Dating Do's and Don'ts

[fernandito]

I've seen a fair share of people that have complained about what a nightmare the dating world can be. I've also seen people discuss how amazing their date with that special someone was.

In this thread, we compile and collect all dating knowledge for the benefit of all dt.org'ers.


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So I was on a date over the weekend. Everything was going fine; great chemistry, light flirting, etc., and then we get to the restaurant we were dining at ... I must have had to repeat what I was saying about ten times because she would pause every single. goddamn. time. she would get a text message. I got so irritated at one point I said "should I just wait until you respond so I don't have to start all over again?" She must have taken the hint because she stopped shortly afterward.

Point is - the person you're going out with shouldn't have to ask you to pay attention! If you're into the person that you're seeing, you'll be able to resist checking your phone every 5 minutes. Now that I think of it, the more and more I'm convinced that smart phones are the bane of the dating world.

What about you guys ? Any stories / things to share ?

[Heather19]

That is one of my biggest pet peeves as well. I think once or twice is bad, but more than that I don't think I would even go out on a second date :lol:

[Brice]

Do NOT chew on your date's face while naked on the side of the Miami Causeway. This is bad dating etiquette. Barking at cops is however acceptable.

Seriously don't even bring your phone on a date unless you're likely to have a REAL emergency.

[Shannon]

Lol. So funny.

[Brice]

;)


Of course on second dates anything goes.



Yes, ANYTHING!

Yeah, that too!

[fernandito]

That is one of my biggest pet peeves as well. I think once or twice is bad, but more than that I don't think I would even go out on a second date :lol:

I mean, I can understand checking it every once in a while, I do the same. But when you place it on your lap or keep it in the palm of your hand just so you can feel the phone vibrate, then yeah we have a problem.

[Heather19]

Yeah, that's pretty bad. Was this a first date too? That's not how I would want to make a first impression. Not to mention it's rude.

[Ka-mai]

Feev, you're not a woman so this might not be a problem for you, but I ALWAYS have a phone on me for safety reasons. That said, I do not check mine nearly as often as most people I know. It helps that I do not have a smart phone.

I will say this: If you have a rule about people you don't want to date, do not make exceptions. For example, I always said I would not date smokers, until, well, Matt had a pretty face. :lol: I have had to put up with him "quitting" at least six times. Next time he starts I may kill him.

[John Blaze]

I agree with the phone on dates thing. I've been on a date when the girl was texting the whole time, once time we left the restaurant where we went to dinner and I drover her home and dropped her off and she didn't realize I was dropping her off until she looked up and asked, "wait, weren't we going to the Ocotillo?" I was like, "no, you seem to be pretty busy tonight, I wouldn't want to distract you." I then went to the bar by myself, ran into a different friend, and was having a good time dancing when she walked in with *her* group of friends 45 minutes later. She didn't speak to me all night, even though eventually she apologized.

1 "don't" I'd like to throw out there for the girls is hitting. IDK why, but some girls think that because they're the fairer sex it's ok to hit us for whatever reason. I had one girl who kept hitting me every time I'd make a joke or something. I'm like, no, you're really not hurting me, but the fact that you think it's ok to hit me as a way to disagree is annoying. I never dated her again, and she still don't know why I didn't want to date her.

Another don't for 1st dates: Don't get blotto. There's sch a thing as having a couple margaritas on a dinner date, but I once took out a girl who actually drank enough that she was stumbling around and almost falling every 5 seconds. As for myself, I never have more than 2 drinks on a date, for 2 reasons. I don't want a dwi, and I want to be in full control of myself at all times.

Also, guys, if you're thinking about going on a date with a girl, show her picture to Bethany. She'll tell you if the girl has crazy eyes. Trust me, she's been right every time.

[Bethany]

Every. Damn. Time. :D

I don't think I'm allowed to post in here.

[John Blaze]

But, Bethany, SHE WAS SOOOOO ATTRACTIVE!

Lol, I promise I'll listen next time. Not that there's a next time now, anyway. LOL.

[Emily]

I think I'm one of the few people on Earth who kind of enjoys the lingering taste of cigarettes when I'm kissing a smoker. That being said, I once dated someone who tried to quit smoking a few times, and he was such a dick everytime he tried to quit I wanted to strangle him.

I was kind of seeing a guy for the past couple of months, and ultimately stopped because of how awful he was when he was drunk. The first time it happened I was like ok, everyone gets too drunk sometimes, and everyone has times where they misunderstand a situation because they're drunk and get weird and angry. Then it happened again. Then a few weeks ago he was really drunk, got mad because he said his life has been harder than mine (I was like my life has been pretty good so alright?) and then grabbed my wrist really hard. I was like is this a joke? I haven't seen him again since then.

Also, I think maybe I'm just weird, but I don't like being rushed into meeting someone's family. That happens to me a lot.

[John Blaze]

I think I'm one of the few people on Earth who kind of enjoys the lingering taste of cigarettes when I'm kissing a smoker. Yes and no. I like the soft lingering taste. Not the I'm-a-chain-smoker-and-I-taste-like-an-ashtray thing.

