Domestic chores and responsibilities - Who does what?

[cozener]

If one spouse has a full time job and the other stays home with the kids how much of the cooking, cleaning, etc can the stay at home spouse reasonably expect the working spouse to do? (and yes, I'm having a disagreement about this issue at home)

*scratches head*

Have I asked this question before?

[Sam]

I guess that all depends on the kids situation. Are they little children requiring constant watching like toddlers do or are they in school during the day? Also would depend on how many children there are. Just one child requires different observation skills than three. Let's say three kids, all are in school. The working spouse has a reasonable expectation for the weekly cleaning chores, like vacuuming, dusting, and such) to be done while the kids are at school. The health of the at-home spouse also needs to be taken into account though. Let's assume good health right now.

Three kids in school, spouse in good health, I'd say most of the daily chores (washing dishes, fixing dinner, straightening up, etc.) should be done by the at-home spouse. Unless the other spouse is going to be OCD about seeing a speck of dust, in which case the OCD spouse need to get up and do it to suit themselves.

Just my opinion. I have no kids and we're both slobs, so we're cool in my home.

[ChristineB]

Exactly dito what Sam said.

If the children are small and require more supervision then there should be some division of the chores around the house. Just my 2 cents.

[cozener]

We have a 3 and 5 year old. The 5 year old is in school from 8:30 to 3 three days a week, Mon, Wed. Friday. They're both in school on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. This seems like a rather large amount of time to get some stuff done. I don't deny that they can be a handful. They can really stress a person out. But for much of the day they're somewhat sedate and self sufficient. So, I'm kinda thinking that she really could do more than she does. She doesn't cook. She cleans only sparingly.

And I'm about as far away from being ocd as you can get. I just don't think she's using her time as efficiently as she could. If she were she'd be able to keep the kitchen clean and make dinner instead of everyone having to do some ad hoc bullshit for the evening meal every night. I'm willing to help. I've even told her that if she'd give me a list of things she'd like me to do I'll do it. But she refuses to do this. I think she just likes bitching about everything I don't do too much to settle the dispute with something as simple as a list of chores. If there's a list I'll know in no uncertain terms what is expected of me and she won't be able to use my supposed unwillingness/failure to help" to gain leverage in certain situations. Either that or maybe she knows that if she were to write down everything she wants me to do it might hit her just how unreasonable her expectations are.

[Darkthoughts]

Ahhh, I have this discussion often myself!

Let me just say Coz, that you won't win it. No matter how reasonable you are, no matter how much you make sense, you'll still be the baddie. It's something to do with staying at home with kids all/most of the day that drives you insane and turns you mean. You take out your frustrations on your partner as soon as they get in from work because they "escaped" for the day and you didn't. (Now I know that you've been at work and not really escaping, but the twisted stay at home mum mind does not choose to see it this way, even though we recognise it as the truth).

:D

Seriously though, I work part time and have three children who are all now at school full time, I cook dinner and do all the housework - the problem in my house is opposite to yours in that my husband seems to think anything to do with the house and kids (unless its fun stuff) is my domain. But I see your point and to some degree your wife's. When the kids were part time at school and playgroup and before that when they were home all the time, I didn't want to spend any free time I had cleaning, I wanted to do something for myself like read etc. But, I think its a fair trade that if your partner is earning to pay the mortgage, rent, bills whatever then you should housekeep on top of daytime childcare. I don't think the working partner should be exempt of ALL chores, that's simply unfair - but there should be more than a 50/50 division on the at home partners side, as long as the working partner also does their fair share with the kids when they get home..

[ICry4Oy]

I think it all depends on how often the stay-at-home spouse is willing to put out.:dance:

[Daghain]

I'd say she needs to be cooking dinner and doing most of the cleaning. If you have a yard and you took care of that, it would be cool. Or do some of the housework. But, she's home all day, the kids are in school quite a bit, and, yeah, I'm going to be mean and say it, it sounds like a) you're right, she wants to complain (and sounds like she's being a bit lazy, too) and b) she's home ALL DAY. WTF? Does she want to sit around and eat bonbons and do nothing?

Maybe you need to agree that one night a week you'll watch the kids and she can go out and do whatever - hang with the girls, shop, you know, get out of the house. Or, you take the kids somewhere and let her have the house to herself for a few hours. It may be all she needs is some time to herself. I know if I was home with a kid for more than 30 minutes I'd be slitting my wrists. :lol:

[Jean]

what Irish Dawn said, the last sentence including

[pathoftheturtle]

I think it all depends on how often the stay-at-home spouse is willing to put out.:dance:That is funny in context, but let's remember that when reason turns cold, life can seem pretty dark. After all, what is marriage, really? What's it mean? Love each other, try not to fight. It's not easy for anyone. I just counsel whoever can to be patient, to seek peace.

