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  1. #26
    Weedeater BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE's Avatar

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    Staying with the songs for now.

    This one was written for my wife. There is a lot more guitar work on this song than lyrics, so its not much.

    Borrow, Beg or Steal

    A perfect gentleman I couldn't be. No.
    Cause every inch of you I had to see.
    Some say we might of gone too fast.
    But that don't even matter if our love can last.

    You had a man who used to treat you bad
    But time with him was just a passing fad.
    In all the world it seems there's just us two, and
    I know that you feel the same way I do.

    I need you baby borrow, beg or steal.
    My love for you, ya know I can't conceal.
    Hand in hand we never can go wrong. and
    Until the end,to you I always will belong.
    Sloth Love Chunk

  2. #27
    Weedeater BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE's Avatar

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    Graybeard



    The old man nods his hoary head,
    Lets blow his rimy breath.
    His whispered, incoherent words,
    Convey a frozen death.

    He blots the sun, and claims the earth,
    His sovereignty complete.
    No blade of grass escapes his reign.
    Each tree admits defeat.

    Upon the land, he spreads his cloak,
    An alabaster tomb.
    Interred beneath this arctic shroud,
    The sun may not exhume.

    But when the spring comes 'round again,
    The sun may grant reprieve.
    The wheel of life begins anew,
    As Winter takes his leave.
    Sloth Love Chunk

  3. #28
    Caution: eye irritant Jon has much to be proud of Jon has much to be proud of Jon has much to be proud of Jon has much to be proud of Jon has much to be proud of Jon has much to be proud of Jon has much to be proud of Jon has much to be proud of Jon has much to be proud of Jon's Avatar

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    Great imagery and image. Consider this for winter poetry contest.
    “Give me the sense to wonder, to wonder if I'm free."

  4. #29
    Weedeater BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE's Avatar

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    free verse is not my forte, but I don't want this to have a rhyming scheme or regular meter. The chaos and disorder of the poem is therefore intentional.

    The Last Goodbye

    Resplendent blue-green globe
    Twirling and hurling through darkness
    Unaware and uncaring
    Continuing its eternal circuit

    Heedless of my misery
    Birds chirp their incessant refrain
    Mocking my despair
    With every tweet and warble

    This bright and sunny sky
    It taunts me cheerfully
    Promising a better day
    Bitterly empty in reality

    Flowers flaunt their beauty
    Pretentiously poised around his tomb
    Sleek and shiny casket
    Imprisoning my friend.

    Needless, wasteful loss
    Must be some cosmic mistake
    To say one's last goodbye
    On this hateful, beautiful day
    Sloth Love Chunk

  5. #30
    Caution: eye irritant Jon has much to be proud of Jon has much to be proud of Jon has much to be proud of Jon has much to be proud of Jon has much to be proud of Jon has much to be proud of Jon has much to be proud of Jon has much to be proud of Jon has much to be proud of Jon's Avatar

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    Yes...the world goes on despite one's misery.

    Nice work, B.C!
    “Give me the sense to wonder, to wonder if I'm free."

  6. #31
    Weedeater BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE's Avatar

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    Thanks, I don't have the ability to look at this one objectively. It's just something I needed to say. I was really sick of hearing about how "Josh is in a good place" and "Josh is happy" and "Josh is smiling down on us". And, it really was a beautiful day when we buried him. I would have been happier if it had been raining.
    Sloth Love Chunk

  7. #32
    Caution: eye irritant Jon has much to be proud of Jon has much to be proud of Jon has much to be proud of Jon has much to be proud of Jon has much to be proud of Jon has much to be proud of Jon has much to be proud of Jon has much to be proud of Jon has much to be proud of Jon's Avatar

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    I know this feeling. I lost a father and am sick of hearing how proud he would be about...
    “Give me the sense to wonder, to wonder if I'm free."

  8. #33
    Weedeater BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE's Avatar

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    New song...for my friend who recently passed away.

    Silver Tongued Devil

    A busted string on a worn guitar
    A simple thing to replace
    But I don't feel like playin' and my thoughts are strayin'
    I just put it back in its case.

