this is a dream i had a few years ago. it was the most amazing dream i ever had. i knew i had to write it down, but i'm not a writer, so it took me a long time. i know it is probably not up to par with most of the other posts, but i just had to share it. i hope the feelings i felt come through. anyway here it is.
slowly you open your eyes and realize you are really here. on this god forsaken ship with these god forsaken people. the person next to you coughs in your face so you turn away as far as the chains and shackles will allow. although there have been several drops over the last few days, the deck is still lined with people who are either sick or in various stages of shock.
you very well may be in shock as well, but if so it has clarified things for you. you are able to look around with a sense of detachment at this hell you have ended up in.the ship is huge and old. the wood at your side smells of salt and the floor is covered in a film of blood, sweat, urine, and god knows what else. you can hear the cries of seagulls overhead, waiting for their next meal. they shouldn't have to wait long.
underneath the sound of the gulls is a low moaning. if you listen closely you realize it is actually a collective moan of the poor souls that surround you. their lack of hope is evident in their volume. screaming is useless.they are going to die and they know it. you are one of them.
as the ship gently rocks you see them coming. the monsters. these are the ones who will put an end to all of this. they are not human, so to you they are just monsters. they do their job well, but they do it slowly, as if they know that speed would be a blessing. they will take you just as slowly if you thrash and scream. the only thing left to pray for is to be chosen for the next drop. and, please god if you still exist, let you be on the bottom row. let the hateful gulls peck on someone else's eyes.
you begin the mantra, please take me, please take me, please...
and then you look across from you and see a boy. a ragged, dirty little boy of about five. he's not the only child on the ship, nor is he the youngest, but for some reason he stands out to you. then it dawns on you, he's not crieing. he's just standing there in the midst of all the horror and fear with his eyes wide open. but he's not there, not really. this childs' mind is gone. he is nothing more than a shell waiting to die. his soul is already gone or dead. your mouth runs dry and your heart aches at the sight of his vacant eyes. so you begin with the prayer, but for him. please, oh please, let it be over for him. i can wait, if i must.
as the monster come towards you they begin taking people, and at least they reach the boy. there really must be a god up there somewhere because they do take the boy. of course they pass you by but it's ok. at least the boy, the empty little boy, can be free of all of this. his hollow brain will allow him to feel no pain and his soul can finally be free of its shell. this gives you a small piece of comfort. and in this level of hell you take what you can get.
you watch as they unchain his hands and feet to take him away to the traps. these traps are large sections of chainlink fence with more shackles and chains. people are chained to the fence by laying down. there are four rows of people, one row over the other. once everyone is secured a large crane lift the trap and hangs it over the side of the ship. now the chained people are upright and hanging from their wrists.
the boy is put on the top row. that's okay, he doesn't know what is going on. he will not suffer. the others on the trap cry and beg, scream and sob. everyone dies in their own way.the boy is still silent.
the trap is moved out over the water and slowly begins to lower. nearly all of the monsters have gathered to watch.
you never take your eyes off of the boy, wanting to bear witness. it seems horribly wrong for him to die without anyone to grieve for him. the first row of people is now under water, shouldn't be much longer before the boy is gone. and then he looks at you. his eyes stare into yours and you see that he's there. he's there and he will feel this death. he's there and he knows what is happening. he's there and there's nothing you can do.
you begin to shake as you see that the water is nearly at the boys feet. his eyes never leave yours, as though he knows how you prayed for him. through your tears you watch as the water rises, now at his dirty and scabbed knees. his eyes hold you and you know that you have to watch. your heart wants to turn away, but your soul knows better. his eyes are killing you with their awareness, but you couldn't look away if you tried.
he still doesnt' cry, or scream, or even seem to be afraid. the water reaches his chest and now you have to fight to breath through the sobs that wrack your body.
even as you scream at the unfairness and cruelty of a god who would allow him to wake up at this moment of all moments his eyes never leave yours. as the water laps at his chin, a single tear falls from his eye and his beautiful face breaks your heart as he smiles at you. he's there and you have to see. you have to see that in this boy, this child, is hope.