Donate To Keep The Site Ad Free
+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 8 FirstFirst 1 2 3 4 ... LastLast
Results 26 to 50 of 176

Thread: Significant other's response to collecting?

  1. #26
    She gave me a pen. Ves'Ka Gan is on a distinguished road Ves'Ka Gan's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Joshua Tree, CA
    Posts
    2,165
    My Mood
    Sneaky
    Country
    Country Flag
    Gender
    Gender

    Default

    My beau mostly gets it--and he has a good time rifling through the shelves at used bookstores looking for that diamond in the rough. He also (mostly) understands the need for different editions of the same book, and actually got me a signed SK for Christmas.
    YOU MUST CHILL. I HAVE HIDDEN YOUR KEYS.

  2. #27
    Kate / Batwoman turtlex is on a distinguished road turtlex's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Along The Path Of The Beam
    Posts
    16,075
    My Mood
    Gay

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ves'Ka Gan View Post
    My beau mostly gets it--and he has a good time rifling through the shelves at used bookstores looking for that diamond in the rough. He also (mostly) understands the need for different editions of the same book, and actually got me a signed SK for Christmas.
    I'm lucky like this too... it's that they know it makes us happy, so they participate.
    The Man In Black Fled Across The Desert...

    ...And The Gunslinger Followed.

    “I’m always on the Batman rule, sir.” - Kate Kane / Detective Comics 857

    "It is the story, not he who tells it." Except to us collectors who have to put limits somewhere. - jhanic

    Remember, Remember, The Fifth of November, The Gunpowder, Treason, and Plot.

  3. #28
    She gave me a pen. Ves'Ka Gan is on a distinguished road Ves'Ka Gan's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Joshua Tree, CA
    Posts
    2,165
    My Mood
    Sneaky
    Country
    Country Flag
    Gender
    Gender

    Default

    Yes, and my beau is a born bargain hunter, so stopping at every bookstore in a town to dig through the shelves for a first edition I don't have makes him happy, too! We found a first/first of EOTD in pristine condition at a local used bookstore for a mere five dollars--you would have thought HE was the collector!
    YOU MUST CHILL. I HAVE HIDDEN YOUR KEYS.

  4. #29
    Citizen of Gilead pixiedark76 will become famous soon enough pixiedark76 will become famous soon enough pixiedark76's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Pittburgh PA
    Posts
    722
    My Mood
    Bored
    Country
    Country Flag
    Gender
    Gender

    Default Collecting bug

    My husband gets very mad at me when I buy books. He calls my collecting habit an "obsession" This makes me so upset!
    Although he does sometimes have a right to get angry with me. I have been known to spend way to much money on books. I recently got a lot of books from Donald M. Grant Publishing. I spent so much money that I made the checking account go into a negative balance! My husband hit the roof when he found out how much I had spent. He could not understand why I bought a $78.00 book when I could go to a book store and buy the same book for $25.00!
    This happened almost 3 weeks ago and he is still bitching at me about it! He is laying a freaking guilt trip on me! He says that I am sending us into the poorhouse and taking food out of our childrens mouths! He says that I don't feel guilty about how much I spend. He says that I don't care that he gets upset with me about buying books. Well you know what, I don't give a shit if he gets upset!
    I have a right to my hobby ("obsession") and nothing he says will stop me!

  5. #30
    Roont jhanic has a brilliant future jhanic has a brilliant future jhanic has a brilliant future jhanic has a brilliant future jhanic has a brilliant future jhanic has a brilliant future jhanic has a brilliant future jhanic has a brilliant future jhanic has a brilliant future jhanic has a brilliant future jhanic has a brilliant future jhanic's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Cleveland, Ohio
    Posts
    15,760
    My Mood
    Tired
    Country
    Country Flag

    Default

    Pixie, a good argument about buying Grant books is to just compare the original sales price of one of their Stephen King books and the current value. We'll except the first edition Gunslinger (original price was $20, now if you can find a copy for less than $500 you're doing great!), and use the signed limited Dark Tower VII. Original price was about $225. If you can find one for less than $600, great! Would he object to a 300% increase in value? There are a lot of other examples, too.

