Roland at the McDonald's - worst ending ever /main spoilers/

[razz]

NOW we have a winner!
*dies laughing*

[Ves'Ka Gan]

:rose::rose::rose::rose::naked dancing roland::rose::rose::rose::rose:

[Letti]

Roland opens the door and he enters the Cube.

http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJvoGFPwn2U


(If you have seen that movie you know what I mean...)

[LadyHitchhiker]

Roland opens the door and hears the distinct music of people's court...

"Roland, you have been accused with lawful destruction of property. Do you have a countersuit?" Jude Mulian asks.

[razz]

an on that note:

"...then he had a demon rape my friend, so she would have a kid, that was supposed to kill me, and-"
"Shut up! i don't believe you"

Roland ended up in Judge Judy's courtrom.

[LadyHitchhiker]

LOL!!! I can just see him wordslinging with Judy!!!

[LadyHitchhiker]

Roland opens the door and sees a man.
http://www.nypress.com/images/can%20you%20see%20jesus.jpg
"Hello Roland, I am Jesus," announces the ethereal looking man.

Roland hands Jesus the compass he has carried all this way all through his journey.

http://nihilobstat.info/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/jesus-break-bread.jpg

"Thanks," smiles Jesus. "I was looking for this. You may go now."

Jesus closes the door.

http://elines.info/GettingStarted/HP%20pics/Misc%20pics%20to%20be%20included/closed%20door,%20smaller.gif

Roland scratches his head. "What do I do now?"

[The Lady of Shadows]

:lol:

i wondered if anybody would post something about that.

:lol:

[LadyHitchhiker]

I'm starting to reread the gunslinger and it popped in my head when he got the compass and I was rolling in the back room on break nearly peeing my pants it had come across so funny to me.

[razz]

:wtf:
that
was
fucking
BRILLIANT!

[LadyHitchhiker]

:nana: I do what I can :nana:

[The Lady of Shadows]

roland opens the door to see three men apparently dancing the commala on a strange white box:

http://i278.photobucket.com/albums/kk95/turtlesong/gettingevenoficespacestyle.jpg

[LadyHitchhiker]

:rofl:

I love you!!!

[ladykatherine]

hahahaha
that was good turtle!
:P

[TheMightyMonarch]

Jean, your "can opener" ending is probably the best one, because in the other ones Roland actually opens the door....In this one, he doesn't even get there. Sure, some might not even consider that and ending, but hey, it's the closest he's going to get to opening the door without actually doing it, and that's why it's genius. I don't even think Gan could have predicted that.

[Jean]

http://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k291/mishemplushem/Facilitation/bear_sara05.gif

[Letti]

Jean, your "can opener" ending is probably the best one, because in the other ones Roland actually opens the door....In this one, he doesn't even get there. Sure, some might not even consider that and ending, but hey, it's the closest he's going to get to opening the door without actually doing it, and that's why it's genius. I don't even think Gan could have predicted that.

Yeah, I feel absolutely the same way. When I read it I didn't know if I should start to cry or start to laugh..

[LadyHitchhiker]

Exactly :wub: Jean's a genius.

[Jean]

::modestly bows::

I wouldn't underestimate human heritage accumulated in this thread, though.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Roland gets to the end of his voyage and walks up to the door. He opens the door and sees this beautiful creature:
http://www.1066online.com/HASTINGS-MAIN/Places-to-Visit/visit-sussex/images/Ashdown-Llama-Park.jpg
who promptly spits on him, and tells him to get another bathroom.

[The Lady of Shadows]

http://i278.photobucket.com/albums/kk95/turtlesong/smilies/coffee_spray-1.gif

[sfischer]

Letti i have seen the cube...that would be funny.

1. Roland steps through the door onto the set of a cheaply made porn starring Barack Obama. "oops wrong dark tower" he mumbles

or

2. ....finds all the ones hes loved and lost. While greeting them all he sees but fails to notice the significance of a faded sign that states "Welcome to 'Salems Lot"

3. I was never into Lord of the Rings, but Roland could be sent on a LOTR-like quest.

4. When Roland reaches the top he sees two men and a woman and some kind of worm hole. They jump into the worm hold and it disappears, leaving Roland and an empty room....no doors :cry:

[ladykatherine]

Roland steps through the door and enters a dark room. He hears someone whisper:
lumos.
"Dammit."

[ladykatherine]

(I just realized, maybe not everyone understood the reference. Sorry!

Harry Potter! mwa ha ha

[mystima]

roland steps through the door and he is transported to a train station where a woman with red hair is yelling at her kids saying "there's always muggles around. platform 9 &3\4 this way"

[ladykatherine]

that was a better reference than mine. good job!
:rock:

[mystima]

that was a better reference than mine. good job!
:rock:

thank ya

[Fangon]

Roland steps through the door and finds himself in a forest. Surrounding him are short, pointy-eared beings and wolves. One with silver hair leaps at him with drawn sword, screaming "Dirty five-finger!" Roland hears a blond one scream "Skywise, wait!" before he is stabbed and dies.

[Letti]

Roland steps through the door.
He doesn't recognise the place he enters because he has never been in a bank before. It isn't a bank anyway but their system is quite similar. A big man in a blue uniform goes to him and asks him to pull a number from the machine in the corner.
"Thank ya, sai. Long days and pleasant nights." - says Roland.
The Man in Blue starts to laugh: "Yeah, long days that thing is sure, buddy." - and he goes away with a big smile on his face.
Roland checks the strange peice of paper. His number is: 74.981.012
On the board he can see that the last called number was 19. Roland sits down and starts to wait.

[The Lady of Shadows]

roland steps through the door and is immediately surrounded by a murder of preteen girls all screaming

"is it time?" "is it time?" "will he let us in?" "will he let us in?" "can he open the doors?" "can he open the doors?"

he looks up and there, in the distance, hanging from the ceiling is a sign that simply reads


advanced screening
tonight only
TWILIGHT

having no gun with which to shoot himself, roland of gilead, the last gunslinger, hurls himself from the window at the top of the tower having met defeat in the presence of a murder of preteen girls.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Roland is transported through a door into a strange place.

A person in a strange outfit approaches him and asks, "can I take your order please?"

He looks out the window and sees this sign:

http://i103.piczo.com/view/2/g/9/d/j/u/r/d/z/3/p/t/img/i210454223_52050_2.gif

Have these people mistaken him as their God? Where is this strange place? And the aroma is equally disgusting and equally intoxicating.

[LadyHitchhiker]

(I love that Twilight bit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

[The Lady of Shadows]

lizzie, you actually put him in mcdonald's! i fucking love it. hope that they don't put mayonnaise on his sandwiches. wonder what he'll do when he realizes that they don't have tooterfish?

:lol:
:clap:
:clap:
:thumbsup:

[razz]

find the nearest cop, stun him, take his gun, and go on a killin' spree.

[The Lady of Shadows]

:shoot:

[Empath of the White]

Roland opens the door and finds himself in the middle of some foggy woods somewhere in Spain. Its fall. There's a slight chill in the air. Its eerily quiet. A crow on a nearby sign post caws. Without a moment's hesitation Roland blows it away. Amid the explosion of feathers he sees something: a box of ammo. He kneels and picks it up.

Suddenly an irritating warbling sound fills the air. Further down the path Roland sees the source of the warbling: a thinny. From the thinny steps Shinji Mikami.

"Roland Deschain, are you a bad enough motherfucker to face down the Emperor, Rasputin, Napoleon, and rescue the president's daughter?!!!?!?!"

[razz]

RE4 Roland? sounds fun! :lol:

[TheMightyMonarch]

Woah, what was Ka's post about? It sounds like a William Sleator book.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Roland opens the door and sees a young girl.

"DADDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screams the little girl. "Where have you been? We're just opening presents! It's Christmas you know."

Christmas? What is Christmas?

[LadyHitchhiker]

Roland opens the door and is in a strange building with a lot of machinery. A flustered man with a tie appears. "Oh thank God you're here. No one else has shown up for his interview. You can start right away, can't you? I mean your resumee was amazing and-"

Roland listens to the man babble on, still stuck on the word interview. What does that mean? And resumee? It sounded like a prostitute's name! And what would he be starting?

[razz]

...
sorry, but I don't get it.
:(

[Letti]

Roland opens the door.
Flagg is standing at the other side with a huge tricky smile on his face.
"What are you doing here? Are you ready to die?" - says Roland and his hands are moving to his beautiful and ancient gun.
"You aren't going to kill me, Roland." - says Flagg calmly.
"Why not?"
"Because I am your father."

*end*

[The Lady of Shadows]

the door opens on a lush green meadow. surrounding it is a strange road, unlike any roland has seen before. perhaps it's the strength of the sun that makes the road appear so golden.

sudden movement from the left makes roland dip for his guns, but alas he carries no guns. the one he had left is resting at the foot of the tower. susannah carried the other with her through the last door.

the movement is approaching and it's a tiny a person. it's several tiny people. the tiniest people roland has ever seen. and before roland's stunned and unbelieving eyes they begin to sway and sounds emminate from their lips:




We Represent the Lollipop Guild
The Lollipop Guild
The Lollipop Guild
And in the name of
The Lollipop Guild
We're here to welcome you to Munchkin Land

[razz]

Roland climbs the tower, going in circles for miles. he look into each room and sees faces, eventually he stops looking. he finally reaches the top of the tower. at the top is a door that's marked Roland. Sweat is dripping down his face and into his eyes. he wipes it away with his sleeve and grasps the knob. he grabs the door knob with his right hand and it slips off. he grabs it with his left hand, and this time he turns the knob and the door slides open. he is immediately surrounded by a bright light, and he shields his eyes. he tries squinting for a moment, and it doesn't help. then he feels like something is pulling him, maybe Gan, or the force of the Tower. He stands there for a moment before the pull is too strong, and that is when he walks blindly, his hands over his eyes, through the doorway.