[cozener]

Ahhh, I have this discussion often myself!

Let me just say Coz, that you won't win it. No matter how reasonable you are, no matter how much you make sense, you'll still be the baddie. It's something to do with staying at home with kids all/most of the day that drives you insane and turns you mean. You take out your frustrations on your partner as soon as they get in from work because they "escaped" for the day and you didn't. (Now I know that you've been at work and not really escaping, but the twisted stay at home mum mind does not choose to see it this way, even though we recognise it as the truth). Hmmm...so I'm stuck with this shit until they're both in school full time. Fuck. :lol:


When the kids were part time at school and playgroup and before that when they were home all the time, I didn't want to spend any free time I had cleaning, I wanted to do something for myself like read etc. I do appreciate that and this is why I'm willing to help. I do the yard work, I had been in the habit of doing ALL of the laundry on the weekends which takes up the better part of the weekend (although, lately, she's been doing some laundry...not sure why) And I'm willing to help with big cleaning projects...like if we're having guests and the house needs to be thoroughly cleaned, cleaning out the garage, the basement, etc. But I really don't feel that I should be pressured to clean bathrooms, vacuum, dust, etc. Sometimes I think I might just start doing everything just do show her that if she just cleaned one room a day it would be relatively easy. But I'm afraid she might figure that if I can do it so easily I should just do it from now on. This is how she thinks.


you're right Now thats what I really wanted to hear. :lol:


Maybe you need to agree that one night a week you'll watch the kids and she can go out and do whatever - hang with the girls, shop, you know, get out of the house. I think we both need a day like this and I'd be more than happy to make that happen...or...even better...if we could, once a week, get a sitter and go hang out with each other as a couple instead of parents that would be ideal.




I think it all depends on how often the stay-at-home spouse is willing to put out.:dance: All jokes aside, this actually has much more influence on my attitude towards helping out around the house than one might think.


Does she want to sit around and eat bonbons and do nothing?If she knew how to work the sex angle I'd have no problem with her sitting around eating bonbons all day. I'd even stand next to the couch and feed them to her between dusting and vacuuming. :drool:

[Wuducynn]

I'd say she needs to be cooking dinner and doing most of the cleaning. If you have a yard and you took care of that, it would be cool. Or do some of the housework. But, she's home all day, the kids are in school quite a bit, and, yeah, I'm going to be mean and say it, it sounds like a) you're right, she wants to complain (and sounds like she's being a bit lazy, too) and b) she's home ALL DAY. WTF? Does she want to sit around and eat bonbons and do nothing?

Maybe you need to agree that one night a week you'll watch the kids and she can go out and do whatever - hang with the girls, shop, you know, get out of the house. Or, you take the kids somewhere and let her have the house to herself for a few hours. It may be all she needs is some time to herself. I know if I was home with a kid for more than 30 minutes I'd be slitting my wrists. :lol:<-----WDS

[Darkthoughts]

Hmmm...so I'm stuck with this shit until they're both in school full time. Fuck. :lol:
Ha! Pretty much :D It is mind numbingly dull doing nothing but look after children all day every day, no matter how much you love them, so that's probably why your wife has become adverse to housework - because thats also dull as fuck! Maybe she just needs a light at the end of the tunnel, which leads on to what Daggers said...

Maybe you need to agree that one night a week you'll watch the kids and she can go out and do whatever - hang with the girls, shop, you know, get out of the house.
My husband and I have an arrangement that Friday nights are mine and Saturday nights are his. If we can get a sitter, cool we both go out, but if not we both have one night of the weekend that we KNOW we're individually out for regardless - and it's a fucking lifesaver, seriously :couple:

[Wuducynn]

Lisa, all you're kept around here for is to sit and look pretty and giggle a lot. Now get back in the kitchen and make me my supper, woman!

[cozener]

I'd say she needs to be cooking dinner and doing most of the cleaning. If you have a yard and you took care of that, it would be cool. Or do some of the housework. But, she's home all day, the kids are in school quite a bit, and, yeah, I'm going to be mean and say it, it sounds like a) you're right, she wants to complain (and sounds like she's being a bit lazy, too) and b) she's home ALL DAY. WTF? Does she want to sit around and eat bonbons and do nothing?

Maybe you need to agree that one night a week you'll watch the kids and she can go out and do whatever - hang with the girls, shop, you know, get out of the house. Or, you take the kids somewhere and let her have the house to herself for a few hours. It may be all she needs is some time to herself. I know if I was home with a kid for more than 30 minutes I'd be slitting my wrists. :lol:<-----WDS What is WDS? (and I'm pronouncing it "wids" in my head.)

[Wuducynn]

Brad, I know you are fairly smart...at least I thought so. Take a moment, breathe. Let the oxygen enter your brain for a little while and then think about it.

