of when
I've told you time and again
I'll get to Los what you've been denying

Sooner or later, Los, is gonna get ya
Sooner or later, tet, you've got to give in
Sooner or later, Los is gonna let ya
Sooner or later, Los is gonna win

[jayson]

ok, i can admit i love the song you based that one on Lady Hitchhiker. I like your version as well! very funny

[LadyHitchhiker]

(Pretty choppy maybe work on it more later)
Found discord together
The initials R and -F
It's who I am, it's what I do
And I was gonna lay it down for you
I try to focus my attention
But I feel so A-D-D
I need some help, some inspiration
(But it's not coming easily)
Whoah oh...

Trying to find the magic
(Door)
Trying to write a classic
(Or six more)
Don't you know, don't you know, don't you know?
(Whoah)
Waste-bin full of paper
Clever rhymes , I will see you later

These worlds are my own
Me and mine go
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
There's no other way
To better say
I love you, I love you...

Read some King, Koontz, and Keats
Recited it over Zz tops' beat
I'm having trouble finding what I need
With dead poets, and gan's drum machines
you know I had some junkies booked
But I couldn't find my perfect nook
Now you've gone and raised the bar right up
Nothing I write is ever good enough

These worlds are my own
Me and mine go
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
There's no other way
To better say
I love you, I love you...

These wolrds are my own
Me and mine go
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
There's no other way
To better say
I love you, I love you...

I'm getting off my stage
The curtains pull away
No magic door to hide behind
The naked boy exposed
Whoah.. oh.. oh.. oh.. whoah.. oh.. oh..

Trying to find the magic
(Door)
Trying to write a classic
(Or six more)
Don't you know, don't you know, don't you know?
(Whoah)
Waste-bin full of paper
Clever rhymes , I will see you later

These words are my own
From my heart flow
(Don't you know)
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
There's no other way
To better say
I love you I love you

These worlds are my own
Me and mine go
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
There's no other way
To better say
I love you, I love you...

These worlds are my own
Me and mine go
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
There's no other way
To better say
I love you, I love you...
I can't find a better way

And that's all I got to say
I love you, is that okay...?

[LadyHitchhiker]

ok, i can admit i love the song you based that one on Lady Hitchhiker. I like your version as well! very funny

Yaaaaaaaaay! Good mind!

[LadyHitchhiker]

(shakira's endless story parody -- not necessarily dark tower related)

In a thong
I write down what people think is odd
Don't get me wrong cause
I think you're a gift from God
But you own the place
Where all my thoughts go hiding
Somewhere you hide my clothes
Later I'll find them

Underneath Your Clothes
There's a naked body
There's the man I chose
He's my territory
And all the things I deserve
For being such a good girl honey

Because of you
I'd found many new ways to lie
Because of you
I'm running out of reasons to cry
When the friends are gone
When the party's over
We will still belong to each other

Underneath Your Clothes
There's a naked body
There's the man I chose
He's my territory
And all the things I deserve
For being such a good girl honey

I love you more than I ever did plan it
Movin' talkin' walkin' breathing
You know I'm nude
Oh baby it's so funny
You almost don't believe it
As every voice is hanging from the silence
I'm nude hanging from the ceiling
Like a lady tired of her manners
I'm tied up to this feeling

Underneath Your Clothes
There's a naked body
There's the man I chose
For when I'm horny
And all the things I deserve
For being such a good girl honey

[LadyHitchhiker]

(Weird Al's the Night Santa Went Crazy parody)

Down in o' keystone in the city full of noise
were the Gilead girls and the Gilead boys
When the bitch busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death
Had a rifle in her hands and cheap whiskey on her breath
From her fro to her wheels she was covered with ammo
Like a big black drunk disabled negro Rambo
And she smiled as she said with a twinkle in her eye,
"Merry Christmas to all - now you're all gonna die!"

