Elvis is not dead, he just went home.
Billionaire playboys eat at Burger King.
Mob banks don't hire security guards.
If a woman asks you if you're a God, you say YES!
1001 things I've learned from watching movies
Elvis is not dead, he just went home.
Billionaire playboys eat at Burger King.
Mob banks don't hire security guards.
If a woman asks you if you're a God, you say YES!
Bad guys have shitty aim.
Little kids are creepy.
All average or ugly women have a hot babe inside them just waiting for a haircut, a change of clothes, and some contacts.
NEVER say, things "can't get worse," or something similar....NEVER!
Donna
"What can I tell you, baby? I've always been bad."--Spike
Restaurants in Holland put mayonnaise in their fries instead of ketchup.
Tipping automatically is 'for the birds'.
In case of reanimation of the deceased
you can destroy them by aiming for the head
with a gun, crossbow, big stick, frying pan
or whatever else is on hand.
You can never be sure if someone's really dead
so always shoot them one more time
when they're down.
A vampire can't come into your house
unless you invite them first.
There are other worlds than these.
"You brought your bitch to the Waffle Hut?"
"(859): You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat."
~ texts from last night
Medieval peasants always have perfect teeth.
If a cop is near retirement, he will be killed, or at least maimed.
Running women always fall down. If a man is with her, he'll pick her up. If she's alone, she'l just crawl and say, "Oh, god," over and over.
Cheerleaders always wear their uniforms to school.
In space, no one can hear you scream.
"What can I tell you, baby? I've always been bad."--Spike
don't trust robots (especially if ur in a spaceship with them) because they'll probably try to "protect" you.
kung fu is awsome and so are pandas
slow-time only happens in the matrix, believe me I've tried
Never go camping on or near Halloween, with six hot girlfriends.
The Man In Black Fled Across The Desert...
...And The Gunslinger Followed.
“I’m always on the Batman rule, sir.” - Kate Kane / Detective Comics 857
"It is the story, not he who tells it." Except to us collectors who have to put limits somewhere. - jhanic
Remember, Remember, The Fifth of November, The Gunpowder, Treason, and Plot.
You never take sides with anyone against the family.
If your enemies know where you are, don't be there.
Never, ever, ever, EVER pick up hitchhikers. ::shudder::
Donna
"What can I tell you, baby? I've always been bad."--Spike
If you kill someone, with their last dying act will be to inject themselves with some drug that will mutate their bodies into an unstoppable form.
If you build it, he will come
The killer is always someone you least expect. probably your grandmother.
He wants to play a game. It's not Monopoly.
Don't hide around a corner, look around the corner, turn back, take a couple breaths, ten look around the corner again.
Raptors can open doors.
Dogs and babies can see ghosts.
If you have sex, you'll die.
Give him what he wants and he'll go away.
Human kind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange. In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one and only truth.
if you kill all versions of you in different dimensions, you'll become a god
And no, if you give him what he wants, he will NOT go away, but kill you faster. I seems to recall the phrase "It's okay, he just wanted his machete back!", before he was dismembered.
There are two kinds of people in this world - those with loaded guns, and those who dig.
Monkeys can drive you to your workplace if you're too stoned to do it yourself.
If you can't beat them, inject yourself with vampire blood and beat them that way.
Do NOT go out into the creepy dense forest with your friends and a video camera looking for a a witch. What are you gonna do if you find her, ask for an interview?
(Whoever gave him his machete probably deserved what they got.Originally Posted by razz
And no, if you give him what he wants, he will NOT go away, but kill you faster. I seems to recall the phrase "It's okay, he just wanted his machete back!", before he was dismembered.)
Don't split up.
getting or receiving a foot massage can be considered having an affair.
don't make Uma Thurman mad
That Donnie is out of his element.
That I must always keep it secret and keep it safe
Lalalalaaaa, lalalalaaa
Lalalalaaaa, lalalalaaa
sugarpop <3
Lalalalaaaa, lalalalaaa
Lalalalaaaa, lalalalaaa
sugarpop <3
That the first rule of Fight Club is you don't talk about Fight Club.
( and sure as crap I just violated that very rule, by posting )
The Man In Black Fled Across The Desert...
...And The Gunslinger Followed.
“I’m always on the Batman rule, sir.” - Kate Kane / Detective Comics 857
"It is the story, not he who tells it." Except to us collectors who have to put limits somewhere. - jhanic
if you shoot yourself in the head you can kill your alter ego
(don't try this at home)
Human kind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange. In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one and only truth.
Oh man! I was going to use this one in my initial post, but I forgot to... great minds and all that
--
Apparently madness is like gravity - all you need is a little pushhhh!!
Everyone in the past is a primitive screwhead.
Your arch nemesis may indeed be your father.
Anyone can be killed.
Time travel is possible.
Buddy, you think you look strong? You’re wearing a cape.
Some alien races like to hunt humans for the sport, and make trophies out of their skulls.
Helicopters can be taken out with a bow & arrow (I'm looking at you Rambo).
Explosions don't kill you, they just cause you to fly through the air.
Never, ever, steal weed from Rory Breaker (or ask him to turn down the television at the pub).
Any kind of penis trauma is enough to make a man faint.
Human kind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange. In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one and only truth.
When playing Dodgeball, there are 5 simple techniques to remember that can make you a better player - Dodge, Dip, Duck, Dive, and .... Dodge.
Basketball players make shitty actors
Except perhaps Ray Allen who I thought was fantastic in "He Got Game"Basketball players make shitty actors
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