[LadyHitchhiker]

I don't know, both my husband and I work, but there's certain things that I ALWAYS do, and then the rest is just divvied up into whenever it works for whoever's schedules or whims. Like I HATE doing dishes because I do it at Wendy's, so usually if I cook the dinner, then he'll wash the dishes for me. He has cooked twice for me the whole entire time we've been together, and it's something I like to do so it's something I do as much as possible. I ALWAYS do the cat box, and we split up the laundry. As for the rest of the scrubbing, well that's almost all me. Maybe you could ask wifey if you could please do the one thing she hates the most - whether you hate it or not :) - and that will be one thing off her plate? Like my husband can't stand the catbox and has only done it twice in our seven years when I was too sick, but I gladly do it. It's a quick easy chore but it means a lot for me to do it for him. Just an idea? :nana:

And as for the sex thing, well my two cents worth are if my hubby wanted to put out every day, well then I would just HAVE To do all the chores all the time ;) And with a smile on my face...

The one thing we fight about is he wants the dishes all put away from the drying rack and into the cabinet for when he comes home from work. Well he won't do it for me, for when I come home for work, so I usually just leave them in the drying rack. :cyclops: :dance: Well diplomacy and rational thought doesn't win every argument!

[Sam]

Here's the way it is in my house. My wife has stage 4 metastatic breast cancer that has spread to her skeletal system. She is currently going through her second chemo treatment rounds (as in she had her first round in late 2007 and the cancer woke back up) which started in early October. Because of this, most of the time she's not able to do the chores.

As a result, I do the chores except for the laundry. That's the division of labor. I clean the kitchen, wash the dishes, fix the meals (yeah we eat out/take out a lot, but I also cook), and generally clean up after my wife. I also sweep once or twice every year whether the floor needs it or not. Seriously, I do clean the floors, just not every other day (hell, not every week). She does her laundry most of the time because apparently I don't do it to suit her. Mostly she does it so she feels like she's contributing to the household, but she also bitched that I didn't do it right the last time I washed her clothes. Even though I did it exactly the way she instructed me to.:rolleyes:

As for the sex thing, that doesn't happen in our house anymore. Well, maybe every five or six months or so.

[MonteGss]

Lisa, all you're kept around here for is to sit and look pretty and giggle a lot. Now get back in the kitchen and make me my supper, woman!

What he said. :lol:

[Hannah]

This thread either needs to be merged with the general help thread or turned into a thread about domestic chores and responsibilities and such. I vote for the latter.

In my house we both work so we both try to split up the household stuff equally. We work together on stuff. So we'll team up on the dishes and laundry and picking up. When I was on maternity leave and wasn't working the house was spic and fucking span. Everything was perfect. I felt like June Cleaver. And I was taking care of two kids, one a newborn, and exhausted because of a high dosage blood pressure medication that made me extremely drowsy all the time. So I would say that yes, unless something else is taking up her time, she should be able to get a lot of stuff done during the day while you are at work, Coz.

And I hope she never logs on here and sees this thread. :lol:

[<ô> bango skank <ô>]

The last thing you wanna do after work is house work. in my experience, if you let the house get to a certain level of disgusting, it is in the nature of ladies to clean it up, after alot of complaint. Just be ready for a week sleeping alone... then re-start the cycle.

As for the kiddie angle, i wouldn't know, thankfully. i'd just quit smoking or somthing and pay for someone to do that stuff with my extra cash... or let them turn feral.:panic:

[Woofer]

The last thing you wanna do after work is house work. in my experience, if you let the house get to a certain level of disgusting, it is in the nature of ladies to clean it up, after alot of complaint. Just be ready for a week sleeping alone... then re-start the cycle.

Bolding mine. WTF?

[Jean]

This thread either needs to be merged with the general help thread or turned into a thread about domestic chores and responsibilities and such. I vote for the latter.
Cozener: since it's your thread, please think of a good name that would make it clear what the thread is about. Then it will be able to survive as it is, without merge.

http://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k291/mishemplushem/Facilitation/0134-bear.gifhttp://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k291/mishemplushem/Facilitation/0134-bear.gifhttp://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k291/mishemplushem/Facilitation/0134-bear.gif

[Darkthoughts]

Lisa, all you're kept around here for is to sit and look pretty and giggle a lot. Now get back in the kitchen and make me my supper, woman!
*giggle*



Lisa, all you're kept around here for is to sit and look pretty and giggle a lot. Now get back in the kitchen and make me my supper, woman!

What he said. :lol:
Oh no you don't! You can't disappear for months on end and expect me to STILL be your bitch! Now YOU get in the kitchen and make MY dinner...hey nice ass!!
/slaps :P

And I hope she never logs on here and sees this thread. :lol:
:lol: My thoughts exactly.