The night S'zannah went crazy
The night Detta went insane
Realized she'd been gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in her brain

Well, keystone is gone now, she decided to bomb it
Everywhere you'll find pieces of new yorker vomit
And she tied up her helpers and she held the kids hostage
And she ground up poor Mordred into spider sausage
She got Father Callahan with an old German Luger
And she slashed up Randall just like Freddy Krueger
And she picked up a flamethrower and she barbequed Crimson
And she took a big bite and said, "The king tastes like chicken!"

The night S'zanna went crazy
The night Mrs. Dean went just nuts
Now you can't hardly walk through a magic door now
Without steppin' in someone's guts

There's the National Guard and the F.B.I.
There's a van from the Eyewitness News
And helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky
And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risin'
And everyone's dyin' to know, Susannah, why?
Well well well well well well
You used to be such a funny gal

Yes, Virginia, now Susannah's doin' time
In a federal prison for her infamous crime
Hey, little friend, now don't you cry no more tears
She'll be out with good behavior in 700 more years
But now Roland's in therapy and Oy he's still nervous
And Jake's got a job now working for the postal service
And they say Eddie Dean, he's on the phone every night
With his lawyer negotiating the movie rights

They're talkin' bout - the night S'zanna went crazy
The night Susannah Dean flipped
Broke her back for a tower and looky
Sounds to me like she was tired of gettin' gypped

Wo, the night S'zanna went crazy
The night Mz Dean went insane
Realized she's gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in her brain
Wo, something finally must have snapped in her brain
Tell ya, something finally must have snapped... in her brain

[LadyHitchhiker]

TINA TURNER LYRICS

"What's Love Got To Do With It"

You must understand
That man dressed in red
Makes my pulse react
And it's only the thrill
of magic coming from him
Opposites attract

It's physical
Only magical
You must try to ignore
That it means more than that

[Chorus]
Oh whats Los got to do, got to do with it
What's Los but the second man in motion
What's Los got to do, got to do with it
Who needs a heart
When a heart can be broken

It may seem to you
That I'm acting confused
When you're close to me
If I stand here amazed
I've read it someplace
I've got cause to be

There's a name for it
There's a place you fit
But whatever the reason
You do it for me

[Chorus]

I've been thinking of a new direction
But I have to say
I've been carrying my own protection
It scares me to feel this way

Whats Los got to do, got to do with it
What's Los but the second man in motion
What's Los got to do, got to do with it
Who needs a heart
When a heart can be broken

[LadyHitchhiker]

Okay here was a stupidly easy one to do with not a lot of imagination but it was so hysterical I had to put it in here:

What Is Love Lyrics


What is Los
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
Oh, baby don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

What is Los
Yeah

Oh, I feel you when you're not there
I give you my love, but and hope you care
So what is red and what is white
Gimme a sign

What is Los
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is Los
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh
Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh

Oh, I don't know, what can I do
What else can I say, it's up to you
I know we're one, just me and you
I can't go on

What is Los
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is Los
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh
Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh

What is Los, oooh, oooh, oooh
What is Los, oooh, oooh, oooh

What is Los
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

Don't hurt me
Don't hurt me

I want no other, no other lover
This is all lifes,all time
When we are together, I need you forever
Is it Los

What is Los
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is Los
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more (oooh, oooh)

What is Los
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is Los
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more (oooh, oooh)

What is Los?

[LadyHitchhiker]

ODE TO FRUNOBULAX IN KEY OF JUDE BY BEATLES (because I miss you... one of my best freends in all worlds)
Hey, Frune, don't feel so bad
You take my sad songs and make them better
Remember to let me into your heart
Then you can start to feel some better

Hey, Frune, don't be afraid
You were made to go out and record
The minute you sing from what's within
Then you begin to make it better.

And any time you feel the pain, hey, Frune, refrain
Don't carry the worlds upon your shoulders
Well don't you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder

Hey, Frune! Don't you get down
You will find her and you will get her
Remember, to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better.

So let it out and let it in, hey, Frune, begin
You're waiting for someone to perform with
And don't you know that it's just you, hey, Jude,
You'll do, your backup is right beside your shoulder

Hey, Frune, don't feel so bad
You take my sad songs and make them better
Remember to let me into your heart
Then you can start to feel some better