Eternal Distance

[Jackie]

Never Enough

There will always be,
Another step in front of me
Another million behind
I’ll never get ot the top of that landing
I’ll always be far behind

I’ll always come up short
There is always an inch to grow
Always a pound to lose
Another hair to trim
Plastic surgery to be done

I’ll never be the pretty girl
Or the skinny girl
Never the girlfriend type
Never worthy of that title
Eternally alone

My heart will forever ach
Will the loneliness in side
Drowning in my own sorrow
Behind all of this I will hide
I’m never good enough for myself
I’ll never be good enough for anyone else

[Jackie]

Mask

There is something more,
Then meets the eyes
Beneath the mask I wear
The truth lies

Beneath all this
These costumes I wear
The real me lays dormant
But yes, it’s there

Laying there,
Like a dead cell
Awaiting an electric charge
To awaken me

It is deep in there
Beneath all of this
This everyday charade
Where I hide face beneath this mask

What am I afraid of?
Why don’t I just come out?
And be true to myself, and the rest of the world?
Because they would reject me, no doubt

It will always be me
Pretending to be someone else
This girl you see everyday
Is not my true self

[Jackie]

The Past is the Answer for my Current Destruction and my Future Demise

These memories are there
Just to haunt me
Reminding me of a past
That will once again never be

They scream in my mind
Endlessly pounding against my brain
There is no way to silence them
I can not take this pain

Blinding me
Like bright neon lights
There is no way to shut them down
Forever blinded I will be

There is no hope of a future
I can not go on like this
The only thing these memories left me
Are the scars, with in that you can not see

With those scars on my heart
And this screaming in my head
I must say goodbye
There is no pain for the dead

[Jackie]

Insomnia

There is no sleep
For these restless eyes
These eyes have see hell
They can not erase the memories,
Of what they have witnessed

This restless heart
That tosses and turns beneath my chest
Aching with the painful wounds
That seem to tear open
At the slightest touch

My mind, also restless
Tosses back and forth
Thoughts and memories
A past I can not return to
The things I can not fix

The living nightmares haunt me
Do not let me rest
They want to suffer
Awake I must be
For them to make me suffer

These things they make me think
The accusations they make
Somehow I can not deny them
They must be true
It is why I can not sleep

My eyes seem to dry
The clock seems to slow
I lay staring at the ceiling
Counting, counting
Trying to drift to sleep

There is no way
Insomnia laughs in my face
Holding me in its grip
It will not let me go
It will hold on forever

Sleepless nights
Tiresome afternoons
Insomnia is determined to drag me to insanity
A place I do not know
A place I refuse to go

Trying to get some sleep
I lay and close my eyes
But all I can see is everything,
And everyone I despise
Haunting me, Taunting me

Damn you insomnia
Damn you to hell
One day I will be loose,
loose of your hellish grip

In my face ,
you will laugh no more
I will close the door of my mind,
Forever to you
And know of you no more

[Jackie]

A Murder by Cupid

Hit with an immediate sting of pain
Impaled through chest
Blood droplets splashing against the ground

“What is this? What is this? An arrow I see
Has impaled me right through the heart?
In hopes of me being in love must it be.”

The bitter sweet, coppery taste of blood
Sugar coated, by the pounds
To seem like love

“Well purely mistaken it will be.
I am sorry dear arrow
Let down will your hopes be”

Trying to yank it free
Yet it seems to be stuck, it is in there pretty deep
Just my luck

“In there you may be
Although I will not fall for your tricks
A fool, can not be mistaken for me”

Closing my heart, to its poison I will
The poison will not be allowed to flow through my veins
And cause me a life time of pain

“Oh arrow, dear arrow mistaken you be
Take your poisons of false love some where else
A home for them I will not be”

But hold out for long
Is a feat no one can, for when the dreaded arrow has you in its grip
Doomed you be, cause there it will stay until the poisons seep in

“Arrow oh arrow, how could I have been so wrong.
What you let seep in is not poison, not poison at all
But sweet song”

The song does sound sweet, Hypnotizing melody
For sweet it will not be for long
My doomed friend, you have yet to see

“Arrow oh arrow, you dreaded thing!
You have tricked me, to let your poison seep in,
Doomed am I now how hypnotizing your false love could be”

The poison, the poison!
You fool you let it in!
It is not wise to allow yourself to be so misled!

“Dear trickster arrow, you have really done me in
My heart bleeds the poison, for ever locked in.
Oh whoa, whoa is me, I lay here dying with my heart in my hand, the poison it drips and fills the floor like grains of sand”

Eventually it will fill, the hour glass is tipped
Only time will tell, but your fate has been sealed
The poison will fill to the brim, and suffocate your heart from within

This happens to many, so many unexpecting hearts
That can not handle this poison, that thrives within these arrows
Just another tragic death, by the hand of cupid, a multi murder he is
Just greatly disguised, as love, the poison that is his

[flaggwalkstheline]

ooo jackie ur good

[Jackie]

Thank you flaggwalkstheline

[Lady_Macbeth]

Amazing stuff. I loved Insomnia, I've always liked free verse poetry as opposed to ryming, both writing and reading it. Keep up the good work!