[cozener]

Brad, I know you are fairly smart...at least I thought so. Take a moment, breathe. Let the oxygen enter your brain for a little while and then think about it.

http://chud.com/articles/content_images/5/forrestgump.jpg

Wids...naw...I wouldn't know anything bout no wids...


So I would say that yes, unless something else is taking up her time, she should be able to get a lot of stuff done during the day while you are at work, Coz.

And I hope she never logs on here and sees this thread. :lol: I think I have an idea of what might be taking up her time...Facebook.:arg: Maybe I should be talking about this there to get her attention. I understand what its like to be addicted to something like that but when I was an online gaming freak we didn't have any children. Once the kids started coming that stuff tapered off pretty quick.

If she did log in here you'd probably get the litany of shit that I don't do. I'm certainly not perfect. Sometimes it does take a reminder for me to do some things...weed wacking comes to mind. But damn. I was the one staying home for a while after our first kid was born and I always kept the kitchen clean, did the laundry, and cooked dinner. And it was very easy. If I can do that much I'm sure she can...especially seeing as how she has roughly 15 hours a week that she's child free let alone the little things she can do here and there when she does have one or both kids. In all fairness to her she does have more to worry about than I did when I was staying home. But still. I don't think that dinner and a clean kitchen are that much to ask.


Now YOU get in the kitchen and make MY dinner...hey nice ass!!
/slaps :P Damn thats hot...


As far as changing the name of the thread...hmmm ok...Hannah's suggestion works for me. "domestic chores and responsibilities". I like that because it doesn't necessarily have to be about the division of labor. Someone could just bitch about how they hate cleaning toilets or something. :)

[Candice Dionysus]

My last boyfriend and I lived together for a while. Unfortunately, I was the one working, and he was the one unemployed, but no kids. I was also the only one actually cleaning. He would clean if I told him to do something specific before I left for work, and he would help me if I were to say "hey, give me a hand with this." For the first couple of months, anyway.

Personally, I think that if a person is spending 8 - 10 hours at work a day they should not have to come home to a messy house and no food made (unless they live alone). When I am living with another person, if I am not working I am at least keeping the place clean, usually baking muffins, and generally having dinner made for when they get home. Whether I'm "with them" or not. It is only fair.

[Daghain]

Coz...WDS - What Daghain Said. :lol:

[candy]

The last thing you wanna do after work is house work. in my experience, if you let the house get to a certain level of disgusting, it is in the nature of ladies to clean it up, after alot of complaint. Just be ready for a week sleeping alone... then re-start the cycle.

Bolding mine. WTF?

woofer!!!! where are you, where have you been????

[cozener]

Coz...WDS - What Daghain Said. :lol: Oh...ok!

Well...that makes much more sense than my original theory that he was calling you a wireless distribution system...:blush:

[Daghain]

:lol:

[ola]

woofer!!!! where are you, where have you been????

Yeah, what she said.

[Woofer]

{pads in on silent wolf paws} I'm on sabbatical for pressing and stressing RL issues. *wolfhug* Miss you all. {pads out on silent wolf paws}

[Jean]

[off-topic]


{pads in on silent wolf paws} I'm on sabbatical for pressing and stressing RL issues. *wolfhug* Miss you all. {pads out on silent wolf paws}
I so wish wolves would become accessible to bears. We wouldn't lead threads off-topic, and bears could hug you. PM me your email address?

[/off-topic, sorry friends, won't happen again]

[MonteGss]

Lisa, all you're kept around here for is to sit and look pretty and giggle a lot. Now get back in the kitchen and make me my supper, woman!

What he said. :lol:
Oh no you don't! You can't disappear for months on end and expect me to STILL be your bitch! Now YOU get in the kitchen and make MY dinner...hey nice ass!!
/slaps :P


I come and go as I please. Now make me a sandwich.

Anyway to comment on the thread...

I do most of the cleaning in the house. She does her share of laundry but it tends to fall short. For example, she'll leave the laundry in the dryer and not fold it.
Most of the time, I'm ok with the amount of work we both do. We both work full time, though she works longer hours and we have no kids. It can bug me though if I get home and she has destroyed the kitchen and hasn't bothered with any cleanup. Also, her bathroom is just plain disgusting, women are so gross. :lol:

[Girlystevedave]

I stay at home with our 1 year old and my husband works. I feel like, since I'm not working (at by that, I mean I'm not geting paid for it. Cause being at home IS work. :lol: ) the home is my responsibility. I do the cleaning, the cooking, laundry, etc. The only thing I expect my husband to do is take care of the yard and take out the garbage. And, pick up after himself. It doesn't bother me that he doesn't do the cleaning. I figure, I'm the one at home all day, I can do it between feeding, changing, playing with our son. Of course, I pretty much did everthing before he was born and I was working daily, but go figure. :orely:
The one thing I do expect though: Is a break when he gets home. Even if it's 20 minutes to myself. Like I tell him: I don't get paid for what I do, but it's a 24 hour a day job, and I never get time off. :)

[Darkthoughts]

:clap: Hear hear!

