Yep, I can get dressed faster than anyone.
When telling someone to "make it snappy", wants them to snap their fingers while doing it.
Yep, I can get dressed faster than anyone.
When telling someone to "make it snappy", wants them to snap their fingers while doing it.
Have you heard of people with short fuses? Well, I have no fuse at all, and there's a thousand could testify to it if I hadn't stilled their tongues for good.
You can't ignore my girth.Originally Posted by LadyHitchhiker
I just happen to think everything goes better with a beat.
Thinks the electric slide could benefit from real electricity.
"Help me out here
All my words are falling short
And there's so much I want to say"
That one I modified at the playground sure did...
Instead of putting a stripper in a cake, put a massive wasp nest.
Have you heard of people with short fuses? Well, I have no fuse at all, and there's a thousand could testify to it if I hadn't stilled their tongues for good.
You can't ignore my girth.
The stripper-in-the-cake rountine has been played to death. It was time to mix things up a bit.
Is building a replica of France with toilet paper.
"Help me out here
All my words are falling short
And there's so much I want to say"
I'll let YOU decide if the toilet paper has been used first or not!
Has lip synched Bohemian Rhapsody in a high school talent show
Buddy, you think you look strong? You’re wearing a cape.
I thought it went over pretty well.
Had really hairy armpits until they got in an accident with a roll of ducttape.
Have you heard of people with short fuses? Well, I have no fuse at all, and there's a thousand could testify to it if I hadn't stilled their tongues for good.
You can't ignore my girth.
Unfortunate as it was, I was later able to make a small fortune selling my armpit hair tape on eBay for an undisclosed amount.
Can't stop thinking of anchovy pizza when masturbating.
And vice versa; it really got me in trouble as a waiter at Pizza Hut.
Tests their resistance to cold by shoving popsicles in every orifice of their body until each one has melted.
Have you heard of people with short fuses? Well, I have no fuse at all, and there's a thousand could testify to it if I hadn't stilled their tongues for good.
You can't ignore my girth.
What? I needed sticks for my popsicle stick sculpture of the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.
Once ate an entire living mongoose on a dare.
It really started putting up a fight as soon as I sunk my teeth in its leg.
Slowly and sensually spanks the hippos at the zoo.
Have you heard of people with short fuses? Well, I have no fuse at all, and there's a thousand could testify to it if I hadn't stilled their tongues for good.
You can't ignore my girth.
Hey, it's what they pay me for!
Can't help but feel lonely when ever an ice cream truck drives by playing "Pop Goes the Weasel."
Nobody's popped my weasel in a really long time...
Made "ice cream" by mixing ice and hand cream.
Have you heard of people with short fuses? Well, I have no fuse at all, and there's a thousand could testify to it if I hadn't stilled their tongues for good.
You can't ignore my girth.
It tasted all nice and minty, and it didn't give me brain freeze, no matter how fast I ate it. ^_^
Watches nothing but reality television.
You may wonder how I manage to get in 22 hours a day of TV with just that, and I must admit, it isn't easy.
Thought Fritos were "Free Toes".
Have you heard of people with short fuses? Well, I have no fuse at all, and there's a thousand could testify to it if I hadn't stilled their tongues for good.
You can't ignore my girth.
Toes are tasty...chips are awful
Went to the liquor store to buy some soda...
"See the TURTLE of enormous girth,
On his shell he holds the earth.
If you want to run and play,
Come along the BEAM today."
NFA JJG 42-95
All they had was special alcoholic soda, though.
Went to a liquor store to buy a slave who would lick them.
Have you heard of people with short fuses? Well, I have no fuse at all, and there's a thousand could testify to it if I hadn't stilled their tongues for good.
You can't ignore my girth.
Where else am I supposed to get one? Bed, Bath and Beyond?!
Likens themselves to a crackhead when it comes to sock sniffing,
Wouldn't a crackhead really be smelling underwear? :blink:
you're solid gold // i'll see you in hell
I meant, they love sniffing socks the way a crackhead loves that sweet rock.
The smell of feet remind me of a simplier time.
Tried the life of a superhero out, but couldn't get used to the tights.
"Help me out here
All my words are falling short
And there's so much I want to say"
Chafing is no joke, even for a superhero!
Has a high powered job but dreams of stacking shelves.
If only I could stock the shelves, I'd be a much happier man.
Drives an Jaguar...an actual jaguar.
"Help me out here
All my words are falling short
And there's so much I want to say"
Well, with gas proces so high, and there being an unlimited supply of orphans to feed Snuggly, it's only common sense.
Ran around for 2 days wearing nothing but a diaper screaming obscenities at pigeons until tazed by a rogue girl scout troop.
Last time I buy their cookies!
Knows that pigeons are slowly taking over the world and the reason why wearing diapers will save you!
I'm all for the APC's (Angry Pigeon Coalition) sovereignty, plus, I think the Huggies make my ass look so sweet.
Thinks my ass looks sweet in these Huggies.
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