Llamalady Poetry

[LadyHitchhiker]

I thought I'd start sharing some of my serious poetry, that isn't just parodies, but alas and alack I am wondering where they have floated to. Here's one to wet your lips though, just a taste for now. This one I made years ago, and it is actually a song, and I'm not sure if all the words are precisely what I had written down, but it's close enough to get the gist. It's been in my head a lot lately because of stuff that's gone on in my life.


Another Done Somebody Wrong Song

I know I should leave you
If I wanna save my mind at all;
but if I leave you
I know I'll surely fall

I wish I could make it right again
after all the stupid things I said.
I had to leave you far behind
so I wouldn't lose my mind
and it's wrong, wrong, wrong,
that you're gone, gone, gone
so I have to sing this song again.

And if I hadn't left you
I would've left my mind behind
but since I left you
I left my soul behind

I wish I could make it right again
Feel like I’ve lost my only friend
I had to leave you far behind
So I wouldn’t lose my mind
And it’s wrong wrong wrong
That you’re gone gone gone
I have to sing this song again

And since you're dead now
I know I can't bring you back
I've fallen apart now
feel like I've had a heart attack.

I wish I could make it right again
Now that I've lost it all again
now that I've left you behind
I've finally lost my mind
And it’s wrong wrong wrong
That it’s gone gone gone
This way we can be together again

For what can it profit
anyone at all?
If you save your mind,
but lose your heart in the fall?

It might be wrong wrong wrong
if I too were gone gone gone
but then maybe we could be together again?


Feedback is welcome. Hopefully I can dig up some good stuff soon.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Ooooooooooooh I found a few more:


"You Guys Were There"

When I did things so excellent
You guys were there.
When I didn't do things you said I did;
When you were so benevolent
You guys weren't there.
When I tried to be nice
You made me act as if I had lice
You never gave me a second chance twice
And you were there.
Only six of you
Never tried to deny the truth
Because they knew what I was
And they didn't bother me because
They were nice.
You guys didn't care.
But the rest,
O the rest,
The rest that put my patience to the test...
You... You were there at the worst times
Ready to tease me and torture me in line
You guys were there.
You stared
You glared
You didn't care.
You guys were there.
You hate me.
You degraded me.
No one of you liked me
And I liked everybody
Except for those who were always there.
You guys were there,
And my friends weren't.
You guys were there
Faster than the river's currents.
You guys were there
Ready to insult.
You guys wer there
More faithful than a priest and his cult.
You guys were there,
Ready to pay your toll.
You guys were always there
Ready to be assholes.


"Post-Vietnam-Syndrome"
Mommy, the ghosts are back
but they're not only im my dreams
Daddy's friend is blue and black
can't you hear his screams?
Mommy, I'm seeing nightmares
but they're not only in my room
Daddy would care
I'm getting sent to my doom
Mommy, no.. don't send me to bed -
do you know what you're doing?
I'm gonna be dead -
do you know what you're doing?
Mommy, help G. I. Joe
He just lost a leg
Mommy, help me, I don't know;
is he alive or is he dead?
Mommy, Dadd's crying
his friend's black and blue and red
Daddy yells at him: he can't be dying
Mommy, is he dead?
Mommy, what's going on now?
He's all covered with blood
If he drops his hands now
then he'll release the flood.
Daddy's in the field now
he can't get no release
what's he doing now?
He's got blood all over his fatigues
Mommy, why were you fighting
with Daddy that night?
It was scary, all the lightning
just amplified the fight.
Mommy, why were all those men
pulling Daddy away?
I still remember what he said:
"You're not going to die today!
Mommy, you're covered with red
May I ask you a question?
Mommy, is Daddy dead?
Why do you keep saying: "God bless him"?
Mommy, whose blood is that?
Do you know what you're doing?
Mommy, where's dad?
Do you know what you're doing?
Mommy, fix G. I. Joe;
you can make everything okay
Mommy, where'd my daddy go?
Is he gonna die today?


And no, they aren't all dark.

[Jon]

I cannot stand not knowing who the "six" are in "You Guys Were There."


Good stuff, BTW

[LadyHitchhiker]

Thanks! I know I've got better stuff somewhere... but damned if I can remember where I put it... but as soon as I can find more of it... And then I'll add new stuff here too!

[Jon]

Who, or what are "the six?"

[LadyHitchhiker]

The six were the six people in my class who were actually nice to me. The rest of the 30 kids in the class were very emotionally, verbally, and sometimes physically abusive to me. Gotta love that Catholic School. :beat: :onfire: That one was written back in junior high... It was basically about how people only were friends when they felt like it, and only supported me when it behooved them. That nobody really was my friend, and that the six were just nice because it was in their nature, not because they wanted to be my friend.

[LadyHitchhiker]

(my only published work of poetry)


Sweetest Therapy
I never wrote for you
and I never will.
I wrote for me
and I always will.
Maybe someday, you could be my muse,
which means maybe you'll put some ideas in my head,
but I don't want you to confuse
yourself in thinking I don't still write for myself.
I might write to you
but that's still for me.
It is my sweetest therapy.

[Jon]

Well...make it 7 now dear.

[Jean]

more than that, I believe

[LadyHitchhiker]

:huglove:
I :wub: you two!!!!!!! :)

[Mark]

Brilliant pieces of Poetry, you have a wonderful gift :rose:

[LadyHitchhiker]

Wow! Thanks Bruce Wayne! :)

Just for the encouragement, I located some more of my poetry! :) As you can tell, I use all sorts of different rhyme schemes, and all sorts of different styles and inspirations. I'm not just a parody girl, as some people thought I was... though those are my favorite because they're silly... A lot of my poetry just contains so much pain in my life, and so much growth and it's really hard to share because it's so personal. And when someone else reads it, maybe they won't see what I shared, but I still shared it, if that makes sense. But none of this next section are personal, I have plenty of personal ones to share later!

But here's one of my favorite:


It's A Nuclear World
Try try again
till the world does end
heroes burn as well as I
Messages they may send
but when the world does end
at least I know I tried
When the flames do burn the hands that tend
the chickens of Ken
and the scripts which says only the strong survive
We'll look at our friends
and know the dead end
and realize no one will know we were alive
Not when life springs again
or a baby reaches ten
or a horse reaches fifty-five, then dies
Nor about the ears we did lend
or the laws we did bend
Not that girls thought themselves below guys
They won't know of a pen
or the hearts it opened
or the tears it brought to people's eyes
Not of suntan lotion
and suppressed emotions
or even how to create knives
When they look up then
when the future happens
then they'll know and realize
It's a wonderful life
It's a Nuclear World
So much for Crimson Tide.

All These Sorries
6 days until I'm 22
my thoughts STILL they return to you
in my heart you still remain
and because of this there is pain.
All those sorries you said for
no reason before
could be used now instead
of making this bed
and lying in it.
But this is your decision, isn't it?
And I made mine.
I can't stay sane with you in this life of mine.

Sea Cow
Well, I wouldn't go anywhere without you
Actually, on second though, I probably would.
And there's nothing you couldn't give me to make me happier.
Well actually, now that I think about it, you could.
You could quit getting lucky with my boyfriend
- no I'm not exactly saying you're a whore -
and when you go to sleep at night if you would please
put a pillow over your face when you snore.
Well everywhere I go with you I get taunted
and at us they try to catapault cows
I'm a very patient person
but it's kinda getting a little annoying now.
You're bearable to be about in public,
except when you burst out into song
and I don't know why the freaks
always tell you to go back to the zoo where you belong.
Well everywhere I go with you I get taunted
and at us they try to catapault cows
They're threatening to call the DNR
and it's getting a little annoying now,
Because you see, you're my best friend.
No, wait! You're just a sea cow!

All Is Gone
the vial drops
and all is gone
no good cop, bad cop
no good, no wrong
the vial drops
the acids rise
they burn their throats
they burn their eyes
And all is gone
All is gone
cause stupid man
thought it would protect us
in the long run
The bomb falls
the shroom cloud spreads
gone is all
all are dead
nothing left
except for bugs
no one bereft
no one's graves are dug
And all is gone
All is gone
cause stupid man
thought it would protect us
in the long run
the computers fail
the patients die
everyone wails
planes fall, don't fly
elevators crash down to the first floor
everything's gone wrong
there's nobody anymore
cause all is gone gone gone
gone gone gone
Because stupid man
thought he could protect us
in the long run.

[LadyHitchhiker]

This one's funny, and based partially on a true story, exaggerated for dramatic effect. We'll start light and get a little deeper. Feedback is welcome, guys!


