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Thread: Funny But True

  1. #51
    Constant Reader Darkthoughts has a spectacular aura about Darkthoughts has a spectacular aura about Darkthoughts has a spectacular aura about Darkthoughts's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by ZoNeSeeK View Post
    I don't eat the part of the crust on a piece of toast or sandwich that ive been holding because its the handle.
    My husband is the same!! You weirdos

  2. #52
    Life is beautiful LadyHitchhiker has a spectacular aura about LadyHitchhiker has a spectacular aura about LadyHitchhiker's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jon View Post
    I like to eat green beans raw.
    Me oo!

    Oh! I don't like to eat pizza or cheerios with silverware. Cheerios taste weird with that metal piece in your mouth... if I could eat with a wooden spoon I probably would but I don't like the metal.

  3. #53
    Traveler Raron is on a distinguished road Raron's Avatar

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    when I was a kid I saw this movie about killer pirannas in a lake, in it one leaped from the water and took out a guys throat. For some reason I got it into my head the fish could travel through the toilet so I was scared when I sat down to poop that a piranna would latch onto my butt.

  4. #54
    Caution: eye irritant Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon's Avatar

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    Several hours before class or work I take my pants and coat off the hanger, stitch the belt through the pants' loops, put my wallet in the back pocket, Pocket change and my car keys in a front pocket and hang my pants back up. Then I put my cell, a fresh pack of smokes and a lighter in my coat's breast pocket. Then I take my brief case to the car.
    All that's left of what we were is what we have become.

  5. #55
    Life is beautiful LadyHitchhiker has a spectacular aura about LadyHitchhiker has a spectacular aura about LadyHitchhiker's Avatar

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    So you're ready for anything?

  6. #56
    Caution: eye irritant Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon has a reputation beyond repute Jon's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by LadyHitchhiker View Post
    So you're ready for anything?

    ANYTHING! Bring it baby!



    All that's left of what we were is what we have become.

  7. #57
    Life is beautiful LadyHitchhiker has a spectacular aura about LadyHitchhiker has a spectacular aura about LadyHitchhiker's Avatar

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    My father used to tell us when we went innertubing that we didn't need to let our feet dangle into the water because gators would eat them. Keep in mind that I live in the upper peninsula of Michigan. But it worked... I was scared to let my toes dangle into the water...

    I hated when I fell off the inner tube...

  8. #58
    Life is beautiful LadyHitchhiker has a spectacular aura about LadyHitchhiker has a spectacular aura about LadyHitchhiker's Avatar

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    I like to crank up "white and nerdy" or "Amish paradise" by weird al when I'm driving around acting tough and acting like I'm listening to gangster rap.

  9. #59
    Life is beautiful LadyHitchhiker has a spectacular aura about LadyHitchhiker has a spectacular aura about LadyHitchhiker's Avatar

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    I don't wear white very often because it shows off how yellow my teeth are..

  10. #60
    Robot Girlystevedave has much to be proud of Girlystevedave has much to be proud of Girlystevedave has much to be proud of Girlystevedave has much to be proud of Girlystevedave has much to be proud of Girlystevedave has much to be proud of Girlystevedave has much to be proud of Girlystevedave has much to be proud of Girlystevedave has much to be proud of Girlystevedave's Avatar

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    I can't sleep without having my arm wrapped around a pillow....even if that means no pillow under my head.
    And I have to have a fan turned on for noise.

  11. #61
    Life is beautiful LadyHitchhiker has a spectacular aura about LadyHitchhiker has a spectacular aura about LadyHitchhiker's Avatar

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    I have to have a humidifier or a fan on for noise and I have to watch tv to fall asleep...

  12. #62
    Life is beautiful LadyHitchhiker has a spectacular aura about LadyHitchhiker has a spectacular aura about LadyHitchhiker's Avatar

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    One of my two workplaces reeks of pigeon poop right now...

  13. #63
    Life is beautiful LadyHitchhiker has a spectacular aura about LadyHitchhiker has a spectacular aura about LadyHitchhiker's Avatar

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    My coworker thinks Bigfoot is British (like speaks with the British accent and wears a monocole)..