When Roland opens his eyes, his first thought is that he's in back in Mejis, that maybe the tower had given him a chance to be at peace, and he is back at the time his quest truly started. He thinks that maybe this is what his reward; Susan wasn't dead yet, wasn't burned, and he'd been given a chance to save her. Then he begins looking around, and his heart sinks. This isn't the Western Baronies, at least not the ones he knew. And the light. It seems too dark, like he's Todash. he stands up and feels nauseous. he walks over to a tree and leans against it for balance. it's definitely there. He lifts up a foot, and sees his boot print in the grass. He's definitely not Todash. He leans there for a moment longer, then movement catches his eye. He reaches for his gun, just in case, but it's not here. Stupid!, he thinks, The guns is at the foot of the tower! he looks around for a weapon, then sees a low hanging branch on his tree, and jumps onto it, pulling and swinging until it breaks with a harsh CRACK!
Roland immediately drops to the ground and hides behind the tree and peeks out. There is no sign that whatever is moving in the distance has heard him, so he picks up his club, and begins to sneak through the trees, until he is close enough to hear what is moving. But he can't see them, as they are now hidden by foliage. he uses his club to clear a small just big enough for him to see though, and sees...

YouTube - Charlie The Unicorn

[LadyHitchhiker]

...
sorry, but I don't get it.
:(

Roland gets to the end of his quest and he's at a job interview??? I thought that was funny...

[LadyHitchhiker]

Roland opens the door.
Flagg is standing at the other side with a huge tricky smile on his face.
"What are you doing here? Are you ready to die?" - says Roland and his hands are moving to his beautiful and ancient gun.
"You aren't going to kill me, Roland." - says Flagg calmly.
"Why not?"
"Because I am your father."

*end*

I nearly died reading this. This was amazing.

[mystima]

Roland opens the door.
Flagg is standing at the other side with a huge tricky smile on his face.
"What are you doing here? Are you ready to die?" - says Roland and his hands are moving to his beautiful and ancient gun.
"You aren't going to kill me, Roland." - says Flagg calmly.
"Why not?"
"Because I am your father."

*end*



"roland" heavy breathing
"i am your father" more heavy breathing.....lmao:panic::rofl:

[Letti]

Roland opens the door.
Flagg is standing at the other side with a huge tricky smile on his face.
"What are you doing here? Are you ready to die?" - says Roland and his hands are moving to his beautiful and ancient gun.
"You aren't going to kill me, Roland." - says Flagg calmly.
"Why not?"
"Because I am your father."

*end*



"roland" heavy breathing
"i am your father" more heavy breathing.....lmao:panic::rofl:



Roland opens the door.
Flagg is standing at the other side with a huge tricky smile on his face.
"What are you doing here? Are you ready to die?" - says Roland and his hands are moving to his beautiful and ancient gun.
"You aren't going to kill me, Roland." - says Flagg calmly.
"Why not?"
"Because I am your father."

*end*

I nearly died reading this. This was amazing.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

:grouphug:

[Ves'Ka Gan]

:wtf: The Lollipop Guild?! Priceles :rofl:

[Chap]

Didn't read the whole thread, so forgive me if someone already said this:

a. Roland enters the tower and finds himself to be Bruce Lees first obstacle in the Tower of Death (or was it game of death?)
There's even a picture of them, here long, tall and ugly himself:
http://i118.photobucket.com/albums/o98/tsdobbi/BruceLee3.jpg

b. Roland enters the Tower and is met by a screaming Gandalf: "YOOOU SHALL NOT PAASS!"

[Diggity Of The Eld]

Roland climbs the last 19 steps and sees a door. The door says Funkytown. He opens the door, and the hands of Gan pull him through to Funkytown.

[jayson]

Didn't read the whole thread, so forgive me if someone already said this:

a. Roland enters the tower and finds himself to be Bruce Lees first obstacle in the Tower of Death (or was it game of death?)
There's even a picture of them, here long, tall and ugly himself:
http://i118.photobucket.com/albums/o98/tsdobbi/BruceLee3.jpg

It is Game of Death, but +1 for using the pic of Bruce Lee fighting Kareem. I love that scene. I'm still not sure why the people who made that choice thought Kareem would be all that scary, especially to Lee. I mean yes, he's seven feet tall, but so skinny. Don't get me wrong, if this were the 70's and I was a player on an opposing team, I wouldn't want to take the ball into the paint against the Lakers, but if I were a kung-fu hero, I'd snap Kareem like a twig. :ninja:

[Diggity Of The Eld]

Kareem was actually a pupil of Bruce Lee's at the time, I think they did the movie just to have some fun together on screen. :)

[LadyHitchhiker]

Roland climbs the last 19 steps and sees a door. The door says Funkytown. He opens the door, and the hands of Gan pull him through to Funkytown.

LOL I just thought of this the other night!!

[Letti]

Okay, my next one will be very cruel.

Roland opens the door. He gets shocked immediately. He sees Susannah Eddie and Jake together. They are hugging, smiling and laughing.
"We belong to each other." - days Eddie.
Roland start to cry out.
"Jake! Eddie!"
But they don't hear him. He can't hear his own voice, either. His lips are moving but he can touch the silence around him. Still he can hear the boy's words.
"And we are somehow... whole!" - says Jake with a perfect smile on his face. - "We don't need anybody else."
Roland feels that there... deep inside something has broken. He feels like and old lost watch that has spent enough time on Earth to have the power to give up.
He lets himself fall.
"Jake..." - he says and he closes his eyes. Forever.

I have told ya.

[Diggity Of The Eld]

That is depressing. I like my Funkytown ending better. :arg:

[Letti]

I've told ya.

[The Lady of Shadows]

dayum letti.




wow.

[mystima]

1. roland goes through the door and is greeted by a black man wearing a leather duster and he tells him to sit down...he has in his hands a red pill and a blue pill...he then tells roland you have a choice...take the red pill and you will be told the truth...take the blue pill and you will go on wondering is it real?

oooorrrr

2. he goes through the door and is confronted with a man in a black business suit and for some odd reason is wearing sunglasses, in the rain, at night...and he keeps calling him "Mr. Anderson"

[Jackie]

Okay, my next one will be very cruel.

Roland opens the door. He gets shocked immediately. He sees Susannah Eddie and Jake together. They are hugging, smiling and laughing.
"We belong to each other." - days Eddie.
Roland start to cry out.
"Jake! Eddie!"
But they don't hear him. He can't hear his own voice, either. His lips are moving but he can touch the silence around him. Still he can hear the boy's words.
"And we are somehow... whole!" - says Jake with a perfect smile on his face. - "We don't need anybody else."
Roland feels that there... deep inside something has broken. He feels like and old lost watch that has spent enough time on Earth to have the power to give up.
He lets himself fall.
"Jake..." - he says and he closes his eyes. Forever.

I have told ya.

That IS cruel!!

Mine where Roland gets 'Rick Rolled' is better :P

[ladykatherine]

SWEET. Roland got Rick Roll'd? hahaha nice. :evil:

*ahem*
Roland approaches the door and hears a dull thud of something mechanical and melodic. He swings the door back to find....
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/play/688/

:couple:

[mystima]

:excited::panic::rofl:
roflmao

[Empath of the White]

Roland removes his bandana wipes the sweat from his brow. The mucles in his legs have gone stiff and through the windows he can no longer see the dusky sunset. Instead he sees a nebulous blackish-purple spread with hundreds of twinkling spots too large to be stars. At one point he stops and gazes down. He no longer sees the field of Can Ka No Rey. Instead there is are clumps of roses growing over a sea of purple grass. With each step the walls grow narrower and narrower. With each landing he passes, he hears the rumblings and roaring of the unthinkable todash beasts that lie behind the doors on the landings. He stops at one landing and thinks back to the losses along the way. He wonders, what awaits at the top--Gan, his ka-tet of Gilead or the ka-tet of 1999, or perhaps a world that remembers light and love?--and then presses on.

As he climbs the final nineteen stairs the walls begin to close in until they are pressing against his shoulders. Finally he reaches a door at the apex of the stairs. The final door. The words, "FOUND", written in glyphs, mark the door. Roland reaches forward and feels an electric jolt as his fingers lock around the knob. He turns the knob, and opens the door with the reverence of a child who has arrived late for his or her school class.

There is a blinding flash of white the illuminates the Tower. In his blindess, Roland catches a sent: oily, almost fishy. Then a voice says:

"Hey there. Watcha doin' in Old Greg's Tower?"

[Bangoskank19]

Roland opens the door at the top of the stairs and walks into an empty room. He stops, stunned. In the middle of the room, a small note is on the floor. Roland walks over and picks it up with trembling hands.

-Out to lunch. BRB. -Gan

"Shit."

[Empath of the White]

Roland opens the door at the top of the stairs and walks into an empty room. He stops, stunned. In the middle of the room, a small note is on the floor. Roland walks over and picks it up with trembling hands.

-Out to lunch. BRB. -Gan

"Shit."

><
:lol::lol::lol:

Is that why Mid-World's gone to pot?

[mystima]

Roland opens door and sees this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wl6yZTIrfgM

[LadyHitchhiker]

That's funny!

How about this:

Roland walks through the door and sees this:

YouTube - MEOW MIX

[ladykatherine]

Oh hahaha I love that Meow Mix song. It drives my mom NUTS! :P
-------------
This one's lame, but it's basically from my dream last night...

Roland reached out his hand and turned the knob. The door swung open to expose a narrow, dimly lit hallway with many doors lined down far as the eye could see. Roland could hear muffled voices shouting and screaming behind various doors. He stared as a boy jogged past him in a loose bright pink suit and a girl walked the other way yelling into a metallic device. Roland turned, afraid of these creatures and swung the closest door open. He stumbled up to a girl reading on the floor.

"Tell me, is this hell?!"

"Um, no...you're in the dorms."

:beat:
I know, that's how I felt.