Vanity is a Great Game to Play At
A very special person
came up the other day
and asked for my opinion
on the world today.
They asked me a question
and it was "who would be
in your opinion
the most fascinating person of the past century?"
And of course
I thought about it but only for a jiffy -
when you've got such small resources,
you always revert to the most important people you see -
and so I had to put down my name.
Ah yes, there it is you see!
No I'm not insane!
My name's in the high school newspaper. That's me!
Maybe it was 'cause I'm a senior
maybe it's cause I'm cool
maybe it's cause all the others were inferior
because all the rest were just fools.
But that's my name in black and white!
That's my name right there!
That's right.
They put my name. Oh beware!
Now the journalists are swarming
like millions of killer bees.
They ask me questions about global warming
and about all the latest policies.
They ask me about biological warfare
and the new style of Big Mac.
They give me tons of free teddy bears.
They ask me to sign their battery packs.
Sure. There were a few others mentioned
but none as beautiful as me
and half of the others are dead,
kaput, deceased!
Now me and my boyfriend
can't even go out on a date
without being asked when's the world going to end
since he said: "Bill Gates,"
and got his name in the news.
Now at first it was a lot of fun
but now I guess I'm having the blues.
Am I the only one
losing the feeling of novelty?
But I can't retract my statement
since people worship me.
And imagine the beratement
I would undergo
if suddenly people came under the impression
that I was not in the know.
They'd all be in great depressions
because I put down my name.
Now they worship me
and they'd call me insane
if I tell them: "I didn't mean me!"
But even though it's lost its novelty,
I can't help but feel it's kind a sweet
to be the most fascinating person of the century
even if the only one who voted for me was me.

Broken
Broken rusted swings
Broken rusted dreams
the grown girl sings
only to keep away the screams.
A Libra fixed on love and balance
found something broken
and with no chance
no magic tokens
to fix it she still invested
herself
And found the best
in herself.
In the end, the body lay broken
her heart it too never the same
but even with the right tokens
she wouldn't have known how to win this game.
At least she had found him
known him
loved him.
She is now stronger because of him.

Time It Was
Time it was
and what a time it was
it was
a time for burning incense
and losing confidences
far away
he must be
I have a photograph
that's all of him that's left you see
only memories.

Some Wounds
I can't give you up -
not now or ever.
Some wounds never heal,
they just fester.
I loved you, I love you
now and forever,
but if you think you're stronger
without me, than I'll never

stand in your way,
make it a harder day
I'll just go somewhere and hide
dream of laying by your side
and I'll dream
of a better way
to make you stay.

You won't talk to me anymore.
These emotions build up inside of me -
I hurt to the core.
I know you think you're better not being beside me.
Some wounds never heal,
they just fester.
And if I told you I never want to kiss you
and that I'll never miss you
I wish you'd

stand in the way
make it a better day
so I don't have to run and hide
you'd lay down b y my side
and we'd dream
of a brighter day
where we both could stay.

I know that we'd be no good together.
Maybe we can't have a future ever.
But if I don't try
I'm afraid I'll cry forever.
And I'm afraid

You won't stand in the way
You'll scream for me to go away
After all we had together
you would push me away forever?
Maybe I can dream -
after I cry and scream -
of a better way
to stay together.

Some wounds you'll never learn from.
Some wounds you'll only burn from.
You want it? You got it -
my heart on my sleeve.
You want it? You got it -
but now I watch you leave.

I still can't give you up
even though you've closed the door on me -
my heart won't be locked up -
you still have the key.
I know we never would've worked out,
but we could've tried
instead you

stood in the way
begged me to go away
I had to run and hide
and now I lay and scream
trying to hide my heart that hangs on my sleeve.

Some wounds never heal
they just fester.
They never heal.
Never get better.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Ouch
Ouch
what I wouldn't give
to have you on the back of the couch
where you belong; to have you live
with me for a little more
as long as you
weren't sore.
I miss you.
There is a crater in my life
that you made when you left this plane
There's a light
you brought to my life
that I look for every night.
My back, feels as if a knife
has been stuck between my shoulder blades
since you've been gone.
I've had one good night of sleep, well, may-
be two since you've been gone.
The pain doesn't fade
it doesn't diminish.
I feel like this play
has had a sick finish.
Most days I fake it
- and almost believe - that I'm okay
but I can't shake it
- no real relief - I don't want you away.
You were so much a part of me
and now that you have departed from me
I feel I have to relearn life.
It's almost like having to learn to walk again,
to breathe again
to talk again
to be me again.
To be everything again without you, Linus.
Minus Linus
I am a sore excuse for a person.
Without you, I am a diet version.
I miss you, my best friend.
I don't think I could ever be prepared
for the end.
I never thought you could make me care
so much with how many defenses
I had built.
And now I don't know
if that part of me has been killed,
if I have anywhere else to grow
even after everything you've taught.
I want to make you proud of me
but right now that's a lot
to ask for
a task for
which I am not prepared.
I never thought I could have cared
this much for anyone again.
I truly miss you my dearest friend.

[LadyHitchhiker]

My Best Friend
I had a bad day and he was there;
he made it seem that I shouldn't care.
If I was struggling with my grief
he'd perch on my shoulder and never leave.
When I was cooking he would help, sit by the stove;
he never wanted me to make food alone.
And when I just felt like watching tv
he was there, viligantly beside me,
hoping we'd watch star trek - he liked to watch the stars stream.
And he always helped me when I had a bad dream.
He never held a single grudge.
He never acted like my judge.
He accepted me and loved me just the way I am
and that is why I am lost without him, my friend.
It was his employ
to live for my joy
and I lived for his.
I guess I never would have any way to be ready for this.

Salve
I wish I could translate
from my memory and my emotions
how much you meant to me each day
but it's muddled like the oceans
Every night I lay
with the hopeful notion
that I will wake up to find
that this was all a dream
I wouldn't mind
not waking up to scream
from the loss I still find
as tears stream
I find you still have left me
I live with guilt, an angry friend
a friend I can communicate
with but who screams to no end
I don't know how to relate
even to those whose ears they lend
Is there a deeper name
for pain?
A stronger adage
for rage?
Is there a way to employ
the joy
that you brought to me each day
that you still stayed?
Anything I have you can have.
Anything I can get I would give.
If I could find the salve
to let you live.

Morning Mouring
Mourning has broken me, like the first mourning
Eulogies spoken, like the first words
Pain in the singing, pain in the mourning
Pain in the stinging fresh from the world

Feel my new heart's fall, he sits in heaven
Like the first anvil, knocked off my ass
I miss his sweetness, I feel myself weaken
With him was completeness and now he has passed

Mine was the sunlight I am now mourning
Born with this one life, I miss his face
I miss his elation, pain every morning
Wish for inspiration, to get through each day.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Free Fallin
He's a good boy, loves his mama
Loves catnip and doing tricks too
He's a good boy crazy bout Star Trek
Loves the Beatles and Mandarin too

Its a long day living in Kingsford
There's no freeway around us at all
And I'm a bad girl cause I can't not miss him
I'm a bad girl for stopping his heart

And I'm free, free fallin
Yeah I'm free, free fallin

All the vets are workin in their clinics
And all of their hearts soon fill with shards
And all the bad boys visit in the shadows
All the good girls are home with broken hearts

And I'm free, free fallin
Yeah I'm free, free fallin
Free fallin, now I'm free fallin, now I'm
Free fallin, now I'm free fallin, now I'm

I wanna take his soul to Valhalla
I wanna write his name in the sky
Gonna free fall out into nothin
Wanna leave this world for a while

And I'm free, free fallin
Yeah I'm free, free fallin

[Jon]

OOooo

It was almost real in my head.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Any one in particular, Jon?

[LadyHitchhiker]

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_vEv23J7C3kQ/SuUSpmq4Q5I/AAAAAAAAABA/ooO-jNMEsuQ/s400/sad.jpg
Hurt
I hurt again today
At least it's something to feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
With you I found I was whole
With you my familiar, I'd sing
Memories ebb and fade
But I will remember everything

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everywhere I see you
My dear friend
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I had to put you down
I am left with hurt

I'm left forlorn
upon the rolling chair
Full of broken shards
I cannot repair
mistakes in the strains of time
The feelings reappear
I am someone else
But I am still right here

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everywhere I go I see you
My dear friend
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I had to put you down
I am left with hurt.

If I could start again
A few light years away
I would keep you for myself
And take away your pain

[LadyHitchhiker]

Creep-Inspired Parody by me (8-24-10)
(sorry for the emo, the song helps me purge my grief)

When you were here before
Couldn't not look in your eyes
You're now my angel
Your fur makes me cry

It floats like a feather
In the beautiful world
Wish I had someone special
You're so fricking special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if I hurt
I want to have control
I want you with a perfect body
Since you have a perfect soul

I can't help but notice
That you're not around
You're so fricking special
Wish I had someone special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

He's running out again
He's running
He run, run, run, run
Run

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fricking special
wish I still had someone special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here

[Jon]

A lucky kitty.

[LadyHitchhiker]

I wrote this song to my major glee and giggling matter of laughing at myself and with myself with a little inspiration from John Blaze, as a mild exaggeration of my giving abilities to poke fun of me... but only mildly. Almost all of it's true, I think.

