Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris can divide by 0.
Chuck Norris can make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parasects.
Chuck Norris knows what Willis was talking about.
In the beginning, God said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris said, "Say please!"
How am I just now finding this thread?
Chuck Norris was the only survivour of the 300 Spartans
The tides aren't caused by the gravity of the moon. It's the ocean's way of trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
The rotation of the Earth was caused by one of Chuck's roundhouse kicks.
Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
For Feev:
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Okay, this may be my favorite:
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever
Where are you guys getting these? Are they all from the book?
Umm.... They're all common knowledge.Originally Posted by obscurejude
Okay, I found some.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Roland would have understood.
OMG. Those two.
I am Daenerys Stormborn and I will take what is mine. With fire and blood.
Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.
If you spell Chuck Norris' name in scrabble, you win. Forever.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris doesn't shave. He punches himself in the face repeatedly.
The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin.
Behind his beard is another fist waiting to attack.
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