That's awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :excited:
Being intimate for the first time... do not have sex with the lady, walk out of the place, and scream, "WOOOOOOOOOO! Do NOT go in there!"
Printable View
That's awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :excited:
Being intimate for the first time... do not have sex with the lady, walk out of the place, and scream, "WOOOOOOOOOO! Do NOT go in there!"
when visiting relatives that you don't know that live on a farm and they come into your room and leave the door open- "close the door were you born in a barn"
Not a movie quote but a famous quote nonetheless. when raiding someone's place (home or business) while in a group don't run in by yourself and yell "LEEEROOOOYY JENKINSSSSSS"
Actual conversation at work:
Me: "You know, the chinese use a single word for both crisis and opportunity. Crisitunity."
Co-worker: "I'm Chinese, and I'm pretty sure that isn't true."
Me: "It's from the Simpsons."
[blank stare]
Me: "It's in reference to a famous quote by JFK."
[blank stare]
Me: [apologizing]
:lol: That's classic, Robert!
When explaining to your boss about how badly you think the IT system in the office has been setup, don't just sum up your feelings with: "THERE IS NO FUCKING SETUP!"
When your future wife introduces you to your future sister-in-law: "I will marry both women."
When you really need to borrow your dad's car: "Hand me the keys, you fucking cocksucker!"
This one got me slapped as a teenager:
Dad, "Eat your vegetables, they're good for you."
Me, "So is p-ssy, but I don't see that on the table"
:lol: Garrell, that's fucking priceless.
How bout at a lethal injection execution; "I'll have what she's having"
During an orgasm with your girlfriend, Linda:
"ADDDRRRIIIAAANNN"
I'm willing to make a blanket statement that any quote from Rocky in bed is a faux pas.
When preparing for a surgery just before the patient goes under: "Here come the pain!!"
At a prison construction site....."if you build it they will come"
At a condom factory....."if you build it they will come"
:lol:
When someone gets an injury that draws blood: "If it bleeds, we can kill it."
At grandmas 80th when everyone's singing Happy Birthday chime in with "....but this one here....this is MY wish,MY dream......and I'm taking it back....I'm taking them all back!" and than blow out the candles.
:thumbsup:
And to continue with the theme, when someone is about to sing the national anthem at a sporting event, do not grab the microphone and say: "Heeeeeey yooouuu guuuuuuyyys!"
After testing negative for STD they give you your paperwork and tell you to have a nice day. Walk towards the door and before you walk out turn around and deliver the classic....."I'll be back".
i have seen this one first hand, never used it or will use it
go to a party, bar, nightclub or whatever social gathering you can find and use this 'pick up line' "gimme some sugar baby"
When someone tries on a new outfit and shows it to you: "Is that a Devo suit?"
When getting arrested and they ask who you want to make your phone call too say "E.T. phone home"
Spoken to the judge when appearing in court: "What are you supposed to be, some kind of a cosmonaut?"
If you go out on a first date and the waiter brings you the check and you look at the other person and say "Do you see me reaching for my fucking wallet!?!?"
When the California judge asks how I end up standing before him arrested for possession of marijuana: "Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs..."