[LadyHitchhiker]

:rofl:

That's great!

[Lady_Macbeth]

I always thought it'd be funny if something like this happened:

He gets to the top and....
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v243/Shun_Ten_Satsu/thankyouroland.jpg?t=1228337309

/pwnt

[SigTauGimp]

I always thought it'd be funny if something like this happened:

He gets to the top and....
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v243/Shun_Ten_Satsu/thankyouroland.jpg?t=1228337309

/pwnt

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

effteedub. Fo' Sho'.

[Brice]

:lol:

[ladykatherine]

Oh noooooo!
that's so sad.
(but funny too!)
:cowboy:Good one

[ksmithcats]

Roland draws a deep and ragged breath as he reaches for the last door...the culmination of decades of hope, pain, desperation, and desire. The knob turns easily under his trembling grip. With a groan like the voice of the dead, the door slowly opens.

"SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" they all shout as light blazes forth illuminating the faces of Jake, Eddie, Susannah, Callahan, Cuthbert, Susan, Alice, and all the others he has known and loved through his whole, long life. Oy yaps and leaps, his corkscrew tail waving back and forth like a banner.


silence.....crickets chirp......

Roland's eyes bulge, his mouth hangs open, without thinking, he vomits on his shoes.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Roland walks through the door and sees a young boy imploring for his gun. The fat man in the fake beard says:
http://i407.photobucket.com/albums/pp157/ksmithcats/AChristmasStory01.jpg

Roland hands his gun to the boy. The boy shoots the man in red. Roland looks with admiration on the boy.

"I will teach you much, young gunslinger. Your aim is true." He says, then he and the boy and he walk off into the sunset together.

[SigTauGimp]

:clap::clap::rofl::rofl:

Best.Ending.Ever.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Merry effing x-mas Sigtaugimp :rose: :couple: :wub:

[SigTauGimp]

And a very Merry effing x-mas to you as well, LadyH. :couple:

[LadyHitchhiker]

There should be a song like that (singing to tune of All I want for x-mas is you by mariah carey)

Merry effing christmas to you
you baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't want a lot for christmas
there is just one thing I need
a red rider b b gun
underneath my christmas tree
I just want it for my own
more than I could ever know
make my wish come true
merry effing christmas
to you!!!!!!!!!!!!

:nana: :nana: :nana:
:wtf: I'm surprised what comes out of my head sometimes.

Thank Gan for smilies or I might seem in a bad mood for this Christmas stuff ;)

[Billy-Bumbler]

There is a merry effing christmas south park song with Mr. Garrison :dance:

[The Lady of Shadows]

roland has heard the todash chimes the entire trip to the top of the tower. as he finally reaches the top, they are so loud he fears his head will explode. he pushes open the door and sees this (apparently embedding is not allowed so click the link at the top to watch the video):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmOML7FbUh0

[SigTauGimp]

:rofl::rofl:

[LadyHitchhiker]

That was hysterical!!!!!!!!!!

[razz]

Roland reaches the top of the tower, and opens the door, to see where King REALLY gets his ideas from
http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2009/1/2/128753800864847995.jpg

[The Lady of Shadows]

:lol:

but everybody knows it's really his corgi! :P

[Nightfall]

Roland reaches the top of the tower, and opens the door at the top to find out that he is MC Hammer in a cowboy costume, and every book was just another part of the script for a music video.

[Ves'Ka Gan]

:wtf: That's quite posibly the most horrifying thing I have ever read. MC Hammer? :shivers:

[Brice]

:scared:

[ladykatherine]

woah.
i agree. mchammer? hehehehe.
nightfall, that was nutty, thanks for hurting my brain.
:wtf:

[LadyHitchhiker]

Roland gets to the end of his long arduous journey. He reaches for the door handle at the top of the tower. He opens the door, and he sees a world of people like this:

http://www.blog.lessrain.com/wp-content/upload/hasselhoff.jpg

[Billy-Bumbler]

Roland reaches the top and reaches for the door handle, only to be shot five times in the back by the Aflack duck before he can touch it :rock:

[idk, my bff jill?]

I think it would have sucked if Roland, once inside the Tower, took a good look at it, said, "That is WAY taller than I thought it would be. Fuck. That," and walked away.

[boomstick75]

Roland opens the door to see all of his loved ones smiling at him, their arms outstretched. Roland looks down to realize that he isn't wearing any pants. Awkward.

[Letti]

Roland opens the door to see all of his loved ones smiling at him, their arms outstretched. Roland looks down to realize that he isn't wearing any pants. Awkward.

:wtf:
Indeed, it is.

[LadyHitchhiker]

LMAO.... No pants.... That's great..

and the tower being too tall? That's hysterical...

What would suck if he opens the door at the top of the tower, goes through and is back on the Blaine train again.... Without Eddie to help him beat Blaine...

[Ste Letto]

Roland opens the door and sees a white neon light. He looks around and sees hospital equipment. A nurse looks down. She smiles. She says "Hello Mr King, I'm glad you're finally awake."

Stephen looks around the room.

A black girl, a friend from Maine who looks a lot like Susannah, her name is Susannah says "Welcome back sugar."

This goes on with everyone from the Ka Tet reflected in their "real world" personna.

It was all a dream in a coma!

[Jean]

Roland opens the door and sees a white neon light. He looks around and sees hospital equipment. A nurse looks down. She smiles. She says "Hello Mr King, I'm glad you're finally awake."

Stephen looks around the room.

A black girl, a friend from Maine who looks a lot like Susannah, her name is Susannah says "Welcome back sugar."

This goes on with everyone from the Ka Tet reflected in their "real world" personna.

It was all a dream in a coma!
http://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k291/mishemplushem/Facilitation/bearmood_hahaha.gif see what I posted a year ago:


Roland wakes up in a psychiatric clinic. A doctor with strong Austrian accent speaks to him softly and soothingly. We find out that it was all delirium of a LA cop who went mad after, being unable to solve the Gordian knot of neurotic inclinations and childhood inhibitions, aggravated by midlife crisis, he had shot half the population of a LA suburb.

His mother, Susannah, and his estranged son, Jake, are waiting for him in the lobby.

(I could go on but I might puke... sorry)

[flaggwalkstheline]

Roland Goes to the top of the tower and looks in a mirror where he sees Walter looking back, he reveals that the entire thing was the man in black tricking and murdering people and that roland was simply his subconscious trying to make him be good, flagg takes over existence since getting to the top erased the voice in his head which had been telling him to be good (ID roland)

Now THAT is a super-crappy-fucka-licious-extra-stupid-bullshit ending:P

[Chap]

Roland climbs the stairs in the tower, on the last section of them he trips and knocks his head against one of the steps, and dies.

-the end :P

[Letti]

Roland climbs the stairs in the tower, on the last section of them he trips and knocks his head against one of the steps, and dies.

-the end :P

good
good
I mean
:panic:

[SigTauGimp]

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

[Jaztastic]

Roland reaches the top of the Tower and opens the door, behind it is another door, behind THAT is another door, then another one, and another one...

[ImprisonedNtheDarkTower]

Roland opens the door at the top of the Tower and steps out onto the set of "The Oprah Winfrey Show" where he jumps up and down on the couch dancing the commala and screaming " I love Susan Delgado" at the top of his lungs.

Hell comes in many different forms!

That was a funny ending. nice imagination :)


Ok...here's mine. Roland opens the door and finds a tape recorder hanging just inside. He notices the tape inside says "Play Me" After he hits the play button, he hears Jigsaw from the Saw Series. Telling him that he must pass a few test, before freedom is obtained. Oh yes, there will be blood. LMAO

[Letti]

Roland opens the door at the top of the Tower and steps out onto the set of "The Oprah Winfrey Show" where he jumps up and down on the couch dancing the commala and screaming " I love Susan Delgado" at the top of his lungs.

Hell comes in many different forms!

That was a funny ending. nice imagination :)

Yeah, I haven't read it for ahile but it's still kickass. :lol:



Ok...here's mine. Roland opens the door and finds a tape recorder hanging just inside. He notices the tape inside says "Play Me" After he hits the play button, he hears Jigsaw from the Saw Series. Telling him that he must pass a few test, before freedom is obtained. Oh yes, there will be blood. LMAO

Good one. :D Anyway I guess Roland would end Jigsaw's little play forever very quickly.

[Bumbler19]

I sat and tried to think of something good... but my mind keeps wandering back to the Thriller video >.> <.<

( ' ')" "(' ' ) ( ' ')" "(' ' ) ( ' ')" "(' ' )

[Jaztastic]

Haha I like that Saw one!

I have another one: He reaches the Tower & finds out that it is just a hologram generated by North Central Positronics! :o

[SigTauGimp]

:clap:

I like that one.

[Chap]

Imagine how the ending would be if Brownings poem was really Childe Roland on the dark tower came :panic:

[arnibeth]

I think after twenty years of reading this story the characters deserve a happy ending and Roland some peace.

[alinda]

Yeah, wouldnt it be nice . Maybe stay on and find love with Rosilita,
or even the ka-tet living in the Calla or hell out on the trail to nowhere in
particular, roasting weenies on a campfire telling stories:wtf:

[Letti]

I think after twenty years of reading this story the characters deserve a happy ending and Roland some peace.

Sadly life isn't full of happy endings.

[razz]

Roland gets to the top, and he grabs the handle. he hears a faint voice saying "don't do it, trust me", but he ignores it. he turns the knob, and BOOM! a rigged shotgun shoots him in the face, killing him.
"FUCK!" Jim throws down the controller.
"I told you not to. I've beaten this game four times. next time, listen to me"

[soylentjillian]

Imagine how the ending would be if Brownings poem was really Childe Roland on the dark tower came :panic:

go then and find your hand!!!

oh holy shit, I just about died laughing.

[Billy-Bumbler]

Imagine how the ending would be if Brownings poem was really Childe Roland on the dark tower came :panic:

:unsure::clap:

But anyways, here is my ending (I forgot it if I posted it, hope I didn't!)

