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Thread: Significant other's response to collecting?

  1. #51
    Millionth Post Club divemaster has much to be proud of divemaster has much to be proud of divemaster has much to be proud of divemaster has much to be proud of divemaster has much to be proud of divemaster has much to be proud of divemaster has much to be proud of divemaster has much to be proud of divemaster has much to be proud of divemaster's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rahfa View Post
    My feeling is never to buy books (or anything like this) on credit...if you pay ten cents on a credit card finance charge, I think that's too much. As long as it's "mad money" it should be fine.
    That's good advice. Of course buying online (even with PayPal), having a credit card is almost a must. I haven't carried a balance on my credit card (any credit card) from month-to-month, in, oh, 5 years or so. Buying on credit as a convenience does not necessarily = carrying a balance.

    Quote Originally Posted by patrick
    In thinking about the secret credit card: Won't that extension of credit, albeit paid responsibly, still show up on a person's credit report for years to come? Might it be revealed inadvertently when making a large joint purchase, such as an automobile or a house?
    I bought a house last year. And a new car last month. Both were financed and both were in both our names. The 50/50 marriage partnership. Y'all may think I'm a shit for my approach to my "mad money" spending (that's fine--I can handle it), but everything I've bought is in both our names. My wife is half owner of the house, the car, and everything else. And when I croak off she'll be the 100% owner of everything (including my book collections), plus investments, life insurance, etc.\

    As far as the credit reports go? She doesn't get into the details of financing. She's satisifed that I make the money, I handle taking care of financial dealings. She did pick out the car she wanted (she gets the new one and I take over the old one), and she was the driving force behind which house we bought. Most of the things like this, I'm just along for the ride. And to sign the papers of course. And that's pretty much fine with me. Most of the time, anyway.

  2. #52
    Owner Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg's Avatar

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    If I could, I'd like to nudge this thread direction to a "softer, gentler" discussion.
    I see no positive outcome if this becomes a contentious debate and/or a justification thread.
    Of course the members opinions are far more important than mine and will dictate where this goes.

  3. #53
    Other worlds Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick's Avatar

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    Thanks for answering my question, divemaster. I really was curious about your thoughts on that.

    As in your case, my wife is named on the house as well. I don't recall if we're named on each other's vehicles, but I suppose we should be. My books become her books by default if I go first.

  4. #54
    Banned The Lady of Shadows is on a distinguished road

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    my husband would probably come here, log in as me (he knows all my passwords and usernames to everything), tell you guys it was him and not me, let you know what happened and ask who wanted my books.








    yeah,

  5. #55
    Goldmember Mr. Rabbit Trick has a brilliant future Mr. Rabbit Trick has a brilliant future Mr. Rabbit Trick has a brilliant future Mr. Rabbit Trick has a brilliant future Mr. Rabbit Trick has a brilliant future Mr. Rabbit Trick has a brilliant future Mr. Rabbit Trick has a brilliant future Mr. Rabbit Trick has a brilliant future Mr. Rabbit Trick has a brilliant future Mr. Rabbit Trick has a brilliant future Mr. Rabbit Trick has a brilliant future

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    Quote Originally Posted by Patrick View Post
    My books become her books by default if I go first.
    And also by divorce!

  6. #56
    Banned The Lady of Shadows is on a distinguished road

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Rabbit Trick View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Patrick View Post
    My books become her books by default if I go first.
    And also by divorce!
    ouch. but only if she has a really good attorney. or he has a really bad one. or you live in a community property state i would think.

  7. #57
    Rabid Billybumbler Rahfa is a splendid one to behold Rahfa is a splendid one to behold Rahfa is a splendid one to behold Rahfa is a splendid one to behold Rahfa is a splendid one to behold Rahfa is a splendid one to behold Rahfa is a splendid one to behold Rahfa is a splendid one to behold

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    Actually, what would happen is you would have to come to an agreement on what the books are worth and then the collector would have to "buy" the other partner's half of the books.

    In a divorce, they are community property, just like a house. You can keep them, but you need to give the partner 50 percent of their agreed value. Just like a house, that's why most people in that situation end up selling and splitting the actual cash.

  8. #58
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    Rahfa is correct.

    Personally I have had certain opportunities to keep specific material assets separate, but that's not my style. I comingle everything.

  9. #59
    Owner Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg's Avatar

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    Newcomers and regulars, how have the responses from your SO been?

  10. #60
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    My wife doesn't understand it but as long as things don't get too crazy, she's OK with it. I collect records, buy insanse ammounts of comics/graphic novels and as of lately, books. Mortgage, daughter's education, bills, savings account always come first and after that, it's fair game.

    I don't really buy the "I don't ask about shoes/clothes so s/he doesn't ask about books" theory. If we're going into the S/L territorry and prices of $500 and up, does anyone's partner on here really buy $500 shoes? Or a $2000 dress? $6000 jewelery? If you're both buying expensive items, it's safe to assume you're both rather well off and who buys what and for what money doesn't even matter.

  11. #61
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    I am single. I have no plans to marry and don't really date, but anyone who ever married me would know up front what they were getting into. I mean really they wouldn't really be able to argue that they wouldn't have known when they come over and there are bookcases full of books they can't touch....or even look at too long. This would invalidate their every argument on the subject and if they tried to argue it anyway it would call all their arguments on any and all subjects into question.
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  12. #62
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    My wife's been cool so far. She hasn't asked me about the costs of the books, etc., and I think if she had a problem with it, she would say something to me. Of course, I haven't bought any books over $300 yet, so we'll see what happens at that point.

  13. #63
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    I guess I am really lucky. My girlfriend has been known to walk into my very small den and comment ... we really, really need more bookcases!
    The Man In Black Fled Across The Desert...

    ...And The Gunslinger Followed.

    “I’m always on the Batman rule, sir.” - Kate Kane / Detective Comics 857

    "It is the story, not he who tells it." Except to us collectors who have to put limits somewhere. - jhanic

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  14. #64
    Roont Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice's Avatar

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    Marry her the very second you can.
    The Awesomest fled across the desert and The Awesomer followed.

    If you rescue me
    I’ll be your friend forever


    I wish that I could write fiction, but that seems almost an impossibility. -howard phillips lovecraft (1915)



  15. #65
    Kate / Batwoman turtlex is on a distinguished road turtlex's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cthulhu View Post
    Marry her the very second you can.
    That's the plan.
    The Man In Black Fled Across The Desert...

    ...And The Gunslinger Followed.

    “I’m always on the Batman rule, sir.” - Kate Kane / Detective Comics 857

    "It is the story, not he who tells it." Except to us collectors who have to put limits somewhere. - jhanic

    Remember, Remember, The Fifth of November, The Gunpowder, Treason, and Plot.

  16. #66
    Goldmember Mr. Rabbit Trick has a brilliant future Mr. Rabbit Trick has a brilliant future Mr. Rabbit Trick has a brilliant future Mr. Rabbit Trick has a brilliant future Mr. Rabbit Trick has a brilliant future Mr. Rabbit Trick has a brilliant future Mr. Rabbit Trick has a brilliant future Mr. Rabbit Trick has a brilliant future Mr. Rabbit Trick has a brilliant future Mr. Rabbit Trick has a brilliant future Mr. Rabbit Trick has a brilliant future

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    Quote Originally Posted by turtlex View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Cthulhu View Post
    Marry her the very second you can.
    That's the plan.
    You could always get some bookcases as a wedding gift

  17. #67
    Roont Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice has much to be proud of Brice's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Rabbit Trick View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by turtlex View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Cthulhu View Post
    Marry her the very second you can.
    That's the plan.
    You could always get some bookcases as a wedding gift
    The Awesomest fled across the desert and The Awesomer followed.

    If you rescue me
    I’ll be your friend forever


    I wish that I could write fiction, but that seems almost an impossibility. -howard phillips lovecraft (1915)



  18. #68
    Roont Daghain is on a distinguished road Daghain's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Rabbit Trick View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by turtlex View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Cthulhu View Post
    Marry her the very second you can.
    That's the plan.
    You could always get some bookcases as a wedding gift
    I like the way you think.



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  19. #69
    Owner Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg is loved more than Jesus Randall Flagg's Avatar

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    I think my wife wishes that I collected money instead of books.

  20. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by Randall Flagg View Post
    I think my wife wishes that I collected money instead of books.
    Very funny! My wife tolerates my collecting however I get the evil eye everytime a new book shows up at the door.

  21. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ben Staad View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Randall Flagg View Post
    I think my wife wishes that I collected money instead of books.
    Very funny! My wife tolerates my collecting however I get the evil eye everytime a new book shows up at the door.
    Get a PO Box...or a new wife

  22. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Rabbit Trick View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Ben Staad View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Randall Flagg View Post
    I think my wife wishes that I collected money instead of books.
    Very funny! My wife tolerates my collecting however I get the evil eye everytime a new book shows up at the door.
    Get a PO Box...or a new wife
    In my dreams! The PO Box would be allright however I think she inventories my bookshelves every few weeks...

  23. #73
    Fundraiser Emeritus Merlin1958 is loved more than Jesus Merlin1958 is loved more than Jesus Merlin1958 is loved more than Jesus Merlin1958 is loved more than Jesus Merlin1958 is loved more than Jesus Merlin1958 is loved more than Jesus Merlin1958 is loved more than Jesus Merlin1958 is loved more than Jesus Merlin1958 is loved more than Jesus Merlin1958 is loved more than Jesus Merlin1958 is loved more than Jesus Merlin1958's Avatar

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    My wife doesn't seem to mind much though, she has put a firm limit to 2 Barrister Bookcases and the flat headboard of our bed. It's getting dice-y!!! LOL If you've looked in my collection thread she also tolerates my outrageous R&R Art. I did placate her a bit with a "Sue Grafton 1/1 Collection" by way of a shared endeavor. She does however, LOVE Dolso's cases almost as much as I do, so that's a plus. She also thinks his wife is a wonderful woman, so that can't hurt!! LOL

    All in all, I guess I'm in pretty good shape over here. Spouse-wise that is.

    Oh I also had to move the collection to my "office" which was also a better location for me in the end.
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  24. #74
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    For me it's best described as "walking on egg shells" as she groans everytime a book is delivered. She just doesn't get it! And I don't mean just the expesive stuff either. I just got two books from Amazon.com for a combined total of $25 and she gave me the look! It's a good think I love her! :-)

    I don't belive she ever "takes inventory" on the bookshelves, but she has noticed that my collection is spreading out to various places in the house! Currently I have King "stuff" in the Bed room, the Living Room, the Family Room, The Rec Room and even in my Workshop. I think I also have a box of cassettes out in the garage! :-)

    Someday I will have a room of my own - call it a den or library or study or just Dad's room and I will put all of my colleciton there! Someday (in a galaxay far far away I suppose)!
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  25. #75
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    She's cool with it. She also doesn't touch the books without asking. That wasn't my idea either. We're running out of room though and she'd like more space for her stuff on shelves.

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