Choose Your Own Adventure Game

[CyberGhostface]

Page 177.

You decide the abandoned asylum, as spooky as it may be, is a more suitable place for shelter. After all, the less populated a place is the less zombies it would probably attract.

You park the car and stare at the dilapatated old building. It looks like something out of a horror film. Over the fence the letters spell out

WALL CE J HNSON A SY UM FOR THE CR MINA LY INS NE

"Sounds creepy." One of the clowns says. After Freddy's...death, there are now five clowns including Bubba. The one who just spoke is tall and skinny with tufts of red hair on the sides of his head.

"Its not like there's anyone still in there." Your mother says. "And we're safe from the zombies for the time being."

In the distance, you hear a moan.

"Tell me that's the wind." You say.

"Lets not stay here and find out." Bubba says. You all agree and run up the long spiral that leads to the ruins of the Wallace Johnson Asylum for the Criminally Insane.

"Hellooo?" Stephen King calls out as he opens the door. The interiors are cold and empty, and his voice echos.

As the last clown enters the room, you bolt the door.

"Helloooo..." What you assume to be King's voice echoes back. Only it repeats itself a second time. And a third. This can't be good.

"Hellooooo?" King calls out again. Before you can hit him upside the head and tell him to shut the hell up, you see shadows coming down the hall.

The inmates are in charge of the asylum. Literally.

You guess that when the zombie outbreak occurred, the doctors fleed and left their patients inside. Which is all fine for them, but what are you going to do now?

The inmates are slowly walking towards your group. Their hair is unkempt, the eyes bloodshot and the mouths hanging open like deflated balloons.

"Don't make any sudden moves." You say.

"Gugggghhh!!!!!" One of the inmates screeches and runs toward your group. His straightjacket has come undone and his sleeves are flapping wildly. You realize what he's about to do a second before it happens.

He grabs a protesting Stephen King, slings him over his shoulder and runs back to the other maniacs who are now all hooting and hollering. Then they all run off down the hall.

"We've got to go." The tall clown from earlier says. "While they're occupied."

"We can't just leave King there!" You shout.

"Its too dangerous." Bubba says sadly. "We're easily outnumbered."

If you go to help Stephen King, turn to page 685.
If you decide to leave while its safe, turn to page 373.

EDIT: Top of the page! EEEEEEEE!!!!

[Daghain]

Page 685.

You can't leave King behind - he's written so many horror novels he may end up being the key to your very survival based on his knowledge alone. You break everyone into three groups and head off in search of King. You, unfortunately, got stuck with the reluctant Bubba.

You wander through the halls for the better part of an hour before you hear mumbling behind one of the closed doors. You slowly open the door and peek in, only to discover King is teaching the homicidal maniacs how to play Texas Hold 'em.

You enter the room and see King has clearly cleaned the inmates out of their stash of treasures - scalpels, paper clips, expired medication - he has a huge pile of dross in front of him.

"There you are!" You exclaim, "What the heck is going on here?"

"I've won it all!" King says, smiling, "And these fine men have offered to help us fight the zombies, if we want them."

You look around at the six crazies surrounding King at the makeshift poker table. Not one of them looks the least bit stable, but they all seem to think King is God, and that could definitely work to your advantage.

To throw your lot in with the crazies, go to page 976.

To leave them behind, go to page 843.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Page 976...

"Got any more crazies?" You ask, non-chalantly?

Stephen King looks at you with a big smile.

"Yes, let's go to maximum security..."

"And then the armory!" you suggest.

Stephen King looks at you. "We may not need the armory."

This kind of spooks you out.

"I'm hungry," your mom says.

To still go with SK to see the even crazier crazies, go to page 3.

to find something to eat, go to page 8.

[CyberGhostface]

Page 3

"Lead us to the maximum security," You say to one of the crazies."

Bubba shakes his head. "I don't think that's such a good idea."

"I'm hungry." Your mom repeats.

"Shut it, you." You say.

Stephen speaks to the crazies. One of them, a tall skinny man with long stringy hair and drool running down his lip nods and gestures for them to follow. You, your mom, Stephen King and the clowns follow the mental patients down a series of corridors.

"Here we are." One of them slurs. "Maximum security."