[Bethany]

Here's a "do." I think some of you in here know how I lurves me some texting. However, I don't answer texts on a date* unless it is important. I have an app that lets me assign different colors to my Crackberry indicator light, my kids all have their own colors as do some close friends. Phone goes on silent, depending on where my kids are at the time, I may or may not check the phone.

*
Unless you're a wienie. Wienie boys get no respect.

[Ka-mai]

Also, guys, if you're thinking about going on a date with a girl, show her picture to Bethany. She'll tell you if the girl has crazy eyes. Trust me, she's been right every time.

:rofl: Hey Bethany, can you do guys'? Because I NEED that.

Honestly the most obnoxious thing about Matt quitting smoking is that he becomes a little bitch who needs constant encouragement. My feelings on this are: you have quit for almost a year before so you know it can be done, you only start again because you're fidgety and lazy, and you ran out of your encouragement quota right around the third quit.

Here's one reckoning back to the days of high school: If you are embarrassed to let people know you are dating someone, don't date them. That means you are 1. desperate and 2. dating someone incredibly terrible. I spent about 3 months alternately telling people "we're just friends" and "my boyfriend is (guy friend's name) from (school I used to go to)" before I got rid of him. I'm still super embarrassed about the whole thing because he was so trashy.

[Bethany]

Crazy eyes are crazy eyes. I'm adept at spotting them in either sex, unlike fake boobs. I'm good at spotting those, too.

[fernandito]

I will say this: If you have a rule about people you don't want to date, do not make exceptions. For example, I always said I would not date smokers, until, well, Matt had a pretty face. :lol: I have had to put up with him "quitting" at least six times. Next time he starts I may kill him.

Yeah, I have a strong gut feeling that you compromise a lot of personal rules when you really want to date someone :lol:




1 "don't" I'd like to throw out there for the girls is hitting. IDK why, but some girls think that because they're the fairer sex it's ok to hit us for whatever reason. I had one girl who kept hitting me every time I'd make a joke or something. I'm like, no, you're really not hurting me, but the fact that you think it's ok to hit me as a way to disagree is annoying. I never dated her again, and she still don't know why I didn't want to date her.

Hmm, I don't know ... I kinda like that :blush:. It denotes a certain kind of confidence, that she's comfortable enough with you that she'd do that.




Also, guys, if you're thinking about going on a date with a girl, show her picture to Bethany. She'll tell you if the girl has crazy eyes. Trust me, she's been right every time.

Bethany, I am so pissed at you right now. You could have saved me a lot of headaches if I knew this beforehand :angry:


Also, I think maybe I'm just weird, but I don't like being rushed into meeting someone's family. That happens to me a lot.

I actually like that ... :ninja:

[Bethany]

Now you know. I'll be glad to screen any potentials for anyone.

[Randall Flagg]

DO: Shower before the date
Don't: Wear strong perfume or cologne. If you are clean, you don't need to add to your clean aroma.
Do: Turn your phone off-you are not SO important that the world can't live without you for 90 minutes.
Don't: Show her/him a naked picture of yourself on the first date.
Do: Chew with your mouth closed.
Don't: Pick food off your date's plate.
Do: Bring enough money for the food and drinks.
Don't: Let the check go to your date if you intend to pay for it all. A subtle "I'll take the check please" tells the server to give you the check.
Do: Use your napkin.
Don't: Use your sleeve.
Do: Talk in general about yourself.
Don't: Talk at all about previous dates, marriages, flings, one night stands, bestiality, necrophilia.

[Emily]

Also, I think maybe I'm just weird, but I don't like being rushed into meeting someone's family. That happens to me a lot.

I actually like that ... :ninja:

I think the real problem may lay with the fact that meeting someone's family means things are about to get super serious which makes me reevaluate just how super serious I really want get with a person.

I have another don't: don't talk to me about your freaking ex.

[Hannah]

Do: Be honest. The worst thing I remember is when I stuck it out with a guy that I knew I did not want to ever date again to be nice. I ended up going on about four dates with him because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I ended up eventually having to turn him down via text message because I felt like a jerk for leading him on for so long.

[mystima]

Don't: Talk about Politics, Religion, or anything you wouldn't talk about at a work interview. Ones belief's are personal and unless you are way into the relationship do not state your personal belief's on a first date.
Do: Talk about current events like the Olympics and or the latest movie or tv show that just came out...know about what is going on in the world but don't be Jeopardy smart either.
Don't: Whistle at the waiter or waitress at the restaurant to let them know you are ready to order...someone once told me that you can tell how a person will treat you by how they treat the staff at a restaurant. Plus it is just plain rude.

[Ka-mai]

Well, maybe not the Olympics... I don't have cable and I seriously had no idea the Olympics had started until like, two days ago. I actually forgot this was even the year for it.

Do NOT go by the adage "if he treats his mother right, he'll treat you right" as a litmus test. I knew a guy who treated his mother like she was a saint, and he treated me pretty well, but he treated more or less everyone else like shit. It took me a while to realize he was completely racist and homophobic. Watch him/her with other people first.