A parody of Denis Lear'ys song: Asshole

Giver
(Sung)
I'm just a regular Jane with two part-time jobs.
I'm your average not-completely-white slob.
I like reading and family and the Dark Tower.
I've got a leaky apartment with a peeling up floor.
My husband, my jobs, my cats and my car.
My feet on my table listening to Jimi's guitar.
But sometimes that just ain't enough
to keep someone like me interested
(oh no) no way (uh-uh)
No, I've gotta go out and give at my own expense
(oh yeah) Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
I drive the exact speed limit in the correct lane,
While people behind me are going insane.
I'm a giver (She's a giver, what a giver)
I'm a giver (She's a giver, what a giver)
I use public toilets and I clean up the seats,
I turn the fans on in the summertime to protect my cats from the heat
I'm a giver (She's a giver, what a giver)
Here you go here's my liver!
Sometimes I park in far away spaces,
To give other people the better parking spaces.
I'm a giver (She's a giver, what a giver)
Here you go here's my liver!
Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
Sharing and caring and getting along
Maybe they're right
when they tell me I'm wrong...
NAAAAH!
I'm a giver (She's a giver, what a giver)
Here you go here's my liver!
(Spoken)
Know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna drive my grey rusty 1989 Chevy Celebrity, giving people rides along the way, stopping at every red traffic light, yeah! And I'm gonna drive out of my way, going exactly the speed limit, and not ask for any gas money even if I'm only getting 1 mile per gallon, givin' out quarter pound cheeseburgers from McDonald's in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers... yeah! And when I'm done givin' out those greaseball burgers I'm gonna take those styrofoam containers and make crafts on the side, and you're gonna wonder how and why does she do it? Because I'm the bomb, that's right.. yeah! And there isn't a single thing anybody can do about it.
You know why? Because I am the bomb, that's why... yeah! Two words: giving forever, okay?
Russia, Czechoslovakia, Romania, they can have all the selfishness, they want...they can have a self-serving cakewalk right through the middle of Tienamen Square but it they want to make a single bit of difference, they got to be the bomb, okay?
And my loved ones that are dead, in my memories aren't frozen. They're living in my heart right now, and if they could see me right now, they'd be pretty proud of me. You know why? Even if they could only see me for an hour? Well multiply their love by 15 million times, that's how proud my family's going to be. And I'd see my dad, Kami Kazi, LeAnn, Linus, and a whole slew of others and I'd-
(Hey, hey, hey, hey, you know you really are a giver?)
Why don't you shut up and sing the song.
(Sung)
I'm a giver (She's a giver, what a giver)
Here you go here's my liver!
S-H-E is a G-I-V-E-R
S-H-E is a G-I-V-E-R
Everybody, S-H-E is a G-I-V-E-R
Ay Ay-Ay Ay-Ay Ay-Ay
A-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom
Oooooooo
(Spoken)
I'm a giver and I'm proud of it!

[LadyHitchhiker]

Dear, Grief

No, I can't waste one more breath on you
Cause all that's waiting after this is death
And don't you know I'm not your host, anymore;
You stole the loves I loved the most.
You try to steal all my life
And now you want me one more time.

And who do you think you are,
Running 'round taking tolls,
Collecting your jar of souls
And tearing up every heart?
You're gonna catch a cold
From the eyes inside your soul!
So don't come back for me!
Who do you think you are?

I know you're waiting around
Happy to reside with ones you've found;
But I have grown to long
For someone else's arms.
I've learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time?!

And who do you think you are
Running 'round taking tolls
Collecting your jar of souls
And tearing up every heart?!
You're gonna catch a cold
From the eyes inside your soul!
So don't come back for me;
Who do you think you are?!

Grief: it took so long just to feel alright,
Remember how to put back the life in my eyes;
I wish I had missed the first time I did list
All the times you broke your promises.
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back!!!!!

And who do you think you are
Running 'round taking tolls
Collecting your jar of souls
And tearing up every heart?!
You're gonna catch a cold
From the eyes inside your soul!
So don't come back for me!
Don't come back for me!
Don't come back at all!

Who do you think you are?
And who do you think you are
Running 'round taking tolls
Collecting your jar of souls
And tearing up every heart?!
You're gonna catch a cold!
From the eyes inside your soul!
So don't come back for me!
Who do you think you are?
Don't come back for me!
Don't come back at all!

Who do you think you are?

[LadyHitchhiker]

Parody I wrote of Nothing Compares to you by Sinead O'Connor:
Posted 12-08-2010 at 09:48 PM by Llamalady
It's been thirteen hours and 16 months
since you took your love away
I work all night and work all day
since I took your love away
since you've been gone I can cook whatever I want
I can leave the bones out if I choose
I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant
but nothing
keeps me from bringing scraps home for you

and nothing compares
nothing compares to you

It's been so lonely without you here
I fill up my time with writing songs
nothing can stop these telemarketers from calling
tell me baby where did I go wrong?
I could put my arms round every cat I see
but they'd only remind me of you
I went to the doctor guess what she told me
guess what she told me
she said girl you better get another one
no matter what you do
but she's a fool

'cause nothing compares
nothing compares to you

With the flowers you're now planted by mother-in-law
in the backyard
I died inside when you went away
I know that living with you, baby, was sometimes hard
but I'm willing to give it another try

nothing compares
nothing compares to you


In this parody, I pronounce his name Man-da-rin to rhyme better with the guitar... I usually pronounce his name Mandrin... ;) Mandarin is probably the most neurotic cat I've ever had... and I love it!

Then My Mandarin Gently Sleeps
Posted 12-08-2010 at 09:43 PM
I look at my son and see that he's creeping
Then my Mandarin gently sleeps
I look at my son from the tv he is leaping
Then my Mandarin gently sleeps

I don't know why nobody told you
how to put away your laundry
In the basket with no soul? You
can't do it alone could you?

I look at my son and I notice he's turning
Still my Mandarin gently sleeps
The more sweet he is the sooner I know he'll be hurling
Then my Mandarin gently sleeps

I don't know how you were diverted
you were alerted too
I don't know how you were inverted
or walked across the hangers too

I look at my son and I see his eyes are weeping
While my Mandarin gently sleeps
I get a phone call
Still my Mandarin gently sleeps

Oh, oh, oh
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah

[Jon]

I LOVE this line!!

" I've learned to live half alive"

[LadyHitchhiker]

Dear Grief is probably my favorite parody I've written so far... but it's much more like poetry so that's why I stuck it here.

I debated with calling it Dear Grief or Dear Death... I guess I'm trying to fight grief right now more than death, because death is natural... and well grief feels anything but.

The eyes inside the soul.. well those are the eyes of the souls trapped in grief, staring out... I think it's kinda poetic.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Parody of Twilight "My Fight"
Haven't hurt this hard in a long time
I better stop now before I start crying
Go and sing you are my sunshine
I don't want to relive the day of him dying
He's a sight to see (sight to see)
He's good to me (good to me)
But I already lost my baby
He's still listening
And he knows everything
But I already lost my baby
You don't deserve to be lonely
But these dreams I have don't make it all better
Pretty soon you'll find it's the only
Little part of your life to keep us together
I'm nice to you
I guess I'll make it through
But I've already lost my baby
You could make me smile
If you stayed a while
But how long will I dream of you, baby?
Because your candle burned too bright
Well I almost forgot about the fight.
I dream of making you alright
But I'm tired of being down, I got no might.
You're wonderful
And you're beautiful
But I've already lost my baby
And if I went with you
I'd disappoint you too
Well I've already lost my baby
Already lost my baby

Here Comes My Son
Here comes my son, here comes my son
and he says it's all right

Little Linus, you're buried and it's winter
Little Linus, it feels like years since you've been here
Here comes my son, here comes my son
and he says it's all right

Little Linus, think of the smiles you bring to faces
Little Linus, it seems like years since you've been here
Here comes my son, here comes my son
and he says it's all right

Son, son, son, here he comes...
Son, son, son, here he comes...
Son, son, son, here he comes...
Son, son, son, here he comes...
Son, son, son, here he comes...

Little Linus, soon the snow will be slowly melting
Little Linus, it seems like years since flowers have appeared
Here comes my son, here comes my son
and he says it's all right
It's all right

[alinda]

:cry:*wipes a sad tear for my friend*

[LadyHitchhiker]

Beauty in Grief (an original poem, no parodying this time for me)
I know I said you could go
but you've visited so much
I know I wasn't ready when I said it so
I yearn for your cry, your touch.
But when I dream
I feel like I'm saying hello and goodbye
I wake up and scream
it's so hard to again say goodbye.
I don't know why you say goodbye so
I say hello.
Hello
the friendliest word that I know.
But when you're gone
I'm not ready for it either
for you to move on..
into the ether.
I am sad when I dream of him
But I am sad when I do not
Giving into him
either way is what I want.
But I see the beauty when I grieve
I see the beauty in the leaves.
I see the beauty that he left inside of me.
The truth is I lied
I'm not ready to say goodbye.
I don't know if I'll ever be ready to say goodbye.

[Jon]

Sometimes it seems like we never are ready to say goodbye despite our words.

[LadyHitchhiker]

She Talks to Angels parody
She Talks to Majel
She never admits to her addiction
Just seeks out company
Yes, she'll tell you he was an orphan
Before he became her family

She keeps her eyes open late at night, now
Don’t wanna sleep unless it’s right
Yeah, she gives a smile when the dreams come
The dream’s gonna make everything alright

Says she talks to Majel,
She calls her out by her name
Oh yeah, she talks to Majel
Says she calls her out by her name

She keeps a whisker in her pocket
And the grief around her neck
Yes, the whisker’s from her little boy
The grief will fade more in time, but not yet

Says she talks to Majel,
Says she knows all her names
Oh yeah, she talks to Majel,
Says she calls her out by name

Says she loves, no cover
Loves more than I’ve seen
Yeah, to her that ain't nothing
But to me, yeah me,
It means everything

She keeps her eyes open late at night, now
Don’t wanna sleep unless it’s right
Yeah, she gives a smile when the dreams come
The dream’s gonna make everything alright

She talks to Majel,
Says she calls her out by her name
Oh yeah-eah-eah, Majel
Calls her out by her name
Oh-ooh-oh-oh Majel
She calls her out by her name
Oh-oh, she talks to Majel
She calls her out
Yeah-eah-eah, she calls her out
Don't you know the kids call her out by her name?