    John

  6. #31
    Gunslinger Apprentice inertia1215 is on a distinguished road inertia1215's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    90
    Country
    Country Flag
    Gender
    Gender

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jhanic View Post
    Pixie, a good argument about buying Grant books is to just compare the original sales price of one of their Stephen King books and the current value. We'll except the first edition Gunslinger (original price was $20, now if you can find a copy for less than $500 you're doing great!), and use the signed limited Dark Tower VII. Original price was about $225. If you can find one for less than $600, great! Would he object to a 300% increase in value? There are a lot of other examples, too.

    John
    This is the argument I use quite often, telling my fiance that I am looking at the books as an investment. She listens enough to my babbling to know that there is a great market out there for books, but shes too smart and knows that me selling my books is like losing a limb, so the argument only holds up for so long!
    In a book,in a box,high upon a shelf
    In a locked a guarded vault
    Are things I keep only for myself
    Its your fate,but its not your fault



  7. #32
    Life is beautiful LadyHitchhiker has a spectacular aura about LadyHitchhiker has a spectacular aura about LadyHitchhiker's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Kingsford, Michigan, United States
    Posts
    6,602
    My Mood
    Worried
    Gender
    Gender

    Default

    "MORE BOOKS?!?!?!"

  8. #33
    Citizen of Gilead pixiedark76 will become famous soon enough pixiedark76 will become famous soon enough pixiedark76's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Pittburgh PA
    Posts
    722
    My Mood
    Bored
    Country
    Country Flag
    Gender
    Gender

    Default

    Yesterday the shit hit the fan when delivered books and book covers. My husband got really pissed and he flipped out on me! He said that "All I care about are those dam books, You don't care about me or the kids!" Then he walked out and did not come back for two hours! I was so shocked and upset!

    He then came back and said that I will have to return any package that gets delivered! I have no idea what to do! He does not care that I enjoy books and book collecting. Yes I do have a tendency to overspend a little bit, but who doesn't? I just wish my husband could understand and respect my hobby.

  9. #34
    S P I R A L Ricky has a brilliant future Ricky has a brilliant future Ricky has a brilliant future Ricky has a brilliant future Ricky has a brilliant future Ricky has a brilliant future Ricky has a brilliant future Ricky has a brilliant future Ricky has a brilliant future Ricky has a brilliant future Ricky has a brilliant future Ricky's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    11,872
    Country
    Country Flag
    Gender
    Gender

    Default

    There's only one thing that I don't understand about some collectors. Someone feel free to enlighten me.

    Why in the world do some people pay hundreds of dollars for a book and not take the darn shrinkwrap off? If I pay that much for a book, I'm going to look at it!
    A NEW GAME BEGINS

  10. #35
    Gunslinger herbertwest has a reputation beyond repute herbertwest has a reputation beyond repute herbertwest has a reputation beyond repute herbertwest has a reputation beyond repute herbertwest has a reputation beyond repute herbertwest has a reputation beyond repute herbertwest has a reputation beyond repute herbertwest has a reputation beyond repute herbertwest has a reputation beyond repute herbertwest has a reputation beyond repute herbertwest has a reputation beyond repute herbertwest's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Paris, France
    Posts
    12,923
    Country
    Country Flag
    Gender
    Gender

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by pixiedark76 View Post
    Yesterday the shit hit the fan when delivered books and book covers. My husband got really pissed and he flipped out on me! He said that "All I care about are those dam books, You don't care about me or the kids!" Then he walked out and did not come back for two hours! I was so shocked and upset!

    He then came back and said that I will have to return any package that gets delivered! I have no idea what to do! He does not care that I enjoy books and book collecting. Yes I do have a tendency to overspend a little bit, but who doesn't? I just wish my husband could understand and respect my hobby.
    Ask him if he'd prefer you to buy lots of clothes and shoes instead? And have a giant wardrobe full of shoes?