Roland had reached the top and was reaching for the doorknob, only to have Cort smack him across the head. "Wake up, you worthless maggot!" Cort exclaimed. "You're not a gunslinger yet."

[soylentjillian]

But anyways, here is my ending (I forgot it if I posted it, hope I didn't!)

Roland had reached the top and was reaching for the doorknob, only to have Cort smack him across the head. "Wake up, you worthless maggot!" Cort exclaimed. "You're not a gunslinger yet."

I think that if King had done that we would have all gotten vans and stalked his lazy ass.

A horrible ending would be kind of like the one at the end of Men in Black, where their galaxy is in a marble? What if all the worlds that spin on the axis of the Tower were all encased in a specific room of another Tower somewhere? And infinite numbers of towers inside?

[chris777]

Worst for some, but best for me. Would be... First of all, Crimson King should have been a cooler character. Old man Red Santa? Comon? And Walter was supposed to be badass...he was killed by a spider. Who got beat up by a BUMBLER? Why was he able to make birds and squirells come to him at will whenever he wanted. But he couldn't make a DEER do that, so he could eat in the cold? Why could he completely control WALTER/MARTEN/FLAGG with his fkn MIND...but he couldnt do that to any of the ka-tet even after it was broken? Every prophecy came true, except the one that said Mordred would kill his father...Why couldn't it have been mis-interpreted, and it meant mordred would kill his RED father? The ending was good, but so many little things coulda made the whole series a lot better. Sorry, back to my "alternate ending". I would have liked to see the BAD GUYS WIN. The world go into chaos, the beams break, the tower collapase, and Mordred and Los rule for awhile(then Roland somehow saves the day) But at least let the bad guys win once! =)

[Mad Man]

after some thinking - here's mine worst ending: salvation for roland :scared:

It would have sucked hard :doh: thank god it wasn't so :cyclops:

[Letti]

Mordred catches Roland but he doesn't kill him... he takes of his spider costume (just the head part like in Scooby Doo) and there is... Susan!!! It was Susan, his first love, all the time.
They look at each other with big puppy eyes hug each other and kiss and that's it.
Happy End.

[Mad Man]

Mordred catches Roland but he doesn't kill him... he takes of his spider costume (just the head part like in Scooby Doo) and there is... Susan!!! It was Susan, his first love, all the time.
They look at each other with big puppy eyes hug each other and kiss and that's it.
Happy End.
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
I can't even imagine such silly endings, i think after such ending i'd burn the book :ninja:

[Letti]

Mordred catches Roland but he doesn't kill him... he takes of his spider costume (just the head part like in Scooby Doo) and there is... Susan!!! It was Susan, his first love, all the time.
They look at each other with big puppy eyes hug each other and kiss and that's it.
Happy End.
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
I can't even imagine such silly endings, i think after such ending i'd burn the book :ninja:

;)

[Claude Clay]

Roland steps through the door at the top of the tower onto a black & white tv set standing next to Rod Serling and Jack Nickleson [nurse Ratchet is just visable pearing out at them from the backstage curtains. butterfly net held at the low-ready
voice-over in a all to familiar voice--"and now for the rest of the story......"

[LadyHitchhiker]

I think after twenty years of reading this story the characters deserve a happy ending and Roland some peace.

Sadly life isn't full of happy endings.

But it should be.

[wag117]

worst
ending
ever.
imo opinion of course.
roland throws the crimson king out of a window of the tower, all but screaming yippe-ki-yay m*****-f*****, and becomes the new crimson king himself.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Roland steps through the door.

Upon entering he sees this:

http://hollywoodjokes.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/funny-dentist-hollywood-jokes-1.jpg

The man in white turns to face Roland and says, "oh good! You're here to get your wisdom teeth out!"

And you thought the man in black was scary!

[DoctorDodge]

Worst ending would be:

Roland opening the door, walks through...and falls to his death, breaking his neck in the field of roses far below.

THE END

[dogbert]

Roland opens the door at the top of the Tower marked 'ROLAND'. As he enters, a cloud of dry ice gathers and he emerges onto the stage of 'Stars in Their Eyes'. He says ''Tonight, Matthew - I'm going to be Clint Eastwood!'', and proceeds to sing 'Paint Your Wagon' while dancing a commala...

''Gonna paint your wagon
Gonna paint it fine
Gonna use oil based paint,
cos that wood is piiiine''

:rock:

[ladykatherine]

Roland gets to the top, and he grabs the handle. he hears a faint voice saying "don't do it, trust me", but he ignores it. he turns the knob, and BOOM! a rigged shotgun shoots him in the face, killing him.
"FUCK!" Jim throws down the controller.
"I told you not to. I've beaten this game four times. next time, listen to me"

Ha ha ha. I am quite a fan of this one. Makes me think of my brother and I playing Resident Evil :ninja:

[Woofer]

Mordred catches Roland but he doesn't kill him... he takes of his spider costume (just the head part like in Scooby Doo) and there is... Susan!!! It was Susan, his first love, all the time.
They look at each other with big puppy eyes hug each other and kiss and that's it.
Happy End.

And after the kiss, Susan removes her head to reveal that it was also a costume and in reality it is Roy Depape, who had apparently had a crush on Roland since Mejis.

[razz]

Mordred catches Roland but he doesn't kill him... he takes of his spider costume (just the head part like in Scooby Doo) and there is... Susan!!! It was Susan, his first love, all the time.
They look at each other with big puppy eyes hug each other and kiss and that's it.
Happy End.

And after the kiss, Susan removes her head to reveal that it was also a costume and in reality it is Roy Depape, who had apparently had a crush on Roland since Mejis.
http://www.helpbytes.co.uk/images/mess6/smileys/24.gif

[Letti]

Mordred catches Roland but he doesn't kill him... he takes of his spider costume (just the head part like in Scooby Doo) and there is... Susan!!! It was Susan, his first love, all the time.
They look at each other with big puppy eyes hug each other and kiss and that's it.
Happy End.

And after the kiss, Susan removes her head to reveal that it was also a costume and in reality it is Roy Depape, who had apparently had a crush on Roland since Mejis.

:wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf:
It's my second favourite so far.
(My forever favourite is Jean's.)

[Crow]

Roland opens the door and enters this room:

YouTube - twin peaks dancing

..The door locks behind him.

[Woofer]

Mordred catches Roland but he doesn't kill him... he takes of his spider costume (just the head part like in Scooby Doo) and there is... Susan!!! It was Susan, his first love, all the time.
They look at each other with big puppy eyes hug each other and kiss and that's it.
Happy End.

And after the kiss, Susan removes her head to reveal that it was also a costume and in reality it is Roy Depape, who had apparently had a crush on Roland since Mejis.

:wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf:
It's my second favourite so far.
(My forever favourite is Jean's.)

Thankee big-big, Letti. I am truly honored. :rose: I would never have thought of it without your original Scooby-Doo ending, so it is really "our" ending. :couple:

[Jean]

bears are honored beyond words!!!!! http://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k291/mishemplushem/Facilitation/loved.gifhttp://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k291/mishemplushem/Facilitation/excited.gifhttp://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k291/mishemplushem/Facilitation/loved.gif

[SigTauGimp]

Could someone direct me to Jean's ending? :D

<---Curious panda.

[Jean]

here (http://www.thedarktower.org/palaver/showthread.php?p=252308#post252308)

[SigTauGimp]

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Lmfao...wow.

That wins.

Like, forever.:clap:

[Woofer]

::inspired by my recent experience with that fish can::

Roland tries to open the door, but the handle comes off and stays in his hand.

(the rest is known to all unsuccessful can-openers. Strictly PG.)

I can see him spontaneously crumbling into a small pile of rubble (cartoon-style, say à la Daffy Duck) from the emotional impact of that.

[Letti]

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Lmfao...wow.

That wins.

Like, forever.:clap:

Told ya. ;)





Mordred catches Roland but he doesn't kill him... he takes of his spider costume (just the head part like in Scooby Doo) and there is... Susan!!! It was Susan, his first love, all the time.
They look at each other with big puppy eyes hug each other and kiss and that's it.
Happy End.

And after the kiss, Susan removes her head to reveal that it was also a costume and in reality it is Roy Depape, who had apparently had a crush on Roland since Mejis.

:wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf:
It's my second favourite so far.
(My forever favourite is Jean's.)

Thankee big-big, Letti. I am truly honored. :rose: I would never have thought of it without your original Scooby-Doo ending, so it is really "our" ending. :couple:

True, true... but still... you put the crown on the head. :D

[Woofer]

:couple: Letti

[Juicebot]

ha these are all great!


How about...

He gets to the top and opens the door and realizes that the inside is the outside and the outside is the inside ala night at the roxbury

[Chap]

Roland opens the door and enters this room:

YouTube - twin peaks dancing (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36_vlZha7bg)

..The door locks behind him.

GAH! :panic: :panic: Nightmares are guaranteed for tonight.

(if that was the ending, I'd have to change my pants. For several reasons.)

[Letti]

Roland opens the door and enters this room:

YouTube - twin peaks dancing (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36_vlZha7bg)

..The door locks behind him.

GAH! :panic: :panic: Nightmares are guaranteed for tonight.

(if that was the ending, I'd have to change my pants. For several reasons.)

For several reasons?! :shocked:

[Letti]

My new one:

Roland opens the door and God himself is sitting inside.
God: - Hile Gunslinger!
Roland: - Oh my God. Why am I here?
God: - Good question. Good question. In fact I am tired and I would like you to make me a cup of hot coffee.
Short pause.
Roland: - What?!?! You mean... I did.. I did this...
God: - With milk and sugar, please.
Roland: - You.. you.. - his hands are trembling and his eyes aren't clear anymore.
God: - My legs are aching. I'm old son. I need some help time to time. The coffee machine is over there. Old but still works.
Roland: - You can't say that I have killed all those people I betrayed all those friends to come here to make you a coffee?!?!?!
God: - You think too much about yourself, son. Even more about faith and life. By the way making a cup of coffee for God is a big thing.
Long pause.
God: - Isn't it?
Roland goes insane right there and jumps out of the window.

