Search:

Only by marriage though. Let's just say that Uncle Pete has a skeleton fetish.

Once tried to follow some ants down an anthill in an effort to become their new queen.

I just wish the damn cars weren't so heavy. Carrying them over to the lisence plates is getting to be a bitch.

Is genetically composed of Steak-Ums, mulch and fiberoptic cables.

It backfired though, I had to clean up all that poop after the soprano's high note summoned all those dogs.

Once mistook a rabid wolverine for a birthday cake.

Yes, it's called Cap'n Trips.

Isn't ain't not never can't doesn't understand this that those words.

If you look really close one of the blue men has Hefty Smurf's heart tattoo on his eyelid. ;)

Is convinced the JFK assassination was a suicide.

Fuck you you fucking coackarosch!

Sprays their elbows and knees with WD-40, all in an effort to be the Tin Man.

That was before they replaced the paste I ate with the non-toxic kind.

Yells out "Keiser Soze" during sex.

I don't like P*ssy, and P*ssy doesn't like me.

Automatically assumes that I'm gay because of what I just said.

Well, pouring cough syrup into the hard drive didn't work, so...

Regulary interrupts the weddings of strangers when the minister asks if anyone has any reason as to why these people should not be...

Well, at least I'm not selling them to them.

Wants to be a giraffe astronaut when they grow up.

And when they gave it to me, I held it in front of my crotch for protection.

Runs with scissors.

Because even when I'm lazy, the costume makes everything I do a superhuman feat. ;)

Has superhuman feet.

That's the last luxury liner that'll dare to cross me!

Sold their soul to the devil for a pack of Winterfresh gum.

I just don't see a point in rising up to the challenge of my rivals.

Doesn't think it's sad that I didn't have to read the lyrics to write the above sentence. :doh:

That little bastard had it coming, always kissing at me through the glass.

Keeps calling everyone he meets Sven, just hoping to meet a Nordic person.

I'm all for the APC's (Angry Pigeon Coalition) sovereignty, plus, I think the Huggies make my ass look so sweet.

Thinks my ass looks sweet in these Huggies.

Well, with gas proces so high, and there being an unlimited supply of orphans to feed Snuggly, it's only common sense.

Ran around for 2 days wearing nothing but a diaper screaming obscenities at...

I meant, they love sniffing socks the way a crackhead loves that sweet rock.

Where else am I supposed to get one? Bed, Bath and Beyond?!

Likens themselves to a crackhead when it comes to sock sniffing,

It tasted all nice and minty, and it didn't give me brain freeze, no matter how fast I ate it. ^_^

Watches nothing but reality television.