[Mattrick]

My main gripe about dating: if you've talked to a person or 'x' amount of time before date, and the date is not to your liking, have the common courtesy to at least tell the other person you're not interested. It seems to me women find it polite to avoid doing such things, when really it makes them seem more of a bitch. It's not very hard, at least it lets the other person know it's over.

I agree about phones. It sends bad signals if you text a lot. You don't need to shut it off, but at east put it on vibrate and only take important calls or texts.

Don't complain about past relationships although this is probably a given.

Avoid jokes about the holocaust, unless you're dating a misanthopist. Holocaust jokes can end dates in a second. No this is not from personal experience. Similarily, don't let your Polish date near a German friend; from experience of this mistake my friend made, a lotof ill mannered jokes were made. Needless to say, it didn't go well for him.

[Ka-mai]

Similarily, don't let your Polish date near a German friend; from experience of this mistake my friend made, a lot of ill mannered jokes were made. Needless to say, it didn't go well for him.

This is an issue? I guess I don't understand Europe.

[Brice]

Don't: Make rules about dating.



:unsure:

[fernandito]

This topic was brought up on a different forum and it spawned some very polarizing pov's, want to see what you guys think :

Going to the movies on a first date - yay or nay ?

I said 'yay', if, and only if there is something to supplement the trip to the theater. Dinner afterwards, most like. I would imagine on a first date you want to gauge how much (or how little) chemistry you have with the other person, and sitting in a dark room for two hours, not talking isn't exactly the most efficient way to measure that. If you're going to dinner afterwards though, you'll have something to talk about / fall back on, and you can get to know that person better.

I went to a movie (The Hunger Games) on my first date with the girl I'm talking to, we went to dinner afterwards and honestly it was a great date.

[Ka-mai]

Nay. My first date was a movie, he took me to see FF7: The Spirits Within, and I had NO IDEA what I was watching. Also it is really awkward negotiating body contact with someone you hardly know in those chairs. Best leave that for when you have more practice.

[alkanto]

my first "non-date" was at a movie..and we really had fun! :D Of course, it was a movie we both really enjoyed, and we did eat afterwards. I think those are key. The movie should not be the main objective of the night, and it should be something both people are going to enjoy. It would be awfully rude to drag someone along to something they would hate or not understand, really...

[fernandito]

I had never considered that aspect, Sarah. That's a very good point.

[stkmw02]

I would say, don't set any limits or try to think about what the other person might be thinking.

One our first "not-date" (to the Museum of Natural History and Chillerama. Awesome right?) my husband was sure I wouldn't be interested in him because he was thirteen years older, and I thought he wouldn't be interested in me because I was so much younger... by the end of the night, I realized I liked him and didn't want to risk things by backing down because of what I thought he thought. So I casually made a point to mention how my grandfather was fifteen years older than my grandmother.

[.44SLINGER]

any advise is worth taking consideration, im a smoking and most people despise it. i just have one thing to say about first dates LIE ABOUT YOUR RELIGIOUS BELIEFS/keep them to yourself.

[Bethany]

Nay. My first date was a movie, he took me to see FF7: The Spirits Within, and I had NO IDEA what I was watching. Also it is really awkward negotiating body contact with someone you hardly know in those chairs. Best leave that for when you have more practice.

As all of my dates are blind dates, the prospect of sitting in the dark in extreme proximty to a complete stranger sends me in to a bona fide panic attack. Of course, we all know I'm not right.

[Emily]

I think the movie thing really depends on the person, and how similar you are when it comes to taste in movies and discussing them. The first date I ever went on was to see that movie Four Brothers with Mark Wahlberg and Andre 3000 and other actors I can't remember. I really didn't want to see it but didn't want to seem like a maniac who refuses to see movies, and it was so awkward, though not quite as awkward as afterwards when he thought movie was "fucken sick" and I was like LOL IT IS PAST MY BED TIME GOODNIGHT.

On the other hand, the best date I've ever been on was to see Inglorious Basterds. My date and I both really wanted to see it, I was super comfortable sitting next to him, and then afterwards we walked around Washington Square Park and talked about what we liked and didn't like, compared it to other Tarantino movies, and it was awesome. The relationship itself didn't last, but I think that's more because the way people feel about movies is one of those weird things you can have in common with someone even if you don't have much else in common, and vice versa.

[fernandito]

...and it was so awkward, though not quite as awkward as afterwards when he thought movie was "fucken sick" and I was like LOL IT IS PAST MY BED TIME GOODNIGHT.

lol, wait wait wait ! did you bounce because he liked the movie, or because he said "fucken sick"? Because that definitely sounds like something I would say :lol:

[Emily]

Hahaha because he described that awful movie as fucken sick. I say things are sick often. And dope. And tight.

[fernandito]

STOP COPYING ME EMILY, GOSH

[Emily]

OKAY MR. TYPES IN ALL CAPS :lol:

Now that we're talking about it though, does anyone have any rules as far as word usage goes when dating someone? Saying the word crucial to describe things that weren't at all crucial was popular when I was in high school and I freaking hated it. Like it made me lose attraction for people. Also my friend is dating this guy who doesn't think girls should swear, so she's been making an effort to not swear anymore. Which I told her is PRRRETTY FUCKIN DUMB.

