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I'm too poor to dontate an y'all starting to make me feel bad about it lol.

I are here.

We need a new picture as it seems disgracefully lacking a certain someone...

Not me! What do you think I am a narcissist? I was distinctly referring to Sam Jackson, don't you know he's in...

I spent a wonderful night with a 30 foot boa constrictor :'( never forget buddy.

Dr. Pepper is good.

For my assistant I have selected a bi-lateral amputee who is a wicked swordsman.

Give muh the Salem's Lot 'nd uhll say I ain't nevuh saw nuthin'!

I challenge his dog with this dog http://www.planetcalypsoforum.com/gallery/files/2/8/8/6/3/ugly_dog.jpg

Sorry, you'll have to find the secretary of Offense for that job.

My first proposed bill as Secretary of Defense is that we burn every copy of Fifty Shades of Grey and replace it with the King novel 'Gerald's Game'.

Who is calling my phone to wake me up for this? I work very late sometimes and sleep through till 2 or 3 pm some days. It's not an occupation without the unemployed!

P.S. If I can sell my...