[Jean]

http://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k291/mishemplushem/Facilitation/bear4bis.gif

[ola]

Roland opens the door and enters this room:

YouTube - twin peaks dancing (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36_vlZha7bg)

..The door locks behind him.

Hahaa! You know what, seeing that and remembering how Twin Peaks "ends" makes me really appreciate how the DT series ends...TP just haunts me forever!

[AIMB]

Roland goes through the door and doesn't forget. Like groundhog day. That would have sucked.

[Letti]

Roland goes through the door and doesn't forget. Like groundhog day. That would have sucked.

I think it would have been damn exciting. I am not sure at all that he would have been able to handle it.

[SigTauGimp]

Roland goes through the door and doesn't forget. Like groundhog day. That would have sucked.

:scared: Ya know, it's weird...I've never thought about this possibility, as simple as it is.(No offense intended)

That would seriously mess me up permanently. I think I agree with Letti. I don't think Roland could take that.

[Wilbur]

better yet...

Roland gets to the top, opens the door, and encounters...

Robert Browning.

"who the fuck are you?" sez Rol.
RB proceeds to inform Roland that he is nothing more than a component of complementary parts, being created by he, Browning, and fantasized by King.
"you mean he fucking LIED to me?" Roland cries. "He didn't make me? What the hell-?"
RB tells him he is a conglomerate of his, Browning's, character; Clint Eastwood, Travis McGee, and King's own childish visual fantasy of himself.

upon which, he slams the door in Roland's face, leaving him in an echoing torpor mausoleum reverberating with Hole's "Doll Parts."



I know mine isn't even close, but here's my attempt.

Roland opens the door at the top of the tower, is blinded by a brilliant white light and steps through......

he emerges in the center of the golgatha-like circle in the center of the cemetery from The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. Just as his eyes adjust and he attempts to draw his gun he realizes it's too late. Blondie, Tuco, and Angel Eyes open fire simultaneously. Roland takes three rounds to the head and collapses.:cry::shoot::harrier:

[Wilbur]

Or better yet.....:idea:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu_moia-oVI&feature=related

HE'S JUST BEEN RICK ROLLED!!:wtf:

[Wilbur]

crap it didn't work.:angry:
how are you guys getting videos on your comments? or can i not do that yet?

[idk, my bff jill?]

Haha. That's pretty funny.
I love Rick Rolls.

Anyway, you can't post videos like that.
You have to hit the Insert Link button here and paste the direct link of the YouTube video.

[idk, my bff jill?]

Cool.

But next time you could just edit the post. ;)

[Wilbur]

oh. i'm trying to figure all this out. i cry your pardon :cry:

[Letti]

oh. i'm trying to figure all this out. i cry your pardon :cry:

Never mind. :)
I'm gonna merge your two posts.
Good to have you here. :rose:

[GirlGoneNineteen]

At the top of the tower is the little statue from Indiana Jones.

Good luck not setting off the trap with those missing fingers.

[Wilbur]

oh. i'm trying to figure all this out. i cry your pardon :cry:

Never mind. :)
I'm gonna merge your two posts.
Good to have you here. :rose:

Thankya big-big:)

[AIMB]

Roland goes through the door and doesn't forget. Like groundhog day. That would have sucked.

:scared: Ya know, it's weird...I've never thought about this possibility, as simple as it is.(No offense intended)

That would seriously mess me up permanently. I think I agree with Letti. I don't think Roland could take that.


I think he would go craaazy. Start chewing the weed maybe.


Ha ha Rickrolled.

[KimDealisHot]

Roland reaches the final landing of the Tower and walks up to the last door. His left hand twists the Knob and blinding bright florescent lighting fills his eyes. He is dazed and confused for a good few seconds and then regains focus. What he sees is a room covered entirely in white tile with a giant robotic structure in the center a tired looking man has taken a POW stance on the floor in front of him.
"The tower is a lie!" the crazed man screams.
"Welcome subject 1999" says the giant robot in a noticeably effeminate voice.

[Kidd Ikarus]

Roland walks through the door at the top of the Tower . . . .

"NEXT!"

The loud voice startles Roland from his sleep. He is sitting in a folding chair in the middle of a heavily crowded room. People are lined up in front of him, leading to a woman behind a desk. She happens to be the same complexion as Susannah just much heavier. Embroidered on the left pocket on her shirt are the words: 'Department of Motor Vehicles'.

Above this women is a lit-up sign with the words: 'Now Serving' in white and the number '3' in red. Roland looks down at a ticket he is holding in his hand. The ticket reads, '19'.

Roland - God damn it! I'm gonna be here all day!

[Timebomber]

Roland opens the door at the top of the dark tower and enters a dimly lit room surrounded by red velvet curtains. Al Green is playing on a 'ceedee' player in the corner. In the center of the room is a rotating circular bed, with Rhea of the Coos bend over on all fours, butt naked, wearing nothing but Roland's gun belt. She pushs herself up with her arms and squats on her knees sticking the tip of her long cold finger into her mouth. Sucking the red polish right off her fingernail, she pulls it out slowy, and says to Roland:

"Hey there, my lil' Ka-Daddy, Rhea's feelin a-horny big-big, Rhea wanna get her f@&k on!!!"

Roland turns to run, but the door slams shut and locks forever.
He turns to face Rhea, but before he can do anything, his pants are torn from his waist, and Rhea slams the Horn of Eld right into his bung hole. Then she blows....blows into it the song of the roses, the song of the tower.
Come-come-commala!!!! Come-come-Commalaaaaa!!!!!
Suddenly, all the red velvet curtains drop to floor revealing that the room is completely surrounded by large viewing windows, and behind them a circular auditorium completely packed with Roont twins eating taters, all singing along to the song of the rose.
Rhea pulls the horn out, looks directly at you, breaks the fourth wall and says.....

"If Ka is a wheel.....then Rhea's gonna rock it till the wheel falls off".

THE END.

[Brice]

:scared:

:panic: :panic: :panic:

[razz]

Timebomber, I am disturb.



Roland opens the door, steps into a bright light...

then walk out on stage and begins singing. >.> (http://trololololololololololo.com/)

*roll credits*

And Letti, can I has link to that Roland at McDonald's image you used for a sig? :3

[Letti]

You really should post that link/song in the creepy thread. o_O



Link? I cannot give you a link because it's in my photobucket but I can post the picture here with please. :)
http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p237/Lettike/banner-av/worldbanner.jpg

[Canada]

Sorry if this is considered necromancy, but since this thread is back up towards the top and all....

Roland opens the door and steps through, and finds himself standing in a very small, cramped room. The room appears to be some sort of attic, with a high ceiling made of dark, almost black wood. At the other end of the room is a circular window of beautiful stained glass. All at once Roland realizes that he is no longer standing, but sitting. In sudden horror, he recognizes the chair in which he's seated. It's Susannah's wheelchair. He tries to stand up, but only succeeds in throwing himself to the musty old floor. Roland glances back and with a jolt sees that his legs are missing below the knees. His dark knees. His skin is darker than he has ever seen it. Not as dark as Susannah's, he doesn't look black, but he is definitely not the white he was before. He tries to crawl forward towards the stained glass window, and that's when his sleeves catch in the cracks between the wooden floorboards and pull back to reveal dozens of ugly welts and bumps peppering his arms. He has seen these before, they're where Eddie would "shoot up" with the demon Heroin.

As Roland feebly crawls to the window, he realizes how large his shirt and jeans feel on him, how heavy. He reaches the window and glances to the right. Here he looks up at a large mirror, with a frame that almost looks like (A doorframe) something else. As he stares at his reflection, he cannot comprehend the image that is returned to him. It is him, yes, but much much younger. No older than mayhap fifteen. He gasps for air, finding it hard to breathe now, his head is spinning. He tries to push himself up on his hands and feels a little better, but what he sees under his hands wipes away his relief like wind wipes away sand. Under his hands and stumps, are dozens, no hundreds of pieces of lined paper. All filled with his own handwriting. Snatches of familiar words and bits of dialouge float up to him from the papers. Mohaine. Jake. Susannah. Eddie. Shardik. The Guardians. Lud. Susan. The Calla. The Wolves. The Breakers. Mordred. Algul Siento. The Tower.

Underneath the scattered papers he finds countless drawings. Drawings of the tower, of New York City. Drawings of Susan. Drawings of him and his happy tet. By now his hands are shaking, and his eyes blurring with tears. He finds a drawing of himself in the outfit he wore while he was travelling across the mohaine. It was childish, but with much detail. He looks again at the mirror and gasps when he sees the face of Susannah. Then the face of Eddie, then Jake. Then the idealized Roland he had drawn. The grown-up, strong and wise Roland. The one not on Heroin, the one who has legs. He feels each one of them. They are him. As he begins to convulse gently on the floor, his sobs reach a fever pitch. Downstairs his mother is yelling to keep quiet up there. His father is yelling at her to keep quiet herself. He feels another blackout (most likely from one of his drugs, or perhaps a few) coming up, one that will make him forget again, and send him back to the Mohaine desert. Back to find the Tower. Maybe if he can get to the top of the tower this time. Maybe, a voice whispers.

"Maybe if I get to the top, I can stop waking up as different people everyday." He croaks wetly.

Maybe, maybe. Maybe this time will be different.

"Maybe this time I'll be different." Roland whispered, and closed his brown eyes.

Or yeah. Something like that. Sorry it was so long. Again, sorry if this thread is too old to bring back, but I like all these different ideas about what could've been.

