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View Full Version : Book Collection: Brick-A-Brack from Jon



Jon
02-09-2009, 07:31 AM
It is cheap and useless, but I love the book so I bought a reader too! (yes, a fool)

http://i239.photobucket.com/albums/ff79/walterodim_photos/2-3-09087.jpg

Jon
02-09-2009, 07:45 AM
I have fond memories behind these two 1st eds signed by Whealan. The copy with the eye is so horribly bound (entire chapters out of place) I bought another.

It was there I met Gunkslinger and Ms. Gunkslinger.


( sorry about the photos, my hands shake. Another issue for elsewhere.)

http://i239.photobucket.com/albums/ff79/walterodim_photos/2-4-09003.jpg



http://i239.photobucket.com/albums/ff79/walterodim_photos/2-4-09004.jpg

Jon
02-09-2009, 07:54 AM
This one is special. It has memories, a history and a friend.

See Mike (Gunky ) hand delivered a copy of The Shinning ( a Viking I think...I didn't have it long) to me. I had him sign it and I buried it in the trunk at Palavercon.
Understand that I respect and think the world of Mike. He is such a right thinking man...I wonder how he lives in a "blue state" without going nuts! So that simple, humble Viking copy was GOLD to me!

I lost it...rather it was taken.

Below is the story. I have put the relevant section in bold, but if you've the time, it is a humorous story of a fellow human being's pain. (and we all love that!)




I had a great time at Palavercon!

But there was fallout. I had planned a trip down the coast... but I am getting ahead of myself.

I had some "personal problems" Saturday night (I'll spare you the details) but lets just say that my "personal problems" Saturday night were pretty bad. I awoke Sunday morn and thought "I'll go to the Con today and have a good time... my "personal problems" cannot get any worse can they?" I went to the Con. Sunday and had a great time. I said my "goodbyes" to all and left. I'll be God damned if my "personal problems" didn't go from bad to MUCH worse. (once again, I'll spare you the details.) I went to Portland Me. and checked into Ramada inn. But I noticed that the sign said "Ramada limited". My instinct said "this is NOT cool." There was trash and high weeds in the parking lot. "Too late now" I thought and I checked in. I carried my bags to the room and noticed a sign on the door that said something to the effect of

"For your safety, make sure you know the person knocking on your door before disengaging the security chain."

I should have known right then. But we got back into the car and toured some of northern Maine. We returned late that night and all seemed fine. I sat up until 3A.M. or so drinking. I was awakened at 6A.M. by a knock at the door and I asked "Who is it?"

"This is Sargent (whoeverthefuck) of the Portland police department, Mr. Gaskill, may I speak with you?"

"Oh shit" I thought "he knows my name."

I glanced at the dresser and quickly counted the empty beer bottles and determined that I had only had nine beers. Therefore, I could NOT have done something that I could NOT remember. I scanned my memory before answering and determined that I had not broken any laws

"Hold on, let me get a shirt on. I said"

Whilst dressing, I realized that I was still quite buzzed... no, the truth is that I was still drunk.

