Faux Pas

[Matt]

This is a thread for those funny screw ups people have made.

I was teaching customer service and writing characteristics people don't like when dealing with salespeople.

Obviously "pushy" is very common

I turned around and wrote "pussy" on the board. Once I noticed (because of shocked looks from the students), I tried to save it by saying I didn't like that either

(meaning salespeople who are pussies)

And someone from the crowd said...

"you don't like that?" (meaning pussy)

"NO!...I like that!!"

:lol:

next

[Hannah]

:rofl: Wow. That made me laugh so hard that a coworker told me to "forward her whatever I was laughing about". :arg:

It's a small one, but: one time my friend met this guy at the bar and wanted to go hang out with him and his buddies after closing. I had to pee, so we went to the 24 hour KMart by the bar. The guys were in their car waiting for us, and my friend decided it was necessary to start making out with the guy she liked in the KMart parking lot. Being as bored as I was I started talking to the two guys in their car. One of the guys kept looking at the back driver side window as I was talking to him. He was in the passenger seat of the car. Finally, I'm tired of him looking at the window and not at me, because I kept looking back thinking there was something back there. So I said, "Hey man, what's so damn interesting about that window? Can you stop looking at the damn window?"

Turns out the guy had a lazy eye. Oops.

This story also shows that my friend has bad taste in men.

[Rjeso]

Dude, Matt, that's hilarious! Way to be. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v123/silver_phoenix11/smileys/thumbsup.gif

[Matt]

:D

Thanks

I can't believe no one else has an embarrassing story about themselves. :rolleyes:

[Ruki]

i'm sure i'll have one sooner or later, i do a lot of dumb stuff :)

that first post is the funniest thing i've seen in months.

[Bethany]

I am notorious for getting all tang toungled and I really don't know how I managed to score a job in broadcasting. For 4 years, the Secretary General of the UN was the "sevretary genital" and Loyola Marymount more often than not was "Lola Marymart". And we won't even talk about the butchering of all the names I did.

[Ka-mai]

Once Matt and I were walking through shops and we saw a display of knockoff Crocs, and I said, "Geez, if you're going to make a knockoff of something, why would you do Crocs? They're freaking hideous." Turns out the woman three feet away from us was wearing them....

[OchrisO]

She certainly needed to know that she was in the wrong for wearing those friggin' ugly shoes. I say good call, not faux pas. I enjoy talking about how crocs are ugly and represent the downfall of society in a really loud voice when there are people who wear them nearby. :)

[Jean]

I have googled them!

... shit... will I ever learn????

[Ka-mai]

:lol: Yay Chris!

I find myself doing this type of thing all the time, i.e.: Going off on rants about how ____ sucks, and then finding out that I'm near someone who obviously does not feel that way, and then I feel bad... also I tend to get loud when I rant and then I get kind of embarrassed when I realize that everyone for two blocks heard me saying how girls who wear words on the back of their shorts are whores and also it makes their butts look HUGE (it does!). *cough*

:unsure:

[OchrisO]

Haha. I think we would get along great in person.

[jayson]

i have a friend who once humiliated himself in front of a bunch of musicians by telling the organ player "i'm a real sucker for organ" :dance: true story.

[jayson]

I enjoy talking about how crocs are ugly and represent the downfall of society in a really loud voice when there are people who wear them nearby. :)

i choose my own comfort over society any day of the week. what has society ever done for me? :lol:

[OchrisO]

I was in Wal-Mart a while back with a friend and we were in electronics and it was crammed full of people. We were trying to look at PC games and there were people everywhere. I started ranting about it rather loudly as I was wading through them, something to the tune of "Jesus Fucking Christ, is it Christmas or something? People are asshole to elbow over here and none of them look like nerdy gamers. I have a personal bubble of three feet around me and all of these fuckers keep violating it." Then I realized that my friend had gotten way ahead of me and was laughing his ass off. It was great.

