After getting chewed a new one in boot by the drill instructor.
"I eat Green Beret's for Breakfast" - Commando
or
After a kid has a mega tantrum in a store saying he never gets what he wants.
"You ever suck dick for coke?" - Half Baked
After getting chewed a new one in boot by the drill instructor.
"I eat Green Beret's for Breakfast" - Commando
or
After a kid has a mega tantrum in a store saying he never gets what he wants.
"You ever suck dick for coke?" - Half Baked
Right after accepting a contracting job.
"The hammer is my penis." - Capt. Hammer [Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog]
Elodin: "Tombs is for feckless twits who can't chew their own food. My boy's a Re'lar! He has the feck of twenty men!"
Kvothe: “Books are a poor substitute for female companionship, but they are easier to find.”
Simmon: ”It’s just ointment in case you get burned...but if you mix it with piss, it turns into candy.” Sim’s expression was deadpan. “Delicious candy.”
Seeing that the condom broke.
"This is my boomstick!" - Ash [Army of Darkness]
Bust a Move is NOT an appropriate answer for everything.
Like you break your leg. And the douche next to you shouldn't be yelling, "bust a move!"
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watching someone getting humped on the leg by their dog,
"you can love your pets, just don't love your pets." Janeane Garofalo The Truth About Cats and Dogs.
Does whatever a spiderman does.
Witnessing two of your close friends decide to get a divorce...
"Do you guys know when the next Haley's comet is?"Alan from the Hangover
Suppose that all worlds, all universes, met at a single nexus, a single pylon, a Tower.
At a funeral...
The key here, I think, is to not think of death as an end. But... but... think of it more as a very effective way of cutting down on your expenses. -Love and Death
If you're ever in a courtroom for any reason, even just as a spectator, and the judge pronounces the sentence stand up and scream "AND THEN" - Dude Where's My Car
"Tina, you fat lard, come get your dinner!" - Napoleon Dynamite.
Never use when the person you are talking to is actually named Tina.
Next time someone asks you "Is this true?" reply with "Its true. This man has no dick"
If you love me then love me..
It's inappropriate to always scream "YOU WANT THE TRUTH!??! YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!" every time anyone speaks of truth... but it sure is funny.
That's a nod to Feev, btw... from long ago...
But here's one:
Someone's at the oncologist... just told they have cancer. It is not appropriate at this point to say, "It is not a tumah!"
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When a blind/first date orders a cranberry juice: "What, do you got ya period?" (The Departed), had to, I think that part of the movie is hilarious.
"If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, then you will never change the outcome" -Michael Jordan
HOw about when your supervisor at work comes over to compliment you or a co-worker on a job well doene (and you know there is still a lot left to do) avoid saying "well, let's not start sucking each other's di*ks just yet." (from Pulp Ficition)
People are always talking about truth.Everybody knows what the truth is,like it was toilet paper or somethin...All there is is bull*...One layer of bullshit on top of another...what you do in life...pick the layer of bull* that you prefer...
After your wife gives birth. Don't say "That'll do pig; that'll do."
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So you finally get that job at K-mart.
Now is not the time to say, "K-mart sucks".
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www.facebook.com/thespermwhaleandbowlofpetunias
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never use a movie quote during sex.
it will be the absolute last time you ever have sex with that particular individual.
particularly the following from Liar, Liar:
"I've had better."
And don't say "Hello to my little friend" as part of foreplay.
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to borrow a line from Elm Street 2
NEVER, while applying for a daycare center, utter the phrase "you are all my children now."
At a job interview, don't offer really personal knowledge, such as from Rainman: "I buy my boxers at K-mart."
This is my blog/page:
www.facebook.com/thespermwhaleandbowlofpetunias
This is my donation page:
https://www.razoo.com/br/causes/Maje...h-Resorption-1
When asked how your big presentation at work went: "I showed him my thing and it killed him."
In Digitized Remorse
Werebat, you are so filled with awesomeness I may explode!!!!!!!!
*takes a bow* Thank you veddy much!!
When meeting your future father-in-law for the first time: "Well hello Mister Fancy Pants!"
In Digitized Remorse