[Jackie]

Haha thanks Mandy
I wrote Insomnia like two nights ago when I couldn't sleep
And yes, I too love free verse a lot of my poetry usually turns out to be free verse, but I do love my ryming poetry too

[Lady_Macbeth]

Haha thanks Mandy
I wrote Insomnia like two nights ago when I couldn't sleep
And yes, I too love free verse a lot of my poetry usually turns out to be free verse, but I do love my ryming poetry too

Yeah, I'm gonna try and write something rhyming too, at least once lol.

[Jackie]

Tower

Thousands of feet in the air
Every morning to every evening
She sits at a single window in despair
She looks down upon the world
How the people live their lives
The children, the husbands and their wives

She watches them everyday
And thinks how lucky they are
To be able to frolic their freedom away
She wishes so much
To be a part of them
But forever trapped in this tower is she

Imprisoned until deaths dark wing, brushes against her cheek
She wants so bad
To live a normal life
To have a home, and children, and to be a husbands wife
She looks down and sighs
She looks down and cries

She contemplates jumping
Almost everyday
It would be a quick and easy way out
It’s a pretty far fall
But when she hit the hard earth
She would only feel pain for a bit

Maybe it would be worth it
And if she did die
She may go to hell
She is not too certain
But no one can ever tell

She just wants to let go
To finally be let free
But these cold stone walls
Imprison her, she is as lonely as can be

She wants to know love
Wants to escape and never look back
But that all just a far off dream for her
Because she will never be able to break free

[Jackie]

Strings

Bonded by these stings
She walks upon the frost bitten ground
On these strings she can not wander far
She is always tied down

She looks for an escape
Around every corner
A way to detach these strings of hers
But she fears there is no way
These dreaded stings seem like they are going to stay

She wishes every day
Just wishes, wishes
Herself away
She wants to be able
To just let go
But no, oh no these dreaded strings will not go

She walks in pain
Complete agony
Just wanting to let go
There must be some way
One day, she keeps thinking to herself
One day these strings will be away
One day I will move on and leave them behind
Forgotten like a breeze in the desert
She will just be swept away

And finally it happens
All so suddenly
Something no one every expected
Till this day they still can not believe
They woke one morning
To just find her gone
Just like that, she left nothing behind
Except those old strings
To which she is no longer bound

She is finally free to live her life with out strings
To constantly hold her back
Or hold her down
She can now soar to great highs
She is lifted off the ground
Strings left behind
Where ever she may now be
I promise you this
For once in her life
She is finally happy

This was just me being bored, completly spur of the moment, bear with me I'm pretty tired at the moment too, I may revise this sometime later.

[Jackie]

Giving Up

I give up trying
I’m sick of crying
You are not really worth it after all
If you are going to be this way
Then we’d both be better off if I didn’t stay
Even better if I did not say
The reason I can not say

You have changed so much
You do not even realize it
You so oblivious
Blind to the fact
That she manipulates you like that
The whole world sees it
So why can not you
Just open your eyes
And look around for once
In the past three years

Look what she has done to you
Changed your life completely
All because you let her
No one has to wonder
Who wears the pants
Because everyone can plainly see
That she does

You let her do this to you
Do not try to say you didn’t
Do not try to say you make your own decisions
Because you do not
And I think so where inside you know that
Maybe one day you will finally realize
But by then it will be too late for that
Because you have lost me now
I am very far away

I do not think I can forgive
Not after all you have done and said
If I forgave you so easily
I could not forgive myself
And neither could anyone else
They all see you for what you are
And maybe you were always this way
I just took a while to notice
Or maybe she brought it out
Into the open air where I can see it

Either way, I am all grown up now
And I finally see the truth
And frankly I must say it hurts
Because I thought I knew you
But I was so wrong
There is so much I did not know
And now that I do
I give up

There is no way to please you
There is no way to go back
Because I don’t think you even care now
I think you have forgotten what we had
It does not matter now though
It is all in the past
A place where we can never go back
But I will always remember
How you use to be
And what she did to change that
And how you just up and left me

[Jackie]

This was really random spur of the moment I honestly don't know where it came from lol

Yesterdays Hit Song

Today is dead
Yesterday is gone
And on the radio
All that plays is the new hit song
Who is it by
No one really cares
Because it does not matter
It is just the song the people are here for
The person who sings it is a nobody
Just another person
Who does not really matter to the world
Complete nonexistent
Except for the fact of that one hit song
Which in the next month are so
Will probably be gone
Just like that person
Who ever her or she may be
Will one day be dead
Just like you and me
And then be forgotten
Just like everyone else
Death has a way of doing that
Wiping a person from our mind
Like they were never there
Dead like yesterdays hit song
Who was that by again?