[razz]

Nah, what I did (and am doing) is necroposting. xD

And Letti, working on something >:3

[razz]

So guiz, I herd u like shitty endings

http://i42.tinypic.com/b4jc5e.jpg

[dubrosa22]

Roland opens the door at the top of the Tower and steps out onto the set of "The Oprah Winfrey Show" where he jumps up and down on the couch dancing the commala and screaming " I love Susan Delgado" at the top of his lungs.

That's the best!
:wtf:

[High_Desert_Gunslinger]

Roland walks through the door and you find out the whole series exists in the imagination of a psychiatric patient in a mental hospital who is obsessed with Stephen King.

[fivethirtytwo]

Roland walks through the door at the top of the tower and on to a dusty balcony, which sports two chairs and a couple of potted plants. The view is nice.

[Sir_Boomme]

Roland walks through the door at the top of the tower...
and....

there I sit...

http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj13/sir_boomme/x5%20-misc%20stuff/sir_boomme.jpg


Sir Boomme: "This one's Taken!..."

Roland: "Oooops, Sorry..."

~ The End

[Brice]

:panic:

[razz]

The door swings open, and...

http://i44.tinypic.com/261f90x.jpg

"Hello Roland."

"who are you?"

"I am...

http://i41.tinypic.com/erza0h.jpg

"...the Architect."

[diovivente]

Roland opens the door...

...and finds himself inside a wardrob full of old musty fur coats. He pushes through the coats (see where this is going yet?)...

and finds himself in Narnia. Then Lucy Pevensie and Mr Tumnus show up and poor Roland's like this :scared:.

lol I'd LOVE to see this! What Roland could do in Narnia. Screw the white witch. She'd be like "Bow to m--" and then a bullet will blow her brains out.

[Quicksilver]

Roland walks out into the room and sees a figure facing away from him wearing a cloak with a hood on it....the figure slowly turns and Roland expects to see the face of Walter.

Instead it is his long dead father.....who stares at him for several minutes and then asks...... "when did you forget my face?"

[Letti]

Roland walks out into the room and sees a figure facing away from him wearing a cloak with a hood on it....the figure slowly turns and Roland expects to see the face of Walter.

Instead it is his long dead father.....who stares at him for several minutes and then asks...... "when did you forget my face?"

Yes, it's a pretty horrible one.


And this picture is a win:
http://i44.tinypic.com/261f90x.jpg

[John Cullum]

So guiz, I herd u like shitty endings

http://i42.tinypic.com/b4jc5e.jpg

My favorite of the lot.

[Bang0_Skank]

That pic is a win, Letti. That Matrix guy could be Gan.

Ive got alot:
Roland opens the door and is sucked into the vacuum of space...

Roland opens the door and just like when he opened Jake's door, the door on the other side is laying flat on the ground, only at the bottom of the sea. He is crushed by the force of the ocean, plus oil from the oil spill.

He opens the door and runs in, only to find it was a door to the outside of the tower, and he falls a thousand feet to his death.

He is about to open the door, and gets cold feet, and goes back to Dandelo's old house where he spends the remainder of his days.

He walks up the tower for the last time, with the Horn of Eld. He trips on a wet floor sign halfway up and smashes the Horn.

[razz]

Roland walks out into the room and sees a figure facing away from him wearing a cloak with a hood on it....the figure slowly turns and Roland expects to see the face of Walter.

Instead it is his long dead father.....who stares at him for several minutes and then asks...... "when did you forget my face?"

Yes, it's a pretty horrible one.


And this picture is a win:
http://i44.tinypic.com/261f90x.jpg

^.^

[RolandsConscience]

Roland opens the door and there is a sign that says "Out of Order. Please use basement door on level B1999."

[Letti]

Roland tries to open the door but the handle won't turn.
"You are two minutes late. What a pity. It won't open for you, Roland I am really sorry. Never." - says someone behind his back.
"What?!?! What do you mean? And who the hell are you?"
"I am the door keeper." - says the shaggy old man with missing teeth in his mouth - "And you have just heard me perfectly well. You were two... sorry now three minutes late so the door will never open for you. 2 minutes. What a pity."
"I don't believe you." - says Roland a bit hysterically.
"Well, just keep trying to get in. Time will prove it. Time is everything. 2 minutes. Haha... I mean... what a pity. Actually... you almost did it."

[ArikRattlehead]

Roland wakes up in the back of a mini van and says "oh dude that was some baaaad acid!"

[Brainslinger]

Roland opens the door and plummets towards the field of roses. As he turns head over heels, he notices that the black window in the Wizard's aureole rainbow windows above is in fact a black open door.

[Brice]

Roland opens the door at the top of the tower. He finds himself at the bottom of the tower, climbs, opens the door, finds himself at the bottom of the tower...ad infinitum.

[krisagon]

I just finished it this morning...

I was afraid that the top level was going to open to Stephen King's writing room, and they would have had another awkward and lame conversation, and that would be that.

[Jean]

well, now that you know that it's not so, maybe the other conversation won't seem all that awkward and lame? http://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k291/mishemplushem/Facilitation/bear_original.gif

[Walkingman79]

The whole Tower is an Illusion and a trap set bye the CK.When Rolands gets to the top it turns out to be the Tower of Terror ride.The door slams and he falls...falls...falls into the Todash Darkness.:doh:

[RainInSpain]

Roland opens the door, steps in... and immediately his face changes. Muscles relax, and the light goes out of his eyes. Blue glare, too - as the tired actor removes his custom-made contacts.
"Sheesh, I'm tired of this goddam Western-gone-wrong! Are we done yet? Why in the world would you make a commercial for Nozza-La this long?"

[alinda]

:wtf: That's a good one!

[LadyHitchhiker]

Roland gets to the tower..

and realizes he left the key to get into the dark tower back in the desert.

:doh:

Oh so THAT's why he has to cycle back??? :wtf:

[Jean]

this is a good one, love. It explains everything and makes a lot of our discussion threads redundant

I think I'll go archive them...

[LadyHitchhiker]

this is a good one, love. It explains everything and makes a lot of our discussion threads redundant

I think I'll go archive them...

:wtf: I love ya. That was great.

[Doe]

Roland gets to the top of the tower, and the sign on the door says ''No Entry, Staff only'' or something.

Or Better still, he steps through the door at the top of the tower and steps on a land mine, with a note hanging from the door reading ''LOL Pwned EEEEEE, Got ya - Crimson King''

[Letti]

Or Better still, he steps through the door at the top of the tower and steps on a land mine, with a note hanging from the door reading ''LOL Pwned EEEEEE, Got ya - Crimson King''

It's so horrible... it's so good. :D

[Girlystevedave]

Roland gets near the top of the tower and opens a door that leads into a government office where he has to take a number and wait to be called into a little office. Then he is asked for his social security number, date of birth, income, job history, etc. He then has to fill out a bunch of forms and is told that he'll be contacted in 5-10 days regarding approval for him to open the last door in the tower.

[mystima]

Roland gets near the top of the tower and opens a door that leads into a government office where he has to take a number and wait to be called into a little office. Then he is asked for his social security number, date of birth, income, job history, etc. He then has to fill out a bunch of forms and is told that he'll be contacted in 5-10 days regarding approval for him to open the last door in the tower.

sounds like every time i have had to apply for anything worth getting...job, food stamps, housing help, medical insurance...lol awesome by the way

[Doe]

Roland gets near the top of the tower and opens a door that leads into a government office where he has to take a number and wait to be called into a little office. Then he is asked for his social security number, date of birth, income, job history, etc. He then has to fill out a bunch of forms and is told that he'll be contacted in 5-10 days regarding approval for him to open the last door in the tower.

Then after the postage company screws everything up, and said correspondance does not arrive for 15-20 days rather than the stated 5-10, he is then told ''Sorry sir your application to enter the top floor of the tower has been rejected''...

Meanwhile, Chuck Norris enters the Dark Tower..

[HellBeast]

Roland walks into the Tower, all the lights are off, he flicks a switch by the door...


Eddie, Jake, Susannah, a man dressed as Oy, Walter, Marten, Flagg, CK, Dandelo, Patrick, Susan, Alain, Cuthbert, Steven, Farson, Cort, Vannay, Jamie, Jonas, Sheemie, Dinkie, Ted, Finli, Mia, and Pere Callahan all jump from behind sofas and curtains and shout "happy birthday!!!! surprised? yeah there was no Tower... it's just you're soooo busy we had to make sure you would be in the right place at the right time! happy 10'000th birthday buddy!"

Roland weeps...

[Girlystevedave]

:rofl:
Both of those!

[Letti]

Roland gets near the top of the tower and opens a door that leads into a government office where he has to take a number and wait to be called into a little office. Then he is asked for his social security number, date of birth, income, job history, etc. He then has to fill out a bunch of forms and is told that he'll be contacted in 5-10 days regarding approval for him to open the last door in the tower.

Then after the postage company screws everything up, and said correspondance does not arrive for 15-20 days rather than the stated 5-10, he is then told ''Sorry sir your application to enter the top floor of the tower has been rejected''...

Meanwhile, Chuck Norris enters the Dark Tower..

:wtf: Such a win. :wtf:

[LadyHitchhiker]

Roland gets near the top of the tower and opens a door that leads into a government office where he has to take a number and wait to be called into a little office. Then he is asked for his social security number, date of birth, income, job history, etc. He then has to fill out a bunch of forms and is told that he'll be contacted in 5-10 days regarding approval for him to open the last door in the tower.

That's one of my favorites yet!

Although Hellbeast's is awesome with awesome sauce as well!

[a fan]

roland reaches the top of the tower to find a out to lunch sine

[ICry4Oy]

:unsure:

[Letti]

Roland opens the door easily and goes in. What he finds inside is a big LCD TV, a nice and comfortable armchair and a blue-ray player. He sits down right in front of the TV and he feels he cannot move his body anymore. The TV turns on by itself so does the blue-ray player and on the screen he sees this:

The Dark Tower - directed by Quentin Tarantino
Then he sees himself acted by a tall handsome man walking in the desert.