[stkmw02]

My theory is... if you'd say it when you aren't on a date, why not say it on the date? My aunt is ten years older than me, so when I was little I looked up to her for dating advice. When her dates would arrive at the door to pick her up, my grandfather would answer in his underwear. My aunt would wear the same thing she wore to take me to the playground. And when she got home, she'd say "I burped twice, farted once, and dropped the F-bomb like a trucker. He has earned his second date!"

What I hate about dating is how people pretend to be things they are not... they try to be what the other person wants them to be. How can you expect to find true love if you aren't being truthful?

[Brice]

Precisely so! Be yourself! Fuck them if they don't like.

[fernandito]

Now that we're talking about it though, does anyone have any rules as far as word usage goes when dating someone? Saying the word crucial to describe things that weren't at all crucial was popular when I was in high school and I freaking hated it. Like it made me lose attraction for people. Also my friend is dating this guy who doesn't think girls should swear, so she's been making an effort to not swear anymore. Which I told her is PRRRETTY FUCKIN DUMB.

No, with one exception.* Actually, I love it when girls curse, probably because I curse a lot too. :blush:

*However, if we're at say ... a family dinner or something, then yeah I would expect her to temper her cursing urges a bit. My parents are really old school and I know they'd feel really uncomfortable with my date dropping the f bomb every other sentence. I've had good luck with the women I date in that regard.


When her dates would arrive at the door to pick her up, my grandfather would answer in his underwear.

Hmm ... if I ever have a little girl/s, I'm going to do this to scare all boys away. Oh and I'll eat cheeze wiz out of a can and clip my toenails in the living room, Al Bundy style.

[Bethany]

A fucken lady doesn't swear.

I try to moderate what I say at first because I *do* swear like a drunken sailor. Not everyone appreciates the beauty of a properly executed swear.

[fernandito]

Not everyone appreciates the beauty of a properly executed swear.

And that's the real tragedy, innit ? Fucking shame.

[Emily]

My parents would be freaked out if a guy I just started dating swore in front of them, too. I can't swear in front of parents, even parents of my friends who swear in front of me to begin with. However, amongst friends I am disgustingly vulgar.

[mystima]

you mean like this


http://youtu.be/3_Nrp7cj_tM

[Ka-mai]

This wasn't a date, but a guy friend who was into me, so sort of the same? :P Anyway. He would speak to other people in Spanish in front of me, with no translation. It just made me really paranoid. :lol: For all I know he was saying, "yeah, that's my girlfriend, I bang her twice a day" and I'm just standing there smiling like an idiot. I don't mind it if I get some idea of what is being talked about.

[RainInSpain]

This wasn't a date, but a guy friend who was into me, so sort of the same? :P Anyway. He would speak to other people in Spanish in front of me, with no translation. It just made me really paranoid. :lol: For all I know he was saying, "yeah, that's my girlfriend, I bang her twice a day" and I'm just standing there smiling like an idiot. I don't mind it if I get some idea of what is being talked about.

A date or not, it's just plain bad manners to do this. I often find myself in multilingual situations, and it's either everyone speaking English as the most common language, or someone will always translate.

[Ka-mai]

This is true. I don't know a lot of bilingual people so it's usually not a problem. I think he thought he was being mysterious and turning me on. :rolleyes::lol:

[Emily]

I'm so glad someone else feels like that about people speaking other languages, that's a huge concern of mine and I always felt kind of self centered for worrying about it. That's one of the worst feelings ever when you're the only person in a group not speaking the same language. In my head I'm always like THEY ARE ALL MAKING FUN OF MY FACE OH GOD OH GOD

[Bethany]

Pssst.....tu cara = your face. You can thank me later, Em.

[Emily]

...OH GOD

[Randall Flagg]

Do: Bring a condom
Don't: Bring 3 condoms-the first one will likely go unused; and even if it did, 1/3 sucks

[fernandito]

This wasn't a date, but a guy friend who was into me, so sort of the same? :P Anyway. He would speak to other people in Spanish in front of me, with no translation. It just made me really paranoid. :lol: For all I know he was saying, "yeah, that's my girlfriend, I bang her twice a day" and I'm just standing there smiling like an idiot. I don't mind it if I get some idea of what is being talked about.

A date or not, it's just plain bad manners to do this. I often find myself in multilingual situations, and it's either everyone speaking English as the most common language, or someone will always translate.

Yeah, that's pretty rude. I haven't had this problem too much as I've mostly dated latinas, but on those rare occasions that I've dated a girl from a different race, I make sure to translate the important bits. At the very least, I let her know the topic being discussed so that she knows the people involved aren't just flinging insults at her (though I would NEVER allow that to happen).



This is true. I don't know a lot of bilingual people so it's usually not a problem. I think he thought he was being mysterious and turning me on. :rolleyes::lol:

If he wasn't looking you in the eyes, speaking in a deep yet gentle tone, and radiating that fiery latino passion ... no, he wasn't trying to turn you on ahahaha.