    (Only if you dont do books & shoes ^^ )
    ------------------------------------------------
    CLUB STEPHEN KING (french website about STEPHEN KING, since 1992) : on : Facebook | Twitter | Instagram
    ------------------------------------------------

  11. #36
    Roont jhanic has a brilliant future jhanic has a brilliant future jhanic has a brilliant future jhanic has a brilliant future jhanic has a brilliant future jhanic has a brilliant future jhanic has a brilliant future jhanic has a brilliant future jhanic has a brilliant future jhanic has a brilliant future jhanic has a brilliant future jhanic's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Cleveland, Ohio
    Posts
    15,760
    My Mood
    Tired
    Country
    Country Flag

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by pixiedark76 View Post
    Yesterday the shit hit the fan when delivered books and book covers. My husband got really pissed and he flipped out on me! He said that "All I care about are those dam books, You don't care about me or the kids!" Then he walked out and did not come back for two hours! I was so shocked and upset!

    He then came back and said that I will have to return any package that gets delivered! I have no idea what to do! He does not care that I enjoy books and book collecting. Yes I do have a tendency to overspend a little bit, but who doesn't? I just wish my husband could understand and respect my hobby.
    Pixie, My condolences on your husband's behavior. I'm not a marriage counselor, but I think this had better be worked out. I'm sure you're both miserable. Why not try sitting down calmly and talk?

    John

  12. #37
    Roont Matt will become famous soon enough Matt will become famous soon enough Matt's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Parachute, Colorado
    Posts
    17,620
    My Mood
    Psychedelic
    Country
    Country Flag
    Gender
    Gender

    Default

    I'm so sorry you are in that situation pixie, I can't imagine what I would do if Dora didn't support my hobby...and that doesn't include the money and time I spend on this site.
    The kindness of close friends is like a warm blanket

  13. #38
    Other worlds Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Northern California
    Posts
    14,732
    My Mood
    Yeehaw
    Country
    Country Flag
    Gender
    Gender

    Default

    Hi pixie, I agree with John's advice about finding a time to sit down and discuss the subject calmly.

    One thing I've learned is to try to spread out the buying. Too many shipments too close together can start to bother my wife.

    Good luck to you both!

  14. #39
    Gunslinger Apprentice Earth's Militant Mind is on a distinguished road Earth's Militant Mind's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Fayetteville, NC
    Posts
    161
    Country
    Country Flag
    Gender
    Gender

    Default

    My books and stuff are important to me and I take great pride in them but in the long run if I don't have some one to share it with then what good is it? In the end we must decide what is important to us there must be balance in every thing. I'm not telling you to quit just asking is it worth it? Some times answer and desire differ.........

  15. #40
    Gunslinger Apprentice Earth's Militant Mind is on a distinguished road Earth's Militant Mind's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Fayetteville, NC
    Posts
    161
    Country
    Country Flag
    Gender
    Gender

    Default

    some times they don't

  16. #41
    Wizard of End-World wizardsrainbow has a brilliant future wizardsrainbow has a brilliant future wizardsrainbow has a brilliant future wizardsrainbow has a brilliant future wizardsrainbow has a brilliant future wizardsrainbow has a brilliant future wizardsrainbow has a brilliant future wizardsrainbow has a brilliant future wizardsrainbow has a brilliant future wizardsrainbow has a brilliant future wizardsrainbow has a brilliant future wizardsrainbow's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Fairfield CT
    Posts
    5,096
    My Mood
    Busy
    Country
    Country Flag
    Gender
    Gender

    Default

    Talking it out worked in my case. I had a rough patch for awhile too. She still doesn't "understand" the collecting mentality, but now she supports me because it makes me happy. My compromise is that my collection stays pretty "neutral" meaning that I sell off some books to acquire new ones. But I admit, with a collection of the size of mine, this is rather easier to do than someone with a more modest collection.

    Dragline : Nothin'. A handful of nothin'. You stupid mullet head. He beat you with nothin'. Just like today when he kept comin' back at me - with nothin'.
    Luke : Yeah, well, sometimes nothin' can be a real cool hand
    .



