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But then I woke up, and I was still Dan Aykroyd.

Once stopped in the middle of the road to dance because "Thriller" came on.

Of course I would. I wouldn't have to constantly smack you out of it would I? That's kind of not my bag.

Would you still love me if everyday I dressed up in a speedo and pretending that a single...

I'll make you 21 again, problem is you've lost your ID, and any other form of identification that you own states you are much older than you look, therefore you are assumed to have stolen someone's...

outdated

http://www.ugo.com/movies/burton-depp/images/edward-scissorhands.jpg

Hey! I'm sorry. It is in no way my fault that my car wrecked while I was on slick roads at 4am and drunk. Obviously it is Ghandi's fault. I knew I could never be like him, which is why I got...

Harvey Keitel

Reservoir Dogs

Drink it in McCain, drink.... it.... in....

http://blog.engage.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/obama.jpg

Hard to sleep any other way with that damned pole going through my stomach.



Likes to throw balls and tries to get people in the park to play fetch.

Low Men

M

but look, that doctor made my child magnetic
the fiend

http://z.about.com/d/paranormal/1/0/0/K/human_magnet2_lg.jpg

i

Just looks like crap touching my pork. I mean hell, I wouldn't eat pigs at all if I thought they rolled around in shit all day.


REALLY enjoys finger puppets. More so for what they are called...

Also included is a tan ball-cap, a denim vest, a stiff tube and a can of crisco for those lonely nights. Know what I mean, vern?



Dresses up as Paul Newman and fights another man dressed as...

13 Christmas disasters


1. Kids knocking over the Christmas tree and water going everywhere
2. Forgetting the presents at home after a 2 hour drive to the party
3. Having one dead bulb killing...

I could only imagine how hard it would have been to kill able. Everything would have been all sticky.


Once stole the mall's Easter Bunny suit and farted in it, and waited until the real guy put...

I could only imagine how hard it would have been to kill able. Everything would have been all sticky.


Once stole the mall's Easter Bunny suit and farted in it, and waited until the real guy put...

just cause he and this robot have something in common now

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1032/886374525_05c4af7c69.jpg?v=1197837148

*The following should be stated in one's best Christopher Walken impression*

Hello my............. good GENTLEMAN! May I please.......... par----take...... in one of of those...

Works every time. Real easy too. All I have to do is remember when I turned 20 and a 15 year old bag boy felt me up.


Likes to scream the "Saw" theme in Jigsaw's ear.