And Montes, stfu :cool:

[cozener]

And, pick up after himself. Okay...now...just so you all don't think that its all Mrs. Coz's fault...I do have trouble with this one. :blush:

But I'm getting better...

[BROWNINGS CHILDE]

I work 12 hours a day. 7 on and 7 off. I am a pharmacist, so I make enough money that my spouse would not have to work should she choose not too. On the week that I work, I dont expect to lift a finger while I am at home, and I usually don't have to. On my days off, I try to help out as much as I can. Since I work nights though, I generally spend alot of my time off adjusting back to days and then back to nights. We also have 21 month twin girls. My wife was staying at home with them, and the house was genarally well tended to during that time. But, my wife was going nuts. I didn't think it was healthy for her to stay at home all the time with two babies, so I encouraged her to get a job. She found a job making a little more than expected, but since we spend almost 200 dollars a week in child care, it is little more than a push financially. However, I think that it made a huge difference on her psyche.

On a side note. I watch the girls one day a week on my days off, and I never get anything done around the house, and I am always frazzled when my wife gets home. Nothing like careing for twin babies to make you ready to go back to work.

[Sam]

:lol:

[LadyHitchhiker]

The last thing you wanna do after work is house work. in my experience, if you let the house get to a certain level of disgusting, it is in the nature of ladies to clean it up, after alot of complaint. Just be ready for a week sleeping alone... then re-start the cycle.

Bolding mine. WTF?

Where did THAT stereotype come from?

It is in my nature to freak out and go mental if my husband doesn't help out around the house - which he wouldn't not do, unless there was a good reason, but you can bet your ass I would go mental, so he knows better.

I'm not going to do stuff without help as far as house work goes - not saying we have to do the same project together, but that he has to do something. If he's not going to do anything to help at all, then I'm not going to do anything more than what behooves me, and it definitely would have nothing to do with how much he complains. THAT is in MY nature. Like he doesn't like how I vacuum. I don't do it anymore. That's all on him. But he loves the way I scrub the floors and clean the bathroom, so I'll do that.

Yeah, somebody in my house complaining at me and not cleaning up after themselves, and just letting things become disgusting? They would NOT last long in my house.

And yes, the last thing I want to do when I come home is clean up, but I do it. And the last thing my husband wants to do when he gets home is to clean, but he does it. And we always make sure the dishes are washed before we go to bed unless it has to soak so :P

That sure doesn't sound like a healthy marriage, to expect to be sleeping alone for a week. That sure doesn't sound like you're nurturing your wife's feelings, at all, and treating her as an individual or caring about what she thinks. It must hurt her feelings for her to clean up after you and for you to just let it get disgusting again.

As Woofer said, WTF?

[candy]

i have no little kiddies so in my house its quite clear cut, whoever gets home first cooks and the other person washes up. a weekend is a joint effort with the house and or garden.

but; mr c does have a major problem tidying up after himself, he seems to have an idea in his head that we have laundry fairies. any clothes he leaves on the floor seem to magic themselves into his drawers washed, ironed and folded. ??? yep those darn fairies eh, but then again i dont do any diy - bulb can stay blown for weeks if i have anything to do with it (just change rooms:P)

but, i can see both sides of the kiddy debate. you would think that if you spend all day at home, and the kids are at school/nursery that the house would be cleaned etc and that the main wage earner would not have to do anything when they get home, but i also think its hard work when you have little children all day, and then it must be annoying when said wage earner comes home and does nothing because they have been at 'work' all day, (i think personally its easier to go out to work all day than stay in and work at looking after young children)

[alinda]

I want to be the one who pays the maid.:wtf:

[Brice]

When I did factory work I paid a friend who was out of work (with children) to come in and do all the cleaning. I may just have been the poorest person with maid service. :lol:


Never underestimate my laziness.

And YES, I'm fucking proud of it. :lol:

[Ves'Ka Gan]

Well right now Mr.Ves is taking care of the dusting in Afghanistan, so I pretty much do it all ;)

When he's home, I don't feel I have much right to ask him to do anything that I am reasonably capable of doing...he might have to help me organize things that belong to him, or move something heavy into the garage, but as for cleaning? Notsomuch. Plus he pays for me to have a little help once a week, so I'd really be toeing the line if I expected him to do the dishes.

On the other hand, he's been informed, and agrees, that baby duties go both ways. Once our little gunslinger is here, he's going to have to stay at home with her some evenings while I go to classes, or just go out with friends, and he'll have to change some poopy diapers, too. He's her father, and for us, that's part of being a parent. Plus he doesn;t have to get up at night to feed her since she'll be nursing and he doesn't have boobs.

