Roland opens the door and finds himself in Narnia, where a very pissed-off White Queen is hunting for Aslan, who is in turn raging through the ages of literature against Gan for impersonating him; meanwhile Gandalf is filing a libel suit against the White Queen for plagiarizing his not-so-original character, and Clint Eastwood (portrayed by none other than Michael J. Fox) is itching for a cage match with Roland, the winner to be deemed the archsupremacist of all gunslingerdom...except here in limbo, there are no guns, and bullets can only be fired out the anus, and this only if first consumed orally in a bowl of refried beans.