    Cause broken dreams are on my mind it seems,
    And all the songs left unsung.
    Our laughs we shared and our souls we bared,
    Back when we were all still so young.

    If its a race to the end, then your the winner,
    You silver tongued sinner, turned saint.
    You ran so fast, you nearly shook your past,
    But even so you wound up late.

    Now in the darkest sky, there is a glimmer,
    A star with a shimmer and shine.
    I'll meet you in the end, I'll see you then my friend,
    And we'll be singin' again sometime.

    A moment frozen in the camera's eye
    A happier time and place.
    Where the whiskey's flowin' with no signs of slowin'
    A smile stretched across your face.

    And all the memories stream up from the well of dreams,
    And all the songs that we've sung.
    Our time together, it'll last forever,
    Even after this life is done.

    If its a race to the end, then your the winner,
    You silver tongued sinner, turned saint.
    You ran so fast, you nearly shook your past,
    But even so you wound up late.

    Now in the darkest sky, there is a glimmer,
    A star with a shimmer and shine.
    I'll meet you in the end, I'll see you then my friend,
    And we'll be singing again sometime.

    I'll meet you in the end, I'll see you then my friend,
    And we'll be singing again sometime.
    Sloth Love Chunk

  9. #34
    shrewd and knavish sprite flaggwalkstheline will become famous soon enough flaggwalkstheline's Avatar

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    ooo thats intense, sorry bout ur friend though
    I could well imagine that turned into a song
    if the worlds gonna end then let's get it over with, i got shit to do

  10. #35
    Weedeater BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by flaggwalkstheline View Post
    ooo thats intense, sorry bout ur friend though
    I could well imagine that turned into a song
    Thanks, this song came surprisingly easy....after I got over the initial shock of it all.

    I think Josh was feeding me some words on this one.....he was the true lyricist (silver tongued devil)
    Sloth Love Chunk

  11. #36
    Caution: eye irritant Jon has much to be proud of Jon has much to be proud of Jon has much to be proud of Jon has much to be proud of Jon has much to be proud of Jon has much to be proud of Jon has much to be proud of Jon has much to be proud of Jon has much to be proud of Jon's Avatar

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    You ran so fast, you nearly shook your past,
    But even so you wound up late.


    A great line and, as a whole, a great tribute!
    “Give me the sense to wonder, to wonder if I'm free."

  12. #37
    Weedeater BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE's Avatar

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    Thanks Jon.
    Sloth Love Chunk

  13. #38
    The Tenant Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean's Avatar

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    oh Lord how bears loved it!!!

    Ask not what bears can do for you, but what you can do for bears. (razz)
    When one is in agreement with bears one is always correct. (mae)

    bears are back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  14. #39
    Weedeater BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE's Avatar

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    And your opinion matters so much dear bear.
    Sloth Love Chunk

  15. #40
    Weedeater BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE's Avatar

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    The Vigil

    This old house,
    Is full of creaks,
    Of groaning boards,
    That squeal and squeak.

    Is that a haunt,
    That roams the halls,
    Or something else,
    That creeps and crawls?

    I mustn't sleep,
    Or even blink.
    They'll come for sure,
    If I should wink.

    Outside my window,
    Lurks the beast.
    Upon my flesh,
    It yearns to feast.

    Another waits,
    Beneath my bed.
    If I should look,
    I'd lose my head.

    So I lie still,
    Eyes open wide.
    Until the morn,
    I must abide.

    I cannot move,
    Or make a peep,
    But above all,
    I mustn't sleep.
    Sloth Love Chunk

  16. #41
    Weedeater BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE's Avatar

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    Without Your Light

    Without your light,
    The soil of my soul would be barren.
    No seed of happiness could find purchase there.
    I would be an empty, wandering, shell of a man,
    With no purpose or direction.

    Your smile is my sustenance.
    It strengthens and nourishes every fiber of my being.
    Without it, I would shrivel and starve.