The film starts and he has to watch it. He cannot close his eyes when Susan is burning alive.. or when he shoots his mom.. or when Jake is dying in his hands... He can never close his eyes. He cannot even blink.
When all the seven parts end it starts right from the beginning and he has to watch it again.
Again.
and again
and again
and again
Till the world ends.

[RainInSpain]

Awesome, Letti!
Poor Roland; I wonder which would be a worse kind of torture - to be doomed to repeat the quest forever, or to have to watch the same movie endlessly. :lol:

[Doe]

Worse if said movie is directed by Quentin Tarantino

[Jean]

hear, hear

[RainInSpain]

Personally, I have nothing against QT, so cannot readily agree with you guys. But to me, an endless repeat of any movie by any director would be quite horrible :lol:

[Doe]

I lost track of your post after..
I have nothing against QT

Im joking though, KillBill was a superb movie :P

[pathoftheturtle]

Roland is about to enter the Tower, when suddenly the U.S. Army charges past, and he realizes that they've fixed everything, and that things would have been fine if he'd just stuck with the crowd.

[RainInSpain]

I lost track of your post after..
I have nothing against QT

Im joking though, KillBill was a superb movie :P

So, I see you're not a fan of Quantum Theory :lol: (j/k, too)

[pathoftheturtle]

Well, that was a queer transition.
:D See what I did there? Quite Tricky. More Quirky Terminology!
Okay, I'm sorry... that's a questionable tactic. It can get quickly tiresome.



Roland's loop tightens. He enters the room at the top of the tower and finds himself in a field of roses, he climbs the tower, enters, the room, ends up outside at the base of the tower ad infinitum.Alternatively, maybe the loop could broaden. Each time, he finds himself sent back in time farther and farther, so that he has to travel more and more instead of getting closer. Until eventually each loop requires different choices from his ancestors to get him a better upbringing. And then it goes all the way to the dawn of time and all manner of universes are created instead of the one he lives in... but he still never quite gets things right. :doh: (Okay, not that funny, but certainly not a good ending.)

[RainInSpain]

Well, that was a queer transition.
:D See what I did there? Quite Tricky. More Quirky Terminology!
Okay, I'm sorry... that's a questionable tactic. It can get quickly tiresome.

That is the quintessential truth, and I shall quit tricking you with my quizzical talk. :D
(Love wordplay, btw)




Roland's loop tightens. He enters the room at the top of the tower and finds himself in a field of roses, he climbs the tower, enters, the room, ends up outside at the base of the tower ad infinitum.Alternatively, maybe the loop could broaden. Each time, he finds himself sent back in time farther and farther, so that he has to travel more and more instead of getting closer. Until eventually each loop requires different choices from his ancestors to get him a better upbringing. And then it goes all the way to the dawn of time and all manner of universes are created instead of the one he lives in... but he still never quite gets things right. :dokay, not that funny, but certainly not a good ending.)

This reminds me of one sci-fi novel, or part of a novel, that I had read many many years ago (I'd say about 25 years ago). I can remember neither the author nor the title, but its plot revolves around a civilization that discovers time travel, and, after having polluted their 'when', decides to go back in time to when nature was pure and natural resources plentiful. They did it multiple times, and ultimately ran out of the 'past' where they could go, and by then all of their future had been devastated and ruined, too.

[pathoftheturtle]

This reminds me of one sci-fi novel, or part of a novel, that I had read many many years ago (I'd say about 25 years ago). I can remember neither the author nor the title, but its plot revolves around a civilization that discovers time travel, and, after having polluted their 'when', decides to go back in time to when nature was pure and natural resources plentiful. They did it multiple times, and ultimately ran out of the 'past' where they could go, and by then all of their future had been devastated and ruined, too.I read a juvenile sci-fi novel where exactly that happened in a simulation, alerting the inventor not to allow real people to know about his process for time travel. I can't remember the title, either. Maybe the plot was borrowed from the book you read. :orely:


...Roland winning some kind of reality tv show and him not knowing he was on it.. that would be funny...At the top of the Tower, he finds a fancy boardroom. Three executives in fine suits sit frowning at him from across a long table. To one side is Chuck Norris, with a group who are clearly comrades of his. Norris snickers, "Finally! We saved our universe months ago."

One of the executives says, "Please have a seat, Mr. Deschain. We've been hearing stories of the numerous occasions in which the other Dinh singlehandly rescued each and all of his team members from certain death. Where are your other team members now?"
Roland blushes, "Um, they didn't make it."

Donald Trump looks him in the eye and says "You're fired!"

On the elevator ride back down, Roland says, "I'm still in shock. I didn't even know it was a contest. I thought I'd learn about the meaning of life here." As the last of the credits roll over this, the producer tells him, "I bet you'd do better on Survivor."

[Letti]

This reminds me of one sci-fi novel, or part of a novel, that I had read many many years ago (I'd say about 25 years ago). I can remember neither the author nor the title, but its plot revolves around a civilization that discovers time travel, and, after having polluted their 'when', decides to go back in time to when nature was pure and natural resources plentiful. They did it multiple times, and ultimately ran out of the 'past' where they could go, and by then all of their future had been devastated and ruined, too.

Oh my! It sounds really really interesting.



Roland enters the Tower, he climbs the stairs he opens the door of the room on the top and he finds... well, nothing. It turns out the oh-so-famous Dark Tower is just a fancy look-out tower.

[RainInSpain]

This reminds me of one sci-fi novel, or part of a novel, that I had read many many years ago (I'd say about 25 years ago). I can remember neither the author nor the title, but its plot revolves around a civilization that discovers time travel, and, after having polluted their 'when', decides to go back in time to when nature was pure and natural resources plentiful. They did it multiple times, and ultimately ran out of the 'past' where they could go, and by then all of their future had been devastated and ruined, too.

Oh my! It sounds really really interesting.

I'm trying to find that novel - it was really fascinating, in a way. Perhaps it was some Soviet author that is not known anywhere else; I'm going to ask the guys at work - there's a fair chance that those geeky types will know what I'm talking about :lol:



Roland enters the Tower, he climbs the stairs he opens the door of the room on the top and he finds... well, nothing. It turns out the oh-so-famous Dark Tower is just a fancy look-out tower.

I wonder if such an ending would not end the loops once and for all... why bother saving a lookout tower? :orely:

[pathoftheturtle]

Roland enters the Tower, he climbs the stairs he opens the door of the room on the top and he finds... well, nothing. It turns out the oh-so-famous Dark Tower is just a fancy look-out tower.Or he opens the door and inside is just a broom closet. :lol:

How about this...

At last Roland crests the final flight of stairs and sees one last door, marked plainly "Roland." He boldly opens it, and an alkaline odor emerges. Immediately, he realizes what's happening, recalling that he's been through this many times before. In horror, he tries to pull away, but it's too late; invisible hands thrust him back into the desert to resume his quest yet again.
As his memory fades, he hears one more whisper from the Tower, but what the voices speak of is no horn, no token of his heritage.
Is there no hope for our hero? No chance for redemption? Is he inevitably doomed to this futile existence?
Shivering, you turn the page and read the fateful, final line...Be sure to drink your Ovaltine!

[mystima]

Roland enters the Tower, he climbs the stairs he opens the door of the room on the top and he finds... well, nothing. It turns out the oh-so-famous Dark Tower is just a fancy look-out tower.Or he opens the door and inside is just a broom closet. :lol:

How about this...

At last Roland crests the final flight of stairs and sees one last door, marked plainly "Roland." He boldly opens it, and an alkaline odor emerges. Immediately, he realizes what's happening, recalling that he's been through this many times before. In horror, he tries to pull away, but it's too late; invisible hands thrust him back into the desert to resume his quest yet again.
As his memory fades, he hears one more whisper from the Tower, but what the voices speak of is no horn, no token of his heritage.
Is there no hope for our hero? No chance for redemption? Is he inevitably doomed to this futile existence?
Shivering, you turn the page and read the fateful, final line...Be sure to drink your Ovaltine!


Hahahahah hahahaha hahahaha lol :doh::wtf::rofl::rofl:

[Letti]

Roland enters the Tower, he climbs the stairs he opens the door of the room on the top and he finds... well, nothing. It turns out the oh-so-famous Dark Tower is just a fancy look-out tower.Or he opens the door and inside is just a broom closet. :lol:

I must say this is one of the worst so far.

[Yaksha]

Roland climbs the Dark Tower going ever higher and higher reliving moments from his past. When he gets to the very top he opens the door and....................is swiftly transported back to the Battle of Jericho Hill. Now Roland has a chance to maybe change the outcome of everything..........Then the arrow meant for Cuthbert finds him. Falling over he dies knowing that he changed nothing. But Cuthbert sirvives the battle like Roland originally did and now Cuthbert is the last gunslinger. The Man in Black fled across the desert. And Cuthbert followed.


Not that I have a problem with Cuthbert. Far from it he is my favorite character.

[Letti]

Roland climbs the Dark Tower going ever higher and higher reliving moments from his past. When he gets to the very top he opens the door and....................is swiftly transported back to the Battle of Jericho Hill. Now Roland has a chance to maybe change the outcome of everything..........Then the arrow meant for Cuthbert finds him. Falling over he dies knowing that he changed nothing. But Cuthbert sirvives the battle like Roland originally did and now Cuthbert is the last gunslinger. The Man in Black fled across the desert. And Cuthbert followed.


Not that I have a problem with Cuthbert. Far from it he is my favorite character.

That would be a quite interesting ending. :) But why would Cuthbert follow the man in black?

[Yaksha]

Roland climbs the Dark Tower going ever higher and higher reliving moments from his past. When he gets to the very top he opens the door and....................is swiftly transported back to the Battle of Jericho Hill. Now Roland has a chance to maybe change the outcome of everything..........Then the arrow meant for Cuthbert finds him. Falling over he dies knowing that he changed nothing. But Cuthbert sirvives the battle like Roland originally did and now Cuthbert is the last gunslinger. The Man in Black fled across the desert. And Cuthbert followed.


