Llamalady Poetry

[LadyHitchhiker]

I thought I'd start sharing some of my serious poetry, that isn't just parodies, but alas and alack I am wondering where they have floated to. Here's one to wet your lips though, just a taste for now. This one I made years ago, and it is actually a song, and I'm not sure if all the words are precisely what I had written down, but it's close enough to get the gist. It's been in my head a lot lately because of stuff that's gone on in my life.

Another Done Somebody Wrong Song

I know I should leave you
If I wanna save my mind at all;
but if I leave you
I know I'll surely fall

I wish I could make it right again
after all the stupid things I said.
I had to leave you far behind
so I wouldn't lose my mind
and it's wrong, wrong, wrong,
that you're gone, gone, gone
so I have to sing this song again.

And if I hadn't left you
I would've left my mind behind
but since I left you
I left my soul behind

I wish I could make it right again
Feel like I’ve lost my only friend
I had to leave you far behind
So I wouldn’t lose my mind
And it’s wrong wrong wrong
That you’re gone gone gone
I have to sing this song again

And since you're dead now
I know I can't bring you back
I've fallen apart now
feel like I've had a heart attack.

I wish I could make it right again
Now that I've lost it all again
now that I've left you behind
I've finally lost my mind
And it’s wrong wrong wrong
That it’s gone gone gone
This way we can be together again

For what can it profit
anyone at all?
If you save your mind,
but lose your heart in the fall?

It might be wrong wrong wrong
if I too were gone gone gone
but then maybe we could be together again?

Feedback is welcome. Hopefully I can dig up some good stuff soon.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Ooooooooooooh I found a few more:

"You Guys Were There"

When I did things so excellent
You guys were there.
When I didn't do things you said I did;
When you were so benevolent
You guys weren't there.
When I tried to be nice
You made me act as if I had lice
You never gave me a second chance twice
And you were there.
Only six of you
Never tried to deny the truth
Because they knew what I was
And they didn't bother me because
They were nice.
You guys didn't care.
But the rest,
O the rest,
The rest that put my patience to the test...
You... You were there at the worst times
Ready to tease me and torture me in line
You guys were there.
You stared
You glared
You didn't care.
You guys were there.
You hate me.
You degraded me.
No one of you liked me
And I liked everybody
Except for those who were always there.
You guys were there,
And my friends weren't.
You guys were there
Faster than the river's currents.
You guys were there
Ready to insult.
You guys wer there
More faithful than a priest and his cult.
You guys were there,
Ready to pay your toll.
You guys were always there
Ready to be assholes.


"Post-Vietnam-Syndrome"
Mommy, the ghosts are back
but they're not only im my dreams
Daddy's friend is blue and black
can't you hear his screams?
Mommy, I'm seeing nightmares
but they're not only in my room
Daddy would care
I'm getting sent to my doom
Mommy, no.. don't send me to bed -
do you know what you're doing?
I'm gonna be dead -
do you know what you're doing?
Mommy, help G. I. Joe
He just lost a leg
Mommy, help me, I don't know;
is he alive or is he dead?
Mommy, Dadd's crying
his friend's black and blue and red
Daddy yells at him: he can't be dying
Mommy, is he dead?
Mommy, what's going on now?
He's all covered with blood
If he drops his hands now
then he'll release the flood.
Daddy's in the field now
he can't get no release
what's he doing now?
He's got blood all over his fatigues
Mommy, why were you fighting
with Daddy that night?
It was scary, all the lightning
just amplified the fight.
Mommy, why were all those men
pulling Daddy away?
I still remember what he said:
"You're not going to die today!
Mommy, you're covered with red
May I ask you a question?
Mommy, is Daddy dead?
Why do you keep saying: "God bless him"?
Mommy, whose blood is that?
Do you know what you're doing?
Mommy, where's dad?
Do you know what you're doing?
Mommy, fix G. I. Joe;
you can make everything okay
Mommy, where'd my daddy go?
Is he gonna die today?

And no, they aren't all dark.

[Jon]

I cannot stand not knowing who the "six" are in "You Guys Were There."


Good stuff, BTW

[LadyHitchhiker]

Thanks! I know I've got better stuff somewhere... but damned if I can remember where I put it... but as soon as I can find more of it... And then I'll add new stuff here too!

[Jon]

Who, or what are "the six?"

[LadyHitchhiker]

The six were the six people in my class who were actually nice to me. The rest of the 30 kids in the class were very emotionally, verbally, and sometimes physically abusive to me. Gotta love that Catholic School. That one was written back in junior high... It was basically about how people only were friends when they felt like it, and only supported me when it behooved them. That nobody really was my friend, and that the six were just nice because it was in their nature, not because they wanted to be my friend.

[LadyHitchhiker]

(my only published work of poetry)

Sweetest Therapy
I never wrote for you
and I never will.
I wrote for me
and I always will.
Maybe someday, you could be my muse,
which means maybe you'll put some ideas in my head,
but I don't want you to confuse
yourself in thinking I don't still write for myself.
I might write to you
but that's still for me.
It is my sweetest therapy.

[Jon]

Well...make it 7 now dear.

[Jean]

more than that, I believe

[LadyHitchhiker]

I you two!!!!!!!

[Mark]

Brilliant pieces of Poetry, you have a wonderful gift

[LadyHitchhiker]

Wow! Thanks Bruce Wayne!

Just for the encouragement, I located some more of my poetry! As you can tell, I use all sorts of different rhyme schemes, and all sorts of different styles and inspirations. I'm not just a parody girl, as some people thought I was... though those are my favorite because they're silly... A lot of my poetry just contains so much pain in my life, and so much growth and it's really hard to share because it's so personal. And when someone else reads it, maybe they won't see what I shared, but I still shared it, if that makes sense. But none of this next section are personal, I have plenty of personal ones to share later!

But here's one of my favorite:

It's A Nuclear World
Try try again
till the world does end
heroes burn as well as I
Messages they may send
but when the world does end
at least I know I tried
When the flames do burn the hands that tend
the chickens of Ken
and the scripts which says only the strong survive
We'll look at our friends
and know the dead end
and realize no one will know we were alive
Not when life springs again
or a baby reaches ten
or a horse reaches fifty-five, then dies
Nor about the ears we did lend
or the laws we did bend
Not that girls thought themselves below guys
They won't know of a pen
or the hearts it opened
or the tears it brought to people's eyes
Not of suntan lotion
and suppressed emotions
or even how to create knives
When they look up then
when the future happens
then they'll know and realize
It's a wonderful life
It's a Nuclear World
So much for Crimson Tide.

All These Sorries
6 days until I'm 22
my thoughts STILL they return to you
in my heart you still remain
and because of this there is pain.
All those sorries you said for
no reason before
could be used now instead
of making this bed
and lying in it.
But this is your decision, isn't it?
And I made mine.
I can't stay sane with you in this life of mine.

Sea Cow
Well, I wouldn't go anywhere without you
Actually, on second though, I probably would.
And there's nothing you couldn't give me to make me happier.
Well actually, now that I think about it, you could.
You could quit getting lucky with my boyfriend
- no I'm not exactly saying you're a whore -
and when you go to sleep at night if you would please
put a pillow over your face when you snore.
Well everywhere I go with you I get taunted
and at us they try to catapault cows
I'm a very patient person
but it's kinda getting a little annoying now.
You're bearable to be about in public,
except when you burst out into song
and I don't know why the freaks
always tell you to go back to the zoo where you belong.
Well everywhere I go with you I get taunted
and at us they try to catapault cows
They're threatening to call the DNR
and it's getting a little annoying now,
Because you see, you're my best friend.
No, wait! You're just a sea cow!

All Is Gone
the vial drops
and all is gone
no good cop, bad cop
no good, no wrong
the vial drops
the acids rise
they burn their throats
they burn their eyes
And all is gone
All is gone
cause stupid man
thought it would protect us
in the long run
The bomb falls
the shroom cloud spreads
gone is all
all are dead
nothing left
except for bugs
no one bereft
no one's graves are dug
And all is gone
All is gone
cause stupid man
thought it would protect us
in the long run
the computers fail
the patients die
everyone wails
planes fall, don't fly
elevators crash down to the first floor
everything's gone wrong
there's nobody anymore
cause all is gone gone gone
gone gone gone
Because stupid man
thought he could protect us
in the long run.

[LadyHitchhiker]

This one's funny, and based partially on a true story, exaggerated for dramatic effect. We'll start light and get a little deeper. Feedback is welcome, guys!

Vanity is a Great Game to Play At
A very special person
came up the other day
and asked for my opinion
on the world today.
They asked me a question
and it was "who would be
in your opinion
the most fascinating person of the past century?"
And of course
I thought about it but only for a jiffy -
when you've got such small resources,
you always revert to the most important people you see -
and so I had to put down my name.
Ah yes, there it is you see!
No I'm not insane!
My name's in the high school newspaper. That's me!
Maybe it was 'cause I'm a senior
maybe it's cause I'm cool
maybe it's cause all the others were inferior
because all the rest were just fools.
But that's my name in black and white!
That's my name right there!
That's right.
They put my name. Oh beware!
Now the journalists are swarming
like millions of killer bees.
They ask me questions about global warming
and about all the latest policies.
They ask me about biological warfare
and the new style of Big Mac.
They give me tons of free teddy bears.
They ask me to sign their battery packs.
Sure. There were a few others mentioned
but none as beautiful as me
and half of the others are dead,
kaput, deceased!
Now me and my boyfriend
can't even go out on a date
without being asked when's the world going to end
since he said: "Bill Gates,"
and got his name in the news.
Now at first it was a lot of fun
but now I guess I'm having the blues.
Am I the only one
losing the feeling of novelty?
But I can't retract my statement
since people worship me.
And imagine the beratement
I would undergo
if suddenly people came under the impression
that I was not in the know.
They'd all be in great depressions
because I put down my name.
Now they worship me
and they'd call me insane
if I tell them: "I didn't mean me!"
But even though it's lost its novelty,
I can't help but feel it's kind a sweet
to be the most fascinating person of the century
even if the only one who voted for me was me.

Broken
Broken rusted swings
Broken rusted dreams
the grown girl sings
only to keep away the screams.
A Libra fixed on love and balance
found something broken
and with no chance
no magic tokens
to fix it she still invested
herself
And found the best
in herself.
In the end, the body lay broken
her heart it too never the same
but even with the right tokens
she wouldn't have known how to win this game.
At least she had found him
known him
loved him.
She is now stronger because of him.

Time It Was
Time it was
and what a time it was
it was
a time for burning incense
and losing confidences
far away
he must be
I have a photograph
that's all of him that's left you see
only memories.

Some Wounds
I can't give you up -
not now or ever.
Some wounds never heal,
they just fester.
I loved you, I love you
now and forever,
but if you think you're stronger
without me, than I'll never

stand in your way,
make it a harder day
I'll just go somewhere and hide
dream of laying by your side
and I'll dream
of a better way
to make you stay.

You won't talk to me anymore.
These emotions build up inside of me -
I hurt to the core.
I know you think you're better not being beside me.
Some wounds never heal,
they just fester.
And if I told you I never want to kiss you
and that I'll never miss you
I wish you'd

stand in the way
make it a better day
so I don't have to run and hide
you'd lay down b y my side
and we'd dream
of a brighter day
where we both could stay.

I know that we'd be no good together.
Maybe we can't have a future ever.
But if I don't try
I'm afraid I'll cry forever.
And I'm afraid

You won't stand in the way
You'll scream for me to go away
After all we had together
you would push me away forever?
Maybe I can dream -
after I cry and scream -
of a better way
to stay together.

Some wounds you'll never learn from.
Some wounds you'll only burn from.
You want it? You got it -
my heart on my sleeve.
You want it? You got it -
but now I watch you leave.

I still can't give you up
even though you've closed the door on me -
my heart won't be locked up -
you still have the key.
I know we never would've worked out,
but we could've tried
instead you

stood in the way
begged me to go away
I had to run and hide
and now I lay and scream
trying to hide my heart that hangs on my sleeve.

Some wounds never heal
they just fester.
They never heal.
Never get better.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Ouch
Ouch
what I wouldn't give
to have you on the back of the couch
where you belong; to have you live
with me for a little more
as long as you
weren't sore.
I miss you.
There is a crater in my life
that you made when you left this plane
There's a light
you brought to my life
that I look for every night.
My back, feels as if a knife
has been stuck between my shoulder blades
since you've been gone.
I've had one good night of sleep, well, may-
be two since you've been gone.
The pain doesn't fade
it doesn't diminish.
I feel like this play
has had a sick finish.
Most days I fake it
- and almost believe - that I'm okay
but I can't shake it
- no real relief - I don't want you away.
You were so much a part of me
and now that you have departed from me
I feel I have to relearn life.
It's almost like having to learn to walk again,
to breathe again
to talk again
to be me again.
To be everything again without you, Linus.
Minus Linus
I am a sore excuse for a person.
Without you, I am a diet version.
I miss you, my best friend.
I don't think I could ever be prepared
for the end.
I never thought you could make me care
so much with how many defenses
I had built.
And now I don't know
if that part of me has been killed,
if I have anywhere else to grow
even after everything you've taught.
I want to make you proud of me
but right now that's a lot
to ask for
a task for
which I am not prepared.
I never thought I could have cared
this much for anyone again.
I truly miss you my dearest friend.

[LadyHitchhiker]

My Best Friend
I had a bad day and he was there;
he made it seem that I shouldn't care.
If I was struggling with my grief
he'd perch on my shoulder and never leave.
When I was cooking he would help, sit by the stove;
he never wanted me to make food alone.
And when I just felt like watching tv
he was there, viligantly beside me,
hoping we'd watch star trek - he liked to watch the stars stream.
And he always helped me when I had a bad dream.
He never held a single grudge.
He never acted like my judge.
He accepted me and loved me just the way I am
and that is why I am lost without him, my friend.
It was his employ
to live for my joy
and I lived for his.
I guess I never would have any way to be ready for this.

Salve
I wish I could translate
from my memory and my emotions
how much you meant to me each day
but it's muddled like the oceans
Every night I lay
with the hopeful notion
that I will wake up to find
that this was all a dream
I wouldn't mind
not waking up to scream
from the loss I still find
as tears stream
I find you still have left me
I live with guilt, an angry friend
a friend I can communicate
with but who screams to no end
I don't know how to relate
even to those whose ears they lend
Is there a deeper name
for pain?
A stronger adage
for rage?
Is there a way to employ
the joy
that you brought to me each day
that you still stayed?
Anything I have you can have.
Anything I can get I would give.
If I could find the salve
to let you live.

Morning Mouring
Mourning has broken me, like the first mourning
Eulogies spoken, like the first words
Pain in the singing, pain in the mourning
Pain in the stinging fresh from the world

Feel my new heart's fall, he sits in heaven
Like the first anvil, knocked off my ass
I miss his sweetness, I feel myself weaken
With him was completeness and now he has passed

Mine was the sunlight I am now mourning
Born with this one life, I miss his face
I miss his elation, pain every morning
Wish for inspiration, to get through each day.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Free Fallin
He's a good boy, loves his mama
Loves catnip and doing tricks too
He's a good boy crazy bout Star Trek
Loves the Beatles and Mandarin too

Its a long day living in Kingsford
There's no freeway around us at all
And I'm a bad girl cause I can't not miss him
I'm a bad girl for stopping his heart

And I'm free, free fallin
Yeah I'm free, free fallin

All the vets are workin in their clinics
And all of their hearts soon fill with shards
And all the bad boys visit in the shadows
All the good girls are home with broken hearts

And I'm free, free fallin
Yeah I'm free, free fallin
Free fallin, now I'm free fallin, now I'm
Free fallin, now I'm free fallin, now I'm

I wanna take his soul to Valhalla
I wanna write his name in the sky
Gonna free fall out into nothin
Wanna leave this world for a while

And I'm free, free fallin
Yeah I'm free, free fallin

[Jon]

OOooo

It was almost real in my head.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Any one in particular, Jon?

[LadyHitchhiker]

Hurt
I hurt again today
At least it's something to feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
With you I found I was whole
With you my familiar, I'd sing
Memories ebb and fade
But I will remember everything

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everywhere I see you
My dear friend
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I had to put you down
I am left with hurt

I'm left forlorn
upon the rolling chair
Full of broken shards
I cannot repair
mistakes in the strains of time
The feelings reappear
I am someone else
But I am still right here

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everywhere I go I see you
My dear friend
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I had to put you down
I am left with hurt.

If I could start again
A few light years away
I would keep you for myself
And take away your pain

[LadyHitchhiker]

Creep-Inspired Parody by me (8-24-10)
(sorry for the emo, the song helps me purge my grief)

When you were here before
Couldn't not look in your eyes
You're now my angel
Your fur makes me cry

It floats like a feather
In the beautiful world
Wish I had someone special
You're so fricking special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if I hurt
I want to have control
I want you with a perfect body
Since you have a perfect soul

I can't help but notice
That you're not around
You're so fricking special
Wish I had someone special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

He's running out again
He's running
He run, run, run, run
Run

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fricking special
wish I still had someone special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here

[Jon]

A lucky kitty.

[LadyHitchhiker]

I wrote this song to my major glee and giggling matter of laughing at myself and with myself with a little inspiration from John Blaze, as a mild exaggeration of my giving abilities to poke fun of me... but only mildly. Almost all of it's true, I think.

A parody of Denis Lear'ys song: Asshole

Giver
(Sung)
I'm just a regular Jane with two part-time jobs.
I'm your average not-completely-white slob.
I like reading and family and the Dark Tower.
I've got a leaky apartment with a peeling up floor.
My husband, my jobs, my cats and my car.
My feet on my table listening to Jimi's guitar.
But sometimes that just ain't enough
to keep someone like me interested
(oh no) no way (uh-uh)
No, I've gotta go out and give at my own expense
(oh yeah) Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
I drive the exact speed limit in the correct lane,
While people behind me are going insane.
I'm a giver (She's a giver, what a giver)
I'm a giver (She's a giver, what a giver)
I use public toilets and I clean up the seats,
I turn the fans on in the summertime to protect my cats from the heat
I'm a giver (She's a giver, what a giver)
Here you go here's my liver!
Sometimes I park in far away spaces,
To give other people the better parking spaces.
I'm a giver (She's a giver, what a giver)
Here you go here's my liver!
Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
Sharing and caring and getting along
Maybe they're right
when they tell me I'm wrong...
NAAAAH!
I'm a giver (She's a giver, what a giver)
Here you go here's my liver!
(Spoken)
Know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna drive my grey rusty 1989 Chevy Celebrity, giving people rides along the way, stopping at every red traffic light, yeah! And I'm gonna drive out of my way, going exactly the speed limit, and not ask for any gas money even if I'm only getting 1 mile per gallon, givin' out quarter pound cheeseburgers from McDonald's in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers... yeah! And when I'm done givin' out those greaseball burgers I'm gonna take those styrofoam containers and make crafts on the side, and you're gonna wonder how and why does she do it? Because I'm the bomb, that's right.. yeah! And there isn't a single thing anybody can do about it.
You know why? Because I am the bomb, that's why... yeah! Two words: giving forever, okay?
Russia, Czechoslovakia, Romania, they can have all the selfishness, they want...they can have a self-serving cakewalk right through the middle of Tienamen Square but it they want to make a single bit of difference, they got to be the bomb, okay?
And my loved ones that are dead, in my memories aren't frozen. They're living in my heart right now, and if they could see me right now, they'd be pretty proud of me. You know why? Even if they could only see me for an hour? Well multiply their love by 15 million times, that's how proud my family's going to be. And I'd see my dad, Kami Kazi, LeAnn, Linus, and a whole slew of others and I'd-
(Hey, hey, hey, hey, you know you really are a giver?)
Why don't you shut up and sing the song.
(Sung)
I'm a giver (She's a giver, what a giver)
Here you go here's my liver!
S-H-E is a G-I-V-E-R
S-H-E is a G-I-V-E-R
Everybody, S-H-E is a G-I-V-E-R
Ay Ay-Ay Ay-Ay Ay-Ay
A-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom
Oooooooo
(Spoken)
I'm a giver and I'm proud of it!

[LadyHitchhiker]

Dear, Grief

No, I can't waste one more breath on you
Cause all that's waiting after this is death
And don't you know I'm not your host, anymore;
You stole the loves I loved the most.
You try to steal all my life
And now you want me one more time.

And who do you think you are,
Running 'round taking tolls,
Collecting your jar of souls
And tearing up every heart?
You're gonna catch a cold
From the eyes inside your soul!
So don't come back for me!
Who do you think you are?

I know you're waiting around
Happy to reside with ones you've found;
But I have grown to long
For someone else's arms.
I've learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time?!

And who do you think you are
Running 'round taking tolls
Collecting your jar of souls
And tearing up every heart?!
You're gonna catch a cold
From the eyes inside your soul!
So don't come back for me;
Who do you think you are?!

Grief: it took so long just to feel alright,
Remember how to put back the life in my eyes;
I wish I had missed the first time I did list
All the times you broke your promises.
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back!!!!!

And who do you think you are
Running 'round taking tolls
Collecting your jar of souls
And tearing up every heart?!
You're gonna catch a cold
From the eyes inside your soul!
So don't come back for me!
Don't come back for me!
Don't come back at all!

Who do you think you are?
And who do you think you are
Running 'round taking tolls
Collecting your jar of souls
And tearing up every heart?!
You're gonna catch a cold!
From the eyes inside your soul!
So don't come back for me!
Who do you think you are?
Don't come back for me!
Don't come back at all!

Who do you think you are?

[LadyHitchhiker]

Parody I wrote of Nothing Compares to you by Sinead O'Connor:
Posted 12-08-2010 at 09:48 PM by Llamalady
It's been thirteen hours and 16 months
since you took your love away
I work all night and work all day
since I took your love away
since you've been gone I can cook whatever I want
I can leave the bones out if I choose
I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant
but nothing
keeps me from bringing scraps home for you

and nothing compares
nothing compares to you

It's been so lonely without you here
I fill up my time with writing songs
nothing can stop these telemarketers from calling
tell me baby where did I go wrong?
I could put my arms round every cat I see
but they'd only remind me of you
I went to the doctor guess what she told me
guess what she told me
she said girl you better get another one
no matter what you do
but she's a fool

'cause nothing compares
nothing compares to you

With the flowers you're now planted by mother-in-law
in the backyard
I died inside when you went away
I know that living with you, baby, was sometimes hard
but I'm willing to give it another try

nothing compares
nothing compares to you


In this parody, I pronounce his name Man-da-rin to rhyme better with the guitar... I usually pronounce his name Mandrin... Mandarin is probably the most neurotic cat I've ever had... and I love it!

Then My Mandarin Gently Sleeps
Posted 12-08-2010 at 09:43 PM
I look at my son and see that he's creeping
Then my Mandarin gently sleeps
I look at my son from the tv he is leaping
Then my Mandarin gently sleeps

I don't know why nobody told you
how to put away your laundry
In the basket with no soul? You
can't do it alone could you?

I look at my son and I notice he's turning
Still my Mandarin gently sleeps
The more sweet he is the sooner I know he'll be hurling
Then my Mandarin gently sleeps

I don't know how you were diverted
you were alerted too
I don't know how you were inverted
or walked across the hangers too

I look at my son and I see his eyes are weeping
While my Mandarin gently sleeps
I get a phone call
Still my Mandarin gently sleeps

Oh, oh, oh
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah

[Jon]

I LOVE this line!!

" I've learned to live half alive"