ETA: He also works on average between 12 & 16 hours a day--I might feel a little differently if he was home everyday after an 8hr workday.

[Ves'Ka Gan]

When I did factory work I paid a friend who was out of work (with children) to come in and do all the cleaning. I may just have been the poorest person with maid service. :lol:


Never underestimate my laziness.

And YES, I'm fucking proud of it. :lol:

Brice--if you can budget it to work, I say DO IT, right? How worth it was it?! We are by no means 'wealthy' enough for most people to think we have a cleaning lady--but we do because she's cheap and it's a nice treat for two people who cut the cost of smoking out of their lives.

[Daghain]

When I did factory work I paid a friend who was out of work (with children) to come in and do all the cleaning. I may just have been the poorest person with maid service. :lol:


Never underestimate my laziness.

And YES, I'm fucking proud of it. :lol:

I'm with you here. I live alone (well, I have the cat, but without opposable thumbs it's kind of hard to get her to vacuum) and frankly my house doesn't get that dirty (and it's only 880 sq. ft.) but I hate cleaning. I like a clean house though, so I do it.

I'm thisclose to pricing out a cleaning service. The only thing stopping me is that I can't believe I'm that lazy. :lol:

[Brice]

How worth it was it? Well at the time I was a pretty steady stoner. I had a decent job doing factory work for 12hr. shifts, plus overtime, plus got monthly, quarterly, AND yearly bonuses. She was a really good close friend (at the time), was out of work, had two children, and no real means to support them. Honestly i offered to just give her the money, but she wouldn't take it. She jokingly said i could be your maid. i laughed and after about ten or fifteen minutes said ....wait, do you mean it? :rofl: So she got what she needed (money) without losing dignity and i got what I needed (my extreme laziness enabled).


Dags: Embrace the laziness. If you do you'll love yourself all the more and wonder what made you wait so long.

[Daghain]

Oh, that's tempting...

[lophophoras]

I live alone so do it all!!

:panic:

[stone, rose, unfound door]

I live alone so do it all!!

:panic:

Same here but since the flat is small, it takes no time cleaning :)

[BROWNINGS CHILDE]

When I did factory work I paid a friend who was out of work (with children) to come in and do all the cleaning. I may just have been the poorest person with maid service. :lol:


Never underestimate my laziness.

And YES, I'm fucking proud of it. :lol:

Brice--if you can budget it to work, I say DO IT, right? How worth it was it?! We are by no means 'wealthy' enough for most people to think we have a cleaning lady--but we do because she's cheap and it's a nice treat for two people who cut the cost of smoking out of their lives.

So Brice, I don't suppose you gave up smoking to enable your laziness.
No? didnt think so:cool:

[Brice]

No! :lol:

[<ô> bango skank <ô>]

okay i've angered folk. i didn't mean to be sexist or anything. i just think that men are much more willing to live like scruffy bastards. i'm quite happy to go to bed knowing that the sink is full of dirty plates. Why do today, what you can do tomorrow?

upon reflection... mabey this is why i am, once again, single.:doh:

[BROWNINGS CHILDE]

Yeah, it took me getting married to stop living like a slob. haha

[Ves'Ka Gan]

Haha, I should clarify, I didn't quit smoking in order to afford the cleaning lady, or get the cleaning lady as a direct reward for quitting smoking--just that cost of living is pretty low here & it's incredibly affordable now that the high, high cost of smoking is out of our lives!

Granted, I have this funny feeling that if I relapse & start smoking again, I won't be giving up that 3 hrs a week she comes in and takes care of business for me!

[BROWNINGS CHILDE]

The cost of quitting smoking is not measured financially, at least not directly. And it is usually erroneously considered to be a cost saving decision. However, it is a measure of the cost of medical attention that those around you require, less the cost of cigarettes. Usually its cheaper to smoke.

[Sam]

With that child on the way, please keep the cost of smoking out of your life. I know too many children who have been greatly affected by their parents continued smoking. The cost of smoking is far greater than just the money is costs to buy the cigarettes.

[<ô> bango skank <ô>]

i'd love to quit smoking... will never happen. i tried before and said i'd only smoke spliffs. i was stoned off my face for a week. and spent alot more cash.

[Sam]

The cost of quitting smoking is not measured financially, at least not directly. And it is usually erroneously considered to be a cost saving decision. However, it is a measure of the cost of medical attention that those around you require, less the cost of cigarettes. Usually its cheaper to smoke.

???
Either please tell me you're being sarcastic, or please explain your statement. It sounds like you're saying it's cheaper to smoke because it will makes those around you sick.