  14. #64
    Life is beautiful LadyHitchhiker has a spectacular aura about LadyHitchhiker has a spectacular aura about LadyHitchhiker's Avatar

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    i tried my cat's pouched food this morning;

    it's chicken feast..

    it tastes EXACTLY like canned chicken!!

  15. #65
    Satanic Mechanic B Rag will become famous soon enough B Rag's Avatar

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    Well, I don't know if this is funny or not, but... I can't eat Tootsie Roll Pops, they make my mouth bleed. I think it's because of something else strange: The teeth between my canine and front teeth used to be directly behind my front teeth, about a half an inch back, so I had them pulled. Now the roof of my mouth gets sore when I have a tootsie roll pop, and one time it actually started to bleed a bit.
    Have you heard of people with short fuses? Well, I have no fuse at all, and there's a thousand could testify to it if I hadn't stilled their tongues for good.

    Quote Originally Posted by LadyHitchhiker
    my itty bitty boy parts need the movie to grow
    You can't ignore my girth.

  16. #66
    Psychopath William50 is on a distinguished road William50's Avatar

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    I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active - not more happy - nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago. - Edgar Allan Poe

    Bunch together a group of people deliberately chosen for strong religious feelings, and you have a practical guarantee of dark morbidities expressed in crime, perversion, and insanity. - H.P. Lovecraft

  17. #67
    Banned The Lady of Shadows is on a distinguished road

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    Quote Originally Posted by William50 View Post

  18. #68
    Satanic Mechanic B Rag will become famous soon enough B Rag's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jon View Post
    Several hours before class or work I take my pants and coat off the hanger, stitch the belt through the pants' loops, put my wallet in the back pocket, Pocket change and my car keys in a front pocket and hang my pants back up. Then I put my cell, a fresh pack of smokes and a lighter in my coat's breast pocket. Then I take my brief case to the car.
    Wait, does that mean your not wearing pants or a coat when you go out to the car?
    Have you heard of people with short fuses? Well, I have no fuse at all, and there's a thousand could testify to it if I hadn't stilled their tongues for good.

    Quote Originally Posted by LadyHitchhiker
    my itty bitty boy parts need the movie to grow
    You can't ignore my girth.

  19. #69
    Roont Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice's Avatar

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    The Awesomest fled across the desert and The Awesomer followed.

    If you rescue me
    I’ll be your friend forever


    I wish that I could write fiction, but that seems almost an impossibility. -howard phillips lovecraft (1915)



  20. #70
    - razz is a jewel in the rough razz is a jewel in the rough razz is a jewel in the rough razz is a jewel in the rough

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    i don't trusy gas lawnmowers

  21. #71
    - razz is a jewel in the rough razz is a jewel in the rough razz is a jewel in the rough razz is a jewel in the rough

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    i don't trusy gas lawnmowers

  22. #72
    Psychopath William50 is on a distinguished road William50's Avatar

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    I like gum better after it has been chewed for long time. I like it to have no flavor.
    I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active - not more happy - nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago. - Edgar Allan Poe

    Bunch together a group of people deliberately chosen for strong religious feelings, and you have a practical guarantee of dark morbidities expressed in crime, perversion, and insanity. - H.P. Lovecraft

  23. #73
    - razz is a jewel in the rough razz is a jewel in the rough razz is a jewel in the rough razz is a jewel in the rough

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    like gum between tastless, and flavored. so when you chew you get just a hint. if they could get it to stay like that, i'd die happy. not really. i also have this aversion to double posts.

  24. #74
    Soldier Boy Odetta is a jewel in the rough Odetta is a jewel in the rough Odetta is a jewel in the rough Odetta is a jewel in the rough Odetta's Avatar

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    when I go to bed, once the light is off I literally jump into bed because I am afraid something will grab my feet otherwise.
    Buddy, you think you look strong? You’re wearing a cape.

  25. #75
    Psychopath William50 is on a distinguished road William50's Avatar

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    I used to do that until my bed's legs broke. Now my bed is on the floor with no space between.
    I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active - not more happy - nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago. - Edgar Allan Poe

    Bunch together a group of people deliberately chosen for strong religious feelings, and you have a practical guarantee of dark morbidities expressed in crime, perversion, and insanity. - H.P. Lovecraft

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