  17. #42
    Roont Matt will become famous soon enough Matt will become famous soon enough Matt's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Parachute, Colorado
    Posts
    17,620
    My Mood
    Psychedelic
    Country
    Country Flag
    Gender
    Gender

    Default

    My Dora has the same deal with me on cloths. She can have new ones if she rotates out the old ones.
    The kindness of close friends is like a warm blanket

  18. #43
    Millionth Post Club divemaster has much to be proud of divemaster has much to be proud of divemaster has much to be proud of divemaster has much to be proud of divemaster has much to be proud of divemaster has much to be proud of divemaster has much to be proud of divemaster has much to be proud of divemaster has much to be proud of divemaster's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Gainesville, VA
    Posts
    4,288
    Country
    Country Flag
    Gender
    Gender

    Default

    My wife knows about my 2 book collections (Stephen King and Arkham House). Hard to miss as they take up a lot of shelf space. She doesn't mind me having collected, but she doesn't really like the idea of me actively collecting. Mainly for budget reasons. I just bought an obscenely big house and a new car, and, well, money is tight.

    She likes it when I tell her "hey, if worst comes to worst, I've got XX$ grand worth of books." That gets her all juicy. I don't tell her which ones are the "good ones" though. Wouldn't want her grabbing the good stuff if well, worst really did come to worst.

    But if I buy new books she wonders where the money comes from and how come she can't spend that same money and anyway she knows I'm not planning on selling so what difference does it make how much the book is or will be worth. She's got a point; can't really argue with that.

    My solution? I have a PO Box she does not know about, and a credit card tied to the PO Box address so I buy and pick them up on the sly. I keep the finances, so I'm usually able to launder the $$ in such a way that she can't track it. This last month is proving to be difficult, as I've spent almost $3,000. Yikes.

  19. #44
    Banned sarajean is on a distinguished road

    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    8,028

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by divemaster View Post
    My solution? I have a PO Box she does not know about, and a credit card tied to the PO Box address so I buy and pick them up on the sly. I keep the finances, so I'm usually able to launder the $$ in such a way that she can't track it. This last month is proving to be difficult, as I've spent almost $3,000. Yikes.
    really? i'm trying very hard not to find this offensive.

  20. #45
    Wizard of End-World wizardsrainbow has a brilliant future wizardsrainbow has a brilliant future wizardsrainbow has a brilliant future wizardsrainbow has a brilliant future wizardsrainbow has a brilliant future wizardsrainbow has a brilliant future wizardsrainbow has a brilliant future wizardsrainbow has a brilliant future wizardsrainbow has a brilliant future wizardsrainbow has a brilliant future wizardsrainbow has a brilliant future wizardsrainbow's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Fairfield CT
    Posts
    5,096
    My Mood
    Busy
    Country
    Country Flag
    Gender
    Gender

    Default

    divemaster, I'd say you may be on a slippery slope there.

    Dragline : Nothin'. A handful of nothin'. You stupid mullet head. He beat you with nothin'. Just like today when he kept comin' back at me - with nothin'.
    Luke : Yeah, well, sometimes nothin' can be a real cool hand
    .



  21. #46
    Millionth Post Club divemaster has much to be proud of divemaster has much to be proud of divemaster has much to be proud of divemaster has much to be proud of divemaster has much to be proud of divemaster has much to be proud of divemaster has much to be proud of divemaster has much to be proud of divemaster has much to be proud of divemaster's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Gainesville, VA
    Posts
    4,288
    Country
    Country Flag
    Gender
    Gender

    Default

    Whatever. The question was asked and I answered it. That's my situation. I make the money for the household. My wife does not work. She "goes shopping." Every week there's a new piece of furniture, or a new mirror or new painting or new stuff for the kitchen. I don't give her much grief for that.

    The thing is, she doesn't consider her shopping purchases for herself. They are "for the house" so they don't count in her mind. Me purchasing books are "for me only" so in her mind it's not equitable. In my mind it is b/c I have little to no interest in new household items. We've got plenty of stuff already. In the end, she gets what she wants (for the house, anyway); I get what I want for my bookshelf and I don't have to catch a hard time from her.

    If she had a job and was making money and I was taking that on the sly, THAT would be uncalled for. But that's not the case.