"Do you really think this will help?" You ask Stephen King.

"Can't be any worse than the zombies and vampires, ayuh." The writer says.

You can hear scraping against the door of the maximum security ward, and a high-pitched scream. You can't tell the gender of the screamer; its high, almost feminine but gravelly as well.

"Y'know..." King said. "I think I'm having second thoughts..." The inmates, either ignoring or not hearing him, open the door.

As soon as he does a large fat man in his underwear runs out. His underwear is stained with piss. He's holding a makeshift shiv in his hand.

"What the fuck--" Bubba the clown says when the maniac stabs him several times in the gut. When he finally pulls it out at last, there's a large spread of blood over his clown suit.

"You..." Bubba says before his eyes roll up and he falls flat on his face.

"EEEEEEEE!!!!!" The fat maniac with the piss-stained undies screeches. "YOU DON'T DARE MOCK ME! YOU DON'T DARE! EEEEEE!!!!" This time he heads toward Stephen King.

"NO!" You shout.

You don't see what happens. Another crazy has knocked you over, but all he does is sniff you. But you hear Stephen King scream.

One of the clowns grabs a discarded piece of wood and bashes it against the fat maniac's head. "This! Is! For! Bubba!"

"EEEE!!!" The fat man screeches in his unnaturally high voice. "WHAT'S THEE DOING? IT BURNS! EEEEEEEE!!!!!!" Then his voice mercifully dies down and he rolls over dead.

"Where's my glasses?" King is moaning. "I can't see. Someone get me my glasses..." You look and see his glasses lying on the floor. They're shattered and beyond any forseeable use. Not that King is going to be needing it anytime soon. His eyes are gone.

Crying, your mom rips off the sleeve of her shirt and wraps it around King's head.

"I think we've stayed in the asylum long enough." One of the clowns says. "Lets go."

"Are we going to bring the crazies with us?" You ask.

"Its too dangerous." Your mom says. "Look what he did to Bubba -- to Steve."

DO YOU BRING THE INMATES ALONG?

If so, turn to page 520.
If not, turn to page 391.

[Daghain]

Page 520.

You decide to take the crazies along. With King blind, you need all the eyes you can get.

You pile into the van with the remaining clowns, your mom, King, and seven criminally insane inmates.

You take off down the road, but only get about five miles before you run into a roadblock. Seems the zombie vampires have gotten smart.

You look back at the crazies you brought along. Good forethought on your part.

"All right, boys," You say, opening the sliding door, "They're all yours!"

The crazies bolt from the van and into the throng of zombie vampires at the roadblock. You slam the door shut.

"GO!" You holler at the clown driving the van.

The van flips a 180 and you take off the way you had come. About a mile down the road you come to a crossroads.

A sign at the corner points out where the roads go.

To your left is Las Vegas. To your right, Boulder.

To go to Las Vegas, turn to page 187.

To go to Boulder, turn to page 199.

[LadyHitchhiker]

To Boulder you go. For some reason a story in the back of your mind you can't remember tells you that Boulder is a good place.

On the way to Boulder, however, you come upon a pack of drooling wolves.

To try and tame the wolves and use them to hunt out food, go to page 93.

To try and go around them go to page 09.

To kill them for food, go to page 098.

[Jon]

page 98 kill them for food.

You don't have a gun but you've a spear. You must draw them in close for a good throw.

To don a sheep skin to attract them go to page 111.

To make dying rabbit sounds go to page. 110

To offer them money only to trick them go to page 117.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Page 117.

The wolves seem intelligent enough so you throw all your change and money at the wolves.

Out of nowhere swarms a flock of crows.

They appear to have been feasting on the dead and are not quite the same. They seem dangerous.

To go left to the foxhole, go to page 6567

to run to your right to the abandoned schoolhouse, go to page 4389.

[Daghain]

Page 4389.

You run like hell for the abandoned schoolhouse. Hey, the doors and windows appear to be intact, how bad can it be?

Once inside, you use several desks and chairs to barricade yourselves in.

Upon closer inspection, however, you discover the schoolhouse has its own tale to tell.

On the chalkboard are several cryptic messages, obviously scribbled hastily before the writers ran for their lives.

The three that stand out most to you are these:

"We ran for the Flatirons - there's safety in the mountains!"

