Winter Black

[Steve]

I don't watch em either; I just said this was fast-paced and very in-your-face about it.

[Candice Dionysus]

Mmm. Yeah. I don't even know where the idea came from in the first place. XD It just... Appeared in my mind at work Tuesday.

[Jean]

Little Princess, darling, is it going to be a catalogue thread for both poetry and prose? Then I'll move it to Turtleback Lane proper, ok?

[Candice Dionysus]

Oh, no, I just didn't want to make a separate thread... I wasn't sure how long that little story was going to be, so I just put it here.

[Jean]

would you prefer to make a separate prose thread in Turtleback proper, or that this thread be moved there as a catalogue thread?

[Candice Dionysus]

The story itself is finished. I don't see the trouble in removing it competely and replacing it with a link to my deviantART account, where the whole thing has been submitted in one piece.

[Jean]

removing it???

::faints::

don't say such terrible words

Please, please, make a separate thread in Tuttleback proper! If you don't want to, PM me; I'll think of more options.

Dear friends, I hope everybody agrees that it is a good story and should remain here? We need good texts, not links.

[Candice Dionysus]

Ok. Ok. I'll make a separate thread. Tomorrow, after work, or maybe Sunday night. I'm not sure.

[Jean]

thank you Little Princess!

[Candice Dionysus]

Not a problem. I made the thread.

[Candice Dionysus]

208 syllables set in groups given a letter based on the number of syllables in each perfectly designed sentence make for one of the best "songs" my brother and I have ever worked on the lyrics for.

A = 11; B = 6; C = 5; D = 8; E = 9; F = 5; G = 7; H = 14.

I'm aware that C and F have the same numberical value, however this was done on purpose, due to C and F not technically rhyming, even though the rhyme isn't always the same in each paragraph.

It goes by paragraph:

ABAC

ABAC

DD

FAEA

GAEA

DD

HDH

Essentially a giant, new-style haiku specifically designed by my own intentions of trying something new.

---------------------------------------------

The inconsequential passage of decades
Grayscale moon in the sky
Unique, though inferior to her refrain
The flow, eratic

His life inconceivable was made of fail
The man will surely die
There is a place that is worse than any jail
Hell in the attic

She takes him back in mind alone
To see the actions he condoned

His time is come now
All memory of his like to be erased
Her pain unbearable even still
She was the thing he had never meant to face

Her refrain tinted rosy
Tomorrow promises insanity, too
Her memories her mind would now fill
Unable to reconcile just what to do

To think that such things could ever
Be would still not make things better

Unthinkable that we could float on our dreams just like this
But the morning begins anew
Bright the daylight shines again upon broken lovers bliss

---------------------------------------------

Written by Candice Wozniak / Dionysus and Camron Wozniak.
As yet no music to go with it.

[Jon]

May I be kindly critical?

i love ya lady.

You paint GREAT pictures in the mind but they seem...unfinished.


I am sorry.

[Candice Dionysus]

Of course you may. Its one of the reasons I post them here. But... Unfinished how?

[Jon]

Maybe its just my mind but this phrase at the end of the post, for example began to paint a picture in my mind but the last line left the picture unfinished. maybe that was your aim though, and a shortfall of my imagination. But the truth is I like the poem.

"His life inconceivable was made of fail
The man will surely die
There is a place that is worse than any jail
Hell in the attic"

[Candice Dionysus]

Well, glad you like it, darling. Heh. This is actually going to be a part of a theme album, actually... I'm going to write more for before it, and more for after it. Eventually.

[Frunobulax]

I think that the pattern you're using is restricting you and leads to half-baked ideas, to be frank. It seems that you're trying to use verbiage that, while flowery, appears to be clunky from a composer's standpoint based around this theme album idea. I'll admit I've used words like "nouveau riche" and "bourgeoisies" in songs (demos still), but I've made them work by splitting those words across two or even three lines. This whole new structure is just like this weird thing that, currently, does not seem to work 100%.

[Candice Dionysus]

Opinion noted, Fruno. Thanks for the feedback. The whole theme album won't be done in that style. Thats just for that one.

[Candice Dionysus]