This song is about working through my stuff and wanting my dreams back, and how Majel in her own way tries to make everything right just by crying out "Mom" and she actually says "Mom" when she's not saying MEOW!!!!!! In that volume. LOL

[LadyHitchhiker]

In the Dark (5-16-11)
Love of mine, now that you have died
And left me far behind
I dream of you in the dark
No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just us cuddled, just right
Waiting for the hint of a spark

If Heaven and Hell decide
That at least you and I tried
There will be no wait for you in line
And if there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll stay beside you in the dark

In Catholic school I never knew you
Not yet had I been bruised, wasn't yet the lady in black
And I held my love and I waited you see
Eager to find love
and now I can't go back.

If Heaven and Hell decide
That at least you and I tried
There will be no wait for you in line
And if there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll wait to dream with you in the dark

You and me have seen everything to see
From Michigan to Mississippi
Three vehicles and your body we've worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
'cause we'll hold each other soon
The blackest, and the eyes of blue

If Heaven and Hell decide
That at least you and I tried
There will be no wait for you in line

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll always love you in the dark
Then I'll always love you in the dark

[Jean]

You are good, my love. Good.

what I adore about your poems is that they are meant as songs. It is not easy to make a song, not especially one that remains withing the realm of poetry.

[LadyHitchhiker]

I think it's because music is always in my heart. Thank you for your compliments. It means a lot coming from you. You are a connoisseur of the literary world and the literary words!

[LadyHitchhiker]

B.I.T.C.H. penned 10-13-03 by Liz Young

I saw you the other day
you didn't even bother to say hey
you just looked at me like a cow
and now I wonder how
I fell so very hard
like a deck of cards
well now I see you were the wild card
I hadn't planned for

You Big [BIG!]
Ignorant
Thunderthighed
Cow
Hag
you Big [BIG!]
Ignorant
Thunderthighed
Cow
Hag
Stick your head in a bag
tell me you won't nag
me anymore
and I'll tell you
you're a bigger slut now
than you were before

I saw you the other day
MAN- did you inflate!
and man you look sooo stoned
you wonder why you are alone
you think you've got it hard
well you left me scarred
you think you have a broken heart

You Big [BIG!]
Ignorant
Thunderthighed
Cow
Hag
you Big [BIG!]
Ignorant
Thunderthighed
Cow
Hag
Stick your head in a bag
tell me you won't nag
me anymore
and I'll tell you
you're a bigger slut now
than you were before

I saw you the other day
I think we're better off this way
you were always jealous
but wouldn't admit
your feelings didn't end at friendship
and now I hope you have it hard
I know I didn't see this in the cards
and now you're alone

You Big [BIG!]
Ignorant
Thunderthighed
Cow
Hag
you Big [BIG!]
Ignorant
Thunderthighed
Cow
Hag
Stick your head in a bag
tell me you won't nag
me anymore
and I'll tell you
you're a bigger slut now
than you were before

You wonder why you're alone
no you don't, cause you're too stoned!




[B]The Mike song AKA The Asshole Song (completed 9/14/03 about my emotionally abusive ex-boyfriend)
Let's spend the day together
It's better than promising a forever
I'll purge you from my system.
I'll never want you e'er again.
But it's all a lie I'd be telling myself
to try and finally get over my feelings.
I've loved you for 7 long years
I've shed way too many tears.
I want you in my arms again
I want you to never leave again
BUT YOU'RE A BASTARD
AND YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE
I KNOW YOU DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT ME
YOU JUST WANT MY SEX
YOU JUST WANT MY SEX
MY BEAUTIFUL BREASTS
YOU JUST WANNA NECK
YOU JUST WANT MY SEX
YOU JUST WANT MY SEX
MY BEAUTIFUL BREASTS
YOU JUST WANT TO NECK
You asked me if I loved you -
well, unfortunately I do.
Everytime I think I'm over you,
you have to come over you, don't you?
But it's all a lie
I'd be telling myself
if I finally believed
you'd return my feelings.
I've been craving you for 7 long years
I cried way too many tears
I should be in the arms of other men
I should be kissing other men.
BUT YOU'RE A BASTARD
AND YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE
I KNOW YOU DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT ME
YOU JUST WANT MY SEX
YOU JUST WANT MY SEX
MY BEAUTIFUL BREASTS
YOU JUST WANNA NECK
YOU JUST WANT MY SEX
YOU JUST WANT MY SEX
MY BEAUTIFUL BREASTS
YOU JUST WANT TO NECK
CUZ YOU'RE A BASTARD
AND YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE
A BEAUTIFUL ASSHOLE
A PERFECT ASSHOLE
If I could stop caring I think that I would just do that
If you'd stop staring I might think you'd want me for more than my ass
You think I'll be the solution to all you sexual needs
but honey I've got more important things to feed
than your ego
so you can go
BUT YOU'RE A BASTARD
AND YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE
I KNOW I'VE GOT TO BE OVER YOU
YOU JUST WANT MY SEX
YOU JUST WANT MY SEX
MY BEAUTIFUL BREASTS
YOU JUST WANNA NECK
YOU JUST WANT MY SEX
YOU JUST WANT MY SEX
MY BEAUTIFUL BREASTS
YOU JUST WANT TO NECK
You ask me if I love you
well unfortunately I do
everytime I think I'm over you
you have to come over don't you?

[LadyHitchhiker]

STRONGER WITHOUT YOU - 7/26/03 by Liz Young
Well it turns out that I'm stronger without you in my life
after all you did was sharpen your claws and slash my windpipe
you couldn't handle being there in any which way fashion or shape
and thinking about you makes all the hair stand up on my neck's nape
you were so jealous of everything I did
and now you say you're happy? who do you think you're kid-
ding? you said you'd by my friend for all time
Then you turned around and wouldn't spend with me any of mine.
You pulled away completely, leaving nothing behind but hypocrisy.
Trying to be what your parents want you to be unsuccessfully.
I finally realized how happy I am with my Wally.
He's not jealous and petty, wishing he was me.
He never gets jealous for me being independent and having had the strength to stand on my own two feet.
He doesn't rub in my face how much support he has parentally then complain he doesn't have enough to simply be.
Our love isn't based on jealousy.
Our love is there, solidly.
So it turns out that I'm stronger without you, but that doesn't mean I still don't care.
I guess it just means that we'll not hang out anymore or buy one another underwear.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Light and Dark (5-18-2011)

I wasted eight and a half years with you.
Most of my twenties.
Isn't that enough time to try and help you?
Hasn't that been plenty?!?

After years of oppression
and years of control
I found the depression
and regained my soul.
How strange
to find
that such a change
in my mind
is what I would need
to find the strength to finally be me.

No more of telling me what to do
to tell me everything I do is wrong
of how to clean or how to screw;
From now on I can learn how to be strong.

Now I find love, affirming and real
from people who've always been there
no matter how I feel.
For some reason they still care
despite or because
of who I am
and I find their love.

I thought I knew what love was,
and I gave so much of my self away
I thought I knew what love was,
but despite my delusion, I've found it anyways.

The road still is not one of ease
despite the love I've found
but I can't lie that it doesn't please
me and help me to find ground.

Climbing higher, finding light
and dreaming in the dark
I find the will, the strength to fight
Though on my heart are left the marks.

And once in a while
I feel a smile
that is really me
I can regain me
I can reclaim me
I can be loved for me.


I put the poem about rejecting a friend in favor of Wally directly beside this one, to see the difference in my mind set and yet the similarities... I have to keep in mind who I want to be and what direction I'm going towards.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Moving out, a parody of a lovely Billy Joel song... (5-18-2011)
Wally works in the grocery store
his hobby was to make others feel pain
His wife left a note on the door,
She said,
"Wally, I can't continue to live this way."
Workin' too hard on love can make your
Heart crackcrackcrackcrackcrackcrack
You oughta know right now
Who needs to go home to be attacked?
Or to be told how to spend their money?

And it seems like she lost her mind
"If that's what love's all about
Honey, If that's movin' up then I'm movin' out.
Mmm, I'm movin' out. Ooh-hoo, uh-huh, mmmm"

Her husband is constantly turning up the heat
Complains he doesn't get to see the bartender
He likes to wear his wife's confidence down
On Fairmount Street
Two blocks away from her mother

Yeah and he's complaining that her Chevy ain't a Cadillacacacacacacacac

You oughta know by now
And if he can't lie
Around on his back
He'll say that you didn't remember

And he spends less time on her mind
But if that's what love's all about
"Honey, If that's movin' up then I'm movin' out.
Mmm, I'm movin' out. Ooh-hoo, uh-huh, mmmm"

You should never give a woman a crazy mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mind
You oughta have grown by now
You can pay her back with some overtime
But you could never pay her enough money.

"And if that's what you have in mind
yeah if that's what you're all about
Good luck movin' up 'cause I'm movin' out.
Mmm, I'm movin' out. Ooh-hoo, uh-huh, mmmm

"I'm movin' out..."