That same day, we were also in toys looking around. I was saying something about a toy and some parent was walking by looking my way. I then pointed out to my friend how I love that we stand in toys, cussing rather loudly, because we don't even notice when when we do it, then the same lady walked by again and her kid comes running down the aisle and I go, this time on purpose, "Gooooooddaaaaaaamn, what kind of fucking toy is this? Can you believe this shit?!?" because I like to make people feel uncomfortable in social situations. It is the bread and butter of my existence.

[OchrisO]

I enjoy talking about how crocs are ugly and represent the downfall of society in a really loud voice when there are people who wear them nearby. :)

i choose my own comfort over society any day of the week. what has society ever done for me? :lol:


Well, by the downfall of society, I mean that the fact that so many people choose to wear such hideous shoes, primarily just because other people are, it shows the mentality that is behind the general decline of learned society and high culture.

[Girlystevedave]

I got a kick out of this at work one day. I work at an animal clinic and whenever clients are being checked out, the files are passed to me. Well, the doctor had just finished seeing a dog that was overweight and needed to be on a diet. Instead of writing that, the doctor wrote: "Advised Owner to lose weight."
I was just like, wow, are we allowed to talk to people like that?

[Telynn]

At college, Freshman year. The teacher was giving back papers we had written. (back then you actually wrote your papers by hand, none of this print it off the printer stuff.) As he is handing them out he talks about the need to double check your work very carefully because sometimes mistakes can be really embarrassing. He says that right as he is handing me my paper. I saw where he had circled the word public, only I had left out the L. Of course after class everyone wanted to see what was on my paper but I beat it out of there too fast for any of them to see.

[Woofer]

When I was a freshman in college, I ran into a friend I'd not seen in a year. He was all decked out in the latest cool fashions, so I said "Hey, Bo, who died and left you a ton money?" He said "My mom."

[Kevin]

After a KY commercial my brother asked whether it was perfume. :rofl:

[Míchéal]

lol

[alinda]

Ok. Here's one that happened @ the hospital
again. Some of our rooms are semi-private, and
have a bathroom that is shared by both patients.
Somebody ( not me) administered a laxitive to
both of the patients @ the same time not thinking
of the messey situation that would follow, when said
medication took effect. The one fellow says to me
"WHAT can I do? "I'm about to explode, and my roomies
in the john "....I pointed to the staff facilities across the
hall, and indicated he'd better secretly use that WC.
:nope: Honestly can't understand what the nurse was thinking!

[Brice]

THAT is seriously fucked up. :lol:

Edit: I'm sure it wasn't funny for that poor guy though.

[Odetta]

I enjoy talking about how crocs are ugly and represent the downfall of society in a really loud voice when there are people who wear them nearby. :)

i choose my own comfort over society any day of the week. what has society ever done for me? :lol:


Well, by the downfall of society, I mean that the fact that so many people choose to wear such hideous shoes, primarily just because other people are, it shows the mentality that is behind the general decline of learned society and high culture.

and THAT, sir, is why I love you!

[Lance]

An old hs friend sent me a youtube clip last year that had this horrible goth band that played '80's style cheese metal while this chick sung like an opera singer. I thought she sent it to me as a joke and I messaged her back saying that it made my day. I laughed my ass off, it was so bad, that had to be one of the worst sounds I've ever heard in my life, and on and on.

She messaged me back and told that was her cousins' band.

[Kevin]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

On a scale of 1-10, thats pretty radtacular. :lol:

[Kevin]

Which reminds me of another story. A friend of mine (not the sharpest tool in the shed) was trying to impress this girl by being learn'd. The girl was is a bit of a fashionista, dresses very uniquely. So my friend is making small talk and he says 'you're looking very fashion faux pas today.', intending it as a compliment.

Nobody heard but me and the girl, we kind of looked at each other and decided to save him the emarassment. :lol:

[Jean]

when I was about 15 (and sure that everyone was just dying to hear my opinion on any subject) I told an old lady I had just met about how a Soviet composer (I won't tell his name now: he recently died, and I may have been mistaken after all) stole one of his famous tunes from Nino Rota; I was proving it by whistling and singing, while she listened with apparent interest.
Later my grandmother told me it was the composer's aunt...