I'm so glad someone else feels like that about people speaking other languages, that's a huge concern of mine and I always felt kind of self centered for worrying about it. That's one of the worst feelings ever when you're the only person in a group not speaking the same language. In my head I'm always like THEY ARE ALL MAKING FUN OF MY FACE OH GOD OH GOD

I dated this girl once whose family was from the Ukraine. I went with her to this family party that her grandmother and aunts were attending, and they were conversing in Ukrainian/Russian, and I was just smiling there like an idiot lol.

Yo quiero Taco Bell ?

[Ka-mai]

Trust me, you don't know this guy. He was weird. :ninja:

[sgc1999]

Precisely so! Be yourself! Fuck them if they don't like.

thats right.
" If people dont like you for who you are, Fuck em, Fuck em up against the wall with handcuffs on and craaazy glue on the lips...."
sorry, just thinking about the first "friday "movie. LOL that had to be the funniest part.
p.s. that being said, please excuse my language:)

[Jean]

I dated this girl once whose family was from the Ukraine. I went with her to this family party that her grandmother and aunts were attending, and they were conversing in Ukrainian/Russian, and I was just smiling there like an idiot lol.

A very dear friend of mine lives in France; her husband only speaks French (he is trying to learn Russian, but without much success). Whenever her mother (who only speaks Russian) comes to stay, Olga (the friend) complains:
"Sometimes Philippe and I have to discuss something important, so we do it in French, and she always butts in with totally irrelevant remarks, as if she was not aware there was any conversation going on! I suspect she thinks that when people are speaking in French it only means to her that they are not saying anything."

[Brice]

Precisely so! Be yourself! Fuck them if they don't like.

thats right.
" If people dont like you for who you are, Fuck em, Fuck em up against the wall with handcuffs on and craaazy glue on the lips...."
sorry, just thinking about the first "friday "movie. LOL that had to be the funniest part.
p.s. that being said, please excuse my language:):lol:

[Melike]

Don't: Make rules about dating.

:unsure:

I agree with Briceys wholeheartedly. If a person checks her/his phone more than you, on your first date, or talks with others a language you do not know without thinking it may make you feel uncomfortable, that means it is something about her/his personality. And you are dating to know each other. If you like their relationship with their phone, it means you've found your love. Otherwise, it is better that you see the things you do not like in your first date than later.

So. No rules.


This topic was brought up on a different forum and it spawned some very polarizing pov's, want to see what you guys think :

Going to the movies on a first date - yay or nay ?

I said 'yay', if, and only if there is something to supplement the trip to the theater. Dinner afterwards, most like. I would imagine on a first date you want to gauge how much (or how little) chemistry you have with the other person, and sitting in a dark room for two hours, not talking isn't exactly the most efficient way to measure that. If you're going to dinner afterwards though, you'll have something to talk about / fall back on, and you can get to know that person better.

I went to a movie (The Hunger Games) on my first date with the girl I'm talking to, we went to dinner afterwards and honestly it was a great date.
Yay, of course.

[fernandito]

Going to the movies on a first date - yay or nay ?

Yay, of course.

Wanna go watch Django Unchained with me? :)

[Odetta]

movies are fine on first date... but it sucks if one of you really likes the movie you saw and the other hates it. But then, you would see you don't really have enough in common and you can end the whole thing right then and there... because seriously, if you can't like the same movies, you are doomed

[alkanto]

I just...really have no idea how to date :lol:

[Melike]

Going to the movies on a first date - yay or nay ?

Yay, of course.

Wanna go watch Django Unchained with me? :)

Django Unchained?! An offer that can't be refused! :D


I just...really have no idea how to date :lol:

That is the point. :D

[DoctorDodge]

I just...really have no idea how to date :lol:

What, you're telling me you learned nothing from me? :o

More than probably for the best. :lol:

[Bethany]

A few weeks ago I had a date in the works with a guy that lives a couple of hours away. We had been talking for a few weeks and even had met up at DragonCon. I was going to my sister's for the weekend, which was a few minutes from where he lives. He kept suggesting a movie. I told him that after sitting at my desk for 8 hours and then driving almost 3 more, I didn't want to sit for 2 more. We were going to be in a city second only to Atlanta for things to do and all he could come up with was a movie. I guess I wasn't supposed to have an opinion because he jerked out on me and that was it.

[alkanto]

I just...really have no idea how to date :lol:

What, you're telling me you learned nothing from me? :o

More than probably for the best. :lol:

Yeah, see....after trying (unsuccessfully) now I'm even more confused :wtf:

[Emily]

A few weeks ago I had a date in the works with a guy that lives a couple of hours away. We had been talking for a few weeks and even had met up at DragonCon. I was going to my sister's for the weekend, which was a few minutes from where he lives. He kept suggesting a movie. I told him that after sitting at my desk for 8 hours and then driving almost 3 more, I didn't want to sit for 2 more. We were going to be in a city second only to Atlanta for things to do and all he could come up with was a movie. I guess I wasn't supposed to have an opinion because he jerked out on me and that was it.

I will kill him.

[John Blaze]

with fire.

[Bethany]

http://i77.photobucket.com/albums/j58/susanfox86/Untitled-1.jpg

[fernandito]

...because seriously, if you can't like the same movies, you are doomed

QFT.

I went on a date earlier this year with a girl I met at friend's bday party. It was around the time The Avengers was in theaters. I asked her if she wanted to check it out and she said and I quote "I don't watch those kind of movies." I said it's fine, that we could watch something else, but in my head I kept thinking "LOL NOPE"




I just...really have no idea how to date :lol:

That is the point. :D

This. There's no template for dating, it's just finding the right person (i.e same interests) and seeing what works for both of you.

I like to keep things in equilibrium. Some weekends I want go to clubs/bars and shake my ass to salsa and get plastered. Some weekends I just want to have quiet nights in and watch bad horror movies and eat pizza. It's all about finding the person that synchronizes with the tempo of your lifestyle. Ideally, anyway.


A few weeks ago I had a date in the works with a guy that lives a couple of hours away. We had been talking for a few weeks and even had met up at DragonCon. I was going to my sister's for the weekend, which was a few minutes from where he lives. He kept suggesting a movie. I told him that after sitting at my desk for 8 hours and then driving almost 3 more, I didn't want to sit for 2 more. We were going to be in a city second only to Atlanta for things to do and all he could come up with was a movie. I guess I wasn't supposed to have an opinion because he jerked out on me and that was it.

Jaysus. Where are you finding these guys, Lameasses.com?

[Melike]

...because seriously, if you can't like the same movies, you are doomed

QFT.

I went on a date earlier this year with a girl I met at friend's bday party. It was around the time The Avengers was in theaters. I asked her if she wanted to check it out and she said and I quote "I don't watch those kind of movies." I said it's fine, that we could watch something else, but in my head I kept thinking "LOL NOPE"
Yeah. It was disappointing when he came up with the idea of watching Love Actually at first week of Kill Bill.






I just...really have no idea how to date :lol:

That is the point. :D

This. There's no template for dating, it's just finding the right person (i.e same interests) and seeing what works for both of you.

I like to keep things in equilibrium. Some weekends I want go to clubs/bars and shake my ass to salsa and get plastered. Some weekends I just want to have quiet nights in and watch bad horror movies and eat pizza. It's all about finding the person that synchronizes with the tempo of your lifestyle. Ideally, anyway.
Definitely.
Well... Eating pizza can be also performed at salsa nights.

[fernandito]

:lol:, touche!

[alkanto]

It is not so much needing a template, just not knowing what to do on dates. I don't think I am hardly comfortable with myself to have any idea what a date should even be like. And the few dates I have been on were...awkward. Just on my end, personally but I was either too nervous to function or just zoned out. Not good...

[RainInSpain]

Myself, I'm not exactly the most outgoing, "everybody-loves-me" type of person, too, but I've always felt strangely comfortable around men, including on dates. I dunno, maybe I've just been lucky, but we have always been able to find stuff to talk about that was not the usual awkward small talk that seems to take place when people are interested in each other but are afraid to scare each other off.
Or maybe every one of my dates just had pity on me and made it sound as if they were interested in what the hell it was I was talking about :lol:

[fernandito]

Yeah, as horribly cliched as it sounds, you just have to be yourself. When I first started dating I was so self conscious about the whole situation that I ended up having some pretty terrible dates at first. Will she like me? What will she think of my hair? My laugh? What if she thinks my taste in music is boring? At some point you just have to move past those things.

What are things that YOU like to do? Do you like to watch movies in theaters? Do you like to go bowling? Hang out at the beach? Do things within your comfort zone until you eventually start branching out. How can you expect your date to be comfortable with you if you're not comfortable with yourself?

[alkanto]

ThAt might be my problem...I generally don't like hanging out with other people :lol: but I am still interested in dating...

[Bethany]

Yeah, as horribly cliched as it sounds, you just have to be yourself. When I first started dating I was so self conscious about the whole situation that I ended up having some pretty terrible dates at first. Will she like me? What will she think of my hair? My laugh? What if she thinks my taste in music is boring? At some point you just have to move past those things.

What are things that YOU like to do? Do you like to watch movies in theaters? Do you like to go bowling? Hang out at the beach? Do things within your comfort zone until you eventually start branching out. How can you expect your date to be comfortable with you if you're not comfortable with yourself?

I think one of my biggest issues is that, at heart, I am still socially 14 years old. I never dated when I was younger, I met my ex the day after I turned 14 and was with him exclusively until I divorced at age 36. However, I am now almost 41 years old and I know who I am, what I like, etc. and you can either jump on board or eff off. So it's a nice ball of conflicted Beffy I got going on. The good thing is that Beffy ball usually smells pretty good :)

[sgc1999]

try online dateing. takes the pressure off:)
of course you may find out your dream date is a psychotic monkey on crack!
anybody watching that catfish series???
you never know...

[Bethany]

try online dateing. takes the pressure off:)
of course you may find out your dream date is a psychotic monkey on crack!
anybody watching that catfish series???
you never know...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Where do you think I'm meeting all these fine specimens?
I love Catfish. I want to work with them.

[sgc1999]

:)

[Emily]

It is not so much needing a template, just not knowing what to do on dates. I don't think I am hardly comfortable with myself to have any idea what a date should even be like. And the few dates I have been on were...awkward. Just on my end, personally but I was either too nervous to function or just zoned out. Not good...