"DON'T go to the Flatirons - go south to Wolf Creek Pass! If you get across it will snow in by January!"

"Don't go south! Cheyenne, Wyoming is only 1.5 hours away! NO ONE goes to Cheyenne!!! You'll be safe there!"

You look at these options. Hmm. The Flatirons are basically out your back door, but so are the zombies. And the wolves.

Wolf Creek Pass will get you on the west side of the state, and a lucky avalanche will stop anyone or anything from following you, but shit, it's only October. The big snow won't be around for 3 more months.

Cheyenne. Hmm. Crap town, but there's an Air Force base there. Air Force = weapons, right?

To go to the Flatirons and live in the wilderness in the mountains, go to page 1000.

To go through Wolf Creek Pass and hope for snow, go to page 1012.

To go to Cheyenne with the hope of finding weapons at the Air Force base, go to page 1919.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Page 1919.

You go to Cheyenne. You are hidden up on a hill with your unlikely group looking down at the big cavernous entrance in the side of a hill. Unfortunately, it is guarded by some pretty prestigious members of the military including: Jack O'Neil, Teal'c, Samantha Carter and Daniel Jackson. They have guns and are protecting the base. maybe this means no one is infected?!

To try and reason with the group that you should be allowed to enter the base, go to page 232.

To kill them, go to page 234.

To go to the Flatirons and live in the wilderness in the mountains, go to page 1000.

To go through Wolf Creek Pass and hope for snow, go to page 1012.

[Daghain]

Page 232.

"Hey there." You say to the ominous-looking guards at the gate, "We need your help. We have these zombies and wolves following us, and we're really in a bad way. As you see, we have the famous writer Stephen King with us, and he's been blinded. He could use some medical help. Also, we've all seen Wargames and would LOVE to know of Cheyenne Mountain really looks like it did in that movie. Could you guys let us in? Please?"

If the guards let you in, go to page 1212.

If the guards tell you to get lost, go to page 1121.

[Storyslinger]

Pg.1121

"Piss off!", the gaurds say in unison. They draw their weapons and make their intentions quite clear. You turn you back to them and face you party.

pg.65 You reach into you pocket for a special surprise for the gaurds

pg.7 You leave.

[B Rag]

(Whoops, I'll have to redo this later)

[Malficeus]

pg. 65 you start to reach into your pocket and one of the clowns start to realize what your going to do and speaks up

"Hell no you guys dont talk to me like that"

the clown starts to take off his wig and make-up and reveals a top notch haircut and stern face like that of a Marine with a scar on his face

"Gunnery Sergeant Highway of the USMC and i demand you to let us in before i have to go recon on your pathetic fly boy assess"

the gaurds realizing the danger of this Clint Eastwood look alike snap into position of attention and allow you and your ka-tet into the base.

You turn around once you get in and look around noticing a small horde is on the horizion and will be here soon

"hey kid either we can stand and fight em off or borrow one of those planes and get the hell outta Dodge.

To head to the armory turn to pg. 999
to go to one of the planes turn to pg.2000

[Daghain]

Page 999. You head for the armory. It's pretty well stocked, and besides, it's a bitch to get a plane in the air in the mountains, especially on short notice.

Woohoo! The armory rocks! Guns, grenades, night-vision masks - you name it, they have it. Not only that, but Cheyenne Mountain has some kickass steel doors - nothing gets through those suckers!

You all arm up (with the exception of King, he's blind, remember) and plant yourselves outside the massive steel door.

"You know," the guard says, giving you a superior look, "You could totally stay here - we have food and water enough to ride out this 'epidemic'."

You consider this for a moment. You COULD conceivably wait it out, but if you can get to Colorado Springs and the Coors plant, you can spike the beer with zombie-killing antigens and rid the world of this evil. Hmmm....

To take a 4+ hour drive to Colorado Springs and the Coors plant, go to page 497.

To play it safe and see if your food supply will outlast the zombie invasion, go to page 532.

[LadyHitchhiker]

497...

You decide to go to Boulder Colorado...

On the way to Boulder though you realize that you do not have enough brussel sprouts to spike the coors plant but this is the least of your problems.

The road is overrun with weasels.