[LadyHitchhiker]

Come Sail Away Parody (5-18-11)

I'm wailing away
Saying goodbye to the black eternity
'Cause I've got to be free
Free to face my life and to be me

He calls me the captain
I'm never bored
We'll fight all the sorrows life has in store
And I'll try, oh Lord, I'll try to parry on

I look and I see
All the painful thoughts in my memory
Some angry, some sad
I think of the lost friends and the dreams I had


I said goodbye to forever
I had to go
Before I had grown jaded, bitter, and old
But we'll try best that we can to parry on

A gathering of Angels from dark tower land
They sang to me this song of hope and they understand!

They said, "Come wail away, come wail away, come wail away with me, yeah
Come wail away, come wail away, come wail away with me
Come wail away, come wail away, come wail away with me baby
Come wail away, come wail away, come wail away with me"

I thought that they were Angels, but to my surprise
We climbed aboard their starship, in the Enterprise!

Singing, come wail away, come wail away, come wail away with me, yeah
Come wail away, come wail away, come wail away with me
Come wail away, come wail away, come wail away with me
Come wail away, come wail away, come wail away with me

Come wail away, come wail away, come wail away with me
Come wail away, come wail away, come wail away with me
Come wail away, come wail away, come wail away with me
Come wail away, come wail away, come wail away with me

(this one's bittersweet... a little silly at the end)

[LadyHitchhiker]

Obladi Oblada (in the key of the original Beatles song) (5-18-11)

Wally works in produce in the market place...
Liz works all over the land
Wally says to Liz, "I'd like to hit your face"
And Liz ducks to miss his punching hand

Ob-la-di, ob-la-da, life goes on, brah!...
Lala how the life goes on...
Ob-la-di, ob-la-da, life goes on, brah!...
Lala how the life goes on.


Wally gets a ride to the grocery store
instead of listening to Liz sing
Yells at wifey if dinner isn't waiting at the door
There go the words and they sure do sting
Ob-la-di, ob-la-da, life goes on, brah!...
Lala how the life goes on...
Ob-la-di, ob-la-da, life goes on, brah!...
Lala how the life goes on.

Eight and a half years the house she grew up in she's back
at with a little white dog running in the yard
And she took with her the cats. (Ha ha ha ha ha)

Grumpy ever after the market place...
No one to fear his big fat hands...
Liz loves to talk on the phone, stays at her mom's place
And in the evening, she still works all over the land
Ob-la-di, ob-la-da, life goes on, brah!...
Lala how the life goes on...
Ob-la-di, ob-la-da, life goes on, brah!...
Lala how the life goes on.


Eight and a half years the house she grew up in she's back
at with a little white dog running in the yard
And she took with her the cats. (Ha ha ha ha ha)

Happy ever after away from that place
Liz still gives everyone a hand
Wally stays at his home and drinks until he loses face
And in the evening, he stays there and gets mad.
Ob-la-di, ob-la-da, life goes on, brah!...
Lala how the life goes on...
Ob-la-di, ob-la-da, life goes on, brah!...
Lala how the life goes on.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Piggly Wiggly (in the tune of Eleanor Rigby) (5-18-2011)

Ah, look at all the angry people.
Ah, look at all the angry people.

Piggly Wiggly picks up the pieces where his life has been,
Was it a dream?
Waits for her to show, waiting to berate her the moment she steps through the door.
And why for?

All the angry people.
Where do they all come from?
All the angry people.
Where do they all belong?

His wife is writing the words of a poem that he will never hear
It's perfectly clear.
look at him working. Drinking at night when there's nobody there.
What does he care?

All the angry people.
Where do they all come from?
All the angry people.
Where do they all belong?

Ah, look at all the angry people.
Ah, look at all the angry people.

Piggly Wiggly died and was cursed for his legacy and his name,
nobody came.
Dear little wifey wiping her hands from the dirt of being his slave.
Now she is brave.

All the angry people.
Where do they all come from?
All the angry people.
Where do they all belong?

[LadyHitchhiker]

It Ends Tonight (5-18-11)

You're slowly
strangling me.
I can't explain it to myself at all.
And all my wants
And all my needs
All I want is love, that is all.

I can't keep breathing
My soul is grieving
for the time I should have left you alone.
A weight is lifted
on the evening
that I finally know.

When love turns into fright
It ends tonight
It ends tonight.

My heart's scarred
I fall out of love, into fear again
I can't explain what you won't hear again
The rage appears once again, and then the pain
You look at me with such disdain

I can't keep breathing
My soul is grieving
for the time I should have left you alone.
A weight is lifted
on the evening
that I finally know.

When love turns into fright
It ends tonight
It ends tonight.

My heart is tight, I need some light
It's too late for fright
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

You tell people I've lost my mind.
It's better to be alone than to be by your side.
It's my fault you always lie.
It's better that I see everything about me that you despise.

All these hurts locked inside
And you're the only ones I show

When love turns into fright
It ends tonight
It ends tonight.
My heart is tight, I need some light
It's too late for a fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Tonight
Insight
When love turns into fright
It ends tonight.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Mrs. Black (5-18-11)

I see my red head, and I don't want to be Mrs. Black
I want colors in my world, not to be Mrs. Black
I walk by his bag of clothes
If I stay around them, the Blackness will grow.

I see his brand new car, that belongs to Mr. Black
paid with our savings account, and he'll never pay me back
I see people turn their heads and quickly look away
I go to Econo, and feel it every day.

I look inside myself and see I'm scarred by Mr. Black
I see my red head, and wonder why he'd want Mrs. Black.
Maybe if I work hard enough I can ignore the facts
It's not easy facin' the world when you used to be Mrs. Black.

No more will my green eyes cry from being blue
I could not forsee this happening to me and you.

If I try hard enough I can keep my daughter and my son
We'll laugh together, every mornin' that comes.

I see my red head, and I don't want to be Mrs. Black
I want colors in my world, not to be Mrs. Black
I walk by his bag of clothes
If I stay around them, the Blackness will grow.
Hmm, hmm, hmm,...

I've been tainted, tainted by Mr. Black!
Black as night, black is his soul
I want to see my married named blocked from the sky
I've been tainted, tainted, tainted, tainted by Mr. black
Yeah!

Hmm, hmm, hmm,...

[LadyHitchhiker]

Can't Go to Sleep Without You

I asked you to stay
but your body won't t listen
There's never enough time in the day
My words don't mend
the past that is broken
but when we talk together, I feel it'll all be okay.

Every night I talk to you until it's time to sleep
Thinking of how much you mean to me
And every moment you make less hard.
Let's forget the past

Tell me it's not over tonight
You make me feel that I'm all right
I can't make it without you on the phone at night
I can't go to sleep without you

I dream of your breath, us under my covers
Your voice, that sexy drawl I can't get over
I can't fathom not listening to you every day
We'll have time to talk about what remains unspoken
Our bond grows more each day

Every night I talk to you until it's time to sleep
Thinking of how much you mean to me
And every moment you make less hard.
Let's forget the past

It's not over tonight
You make me feel that I'm all right
I can't make it without you on the phone at night
I can't go to sleep without you


All the things I wanted from love I've never known
Perhaps the worst, is how much time we let go
I'll never let you go

It's not over tonight
You make me feel that I'm all right
I can't make it without you on the phone at night
I can't go to sleep without you

[LadyHitchhiker]

And She Will Be Loved
Beauty queen of 29
She had some trouble with herself
I was always there to help her
We always belonged to someone else.

I'll drive for miles and miles
and wind up at her door
I've dreamed of her so many times but somehow
I want more

I don't mind spending everyday
Talking on the phone at all hours of the day
Look for the girl with the glowing smile
Ask her if she wants to talk a while
And she will be loved
She will be loved

Come show up at my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know my thoughts aren't always pure
But it's you I adore

It's not always dark and light
It's the love in her eyes that moves my along
My love is full and my heart's always open
You can come anytime you want

I don't mind spending everyday
Talking on the phone at all hours of the day
Look for the girl with the glowing smile
Ask her if she wants to talk a while
And she will be loved
She will be loved

I know when you snuck
out to smoke at the bar
love all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means I love you most of all
I'll be there every time that she falls

[LadyHitchhiker]

Yooper Girl, Shake it For Me (5-21-11)
Hey girl, go on now!
You know you've got everybody lookin'

Got a little boom wherever I go
Gonna open up the doors and turn it up
Gonna stomp my boots in the Northwoods snow
Gonna watch you make me fall in love

Get up on the hood of my daddy's tractor
Up on the tool box, it don't matter
Down on the tailgate
Girl I can't wait
To watch you do your thing

Shake it for the young bucks who like to honk
Shake it from dusk ti' dawn
The DJ spinnin' that Yooper song
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon
Shake it for the bear, shake it for the sheep
Shake it for the trout swimmin' down deep in the creek
For the white tail deer, the wolverines and the squirrels
Shake it to the moon, shake it for me girl

Aw, Yooper girl, shake it for me
Girl, shake it for me
Girl, shake it for me
Yooper girl, shake it for me
Girl, shake it for me
Girl, shake it for me

Sombody's sweet little Catholic child
Put a little music on and watch her get a little wild
Pixie do and a pretty smile
Rope me in from a Yooper mile
So come on over here and get in my arms
Spin me around, show off your charm
Tangle me up with your knitting yarn
Yeah, yeah, yeah


Shake it for the young bucks who like to honk
Shake it from dusk ti' dawn
The DJ spinnin' that Yooper song
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon
Shake it for the bear, shake it for the sheep
Shake it for the trout swimmin' down deep in the creek
For the white tail deer, the wolverines and the squirrels
Shake it to the moon, shake it for me girl