[Daghain]

Owwww.....

[LadyHitchhiker]

I remember working a McDonald's and sometimes my ears play tricks on me. One of the workers was screaming they needed regular chicken and I'm like, "What do you mean you need lesbian chicken?!?!" cuz that's what I heard.

[Ka-mai]

When I was a freshman in college, I ran into a friend I'd not seen in a year. He was all decked out in the latest cool fashions, so I said "Hey, Bo, who died and left you a ton money?" He said "My mom."

Best. Story. Ever.

[Lance]

This one's a little different but it's still a tale of public humiliation so I'm sure some of you will enjoy it. :P One night when I was in college I got off work at this restuarant/bar that I worked at and decided I'd get shit faced and wait for my friend Heather to get off of work (she was closing) so I could get a ride home. Well I was amazingly successful at my goal. At the point where the bar part was the fullest of the evening, I ended up leaning too far back on my bar stool and fell straight back to the floor. And these were really tall stools. As lively and loud as the conversation had been, it still became quiet immediatly. I then got up, paid my tab, and went out to the parking lot and sat down with my back against Heathers car and hid until she got off of work.

[bergy81]

What's the most embarrassing thing thats ever happened to you?

My most embarrassing moment had to of been last christmas. Every year I take my son and niece to fantasyland, it's this place thats decorated with christmas displays and the kids can see santa. We were there on christmas eve and the place was packed, I mean there was literally like 100 people in line to see santa. We waited in line for what seemed like hours and finally made it up to the big guy. First my son sat on his lap and, well you know the routine. Next, my niece, who is about 6yrs old, climbed up on the fat man's lap. Santa began to ask her what she wanted for christmas, when all of the sudden she puked all over him! There was puke in his beard,on his shirt, his pants, it was all over him. We had eaten dinner at burger king and you could see all the little chunks of meat, lettuce, tomatos, and fries all mixed with strawberry milkshake. You could even see the treat she got with her kids meal stuck in his beard, little slimey half-digested gummy bears! I picked her up, careful not to get any barf on myself, apologized to everyone there and took off like a bat out of hell. I just hope they had another santa suit for the guy.

[Randall Flagg]

Bergy, I merged this with the Faux Pas thread.

[Unfound One]

In high school I saw my best friend down the hall talking to someone with her back towards me so I thought I'd surprise her by sneaking up behind her and smacking her ass.
So I did - and I mean I smacked her ass, really fuckin' hard.
She screamed and turned around.
It definitely wasn't my friend.
I was mortified - I'd never seen this girl before.
Awesome.

[OchrisO]

In high school I saw my best friend down the hall talking to someone with her back towards me so I thought I'd surprise her by sneaking up behind her and smacking her ass.
So I did - and I mean I smacked her ass, really fuckin' hard.
She screamed and turned around.
It definitely wasn't my friend.
I was mortified - I'd never seen this girl before.
Awesome.

Hahaha. Did you just run away?

[Unfound One]

Heh.
I looked at her, mumbled something like "it was a dare," then got the hell outta dodge.
Ughhh...

[bergy81]

:rofl: I could never get away with something like that. Being a man, I'd probably be charged with sexual assault.:rofl:

[Brice]

Oh my fuckin god! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Unfound One]

:lol:
I can look back and laugh now, but damn, on that day I just wanted to vanish forever.

[Ka-mai]

:rofl:

Once I was late for class after an orthodontist appointment, so I knelt down and picked up a ton of books and shit from my locker (we couldn't have backpacks) and tried to get up off the floor, well I was wearing stupid clog shoes and I slipped, fell, all my stuff went everywhere and my shoe flew across the hall. All in front of an attractive older guy. He was kind of nice about helping me out, but being a totally unattractive, loser 7th grader I kind of freaked. I doubt he remembered it two hours from then though. :P