[BROWNINGS CHILDE]

Actually, no I am saying that it is cheaper to smoke, because if I quit, I will have to pay the doctor bills of the people that piss me off.

[<ô> bango skank <ô>]

that is the most insane thing i ever heard. you still have to pay, either way.

[Sam]

:thumbsup:
Gotcha and understand it completely. I quit while I was working at a prison, so I could work off any stress I had by picking a fight.

[BROWNINGS CHILDE]

Dude, its a joke.

[<ô> bango skank <ô>]

no... NHS is a joke.:P

[Brice]

Actually, no I am saying that it is cheaper to smoke, because if I quit, I will have to pay the doctor bills of the people that piss me off.


This is me after about 2 hrs or so without a smoke.


Well, all except the joking part. :ninja:

[Girlystevedave]

And, pick up after himself. Okay...now...just so you all don't think that its all Mrs. Coz's fault...I do have trouble with this one. :blush:

But I'm getting better...

Haha. Well, admitting to it is the first step. I just hate to clean a room and then get up the next day and find my husband's used cereal bowl on the table, or any other crap he may have pulled out during the night. Biggest pet peeve: when he takes his socks off and leaves them all balled up in the floor. I mean, I do the laundry, and the last thing I want to do is put my hand in a dirty sock to 'unball' it to put it in the washer. :arg: I don't want to touch my own dirty socks.




okay i've angered folk. i didn't mean to be sexist or anything. i just think that men are much more willing to live like scruffy bastards. i'm quite happy to go to bed knowing that the sink is full of dirty plates. Why do today, what you can do tomorrow?

upon reflection... mabey this is why i am, once again, single.:doh:

I don't think that's being sexist. From what I've seen, men are usually more comfortable sitting in a dirty house, than women are. (Of course, it depends on the person too.) When I still worked, I'd come home and immediately start cleaning. My husband would say things like: "Just relax for a while. Do it later." But, for me..I can't relax in a dirty house. I'm just to ocd about it, I think. :orely:

[Sam]

I wish my wife were the "typical" woman. Before she moved in, the house was pretty clean. I mean, you couldn't eat off the floor, but you could see things like the chairs, the tables, the couch, the floor. Now, not so much. I've never seen anyone so messy. She just sets stuff down whereever she can reach at that moment and forgets about it. And then asks me where the Visa bill is.><:angry::pullhair::arg:

[Jon]

I do these household chores. I also work on the car, do "Man's" work around the home but... wifey is always a BIG force in working on the car and home improvement. I have the knowledge but my shaky hands prevent me from doing the actual work on the car and home improvement. So I educate wifey on how to do such things, all the little tricks, and she does them while I hold the flashlight.

[Ves'Ka Gan]

Sam--I really don't think its necessary to lecture me on smoking while pregnant when I've already stated I'm not smoking, nor is this thread about smoking, nor is my health decisions while pregnant any one else's business, unless I should choose to share. [ /off-topic] :fairy:

[Sam]

Ves, my intent was not to lecture you, and I am very sorry it looked that way. You are correct that it's no one's business unless you decide to share.

Again, I'm sorry it seemed I was lecturing.

[Jon]

I don't think that's being sexist. From what I've seen, men are usually more comfortable sitting in a dirty house, than women are. (Of course, it depends on the person too.) When I still worked, I'd come home and immediately start cleaning. My husband would say things like: "Just relax for a while. Do it later." But, for me..I can't relax in a dirty house. I'm just to ocd about it, I think. :orely:

You haven't lived with ALL men. I find that my mindset is much like yours in that I too, can't relax in a dirty house. Wifey, however is quite the accomplished slob.

[cozener]

I don't think that's being sexist. From what I've seen, men are usually more comfortable sitting in a dirty house, than women are. (Of course, it depends on the person too.) When I still worked, I'd come home and immediately start cleaning. My husband would say things like: "Just relax for a while. Do it later." But, for me..I can't relax in a dirty house. I'm just to ocd about it, I think. :orely:

You haven't lived with ALL men. I find that my mindset is much like yours in that I too, can't relax in a dirty house. Wifey, however is quite the accomplished slob. But Jon, she's talking about straight men. :P

[turtlex]

I would like to invite all you OCD cleaning people over to my apartment to help me dust off my collectibles!

:grouphug:

[Ves'Ka Gan]

I don't think that's being sexist. From what I've seen, men are usually more comfortable sitting in a dirty house, than women are. (Of course, it depends on the person too.) When I still worked, I'd come home and immediately start cleaning. My husband would say things like: "Just relax for a while. Do it later." But, for me..I can't relax in a dirty house. I'm just to ocd about it, I think. :orely:

You haven't lived with ALL men. I find that my mindset is much like yours in that I too, can't relax in a dirty house. Wifey, however is quite the accomplished slob.