I think you'll get more comfortable. It's corny, but I think it really is like anything else in the sense that it just takes practice. With the practice comes confidence, and that's when it starts being fun and stops being terrifying :lol: . The too nervous to function feeling is one I know all too well, but I don't even remember the last time I got it now. I mean, I still worry about some stuff, like for example I don't think I'll ever stop worrying about offending people by accident. But after a few dates you start to worry less about saying the right thing or not seeming cool. Idk. IT GETS BETTER is what I am saying, lol.

[Emily]

Plus, then kissing happens and kissing is my favorite.

[Melike]

Yeah, as horribly cliched as it sounds, you just have to be yourself. When I first started dating I was so self conscious about the whole situation that I ended up having some pretty terrible dates at first. Will she like me? What will she think of my hair? My laugh? What if she thinks my taste in music is boring? At some point you just have to move past those things.

What are things that YOU like to do? Do you like to watch movies in theaters? Do you like to go bowling? Hang out at the beach? Do things within your comfort zone until you eventually start branching out. How can you expect your date to be comfortable with you if you're not comfortable with yourself?
It seems to me all cliches were the truth at some point back in time before turning into what they are now. (I sometimes feel I write the things ridiculously in English, while thinking sensible in my native language...)

I think, if you're really into someone, and you end up on a date, all you have to do is enjoy that moment that will never come back. I mean, you'll never be reading The Dark Tower for the first time.


ThAt might be my problem...I generally don't like hanging out with other people :lol: but I am still interested in dating...
You know. This is a paradox.

[DoctorDodge]

Plus, then kissing happens and kissing is my favorite.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5n0qiyMNS1r70podo1_500.gif

Amen!

[fernandito]

I think, if you're really into someone, and you end up on a date, all you have to do is enjoy that moment that will never come back. I mean, you'll never be reading The Dark Tower the first time.

Yup.

My train of thought is that dates aren't supposed to be 'like' anything.

Did you do it big and go for a movie, dinner, and perhaps a round of mini golfing on a Friday night? Great! Did you just meet up at a coffee shop for an hour before you both had to head out to work? That's perfectly fine too.

It's all about enjoying yourselves and relishing each others' company.

[alkanto]

ThAt might be my problem...I generally don't like hanging out with other people :lol: but I am still interested in dating...
You know. This is a paradox.

Oh, I am well aware. Might've been better phrased as such, I don't like doing what normal people do. I want a date to be romping through the woods, then going to a coffee shop. Or playing D&D. Or going to the archery range. Or a museum. I'm all over the place. Most mostly I want to go out ao do something. I found out that I am not the type to sit home all day and watch movies, most of the time.

[Melike]

I think, if you're really into someone, and you end up on a date, all you have to do is enjoy that moment that will never come back. I mean, you'll never be reading The Dark Tower the first time.

Yup.

My train of thought is that dates aren't supposed to be 'like' anything.

Did you do it big and go for a movie, dinner, and perhaps a round of mini golfing on a Friday night? Great! Did you just meet up at a coffee shop for an hour before you both had to head out to work? That's perfectly fine too.

It's all about enjoying yourselves and relishing each others' company.

:couple: Translated my ideas so well.







ThAt might be my problem...I generally don't like hanging out with other people :lol: but I am still interested in dating...
You know. This is a paradox.

Oh, I am well aware. Might've been better phrased as such, I don't like doing what normal people do. I want a date to be romping through the woods, then going to a coffee shop. Or playing D&D. Or going to the archery range. Or a museum. I'm all over the place. Most mostly I want to go out ao do something. I found out that I am not the type to sit home all day and watch movies, most of the time.

I understand what you mean. And it is a great thing if you find a person who share same interests with you, but, from the beginning all I am trying to tell is, that, it is the greatest is you find a person who makes you prefer/feel more happy to be sitting at home just to be with him, when you could do scuba diving.




To me it should be about creating beautiful memories. Not for looking cool and impressing the other one. Well, I am the least cool person alive for almost all the time, maybe because of this I improved this idea. :D

[DoctorDodge]

To me it should be about creating beautiful memories. Not for looking cool and impressing the other one. Well, I am the least cool person alive for almost all the time, maybe because of this I improved this idea. :D

Oh please, if anyone's the least cool person alive, it'll be me! You do art, for crying out loud! Automatic cool points right there! (Oh, and definitely approve of your thoughts on sitting at home with someone who makes you happy ideally being enough. Then again, my idea of a perfect love song is "Lazy" by Suede, so don't trust my standards! :lol:)

[Melike]

To me it should be about creating beautiful memories. Not for looking cool and impressing the other one. Well, I am the least cool person alive for almost all the time, maybe because of this I improved this idea. :D

Oh please, if anyone's the least cool person alive, it'll be me! You do art, for crying out loud! Automatic cool points right there! (Oh, and definitely approve of your thoughts on sitting at home with someone who makes you happy ideally being enough. Then again, my idea of a perfect love song is "Lazy" by Suede, so don't trust my standards! :lol:)

Ah, yeah, but my art has been cool when I was five years old.
I invite you to a duel. :shoot:

And also;
It means someone you'd prefer over laziness is ideal. :D

[DoctorDodge]

I invite you to a duel. :shoot:

I'll accept only if there's sandwiches, and it'd be half as awesome as this at least: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adgnJ37i8DE



And also;
It means someone you'd prefer over laziness is ideal. :D

That's true. Doubly ideal if she was into 90s britpop, too! :D

[Emily]

I understand what you mean. And it is a great thing if you find a person who share same interests with you, but, from the beginning all I am trying to tell is, that, it is the greatest is you find a person who makes you prefer/feel more happy to be sitting at home just to be with him, when you could do scuba diving.


This is perfectly said.

Random- I was thinking on my way to work how amazing it feels when someone you are interested in asks you out and how on the inside you're like OH MY GOD HAHAHAH YES CUE FIREWORKS & PARADE but outwardly you're just like ok, yeah! Anyway, that's how it has been for me :lol:

[alkanto]

I think, if you're really into someone, and you end up on a date, all you have to do is enjoy that moment that will never come back. I mean, you'll never be reading The Dark Tower the first time.

Yup.

My train of thought is that dates aren't supposed to be 'like' anything.

Did you do it big and go for a movie, dinner, and perhaps a round of mini golfing on a Friday night? Great! Did you just meet up at a coffee shop for an hour before you both had to head out to work? That's perfectly fine too.

It's all about enjoying yourselves and relishing each others' company.

:couple: Translated my ideas so well.







ThAt might be my problem...I generally don't like hanging out with other people :lol: but I am still interested in dating...
You know. This is a paradox.

Oh, I am well aware. Might've been better phrased as such, I don't like doing what normal people do. I want a date to be romping through the woods, then going to a coffee shop. Or playing D&D. Or going to the archery range. Or a museum. I'm all over the place. Most mostly I want to go out ao do something. I found out that I am not the type to sit home all day and watch movies, most of the time.

I understand what you mean. And it is a great thing if you find a person who share same interests with you, but, from the beginning all I am trying to tell is, that, it is the greatest is you find a person who makes you prefer/feel more happy to be sitting at home just to be with him, when you could do scuba diving.




To me it should be about creating beautiful memories. Not for looking cool and impressing the other one. Well, I am the least cool person alive for almost all the time, maybe because of this I improved this idea. :D

Sorry, I am dense. But thanks for the advice, really. I am working on it. It might be a long road, but yeah...working on it :D And I acutally might be closer now than I was yesterday. If only I can figure out how to ask someone on a date... :lol:

[Bethany]

This conversation inspired me to unhide my dating profile. Within 2 hours I had an email from a 19 year old (19 year olds dig me. I don't know why.), a married man hittting me up for some casual fun (married men love some Bethany, too.), a friend's ex husband that is certifiably scary crazy in that he has kidnapped their daughter a time or two and has a restraining order against him, and a 62 year old man that likes my ta-tas (considering my ta-tas are no where to be found on my profile, makes me wonder).

Did I ever tell you guys about getting the email from the 70 year old with a bedside toilet in the background of his bathroom mirror self-portrait?

[Melike]

Sorry, I am dense. But thanks for the advice, really. I am working on it. It might be a long road, but yeah...working on it :D And I acutally might be closer now than I was yesterday.

:) I am not crafted enough to be the advising one. If that happens, follow the opposite way for success. :) I'm sorry if I was like over-explaining or giving advices. As I said before, grammar and vocabulary forces me sometimes, so I might sound weird.

Also, as far as I knew you, you're one of the lovely people around. What does that dense mean then? You meant "intense"?


If only I can figure out how to ask someone on a date... :lol:

Now that's difficult.

[Bethany]

Plus, then kissing happens and kissing is my favorite.

I love that this is the top of page post. Kissing is awesome. The last guy used the oh, let me get your hair out of your face fake off move and I like it. Then my stupid kid showed up. >.<

[Melike]

I understand what you mean. And it is a great thing if you find a person who share same interests with you, but, from the beginning all I am trying to tell is, that, it is the greatest is you find a person who makes you prefer/feel more happy to be sitting at home just to be with him, when you could do scuba diving.


This is perfectly said.

Random- I was thinking on my way to work how amazing it feels when someone you are interested in asks you out and how on the inside you're like OH MY GOD HAHAHAH YES CUE FIREWORKS & PARADE but outwardly you're just like ok, yeah! Anyway, that's how it has been for me :lol:

Ah, that's true! :D But, one way or another, I end up telling what I really felt after some time.

[alkanto]

Sorry, I am dense. But thanks for the advice, really. I am working on it. It might be a long road, but yeah...working on it :D And I acutally might be closer now than I was yesterday.

:) I am not crafted enough to be the advising one. If that happens, follow the opposite way for success. :) I'm sorry if I was like over-explaining or giving advices. As I said before, grammar and vocabulary forces me sometimes, so I might sound weird.

Also, as far as I knew you, you're one of the lovely people around. What does that dense mean then? You meant "intense"?


If only I can figure out how to ask someone on a date... :lol:

Now that's difficult.

Well, I guess I mean dense as in, stubborn :P