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[Tito_Villa]

Well i have been thinking about starting to write my own story for a while, (not sure how long it will be at the moment) which will be my 1st attempt at doing so since i stopped doing English at school 8 years ago and today i have finally taken the plunge :scared:

So i wondered if anyone had any tips for me and if possible could read my 1st paragraph (whish is below) giving me your thoughts on it :scared: :scared: :scared:

There seems to be one moment in everyone’s lives that they can remember as though it happened yesterday, a moment that’s so fresh in your mind that you could close your eyes and pick out the tiniest details. You can set the scene for anyone with the time of day, who you are with and where, even if the birds are tweeting their blissful ballads to the sun. All because time stood still, seconds feeling like minutes or even hours consequently cementing facts into the subconscious. Unfortunately though, this length of time isn’t always the happiest of memories and this was the case when I was woken 5 years ago today by the cheesiest of mobile alarm tones. Little was I to know that this phone call had started a chain of events that would change my perception of reality, bending the barrier between what’s real and what isn’t, changing me forever.



Thanks
Tom

[Brice]

My thoughts: Write more! :)

[Jean]

Yes, please. It is intriguing, and I don't want to think it is too intriguing for its own good - like, the story is going to ruin the expectation. That, by the way, might be the trap - if you fail to write the story to satisfy this anticipation you induced in the last line.

Another observation - if you really need criticism, that is - is that the first passage seems a little - shit, I forgot the English word - what is it when there's too much furniture in a confined space? I mean, in spite of being intelligent and succeeding in conveying its image, it doesn't "flow", whatever that meant, the reader has to go back to the beginning to grasp all that you wanted to put there. Maybe it's just that bears are tired, though, but I would break it into two, with maybe something on a lighter note in between. Sorry for advice - you seemed to want it, right?

Bears want to know what exactly happened.

[Hannah]

I like it... I would like to read more. You should write some more and have Jean or one of us other staff folks change the title of this thread to the working title of your piece.

[candy]

i like it, a lot

follow Brice advice

write more

[Jon]

It DOES tempt the reader. You have us on the hook.

[flaggwalkstheline]

I like it, i'm curious what you'll do with it
it seems like a very tightly coiled paragraph, perhaps you could stretch that one paragraph out into a whole chapter or a few pages? just a thought, there's a whole lot there to work with

[Tito_Villa]

I like it, i'm curious what you'll do with it
it seems like a very tightly coiled paragraph, perhaps you could stretch that one paragraph out into a whole chapter or a few pages? just a thought, there's a whole lot there to work with

Thanks for the tips and feedback, i have the story generally thought out ... its sort of a play on something that has happened to me in the past ... i think i will try to go on :)

[Tito_Villa]

Well over 2,000 words done ... im quite enjoying this!

[Dagavidiab]

Wow! Keep doing it!

[Jean]

yes, please

[Tito_Villa]

Almost 10,000 words done as of 5 minutes ago and i think i have most of the book planned out now too. One highlight so far has been researching aggressive tribes of the rainforest :)

[Woofer]

*flamethrower The Thing*

(Sorry, just a little Halloween joke.)

[Dagavidiab]

Almost 10,000 words done as of 5 minutes ago and i think i have most of the book planned out now too. One highlight so far has been researching aggressive tribes of the rainforest :)
Just to mess with you, I was looking for a picture who fit this criteria, until i remembered Cannibal Holocaust.... Then i decided not to mess with you :(

[Euryon]

Tip: If you're wanting to ever publish this (and get paid), or anything else, not a good idea to post it online, anywhere.

[Tito_Villa]

Tip: If you're wanting to ever publish this (and get paid), or anything else, not a good idea to post it online, anywhere.

Hey yeah thanks for that! Someone else has already told me that which is why i haven't been poting anymore on here ... all the 13,000 words so far are between me and my proof reader (my girlfriend) :)

[Euryon]

Good to hear ;) I lost out on getting published by learning that the hard way <_<

[Tito_Villa]

How did that stop you getting published though?

Infact i've not written a word for a week so i must try to get some more done in the next few days. My problem is that when i have got out of the swing for a while it's hard to start again!

[Tito_Villa]

Got to 25,000 words during my lunch hour today. Getting to the meaty parts now and having abit of fun with it :)

Oh and thanks to David for some translations!

[Darkthoughts]

I've done 27000 words so far for nanowrimo, I probably won't get to 50000 by next week, but I'm going to carry on anyway. My advice would be, write and write and write. Even if it seems a bit crappy sometimes, don't stop and reread the whole thing until you've finished. If you need to remember where you'd got to just reread the last paragraph, but too much rereading and analysing what you've written can put you off, make you too self critical. You can edit and rewrite to your hearts content when you're finished :thumbsup:

[Tito_Villa]

Cool thanks for the tips :)

[Dagavidiab]

Got to 25,000 words during my lunch hour today. Getting to the meaty parts now and having abit of fun with it :)

Oh and thanks to David for some translations!
Oh, I'm blushing!!! :blush:
Any time my friend

[Tito_Villa]

Not updated for some time, but earlier today i completed my 155th page and am over 85,000 words. The story should progress over 100,000 in time, looking forward to finally completing it which is finally on the horizon!

[Tito_Villa]

Writing at a faster pace now, usually between 1,000 and 2,000 words a day.
Just past 105,000 words and have completed the 199th page!

[Jon]

Keep going, man!

[Tito_Villa]

Oh i intend on doing just that, it has to be finished now!