Originally Posted by
wizardsrainbow
Well, my oldest boy turned 16 yesterday! In addition to the regular birthday stuff we do (each family member writes a letter to the bithday person), my wife and I wanted to honor him in a special way, as 16 is a pivotal year. Without his knowledge she solicited written birthday letters/wishes/observations from all of our extended family members, his best friends and members of our "community" and mounted each on a separate page in a scrapbook. It was fantastic and very moving.
My part as the dad was to create something that acknowledges his steps toward manhood. I wanted to share it here with you all (I left out some specific names, but it doesn't diminish the idea). Here is what I said:
"Now at 16 years of age, you stand on the threshold of being a man. Over the centuries, different cultures have performed various rite of passeage ceremonies on young men as they came of age.
I have drawn on my own heritage and past experiences to create a brief ritual to welcome you to early manhood on this significant day, your 16th birthday.
My maternal grandfather years ago researched the family name and symbols. One symbol that stood out was 4 crows on the family crest/coat of arms. When I was 18 years old and at Drake University, he brought together my generation's 4 crows for an Iowa State football weekend. Those 4 crows were myself, my brother and my only two male cousins. Now that I have 3 children, a new generation of the 4 crows has come into being: me, you and your brother and sister.
As you move forward into adulthood, I would tell you that life needs and requires men of different temperaments, talents and convictions. One of the principle foundations of the fraternity which I joined in college and that I have embraced and carried with me my entire life as an adult I now share with you. One should always strive to be:
A man of good character
A student of fair ability
With ambitious purposes
A congenial disposition
Possessed of good morals
Having a high sense of honor, and
A deep sense of personal responsibility
As a man, you can maintain your own beliefs and still fit into this world without surrendering the principle of individuality or sacrificing one's personal judgement. With that, I want to share a poem with you that has had a significant impact in my life: <At this point I have him pick up a mirror and look at himself>
The Man in the Glass
When you get what you want, in your struggle for self,
and the world makes you king for a day,
just go to a mirror and look at yourself
and see what that man has to say.
Although there are others in life's pathway
upon whose judgement you must pass,
the fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
is the man staring back from the glass.
You may win all the medals and snow all the rest
and think you're a wonderful guy,
but the man in the glass says you're only a fraud
if you can't look him straight in the eye.
He's the one to please, after all's said and done,
for he's with you clear up to the end.
And you've passed a most dangerous, difficult test
if the man in the glass is your friend.
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
and get pats on the back as you pass,
but your final reward will be heartaches and tears
if you've cheated the man in the glass.
So, congratulations on turning 16 and as you move foward into life, move with Purpose, Strength and Character.
I love you always,
Dad