  22. #47
    Roont Matt will become famous soon enough Matt will become famous soon enough Matt's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Parachute, Colorado
    Posts
    17,620
    My Mood
    Psychedelic
    Country
    Country Flag
    Gender
    Gender

    Default

    You are totally right. You answered honestly and if that's how it's been done, well there we are.

    I think you made some valid points about everyone in the household having money to buy things they consider "important"...if your wife buys house stuff for pleasure as opposed to necessity then I would consider that on the same level as book purchases.

    If it were me, instead of the bank account I would try and have an honest conversation with her about it and try to find some kind of middle ground. But that is just me answering from my perspective.
    The kindness of close friends is like a warm blanket

  23. #48
    Maerlyn's Imp tippy4 has a reputation beyond repute tippy4 has a reputation beyond repute tippy4 has a reputation beyond repute tippy4 has a reputation beyond repute tippy4 has a reputation beyond repute tippy4 has a reputation beyond repute tippy4 has a reputation beyond repute tippy4 has a reputation beyond repute tippy4 has a reputation beyond repute tippy4 has a reputation beyond repute tippy4 has a reputation beyond repute tippy4's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    5,002
    My Mood
    Hot
    Country
    Country Flag

    Default

    Divemaster, not telling your wife about every book you buy is one thing, but having a secret PO Box and credit card is another. Regardles of who works and who doesn't, marriage is a 50/50 partnership.

    Regarding Pixie's situation, obviously we do not have all the story. Playing devil's advocate here, for all we know her spending is exceding her earning, and the financial strain is concerning her husband. Perhaps she spends all of her her free time reading and buying books, and her husband feels neglected.

    Regardless, marriage is about about compromise, as as suggeseted above, they need to sit down and talk it over.

    Also, I don't buy the "Ask him if he'd prefer you to buy lots of clothes and shoes instead? And have a giant wardrobe full of shoes?" response (sorry herbertwest) because that implys there HAS to be a problem, and that the book solution is the lesser of two evils.

    With me, I just say look, it is a hobby I enjoy, and I don't spend more than I can afford. Like Wiz mentioned above, I too once had a rough patch. I was "between jobs" and I was buying books and my wife got pissed off (and rightly so). For one, I was spending time buying books instead of getting a new job, and two, I was spending money and not earning any. I was wrong and she was right.
    FOR SALE OR TRADE

    Dark Tower 7 Artist Edition n/a
    The Waste Lands 1st Edition in Shrinkwrap $200
    1984 Grant Gift Edition of The Talisman $400
    Lisey's Story ARC $50
    .
    .

    WANTED
    Signed 1st Edition of Storm of The Century (Paperback)

  24. #49
    Other worlds Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick has a reputation beyond repute Patrick's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Northern California
    Posts
    14,732
    My Mood
    Yeehaw
    Country
    Country Flag
    Gender
    Gender

    Default

    My book buying ebbs and flows with our financial position as well. At times when I get "out of sych" (i.e. overzealous), I hear about it. We have also had discussions in which she has justified certain of her own purchases as being "for us (the family, the house, etc.)" and to which I have pointed out that, no, actually they are not.

    In thinking about the secret credit card: Won't that extension of credit, albeit paid responsibly, still show up on a person's credit report for years to come? Might it be revealed inadvertently when making a large joint purchase, such as an automobile or a house?

    Anyway, for me personally, I'd rather have it out in the open and have the discussion, or take the heat, on a situational basis as needed.

  25. #50
    Rabid Billybumbler Rahfa is a splendid one to behold Rahfa is a splendid one to behold Rahfa is a splendid one to behold Rahfa is a splendid one to behold Rahfa is a splendid one to behold Rahfa is a splendid one to behold Rahfa is a splendid one to behold Rahfa is a splendid one to behold

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    2,534

    Default

    My feeling is never to buy books (or anything like this) on credit...if you pay ten cents on a credit card finance charge, I think that's too much. As long as it's "mad money" it should be fine.

+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 8 FirstFirst 1 2 3 4 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts