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Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris doesn't read, he stares down books until he gets the information he wants.

(I once saw graffitti on a wall which read - Chuck Norris wouldn't have needed the wall to write this.)