Not that I have a problem with Cuthbert. Far from it he is my favorite character.

That would be a quite interesting ending. :) But why would Cuthbert follow the man in black?

because he stole the last klondike bar

[Letti]

Roland climbs the Dark Tower going ever higher and higher reliving moments from his past. When he gets to the very top he opens the door and....................is swiftly transported back to the Battle of Jericho Hill. Now Roland has a chance to maybe change the outcome of everything..........Then the arrow meant for Cuthbert finds him. Falling over he dies knowing that he changed nothing. But Cuthbert sirvives the battle like Roland originally did and now Cuthbert is the last gunslinger. The Man in Black fled across the desert. And Cuthbert followed.


Not that I have a problem with Cuthbert. Far from it he is my favorite character.

That would be a quite interesting ending. :) But why would Cuthbert follow the man in black?

because he stole the last klondike bar

No wonder the man in black deserves to die. :)

[Yaksha]

Roland climbs the Dark Tower going ever higher and higher reliving moments from his past. When he gets to the very top he opens the door and....................is swiftly transported back to the Battle of Jericho Hill. Now Roland has a chance to maybe change the outcome of everything..........Then the arrow meant for Cuthbert finds him. Falling over he dies knowing that he changed nothing. But Cuthbert sirvives the battle like Roland originally did and now Cuthbert is the last gunslinger. The Man in Black fled across the desert. And Cuthbert followed.


Not that I have a problem with Cuthbert. Far from it he is my favorite character.

That would be a quite interesting ending. :) But why would Cuthbert follow the man in black?

because he stole the last klondike bar

No wonder the man in black deserves to die. :)


yeah. he is uber evil. So Cuthbert seeks revenge for the death of the last klondike bar

[LadyHitchhiker]

Or the last twinkie like in Zombieland? ;)

[getabettereraser]

He opens the door at the top of the tower and finally becomes part of God Head. ENTER THE MIND OF GOD.
Finds that God is one of stephen king s tower junkies.
The actual coda is a dud made to fool whatever following red eyes has.

Or another good one is

Roland finds out the door was a former door that once led to the Source 'the matrix'. And that the Dark Tower world was once the main matrix simulated world before the Architect perfected our own world.

Long Live the Eraser

[wisemo]

The Real Ending to The Dark Tower

I'm by no means a writer, but I can at least read. For the love of god Stephen please give Roland Peace and rewrite the ending to the Dark Tower, here is the tale of really what happened from the beam to me. For you fell victim to the Crimson King. So here's what really happened to Roland you can use this to rewrite the ending and to set things right.

Last night after 8 years I figured out the real ending to the book. Spoiler if you have not read.
Rolands Redemption Song.

When Roland reaches the top of the tower he see's the door with his name on it but before he opens it he reaches down to his side to touch the horn of cuthbert, and the flash of his story to date happens before his eyes, he decides not to open the door but go back down the tower, and enter the door to save susan before she is burned alive he enters the world just in time to save her he enters through a magic door above Susan and tells the people he is Author Eld and what there doing is wrong as Ruu of the Coo that witch bitch tries to open her mouth Roland blows her brains out, he then frees Susan and rides of to meet up with Roland finding him right before the pink glam is going to whisk him away and show him the tower, at that moment he shoots the pink ball shattering it forever, but young Roland in reaction shoots Roland who falls to the ground dying, young Roland is united with Susan but confused at who the old stranger might be, Susan tells him it's Author Eld himself come back to save her, dying Roland says ah Gunslinger death for me but never for you, at this point a crow(Martin) watching the seen seeing the glam has been destroyed and Roland lays dying flies off when the crow is suddenly nailed by a hawk, instantly the crow transforms into Martin and the hawk is attacking his face and in an instant he is shot dead by both the old and young Roland. Then Roland with his dying breath says Long days and pleasant nights I go to my clearing. Then he wakes up in that rc fake cola, merker scropio world where he is in front of a great feast next to an older Susan it is Christmas and all his family is there his son Jake, eddie dean and his wife Detta Dean, his old friend Cuthbert and Alain and the 3 old guys who took care of the rose all those years, and father pat and Oy as a golden shepard and a parrot named david squaking beans beans, and Rolands mom and dad sitting in rockers and in the middle of the table is the most spectacular rose as we zoom in on the rose where transported to a different scene, where back in Gilied at an even more spectacular feast celebrating the defeat of John Farson and the marriage of Roland and Susan, and this time everyone is still alive Stephen, Rolands mom, Cort, Vannay. It ends with Roland and Susan kissing and everyone cheering, then we leave this scene and go to the tower but the crimson king has arrived at the entrance to the field of roses and in his hand is one of rolands guns perhaps the gun thrown away by detta walker in a certain trash can. He thinks he has finally figured how to enter the tower but unfortunately he is attacked by a huge bear he is one of the 12 guardians the crimson king turns into a spider and starts to quickly run away only to find himself pursued by all the guardians but the crimson king escapes into a cave where he gets away, accept its not a cave at all but the mouth of a giant turtle the guardian, and the crimson king was his lunch. The End and that's how the story really ends, because Stephen himself said this is not his story he was merely channeling the tale but he could no longer here the music but I have finally set things straight so Stephen you need to write a wrong how could you ever do that to Roland you got lazy and forgot the face of your father, this is not your story but I have now set things right so fix it, or I will Misery your ass.

[pathoftheturtle]

Meh.

[fernandito]

http://i330.photobucket.com/albums/l416/feverishparade/mwc.gif

[Ricky]

What the...

[EvaH]

http://i673.photobucket.com/albums/vv91/Black-House/f124435b39fc0a944255e4b78d30658e.gif?t=1294092546

[blavigne]

hmmmmmmmmm.............:scared:

[IrishEyes]

Oh.. my.. :unsure:

[klio]

And then he wakes up...

[alinda]

:shoot: I liked the one Sai King wrote better HA!

[wisemo]

This is the true ending, I have solved the riddle. This solves the pardox of Rolands loop and gives him redemption since Old Roland finally gets to go to the clearing accomplishing his true goal to somehow restoring Gilead, young Roland get's to save Gilead marry Susan and never Pursue the tower, and the threats to the tower are elimated being Martin and the Crimson King, as well as john Farson. This ending in a word is perfect. How did I solve this riddle because I was chosen by the power of 19, being my birthday is 7/19/1981 7 being the number of books in the dark tower 19 being 19 and 1981 also of course ads up to what 19. Long days and pleasent nights I can finally be at peace knowing Roland has found his god bless him and that is the truth.

[kluker]

http://i673.photobucket.com/albums/vv91/Black-House/f124435b39fc0a944255e4b78d30658e.gif?t=1294092546
^^
Says it all

[LadyHitchhiker]

I'm sorry couldn't even get through it.

When people don't put paragraph breaks my adhd kills the story for me.

[Yaksha]

Epic Fail

[RainInSpain]

Eeek... :scared:

[Letti]

...a parrot named david squaking beans beans...

You guys might not have liked it that much but at this part I did laugh out loudly. :wtf:

[Brice]

Letti, I laughed there and umm.. other places.


http://i330.photobucket.com/albums/l416/feverishparade/mwc.gif

^^^this

[Letti]

Letti, I laughed there and umm.. other places.[/QUOTE]

Oh, I am really happy I wasn't the only one who appreciated that kind of humour. :)

[Claude Clay]

though internally flawed, the American version of Is There Life On Mars ends in a manner magnifico.

i list DT amongst the finest of sci-fi stories [Dune, Stranger in a Strange Land, SW's #3, RiverWorld and Rama being some others]
but---the ending falls very flat. its as if SK grew tired/bored and or exasperated with Roland and felt he needed to be punished--
I will kill all your friends and make you do it again. and again, just so i can stop writing about it!!

[pathoftheturtle]

After Jake & Roland save his life, King decides to write all of the remaining volumes at once. He works hard, and finally gets it all out, except for the final scene. He's about to start on Roland's approach to the Tower when his hard drive crashes. This is so depressing that he starts drinking again, and the whole world comes to an end after all.

[pixiedark76]

Roland gets to the top of the tower and then he wakes up. He is strapped down in a bed, he is in an insane asylum. He wakes up screaming the names of his fallen friends and then starts yelling about the desert and the tower. There is a doctor saying, "He needs more lithium give him another injection." The doctor looks just like Randall Flagg! Then the doctor says, "He might actually need his shock therapy treatments increased also."
Two orderlies hold him down and they are Cuthbert and Allen! Roland says," You guys are gunslingers." the orderlies just crack up laughing!
It turns out The Dark Tower Series was the product of an insane Ronald's delusions and dreams.

[Letti]

After Jake & Roland save his life, King decides to write all of the remaining volumes at once. He works hard, and finally gets it all out, except for the final scene. He's about to start on Roland's approach to the Tower when his hard drive crashes. This is so depressing that he starts drinking again, and the whole world comes to an end after all.

:scared: It's so so horrible. I mean good. I mean horrible.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Uhhhhhhhhh why is this thread not still active?!?!?!?

Here's one:

Roland goes through the door, and he finds himself in a salon. They give him a makeover and he joins the cast of "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy".

[costanza]

Whole different kind of bumhugging going on in that story line.

[Adumbros]

Roland opens the door and finds himself in Narnia, where a very pissed-off White Queen is hunting for Aslan, who is in turn raging through the ages of literature against Gan for impersonating him; meanwhile Gandalf is filing a libel suit against the White Queen for plagiarizing his not-so-original character, and Clint Eastwood (portrayed by none other than Michael J. Fox) is itching for a cage match with Roland, the winner to be deemed the archsupremacist of all gunslingerdom...except here in limbo, there are no guns, and bullets can only be fired out the anus, and this only if first consumed orally in a bowl of refried beans.