Yooper girl, shake it for me
Girl, shake it for me
Girl, shake it for me
Yooper girl, shake it for me
Girl, shake it for me
Girl, shake it for me

Now dance, like a dandelion
In the woods with the ticks underneath the pines
Yeah, move like the gentlest snow
Feel my love drum down deep down in your toes
All I wanna do is get to holdin' you
And get to knowin' you
And get to showin' you
And get to lovin' you
'Fore the night is through
Baby, you know what to do


Shake it for the young bucks who like to honk
Shake it from dusk ti' dawn
The DJ spinnin' that Yooper song
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon
Shake it for the bear, shake it for the sheep
Shake it for the trout swimmin' down deep in the creek
For the white tail deer, the wolverines and the squirrels
Shake it to the moon, shake it for me girl

Aw, Yooper girl, shake it for me
Girl, shake it for me
Girl, shake it for me
Yooper girl, shake it for me
Girl, shake it for me
Girl, shake it for me

Yooper girl, shake it for me
Girl, shake it for me
Girl, shake it for me
Yooper girl, shake it for me
Girl, shake it for me
Girl, shake it for me

[LadyHitchhiker]

5-22-11: The Rapture of Dreams

The rapture did not take me
For some reason the dreams still shake me
A dream where there is no love for me in anyone's heart
A dream where I am torn apart
From bow to stern
And I wonder in my dream why I never did learn
The lesson, when I awoke, that I am worth nothing.

The dreams pass
They never last
THe panic does subside
But every time the dream comes
I feel I die a bit inside.

90 Years (5-22-11)

Suffering the tears
The darkness of 90 years
Looking for light along the way
Trying to flight along the way

FIghting to be me
Fighting to be loved for me
I start to feel more than half alive
Since I left the one who called me his wife

Then the dreams return
They spurn
Me with their very presence
Drill into my very essence
The panic is there
As thick as the air
When the world is enclosed in fog and mist
My subconscious reminding me that something still is amiss

I am done with the whispers
I will save the whiskered
And pray the dreams don't come to me
That I will be left with no one to
Like me for me
Love me for me
To keep calling my phone
to be left so lonely lonely alone
To not wake up to a furry purry face
to wake up feeling I have been replaced.

Suffering the fears
The bleakness of 90 years
Looking for strength along the way
Trying to fight the length of the day
To find me
To reclaim me
And to be loved finally
Just for being me.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Pon Farr (5-26-11)
My face feel raw, sunburned
from the glow in my cheeks.
I have never yearned
this bad, and it has gone on for weeks.
It has taken me so impossibly long to feel remotely close to feeling this way.
When I don't have to deal with things mundane,
I think of you every possible extra second of the day.
It is something that I cannot feign.

It's probably been close to seven years
since I thought I felt this way.
After so many years of heartbreak and tears
it's great to finally find my way.

Now I know how Spock felt
burning for his mate
when the haze over his eyes fell
blood boiling; it was too much for him to take.

It's a want
from my heart, my body, my soul.
It's my want;
I must summon a semblance of control.
It's a desire for you -
for you to be happy.
This fire for you,
has made my life infinitely less crappy.

I was turned off for so long.
Surviving through each day.
Now you've turned me on,
and I daydream all the day.

I dream of your smile
pressed against mine;
crossing the miles
your body pressed against mine.

I dream of the touch of your skin.
Your breath on me.
I dream of living in
the depth of the love you have for me.

How you've waited, so very long
so patient, so respectful, so wonderful...
It must hurt to long so long.
But still you're patient, respectful, wonderful.

Standing on the stage.
Feeling like a teenager
hormones in full rage
Don't worry, we're not in danger.
Even my fantasies... are always found in monogamy.
I was never turned on
just because of this fire inside me.
I was never turned on
just by a pretty face, you see.
This is the first time I've been turned on,
because someone really likes me for me.
You'll have to excuse me,
if the feelings sometimes overwhelm me.

For now I will love, and live, and work and talk
with sunburned glowing face,
a tingling in my extremities as I walk.
You could never be replaced.

[LadyHitchhiker]

I Will Wait For You (5-29-11)

Pesky miles,
our geographical handicap
the only thing that prevents the smiles
from being fully tapped.

But I will wait for you

So many years you've wanted and waited
(and cared for me)
we were obviously fated
(always there for me)
And I will wait for you.

I have a dream of the future
and thoughts sweet but impure
But just know that I will wait for you
I will always wait for you,
of that I am sure.

You're my hero, my awl
My all, my janitor
You pick me up when I fall,
My captain, my commander

You teach me to love to count electric sheep
and not to hate the night, or fear
because every night before I go to sleep
I hear your sexy drawl in my ear
And every morning I awake
to my alarm going off at six
So that next phone call again I can take
It's something I simply cannot miss.

I see lightning and I think of you
Electricity prickling my arms
It's not as frightening when I think of you
And the photos you take.. your charm...

And yes the world still throws a hook or two
But it'll be okay, as long as I have you.

And just know that I will wait for you.

[Jon]

"Pesky miles,
our geographical handicap
the only thing that prevents the smiles
from being fully tapped."

Great opening...captures the reader...tough to not read on.

[LadyHitchhiker]

"Pesky miles,
our geographical handicap
the only thing that prevents the smiles
from being fully tapped."

Great opening...captures the reader...tough to not read on.

Why thank ye sir :huglove:

I'll make it into a song if I can come up with a tune... it definitely has more of a song feeling to it. And then I can sing it for you :)

[LadyHitchhiker]

Candy: 10-25-2009
It doesn't matter how much I have of it
it's never enough.
I roll my body in it
my candy-coated love.
Saccharine support
the only thing that gets me through the day
I build myself a fort.
Sweetness chips at the pain.
Elated
To have found my candy.
Never sated.
Almost randy
for my candy-coated love.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Blood (5-15-2009)

the taste of warm copper pours into my mouth
I lick my fangs
and scream out loud
I offer no thanks
for the cost of living forever
my impulses to which I give in
to always at the edge of my tether
I want to quit
I want to stop
But I need this to subsist
Either way I flop
I succumb
again and again
metallic sweetness on my tongue
again and again
sustaining my essence
Fed, yet empty I lurk away
a shadowy presence
to escape the upcoming brightness of day

[LadyHitchhiker]

Internal bleeding (10-20-2009)
I can't heal if I keep bleeding.
It's internal so you can't see.
I'm bleeding
out my essence
bleeding
out the presence
of me in my life.
The knife
loses feeling
in my hand
as I watch me ooze
back into the land.
The booze
and lack of me
makes me feel
as if I will be
soon whole, reunited.
The fight it
will be soon over.
And now I am much
colder
I've lost my touch.
I didn't realize I could ever bleed this much.

[LadyHitchhiker]

10-21-2009
Doublemint
your minty goodness
fills my mouth. Innint
it great to have something in this mess
of a world that works to help me to not
chew on my lips in stress?
Unfortunately it will probably make my teeth rot
but who really needs teeth
when you can for sure
pay money
to get dentures??????

[LadyHitchhiker]

Hidden (5-24-11)
I hid it so well
This precious Hell
the abuse
I refused
to myself.

There's no one I tell all the darkness to
For I love them too much
If they knew all the darkness I'd been through
they'd be in prison for too heavy a touch

It seems surreal
what I've escaped
To learn to feel
again to tape
up the broken pieces
(where do I start?)
glue up the broken pieces
(where do I start?)
mend all the broken pieces
of my heart.

I hid it so well
this precious hell
I almost did lose
all of myself.

Why is there shame
still inside me?
Is it because I can only blame
myself for not leaving?
Is it because I allowed
all of this to happen; didn't write the right letter?
Is it because I couldn't ever go
and make it better?

I hid it so well
this precious hell
I even hid it
from myself.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Running, Wilted, Yet Hopeful (5-24-11)
I'm wilted.
He's jilted.
I have no preparation
for confrontation:
I feel an inch
of it and I flinch.
I can barely spit out his name.
I was never good at the game.
And now that I fell
I wonder how do I rise from Hell?
How do I look him in the face?
Sure, he didn't leave a trace
of evidence of physical harm;
all he did was use his charm
as a weapon to reel me under his spell.
I never knew that trying would ever be such Hell.

They stood by and watched me fall;
No urge to run, so I had to crawl.
Crawl out of the black hole -
the one that nearly ripped out my soul.
The past is past
and those who were steadfast
supporting me either way,
those are worth the crawl.. at least today.

So many shades of grey
So many words left to say.
So many things I have to hide
and so a bit dies inside.

So much left unsaid
So many thoughts that should be dead,
Circling round and round in my nodes
where they'll stop, who really knows?

This all seems surreal:
to actually be allowed to feel,
to be allowed to think,
and if I wanted to, I could drink.

Before I always felt like running away
but I kept on with my days.
I don't know how this will end
I can't pretend
to know how my life will go
but at least now
that I am gone,
I have the chance to, where I want to go.