To play your flute and guide them to bring you brussel sprouts to cure the infection, go to page 32.

To kill them all, turn to page 399.

To take the round about path into the woods to avoid them, turn to page 400.

[Daghain]

Page 400.

You know the back roads like the back of your hand, being the avid hiker you are. You run up the back roads south to Colorado Springs, and the safety of the Coors plant.

You get there unscathed, and to your surprise, Pete Coors is a total brussels sprouts fan. Who knew?

Pete picks the best of his garden and mixes up a batch of brussels sprouts amber bock. Sadly, it takes a month to age the beer, so you all have to hole up in the Coors plant and wait it out.

One month later, you have some nasty, but effective, brussels sprout beer. You call it Zombie Killer Amber Bock. (and hey, it doesn't taste too bad!)

Now, you need a delivery system. Do you open a zombies-only bar in the Springs, or funnel the beer into the local water system?

To open a bar, go to page 973.

To infiltrate the local water system, go to page 1009.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Page 1009....

So now you've infiltrated the water supply. Everyone seems to be turning back to normal. problem is lots of people have lost their limbs, and are horribly ugly and disfigured, and it seems like the economy is quite rough. Some people have come back with no memories at all. Had you gone through the stargate at cheyenne mountain there was a ray that would have cured everyone else, but you had not done that.

You are the savior and victor of the zombie wars but do you like the publicity?

To escape and become a hermit, go to page 902.

To take over the world, go to page 903.

[Jon]

oops...wrong thread.

[Daghain]

Page 903.

Riding on the coattails of your recent success, you and your band of clowns become the talk of the town. Stephen King marries your mom and you stand to inherit a ton of cash, because, sadly, his family didn't survive the zombie invasion. As his stepchild, you are now his only heir. Your mom takes up the task of taking dictation for all King's future novels, and becomes King's right hand.

You are now so famous that you decide to run for President. You appoint Bobo the clown as your VP and decide to run for the Anti-Zombie party. You travel across the country preaching your particular brand of anti-zombieism and vow to protect the people from all attacks by random horrible creatures.

If you win the election, go to page 17342.

If you lose the election, go to page 17599.

[LadyHitchhiker]

page 17342.

You win presidency! As one of your first acts you become part of a media frenzy. The media starts covering the stories of people who have survived the zombie attacks and since there are none of the old-fashioned "beautiful movie-type people" left, you chang the movie industry by commending the survivors. Now it's in to have had a zombie bite, people start dressing up - even the normies - as if they were attacked by zombies.

oh dear... was this what you meant to do?

This is the least of your problems.

The vampires are happy now that you have untainted their food supply, but their head vampire has come to the president's office and asked if there is any way that you can breed some food for them that does not taste like brussel sprouts.

If you help the vampires turn to page 9875.3
If not, and incite a war, turn to page 2342.1

[Daghain]

Page 9875.3.

You hire a crack team of scientists to work on the brussels sprouts problem. After months of trial and error, the best they can come up with is carrot flavored food. The vampires are not overjoyed at this, but they're willing to take what they can get.

Your next act as president is to do something about this zombie survivor issue. You think about declaring martial law and instating a country-wide dress code, but you're not sure if that would be a wise move. You gather your clown advisers around you and ask their opinion.

To declare martial law, go to page 4997.

To look at alternate plans, go to page 5993.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Page 4997.

You decide to declare marital law.

Unfortunately, your second in command Bobo goes insane and kills you by attacking you with the big red stapler in your office.


For a new story, turn to page 92.

To let this thread die... well don't post in it.

[Jon]

Page 4997.

You decide to declare marital law.

Unfortunately, your second in command Bobo goes insane and kills you by attacking you with the big red stapler in your office.


For a new story, turn to page 92.

To let this thread die... well don't post in it.

page 92.

The assassination attempt fails.

Swingline is sued


Turn to page 103 to see how the color of the stapler's paint thwarted the assassination attempt.

or..

turn to page 101 to see if a past medical procedure thwarted the assassination attempt.

[LadyHitchhiker]

page 92...

Swingline is sued and taken over. Instead of red staplers though, they now have the red and the white. They are candy-striped.

to see how the staplers take over the world go to page 3

to continue onto a new storyline turn to page 92.