Mr.Ves is like this, too. If I don't have everything done by Friday night, he will spend Saturday doing it--and that really sucks.

[BROWNINGS CHILDE]

If the house isnt clean by friday night.....I will still spend saturday drinking.

[Odetta]

I don't think that's being sexist. From what I've seen, men are usually more comfortable sitting in a dirty house, than women are. (Of course, it depends on the person too.) When I still worked, I'd come home and immediately start cleaning. My husband would say things like: "Just relax for a while. Do it later." But, for me..I can't relax in a dirty house. I'm just to ocd about it, I think. :orely:

You haven't lived with ALL men. I find that my mindset is much like yours in that I too, can't relax in a dirty house. Wifey, however is quite the accomplished slob.

get over here and clean my house, mister! :pirate:

[Ves'Ka Gan]

If the house isnt clean by friday night.....I will still spend saturday drinking.


Hahaha...well that might suck as much as having the hubbs compulsively cleaningand then bitching he never gets to relax on his day off--unless we were drinking together, of course.

[Girlystevedave]

Yeah..I don't mean that ALL men are like that. I'm just saying that in my experience with male roommates, they are usually more apt to relax in a dirty house.

I wasn't trying to be sexist in my post. :P

[Jean]

My wife works earns more than I do, and she works more than I do: longer hours and every weekday; so it's natural that I do everything about the house. I don't let her do anything unless it's something she actually wants, like sometimes cooking something interesting. I wouldn't dream, not even in a nightmare, to think about any "fair" sharing of the duties (in accordance, for example, with who works how much and how tired they get at work and how much home preparation the work requires), it wouldn't somehow seem decent. We both do what we really can, and it pleases both of us.

[ola]

Jean, you are a true gentleman. Err I mean... gentlebear?

With housework, my number one goal is to avoid confrontations about who does what. My parents were always screaming at each other about stuff like that, so I'd rather be a little overloaded (or have the house messy) than nag about it. Both me and my boyfriend have unpredictable work loads (no children either, just a bunny), so we can get away with letting everything go until we have company over.

[Sam]

Well, cleaning up after a bunny can be quite the chore. For several years after my mother's rabbit dies we kept finding little rabbit droppings all over the house in places we thought she couldn't go. Behind furniture, inside closets, under beds, under dressers (one that actually touched the floor, how she got under that one I'll never know), and other various and sundry places. Oh, and she loved chewing any and all electrical cords she could find whether they were plugged in or not. I kept expecting to come home one day to find a little white spot in the carpet with the edges black and smoking.

[ola]

Well, cleaning up after a bunny can be quite the chore. For several years after my mother's rabbit dies we kept finding little rabbit droppings all over the house in places we thought she couldn't go. Behind furniture, inside closets, under beds, under dressers (one that actually touched the floor, how she got under that one I'll never know), and other various and sundry places. Oh, and she loved chewing any and all electrical cords she could find whether they were plugged in or not. I kept expecting to come home one day to find a little white spot in the carpet with the edges black and smoking.

Hoo yes. All of that is very familiar, mystery poops included. :lol: We just bought miles more cable wrap for everything, but she still finds things to chew and sneak behind!

[Sam]

My father ran a pvc through the floor to put the satellite cables through. It stood four feet tall, and he also attached another pipe to the wall on a diagonal and ran the power cables from the outlets to the tv stand. Rabbit proofing the rest of the house was a little more extensive. Fortunately this was before they got the computer.

No rabbits now.

[Jon]

I wasn't trying to be sexist in my post. :P


You weren't trying; but you sure managed! :P:wtf:

[Girlystevedave]

Haha! My bad. :couple:

[Erin]

*another revived thread because I think this topic is interesting*

My husband and I are really good about sharing chores and household duties. I cook dinners throughout the weekdays (because I get off work much earlier than him) and he cooks on weekends. I always do the dishes and he always mows the yard. For big outdoor projects like planting flowers, mulching, ect... we do it together. We fold laundry together (it goes so much faster that way). We're both pretty neat, so throughout the week, we both pick up after ourselves. Every other Sunday, we do a big house clean (cleaning toilets, showers, vacuuming rugs, mopping hardwood floors, dusting, etc...) together. With both of us working, it takes about 2 hours to do.

The only thing I do by myself is take care of the animals. I clean the cat litter boxes and do all the routine animal care stuff. I know Jason would help me if I asked, but they were my pets before we got together, so I don't expect him to do this stuff.

[The Road Virus]

Generally, I eat the pussy and she sucks the big ole D... :harrier: :lol:

Moderator's comment: this was spoiler-tagged for explicit content. Virus, my blue-eyed son, next time when under influence, PLEASE restrict your activities to the Everybody Must Get Stoner thread. http://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k291/mishemplushem/Facilitation/bear_cool.gif