[LadyHitchhiker]

The Stand (5-24-11)

Since I know how low you can go
I wont let my anger show
You can't touch me, touch me, that I want you to know
Emotions trickle back, now I'm feeling so much more
You can't touch me, touch me, that I want you to know

Yes I've finally found a reason
to finally refuse
You don't get to use your hands
I don't want the abuse

Yes I've finally found a reason
to finally refuse
You don't get to use your hands
I don't want the abuse

You're always screaming at me
You can't touch me, touch me, that I want you to know
It never bothered you before
Now you stand and plead for more,
You can't touch me, touch me, that I want you to know

Yes I've finally found a reason
to finally refuse
You don't get to use your hands
I don't want the abuse

[LadyHitchhiker]

Asshole (5-27-11)
I will not let you cripple me
I will not let you stifle me
I will not let you steal
or damage
any more pieces of me
I will regain my rage.
I will regain my heart.
I will regain love.
I will take back the cards.
I don't play games with love.
My love is mine to give or revoke freely.

Commanding - You have to be in charge
Demanding - I better do it your way or else
Again, commanding - Yes, Sarge
Manipulating - making me feel bad if I don't help
Honesty - you never gave me
Fidelity - was subjective to you
Comfort - you never gave to me
Patience - was impossible for you
Controlling - how dare I think for myself?
Rudeness - behind their back, because you're too much a coward to insult them to their face.
Unsupportive - how dare you want to watch me make something of myself?
Crudeness - because it's fun to watch me squirm and lose face.
Monogamy - you used for your convenience
Kindness - you used if it got you anything
Happiness - such an inconvenience
Anger - you owned that about everything
Jealousy - you owned about all positive matters of life
Selflessness - something you were devoid
Communication - why would you want to know what goes on in the heart of your wife?
Romance - you were too annoyed
Blaming - It's of course all my fault
Shaming - make me feel bad for being me
Brainwashing - make sure I think "right" about it all
Training - slowly losing each part of me
Using - what can you get from me?
Abusing - isn't it fun to hurt me?
Rape - I better give it to you when you want it, the way you want
Patronizing - you're just doing this because "you love me"
Insulting - you don't like me for who I am, of course you'll taunt
Punishing - again, just doing this because "you love me"
Trust - of course I'm supposed to trust you about everything
Pain - a tool in the game you used
Reality - is what you thrust over me about everything
Rage - a tool to keep me in fear, that you used
Faith - how can you believe in anything when you think the world is there to serve you?
How can you believe in anything when you think the whole world is out to hurt you?
How could I ever believe that I loved you?

Now I have a choice
to love who I want.
I can rejoice
in each day not hearing the taunts
It'll take a while to reset the programming
- Waiting for the other shoe to drop -
and the condemning
- I don't quite believe yet that it's stopped.
Not being punished for what I think or feel.
To be me again... is this real?
It's so surreal
having emotions
Learning to feel
And not worry about repercussions.
I've come a long way
but I still have a long way to go
until it's clear in my head
that I don't have to deal, with the asshole.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Resignation (5-27-11)
I cringe when I hear your name
or when it crosses my lips
So I revert to calling you nicknames
whatever from my mouth slips.
Don't you know I'm not your slave anymore;
Not your dirty little whore?
Don't you know I don't have to be as brave anymore
Or tiptoe across the floor?
After living half a life
for so many years
I've resigned as being your wife;
I'm giving up the tears.


Raw (5-31-11)

He left me raw
on the inside
Not just my heart
but my soul, my mind...

When I was sick I still had to perform
(it's more lubrication)
And forced to watch that sick stuff (the dirtiest stuff) he called porn
(it was part of my station).

There were times it was so painful to go to the bathroom
after he supposedly "loved me"
There were times I thought it easier if he ended up in a tomb
It would have been an easier way out for me.

How I let myself fall into the delusion
slowly boiled towards death
Crazymaking, constant confusion
Losing out of life's precious depth.

Left for dying,
once my soul died until I was dead
I had to start trying;
find the strength to live instead.

Burn the Motherfucking Bed! (5-31-11)
I'm fighting for the bed
I paid for it
I can burn it
I don't want it
If I set the mattress on fire
will the darkness expire
that was cultivated for so many years
Just left angry enough not to have tears
I don't want to remember what happened there
there's no way I can ever sleep there
So if I burn the bed
will the memories finally be dead?

No Vacancy (5-31-11)
Don't worry I won't cry for you.
If there are any tears left,
they would be shed because of the time I wasted with you;
Years that I could have been building up myself
instead of crashing down
And don't worry
I won't tell EVERYONE in town
And don't hurry
to rush back by my side.
There's no room left for you.

No vacancy
states the door on my heart -
at least for you, you see.
To quote from you: "I know it's hard"...
But my love is a gated community.


Letter to the Unworthy (6-6-11)
Thank you.
For showing me what I don't want for my future.
Thank you.
For showing me how to be more sure.
Thank you.
For showing me what I don't want in a relationship.
Thank you.
For putting me through all that shit.
Thank you.
For teaching me so may lessons, quite valid.
Thank you.
For telling me I wasn't tan enough; too pallid.
Thank you.
For asking me to kill myself when I was stricken by grief.
Thank you
for being your self; for giving me enough reasons to leave.

I won't ever say I was sorry.
I was an excellent wife.
I won't ever say I was sorry
that I ended that part of my life.
I won't ever say I was sorry
for giving my all.
I won't ever say I'm sorry
for loving at all.

I won't say "I'll never love again"
because that you didn't take from me.
I never gave up on love completely, and in the end
That's something you'll never take from me.

I'll just say I'm sorry
that you couldn't appreciate what you had.
I'll just say I'm sorry
that you had to be so bad.
I'll just say I'm sorry
for wasting so much love on you
I'll just say I'm sorry
and I won't ever fall again for anyone like you.
I won't ever say I'm sorry
for trying as hard as I did
I'm just sorry
it was you that I tried so hard with.

You were a shitty husband;
I was a wonderful wife.
You are so not worth it
You're so not worthy of being in my life.

[LadyHitchhiker]

I don't know if this one's finished yet
Breathe (6-7-11)
I can breathe
Pretty pretty please
Just leave
So I can breathe

Once upon a time in a galaxy far far away
I was innocent
Hadn’t been hurt yet.
I believed in love lasting and true
But then I didn’t find it
So I settled for you.
Now I’m finding there are men in the world
Who like me for me

And I can breathe
I can breathe
Now that I had to leave
I can breathe

[candy]

you have had a busy day Liz, love that you are getting all your feelings into your poetry at the moment

(although my favourite is candy - for the obvious reasons)

[LadyHitchhiker]

That's one of my favorites of all times for many reasons, including you :huglove:

[LadyHitchhiker]

Salt (6-6-11)
Never so anxious and never so patient.
Since I purged the poison from my system
and took love in instead.
I don't miss being with him.
How strange how quickly the love fades
the loyalty, the dedication
lost are the grey shades
the obligations
Everything is clear as a blue diamond
the one he never gave me.
He critiqued me like Simon
Nothing was good enough you see.
Mean people love meanly
and I am done with that
I mean, now I see this
and I know I can't function with that.
I can't handle two-dimensional angry individuals
in my life.
I wanted a husband, but not an asshole;
but besides all that I was a wonderful wife.
It was something of which I excelled
to care for another, to give
but one should not have to go through hell
in order to learn how to live.
How transparent you are now that I am away.
All the crazy-making, the mind games.
I can now say no, and walk away
and with that I will build up a wall away from the shame.
That illogical shame that lives inside.
Like any of this was my fault?
The salt in my brain
that burned away my boundaries like salt
in an open wound.
I will be stronger than ever before, soon.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Soooooooooo I found a bunch of my old poetry (Yay)

Sad part is I think most of it is shit. Mostly because a lot of it is inspired bullshit from being brainwashed.

A little frustrating... so it might just be new stuff for a while :$

Or at least until I weed out the bullshit out of the 10 notebooks of poetry I have.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Enough (6-13-11)

I'm not compliant enough.

I'm not defiant enough.

I don't walk enough.

I don't talk enough.

I’m not smart enough

I’m not mean enough

I’m not clean enough

I don’t like sex enough.

My boobs aren’t perky enough

I don’t like not having sex enough.

I’m not pretty enough.

My tummy’s not flat enough.

I don’t like porn enough.

My hair’s not shorn enough.

My hair’s not blond enough.

I’m not fond enough.

I’m not petty enough.

I’m not nice enough

I don’t think twice enough

I’m not perfect enough

I’m not kind enough

I don’t empty my mind enough

I’m not girly enough

I’m not tough enough

I’m not dumb enough.

I’m not old enough.

I’m not young enough.

I’m not told enough.

I’m not calm enough.

I’m not tan enough.

I don’t like people enough.

I don’t go to the steeple enough.

I don’t stay away from church enough.

I don’t let myself be left in the lurch enough.

I’m not patient enough.

I’m not fashionable enough.

I’m not impatient enough.

I don’t wear the right shoes enough.

I don’t choose the right things enough.

I don’t drive enough.

I don’t keep quiet enough.

I don’t drive right enough.

I don't love enough.

I don't not love enough.

I don't give space enough.

I don't give too much space enough.

If I am not enough for you to love
Then you are not enough for my love.

I need to be enough for me.
Love is enough for me.

Enough! Enough! Enough!
Enough with me, not being enough, enough, for you.
I need to be enough for those I love, and this I know is true.

[Jean]

Liz, it's a masterpiece.

[LadyHitchhiker]

*jaw drops* Really? I don't even have words to express my appreciation for you, Jean.

