All I Really need to Know I Learned From Reading the Dark Tower Series

[LadyHitchhiker]

So I totally stole the title from the book about Star Trek. But I was inspired. Here's some things I've come up with so far that I have learned from reading The Dark Tower series:

• Just because a man can resurrect the dead, does not mean he's a good guy.
• You might be the biggest bad ass the world has ever seen, but you can still be defeated.
• Make sure you're on birth control if you have sex with a succubus/incubus.
• Be wary of talking machinery.
• Mental illness is treatable.
• If you drop something important, make sure to catch it or else it'll come back to haunt you.
• Be nice to animals unless they're gigantic poisonous spiders.
• Talk to the animals.
• Never forget the face of your father.
• Never underestimate the important of a good joke/riddle.
• Massages are good.
• Antibiotics are miracles.
• Even dinner plates can be weapons.
• Never let your bullets get wet.
• Avoid unknown sea creatures.
• Don't fall asleep on the beach.
• Even the damned love.
• Don't take things that don't belong to you.
• Don't hurt innocents.
• Don't trust strangers.
• It's not about the destination, it's the journey that matters and who is with you on the journey.
• Remember to dance.
• Drugs are bad, mmkay, so don't smoke the weird weed.
• Avoid succubi.
• Avoid zombies.
• Bestiality is not okay. (You end up with Taheens!)
• Vampires are not to be trusted.
• Don't abuse alcohol.
• Sex is a nice diversion, but only really means something with someone you love.
• Know how to defend yourself.
• Palaver is important.
• Reality/truth is subjective.
• Protect the pretty flowers.
• Animals enhanced by machinery (AKA cyborg animals) fall into the category of not trusting machinery, and are rarely good.
• Remember the stories you were told as a kid.
• You don't have to be the best student to be the best at what you do.
• Poisoning kids is bad.
• Infidelity is bad.
• The Beatles are eternal.
• Make sure to say hi to Jesus.
• Know how to tie a good knot.
• If you can't push, then carry, if the load is worth bearing.
• Missing a few fingers and toes is much less a detriment to one's journey than losing a part of themselves.
• If you get too fixated on your destination, ones around you can end up hurt.
• Stephen King exists in alternate universes.
• The desert may seem to last forever, but it too, finally ends.

I'm sure I'll come up with some more, but it's a start. Share and enjoy!

[Iwritecode]

Ka is a wheel.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Ooooooooooooh good one!

[LadyHitchhiker]

* There is such a thing as karma. And more importantly, Ka, which is a wheel.

[beam*seeker]

The door of opportunity rarely opens twice.
Things are rarely what they seem to be.
Just because you can talk to the dead or wake them, doesn't mean that you SHOULD.
Roses are red.
Won't you don't know, CAN hurt you.
There are good people left in the world.
A stranger could be a friend you have not met yet.
You can't judge a book by its cover.
Wizards are dangerous.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Ooooooooooooh nice!!!!!!!

[flaggwalkstheline]

don't forget to watch out for dandelo

[candy]

Roses can take care of themselves
Trains are evil and should never be trusted
a good artist can achieve anything

[LadyHitchhiker]

Even art is magic sometimes.

[Girlystevedave]

Tooterfish Popkins are goooood.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Knowing how to fight naked, is always a nice talent to own.

[Brainslinger]

Knowing how to fight naked, is always a nice talent to own.

... but it's always advisable to glance around for potential youtubers* first.

*A kind of sentient mutie potato grown in End-world.

[Letti]

- If you find someone in your head.. well.. just keep doing what you were doing.
- If your pregnancy takes for 3 months even if you give birth to a beautiful baby RUN for your life.
- The more you think you own something the more that thing owns you.
- Most important of all: People can change.

[pathoftheturtle]

- Trying to climb the Dark Tower is a bad idea. Or a good cause. Or something.

[Jean]

or both

[LadyHitchhiker]

Journeys aren't always what you think they'll be.

[Brainslinger]

- Trying to climb the Dark Tower is a bad idea.

If I should reach the Dark Tower and enter it, I should come prepared. Picking up a harness and a length* of bungee rope while in New York wouldn't hurt. (

Spoiler:

Note to self. Don't forget to tie one end of the rope to the bottom banister post first...

**)

*A very long length...

**

Spoiler:

Okay, it needn't be tied right at the bottom, but this way the results would be more amusing.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Playing cards is dangerous... you never know what you'll draw. Draw guns instead.

[Jean]

[RainInSpain]

Never pass up opportunities to learn new skills - you never know when one of them will save your life.
Make sure you understand the (spoken and unspoken) customs of the place you are visiting.
"Stuff" you carry in your purse will come in handy sooner and in more important ways than you think.

[pathoftheturtle]

"Stuff" you carry in your purse will come in handy sooner and in more important ways than you think.

... so hold on to everything, because no pack is ever too heavy for a real gunslingler. :-P

[RainInSpain]

"Stuff" you carry in your purse will come in handy sooner and in more important ways than you think.

... so hold on to everything, because no pack is ever too heavy for a real gunslingler. :-P

Surely a real gunslinger can tell worthless junk from "stuff with future potential", no?

[LadyHitchhiker]

"Stuff" you carry in your purse will come in handy sooner and in more important ways than you think.

... so hold on to everything, because no pack is ever too heavy for a real gunslingler. :-P

Surely a real gunslinger can tell worthless junk from "stuff with future potential", no?

Gunslingers are like those old point and click games. For some reason, they always know if something is useful or not to pick up.

[pathoftheturtle]

Surely a real gunslinger can tell worthless junk from "stuff with future potential", no?

Gunslingers are like those old point and click games. For some reason, they always know if something is useful or not to pick up.

Roland is, at least.

Spoiler:

It's almost like he remembers what he'll need.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Just because there IS a door, does NOT mean you should go through it.
Big girls can also be considered beautiful.
Big girls can also be dangerous.
Be careful who you have a baby with.
The desire of wanting to have a baby should not overshadow the whole of one's life.