[Jackie]

Always There

You are always there
Right there in my mind
I want to shut you up
Shut you down
But I can’t

Cause you are always there
Always there
There in my mind
You never shut up
Never back down
Your always there

There is no escape
I want you there
But I need you to go
There’s got to be a way
Some better place I know

Always there, always there
You never sleep
Not even in my dreams
Your always there
But now you need to go
So pack your bags
Walk out that door

I just want you to know
That your always there
Always there
In the back of my mind
You never shut up
You never back down
And your always there
Always there
In my mind

[Jackie]

So Wrong

Life should not be like this
It is really not fair
How one day someone can be right there
And then the next day be gone
Their life just wound down
Like the end of a song

Every thing is always so wrong
Nothing ever seems to go right
It does not ever get better
I am just a miserable mess
Every thing is falling apart so quickly

I wish there was some way to stop it
Or just press rewind
And start all over
Right from the beginning
And forget that any of this ever happened

I just want to burn
Every memory out of my mind
Forgetting is easier
Then dealing with the truth
And trying to put the pieces back together

My heart is far away from here
In a completely different reality
I do not belong here
It is not impossible to see
I would be happier some where else

I would be happier as someone other then myself
I just want to get away
Leave and never look back
And if someone ever asks me about my past
I’ll just tell them it is something I never had

[Lady_Macbeth]

Very nicely done. Obvious I'm sure to anyone who knows you, and even more intriguing to those who don't know the back-story. Honest to God, you should show some of these poems to the person they're about, see how he reacts. Anywho, keep up the good work!

[Jackie]

Thanks ^_^ ANd they aren't all about one person they are about a few different people depending on which poem that is. for example 'Always There' isn't about him and neither is 'So wrong" or 'Yesterdays Hit Song'

[Lady_Macbeth]

'Always There' isn't about him and neither is 'So wrong" or 'Yesterdays Hit Dong'

(Yesterday's Hit Dong! Sorry, I had to LOL @ that )

And yes, I know that. I actually just read and commented on 'giving up' before you posted the other 3 (which where also very good by the way.)

[Jackie]

OPSSSSS MAJOR TYPO ROFLMFAO

Oh, ok thanks lol

[Jon]

I like the concept (and the poem) "Yesterday's Hit Song."

[Jackie]

Thanks Jon

[Jackie]

Confusion

I keep on trying
You keep on lying
I ask myself
Why do you even bother anymore
Is it cause you care
But don’t want to admit
Who really knows

You just come up to me
And tell me you care
You tell me you have changed
You wanted me to trust you right away
Well how you expect me
to just forget everything
When you told me yourself
How too forgiving I was

Maybe you are right
Maybe I forgive to easily
Then why would you come to me
And expect immediate forgiveness
Just like that
What makes you so different from everyone else
You say I forgave too easily

Some of what you say
Seems not to be truth
Because I just can not believe
Some of the things you have told me
Things you say people have said
You might just be making it up
To try and gain my trust

So now I lay here confused
Thinking about you
And I realize I do not really know what to think
Should I be happy you say you gave up
Or should I be said
Because maybe some part of me did like you
I may never know
Cause my heart tells me to give up on you

[Jackie]

Emotions

I am at a point
Where I do not know
What to think anymore
Or how to feel
My emotions are a mystery to me
They keep going off
In so many different directions
I can not really keep track
I have lost hold of every thing
I am pretty sure of that

But of course I will not know
Because I can not keep a hold
Of my emotions anymore
I wish I could just lock them away
And feel no more
I know that would be better
Then I would not be under stress
I would not have to worry
About what to say
I would not be so confused

I wish I could know no confusion
If only for a day
A day of salvation
A day just to rest
And not worry about the world
As it comes crashing down

Feeling are such a weakness
I need to learn how to turn them off
Because that is the only way
I my ever hope to get through life

Emotionless
That would be best
Emotions just cause trouble
And seem to get in the way
So I am just going to take them all
And lock them away

Maybe some day in the future
I can unlock them
Maybe then I would be able to handle them
For right now they are too much
So goodbye to my emotions
I am throwing away the key
My heart aches too much
For you and I to be

[Jackie]

About A Boy

This is just another poem about a boy
The one you love to hate
The one I want to date
The one that I know it will never go anywhere with

I try so hard not to think about him
But he always seems to be on my mind
When I wake up, when I fall asleep
And even whilst I dream

I try so hard not to like him
Cause I know it will get me now where
But it is so hard to deny
And I can not hide it from myself

There are so many emotions
When I think about him
And so much confusion should I just trust him
I really want to, but I have not the slightest idea what to do

When I think about him
When I see him
When I talk to him
I am filled with a warmth I feel I never felt before

I am just so confused
I really do not know
What if it is all a trick
I am so afraid for that to be true

It is just a tug of war with my emotions
Because this boy has my heart
And I really do not know why
I really want him to care, and I think he may
But I think that I am afraid of that
More then anything
The truth is I care too
And I want to let him know
Even though I know he will not always be there