[LadyHitchhiker]

It was the most raw and honest exploration of my feelings at the moment and who I think I need to be. I need to start saying enough... Not just giving everything to everyone. Giving to those who are unworthy of being in my life. Fortuantely, there are still a lot of worthy people out there.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Sage (6-19-11)

I believed you loved me.
I believed you would never leave me.
I believed (for a while) you thought no one was above me.
I believed you would be with me for eternity.

I believed in you:
A delusion.
I believed in you:
Sorry, my confusion.
I believed in who I thought you were;
I know now, that I was wrong.
I didn't believe in who you really were,
And so I could not be strong.

I lost almost all I believed in,
but mostly I lost my belief in me.
And when the grief was its least thin
I wished you had just decided to leave me.

People tell me there are two sides of a relationship.
It takes two to make it work, and two to make it fail.
I'm sick of all that bullshit.
I'm letting loose my sails.

I would never have asked you to kill yourself
when you were feeling at your worst.
I would never care about only myself,
or to exchange pet names with a curse.

I would never have asked you to do anything you didn't want to do in bed
(Except when it was good, maybe more to have)
And I would not spend 8.5 years comparing you to my ex-boyfriend -
Even though I should have.

I would never have withdrawn
When I felt that you needed my support.
Now I realize I was just a pawn.
And I had some comfort.
I really really thought you were a sociopath,
So you probably couldn’t help the way you are.
But now you just may be a narcissist ass
And that would mean you made choices to be where you are.

You made the choice to be bad.
You made the choice to be mean.
You made the choice to enjoy me being sad.
You enjoyed making me feel unclean.

And now the journey, the horribly hard journey is before me.
It’s so hard to really think about me, and my interests.
Because to do that, is to be like him; to put anyone else not before me:
It’s the one thing I completely have fought to keep for myself.:
To give, to love, without expecting to receive back
(although sometimes that would be nice)
To stuff the anger down, or at least until I’ve been driven past all logical rational emotional barriers, and blow my stack

To share my anger
Means to me I’m more like him
It’s a stranger
Nothing good has it accomplished.

Anger, secondary emotion
Hiding pain
And other commotion
Inside the heart, the soul, the brain.

I feel I must refrain.
For who am I to act out my rage?
I am him, or I feel him again in my brain.
I want to let him go, be gone from the stage.
I want to be of love, to be loved, to be in love, to love love,
I wish to be sage.

I know that anger is neither negative or positive.
(It’s what you do with it)
But I have not been a witness to it propelling positive reactions
In the last almost decade I’ve lived
Perhaps longer.
But I have to learn to utilize it and let it motivate me to change for the better somehow.
Because only that way will I be stronger.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Thousand Forgivings (6-19-11)

I forgave you once, a thousand times.
I listened to all your shallow lines.
And now that you're gone
you're still on my mind?!?!?

I don't know if there's any forgiveness left in me - Not for you.
Maybe it will come in time, but I'm sorry, it may be true.
Perhaps God can take the darkness from my heart;
leave me filled with light and a new start.

And I'm not sorry to you that I may not find the forgiveness.
I'm sorry for myself.
I want to be able to move forward, not regress.
I want to find strength and love within myself.

I thought I forgave you months ago.
Not really your fault being a sociopath
But the more the time goes
the more unresolved the wrath
is... the more I dig up what you did to me -
That I blocked being in flight or fight response,
trying to survive... kidding me
all of me and trying to make the right response.

I forgave you once, a thousand times.
I listened to all your thousand lies
And now that you're gone
I will no longer try.

I'm done with thousands of forgivings.
I'm going to find a better way of living.

[LadyHitchhiker]

An old one, about suicide, and autumn.

Almost a Dream (10-09-2009)

In a clearing
almost a dream
I stand
barefoot
waiting for absolution
waiting for resolution
waiting for the future

while the world dies
and spins
and falls
and changes
color dwindling
color growing
my decision grows clear

air crisp
toes crinkling through the desolation
wondering why death is so pretty
and rebirth so uniform
waiting for the reincarnation
waiting for the revolution
of season
I still stay here.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Bad Roads (1-3-2010)
The autonomy
of cars
brings my misanthropy
of drivers
the ice covers the roads
and yet fast they go
no turn signals
no warning of movement
they may end up regretful
freezing rain covers the white pavement
skating rink roads ensue
no salt yet to lessen the agonizing plight
and so
I drive in fear.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Mirror (6-8-11)
The inspirational mirror of your eyes
makes the world shine clear;
the whisper of your gentle sighs
hold my heart fast, close, dear.
I see something inside that mirror that I never did before.
I see a door now open; in your eyes I see you adore.
I see a beauty I never knew existed.
I see a light int he darkest coldest tunnels of space.
I see how my worth was always twisted.
Now a nibble, now a taste.
I want to swallow
your love whole.
Before I was hollow
trapped under the thumb of power and control.
Now I realize,
when I look in the mirror,
i see past the abuse and the lies
that left me in terror before.
i see in your eyes so green
the beauty that is there,
and has always been,
and how much you care -
despite or because of me.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Star-crossed Lovers (6-8-11)
The stars envy us
for the intensity
the brightness
of our romance transcending infinity.
We have awaited an eternity
longer and father away
than those same stars boiling in the sky
but still seeing a shimmer, a glimmer of each other's beauty
in the darkest of our nights
the stars envy our proximity,
they burn, boil, and blind with jealousy
there has never been a love quite like this to cross the stretches of eternity
Faces turned into the darkness
seeing each other's gleam of life
the beacon that makes the distance less
make more inconsequential our daily strife
shines brighter than a thousand stars
but sometimes the dark spaces in between are so black
but we have to travel in between the worlds
following love is the only track.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Flirting With Denial (6-16-11)
Grasping at straws
losing my self
not knowing the cause
putting love on the shelf
Instead of pity
I'm understood
but I don't feel any less shitty
or any more good.

Where did I go?
I lost me;
The rhythym to go
the love to just be.

I don't mean to be demanding
but I need more
I try to be understanding
but I need more
(I make no sense)
I worry about someone being enough for me
(I'm so dense)
when I can't be enough for me?

I'm sick of this rollercoaster
this downward spiral
maybe I can get better
if I quit flirting with denial.

[LadyHitchhiker]

7-1-11 Secret Admirer?
Today I saw a man looking at me
REALLY looking at me
It seemed out of his control
as if my beauty and my kindness truly touched his soul
almost with pain, his eyes so tender
that is the look from my partner I've always wanted to render.
i sigh laboriously now while I'm alone
wishing there was a man, with which that much love I could own
See, this man, I know not his name
but it was so refreshing to be appreciated, even if I'm not ready for love games.
I didn't allow myself
to get sucked under his spell.
He caught my eyes, with them, urged me to stay
but I tore my eyes from his, for I had more work to come that day.
Maybe next time I'll feel stronger
and let him look a little longer.

[LadyHitchhiker]

6-30-11 Brand of Cruelty
I knew you were special from the moment I saw you
what I didn't realize, well
is that after I saw you
I'd be up, down, inside out
hanging from the ladder's very top rung
on a rollercoaster, ready to shout
at the top of my lungs.

Every part of me has changed
since we met
I've become even stronger
as of yet.
No one will recognize
me after what you put me through
and all the lies
you'll save and reuse.
(Recycle, reduce, reuse)

I knew you were special
from the moment we met
Didn't realize I'd go through hell
and it's not over yet.
In a few months I can
simply be
free
to be
me.
Free.
From your brand of cruelty.

[LadyHitchhiker]

7-1-11 No Redemption

I thought I was in love with you
once upon a time
I thought I'd found a soul mate true
to truly claim as mine
The time has passed
the feelings faded
I realize you're an ass, a sociopath
but rather than be spurned
I'll take this as a blessing
that I might have finally learned
a might huge lesson
some people just aren't nice
and I don't think I have to mention
more than once or twice
that for some there is no redemption.
I'm not the one to blame
for you being mean
it doesn't make sense to have shame
when you would never let me be me.
I never did anything mean enough
to deserve you cruelty
and now I know it wasn't love,
I can simply be.

[LadyHitchhiker]

7-1-11 Realization
Made bad decisions
once or twice
fought derision
sin and vice.
Walked through fire,
Blood and rain
After all that's transpired
I wait for the pain to fade.

Made a left turn
should have made a right
watch me get spurned
by Aphrodite
cuts me through
just like a knife
Welcome to my
crazy life!

Defeated
I was misunderstood
couldn't make the bad times
into anything good
I'm complicated
but yet still not fated
to being simply jaded
from not being a wife.

if the contract
hadn't already been broken
I'd retract
all the truths written or spoken.
But if you had just been a real man
Tried to understand
Love and not command
Just think of how little would have wrecked my life.

Now I hear that you've become unstable
drink others under the table
and freak out at work.
I can't lie
it makes me feel happy
that you don't try
to feel less crappy.
You reveal that you're a sociopathic jerk.

But I finally learned that it can't all be my fault
and I may have been burned
but I won't keep my heart in a vault.

And I'll save myself
for someone who will cherish
me for myself.
And I'll save myself again for marriage.
Because for me, that is how love is spelled.
That's, to me, how love is really felt.

[LadyHitchhiker]

7-1-11Effort

Enthusiastic
Full
Force
Ostentacious
Romantic
Trial and perhaps triumph
(if you put in enough effort)