    My existence would be futile,
    My life, without purpose.
    Indifferent to direction,
    My compass could never again find true North,
    Without your light.
    Sloth Love Chunk

  17. #42
    The Tenant Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean's Avatar

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    bears liked The Vigil very, very much. The rhymes never repeat - did you do that on purpose, or it just happened? They sound like echoes of different squeals and creaks. Also, they are always full rhymes. Bears like.

    Ask not what bears can do for you, but what you can do for bears. (razz)
    When one is in agreement with bears one is always correct. (mae)

    bears are back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  18. #43
    Weedeater BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE's Avatar

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    I'm not sure I understand your question. The alliteration in the last two lines of each stanza is intentional.

    This old house,
    Is full of creaks,
    Of groaning boards,
    That squeal and squeak.

    Is that a haunt,
    That roams the halls,
    Or something else,
    That creeps and crawls?

    I mustn't sleep,
    Or even blink.
    They'll come for sure,
    If I should wink.

    Outside my window,
    Lurks the beast.
    Upon my flesh,
    It yearns to feast.

    Another waits,
    Beneath my bed.
    If I should look,
    I'd lose my head.

    So I lie still,
    Eyes open wide.
    Until the morn,
    I must abide.

    I cannot move,
    Or make a peep,
    But above all,
    I mustn't sleep.

    But I didn't intentionally do anything with the rhyming scheme other than the obvious. I'm glad you like it though. As always, your opinion is important to me.
    Sloth Love Chunk

  19. #44
    The Tenant Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean's Avatar

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    I only noticed the alliteration when I started reading it aloud, the better to memorize it. Great, as usual.

    Ask not what bears can do for you, but what you can do for bears. (razz)
    When one is in agreement with bears one is always correct. (mae)

    bears are back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  20. #45
    Citizen of Gilead RainInSpain is a glorious beacon of light RainInSpain is a glorious beacon of light RainInSpain is a glorious beacon of light RainInSpain is a glorious beacon of light RainInSpain is a glorious beacon of light RainInSpain's Avatar

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    Brownings Childe, I'm quite new here so not sure if my opinion matters - but I so liked The Vigil that I simply have to say that it's great. I like the metrical pattern that you used - it's a very good fit for the mood.
    Iron Maiden be my witness

    "...We'll go dancing in the dark
    Walking through the park
    And reminiscing..."

  21. #46
    Weedeater BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE is a jewel in the rough BROWNINGS CHILDE's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by RainInSpain View Post
    Brownings Childe, I'm quite new here so not sure if my opinion matters - but I so liked The Vigil that I simply have to say that it's great. I like the metrical pattern that you used - it's a very good fit for the mood.

    Thank you very much. Of coarse your opinion matters. I rather like the meter of this poem too. It rolls off the tongue nicely. Feel free to check out the rest of the thread, I am always looking for critiques and advice.
    Sloth Love Chunk

  22. #47
    The Tenant Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean's Avatar

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    RainInSpain: read more BROWNING'S, and read aloud. It's all very... er... tongue-friendly.

    Ask not what bears can do for you, but what you can do for bears. (razz)
    When one is in agreement with bears one is always correct. (mae)

    bears are back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  23. #48
    Roont Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jean View Post
    It's all very... er... tongue-friendly.
    That's what she said.
    The Awesomest fled across the desert and The Awesomer followed.

    If you rescue me
    I’ll be your friend forever


    I wish that I could write fiction, but that seems almost an impossibility. -howard phillips lovecraft (1915)



  24. #49
    The Tenant Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean has much to be proud of Jean's Avatar

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    ::with quiet dignity::

    No, bears are no native speakers. Bears are entitled to ambiguity once in a while. Once in a very short while.

    Ask not what bears can do for you, but what you can do for bears. (razz)
    When one is in agreement with bears one is always correct. (mae)

    bears are back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  25. #50
    Roont Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice's Avatar

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    Surely by now bears on this board are familiar with the type of (admittedly) childish joke I was making.
    The Awesomest fled across the desert and The Awesomer followed.

    If you rescue me
    I’ll be your friend forever


    I wish that I could write fiction, but that seems almost an impossibility. -howard phillips lovecraft (1915)



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