Nerak, that was pretty good. lol
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Nerak, that was pretty good. lol
Three nuns go to Heaven and meet St. Peter at the gate. St. Peter asks the first nun if she has any sins to confess.
The nun replies "I touched a man's penis once."
"Not to worry," says St. Peter. "Just wash the hand that touched it in this bowl of holy water and your sin is cleansed."
The third nun then taps the second nun on the shoulder and says "Do you mind if I gargle before you squat over that?"
Woofer, Laughed myself out of the chair
A blow job is 1% urine, 2% hair, 3% cum and 94% other bitches pussy
Humpty Dumpty was sitting on the wall while Little Bo Peep was giving him head. She knew by the taste that he had been fucking her sheep.
A man and his wife get into a bad argument and start giving each other the silent treatment. THis goes on for a week because neither of them want to be the one to give in and "lose".
After a week, the man realizes he has an important business trip and needs his wife to wake him up early in the morning. Rather than asking her and thus, losing, he writes her a note: "Big business trip tomorrow, please wake me up at 5 am".
The next morning he awakes aware that it is late, he looks at the alarm and it is 9 AM! He couldn't beleive she didn't wake him, but when he looked to her side of the bed he saw a yellow post it note "It's 5 AM. Wake up."
:lol:
What's the difference between a Scottsman and a Rolling Stone band member? The Scottsman says "Hey MacCloud, get off'a my ewe!"
Did j00 know Micheal Jackson is adopting? I heard about it on an Amber Alert announcement
(This is gonna be terrible).
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idear?
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idear?
*pa-dum-dum*
What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs?
Doesn't matter, he isn't coming anyway
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick
:lol:
http://www.joecartoon.com/cartoons/1..._no_legged_dog
a man walks into the oval office and says "Mister President, ten Brazilian men were gunned down by terrorists"
The president says "how many is a Brazilian?"
Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully at
the age of 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him
into the coffin. They put his left leg in, thats when the bloody trouble started...
Q: Why do all the ladies love Jesus?
A: Because he's hung like this.
*holds arms out wide*
Q: What's better than winning the Special Olympics?
A: Not being retarded.
Q: What's the difference between a fridge and a gay man?
A: A fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out.
I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
I blew my wad all at once. I got nothin'. Except this lame one:
What kinda cheese isn't yours?
NACHO cheese.
(It's so retarded and yet, I laugh every time.)
That was cheesy and corny like nachos :lol:
Hope these don't offend.
What's the difference between a vaccum and a Harley...
Dirt bag is just in a different place
What do Hurricanes and a red neck divorce have in common?
I don't know, but someone is losing a trailer.
I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah, I thought "he's trying to pull a fast one"
here's a couple DW jokes i leik
What goes bang, thud, bang, thud, bang, thud, bang, thud, bang, thud, bang, thud, bang, thud, bang, thud, bang, thud, bang, thud, bang, thud, bang, thud, bang, thud?
A Time Lord committing suicide.
what does a catholic dalek say?
EXCOMMUNICATE!!!!
lol Those are pretty bad, I love them! :D
While reading the DT the other day, Eddie made a joke and I cracked up laughing. It's terrible, yet I still laugh.
Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road?
A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.
I can't help it. :lol:
:rofl: never gets old!
Did you hear about the hooker that had an appendectomy?
She started makin' money on the side.
man goes into a bar, where he sees a monkey with a sign that says "for sale: 10 thousand dollars" the man asks the bartender why a monkey could cost so much?
"well," says the bartender, "this monkey gives the best head anyone has ever experienced, its unreal. Have a try, if it do ya"
the man took the monkey in the back room and came back 5 minutes later with a check for 10 large. he takes the monkey home.
the next night, his wife comes home to see a monkey in the sink doing dishes. shes goes to ask her husband why this is so, and he replies" honey, i know i told you that you gave the best head i've ever had, but this monkey is way better"
"ok," she says dissapointed, "but then why is it in the kitchen doing dishes?
the husband replies, "well if it can do the dishes and my laundry, what do i need you for?"
hahahaha
oh come on, Turtle. we discusssed this! *ahem*
Spoiler:
don't ask why i put the spoiler tage