"Oh, Mirror, Mirror, on my wall,
dear, who is the fairest of them all?"
"Why you, my sweet, my darling one.
Its you, oh Queen, oh gorgeous one."
She picked the mirror up off the wall, and spun around, wide and high
To carefully place it back upon its hook, lest she break the flattering fiend, and it should die.
The queen, she danced, she sang, for joy
That she should be the fairest toy
To grace the lands in which she ruled
To wear dresses, and capes, to wear crowns, and carry scepters jeweled.
As she spun dyed hair fluttered about
A flurry of purples and blues and greens.
And as she stopped gold candy lips did pout
To entice you nearer with sugar kisses.
And when lash-heavy lids did lift from their drooping
Emerald eyes called you deep to her ruling.
And blood down her cheek
Slowly did streak
Out the corners, no doubt
Of that perfect little mouth
To conceal fangs like daggers
As she reels and staggers
All through the night
Drunk on anothers life.
"Mirror, my Mirror, tell me, my friend
Who's the most lovely in all of this land?"
"T'is you, oh gracious, oh wondrous Queen,
T'is only you I've ever seen."
Then laughter graced those candy lips
And a dance coursed through those perfect hips,
And joy was visited upon the land,
(Though not for all, as the case at hand
Was that someone always had to die)
And in the daylight there would lie
Our perfect queen, in perfect trust,
And perfect love, and perfect lust,
In perfect denial, perfectly removed
From the world upon which she ruled.
Soft hands caress a woman's cheeks,
And the victim plays with the hair's streaks,
And the lips find home
In neck and bone
To mar the beauty of the skin,
Though never the beauty deep within.
And this one she leaves to live again,
To become her princess, vampires kin,
And when the fledgling soon arose
It was her the Mirror in secret chose,
But every time the Mirror did lie
He spared the wrath and vengeful eye
Of a vampire queen,
Though curious and keen,
Upon the world below
(and, wouldn't you know?)
The queen one did ask quiet clearly
"Mirror, my Mirror, surely...
You can't believe, in all this time, that I'm the most perfect in all eternity?"
The Mirror, feeling guilty
Spoke the truth, for it was his duty.
"My Queen, my love, my darling dear,
There is another afters all these years...
One who I fear would rival you
In looks, beauty, and grace, too."
And here sweet Mirror did pause,
And in the Queen this did cause
Quiet a curious reaction
And you could clearly see in every action
That she was furious inside
"Tell, dear Mirror, for time you shall not bide,
Who is this of whom you speak?"
"When the Fledgling you did seek
I fear you chose too perfectly of them,
For the one who rivals you is Gem,
Your one companion."
Deliciously her fury flew
And Mirror died when smashing through
Came the first large object our Queen could find.
And with his final words he spoke
(And since Mirrors cannot sputter or choke
They came through quite clear.)
"My Queen, these words you must hear!
Your fledgling matches you in every way
That she surpassed you I did not say,
But that she rivalled you in everything,
And for you that should not have been
Quite so surprising as it was,
But seeing as your reactions speak of a lack of love
I ask only that you remember this one
Thing before your life is done:
How lonely you were
Before you found her
Will never be greater than if she is gone
And one again you're the only one
Who is graceful, beautiful, perfect, and true...
And when the only one left is you
Your life will be boring, your fun at an end,
And into the other world yourself you might send,
For without your companion, vampire kin,
You'll lose that final spark within."

[Jon]

I deeply hope my critique was not taken personal. Iam envious of so many aspects of your talent!

[Candice Dionysus]

Of course it wasn't taken personally. Not in a bad way. I like feedback, hon.

[Candice Dionysus]

Crave



I don’t realize I
Need you, as I lay atop
You tickle,
I need, I crave the attention
You seem to give so freely.
My heart yearns now for…
Always more,
Always need it,
Live and breathe it…

Craving contact I
Bite your neck,
Nibble your ear…
Lust left unchecked
Soon turns unclear…
Loving your large hands
Kneading my buttocks
And still I feel…
Unsure.

As the night progresses
My mind regresses and…
Want you, need you,
Crave you, bleed you…
Its all the same, its
All insane, yet all that I
Am able to think is
How much I want, I need
To feel your hands all on me.

I want you, hard,
Heart beats fast ‘neath my corset
And for all of it I
Can’t shake the deep
Fascination I have…
You said you’re a virgin,
Well I’m the remedy.
You can’t fathom and
I can’t let it be.

And the more I try
To ignore I find
I can’t drop the subject
Of you, even now.
I want to fell you
On me, in me,
All around me I
Know it’s so clear!
Take this opportunity.

In the end I still
Think of what we have,
And I could really see
You and me,
Five years from now,
Happy.

[Candice Dionysus]

King Loki

Come forth, O God of Chaos,
Come forth, O Trickster of the Night.

Take part in freedom, take part in gluttony,
Take part in the most holy of sins.

Break free, O Charmer of Mortals,
Break free, O Father of Fun.

Come forward to love, to push and to shove,
Come forward to show us our follies.

Bring forth, O King of the Cheaters,
Bring forth, O Lord of the Lies,

The thing that we need, if ever you're free'd,
The thing that will bring us new life.

Go freely, O Master of Freedom,
Go freely, O Mystery to Men.

You can come, you can go, for we will it so,
You can stay as you wish among them.

We need you, O Liege of our Lives,
We need you to show us the way,

For we're lost in a haze, for the rest of our days,
For we're lost without you, King Loki.

King Loki!

Our Lord and Master!
Our God and Saviour!

Break free of the entrails of your Narfi!
Break free of the boulder that hold you down,

And no more shall your Sigyn hold her bowl
Above your head to stop the venom

Of the Snake from boring into your brain!
Come forth, King Loki,

Bring forth that which will protect us
When you're free!

Go freely unto the world from which
You've been removed,

And no more shall we be lost
In our absolute need of you!

As we will it to be,
King Loki, break free!

[Fall of Gilead]

King Loki

Definitely Viking Metal, Canny!

[Candice Dionysus]

That was I suppose the idea behind it. It was technically written as a half-sung chant for a role play I run, but I like it too much not to have shared it here.


I missed you, Foggy! [hugs]

[Fall of Gilead]

*fuzzy hugs for the poet*