Now dressed, I opened the door, forgetting about the sign telling me to not open the door without knowing who was knocking. A uniformed officer from the Portland police department informed me that my car had been broken into and the window was smashed. He asked me to take inventory and see what was stolen while he filled out a report. I staggered down the hall behind him to my car and found a CD player, a book given me by a great man, Mike…you know as Gunkslinger, and some of my meds missing. I am in almost constant pain without my meds. The book was hand delivered by Gunky, upon my return home, to my horror, I found that I had a copy! I guess it was Karma.
The paperwork done, I began to remove bits of glass from the window frame so that I could drive the car someplace for repairs without glass flying into Shawn's eyes when we were going down the road. About that time my wife came out and saw me removing the broken glass and said "Jon, be careful." I chuckled, because being a man, I knew that no sliver of glass could possibly penetrate my testosterone reinforced skin. Mere moments later I cried out as a sliver miraculously found its way into my left thumb. Being the genius I am, I then grabbed my left thumb with my right hand which caused the other end of the piece of glass in my left thumb to puncture my right middle finger. How the hell am I to drive with only one middle finger now? Wifey and I go back into the room and call my insurance company, a waste of time might I add. Two hours later, and thanks to Lee Press-on nails, (we didn't have any tweezers) the sliver of glass was removed from my left thumb. Now we were left with the daunting task of finding someone to replace the window... today. Not an east task at 8A.M. Well we made an appointment with an auto glass place for 2P.M. I thought about making reservations for a tour of a bay but that would mean leaving my car, with no back window, in a parking garage. We hung out in the lobby of Portland Glass for... an eternity it seemed. At 3P.M. our car was done. (for about $200) We then ran south along the coast of Maine from there, stopping at a few parks and a lighthouse, with what little was left of the day. Then to a Howard Johnson's in Connecticut early in the next A.M.. I popped an Ambien and had a couple of beers that night. The next morn, we packed up the car, paid $2.45 a gallon for gas and headed for Indiana. The travel was mostly unremarkable except that in Indiana, gas was $2.08 a gallon. We got home and unloaded the car. I went to put the car into the garage and... low and behold the garage door would only raise a couple of feet then go back down. I went in the service door and attempted to fix it. (After all, being a man, I knew that no automatic garage door opener could malfunction if I was staring at it.) I gave up on the door opener and disconnected it. Whilst raising it manually, I managed to knock it off track. But I did get it up, then down.

Well, I went inside, did some shit and went to bed about 3A.M. The next morn I was missing my dogs and cat and I decided to go get them. You must understand at this point, that I also have an older car that I do not drive much, maybe two or three times a month. Being that I am a smart man, I decided that I would take the older car to pick up the animals. This older car has leather seats. It is much easier to clean animal fur from these leather seats in this older car than it is the cloth seats in my new car. (Besides, I am a man, and no amount of animal fur would dare stick to these "testosterone reinforced" leather seats.)

When I open the door to this older car, a gut wrenching stench slaps me in the face. Something, (a mouse?) has died inside this car. I go to my work truck and get a trash bag, rubber gloves, a respirator, and a flashlight. I find nothing! Then I get a can of Lysol and spray the piss out of the car. I roll all the windows down and drive like a bat out of Hell to get my pets. On the way, of course, it starts to rain. I decide to roll the windows halfway up because I am a man, and no damned raindrop would dare enter the half rolled up, testosterone reinforced windows. But one window decided that this was the time to malfunction. And which window was that you ask. Well it was the driver's window of course. I got soaked, got the pets and went back home. Nothing like the smell of wet dog!




I am considering, in Mike's honor, giving this copy away.





http://i239.photobucket.com/albums/ff79/walterodim_photos/2-4-09006.jpg

Patrick
02-09-2009, 05:07 PM
Wow, Jon, what a story!

NeedfulKings
02-09-2009, 09:11 PM
Great story, Jon!

I suggest that you keep the book. There's some karma in there. :)

herbertwest
02-10-2009, 12:13 PM
There are sometimes REALLY CRAPPY DAYS! I experienced one the last time I came back from Scotland..

Glad that in the end everything was fine and that there were no real harm or anything.
Nice book!

Jon
02-11-2009, 12:44 AM
The odd thing is that i have a rule when traveling; no staying in city limits...I broke that rule twice on this trip; in Portland, Me. (and paid for it) and in Bridgeport Ct.

Jon
03-15-2009, 05:44 AM
I had a great time at Palavercon!

But there was fallout. I had planned a trip down the coast... but I am getting ahead of myself.

I had some "personal problems" Saturday night (I'll spare you the details) but lets just say that my "personal problems" Saturday night were pretty bad. I awoke Sunday morn and thought "I'll go to the Con today and have a good time... my "personal problems" cannot get any worse can they?" I went to the Con. Sunday and had a great time. I said my "goodbyes" to all and left. I'll be God damned if my "personal problems" didn't go from bad to MUCH worse. (once again, I'll spare you the details.) I went to Portland Me. and checked into Ramada inn. But I noticed that the sign said "Ramada limited". My instinct said "this is NOT cool." There was trash and high weeds in the parking lot. "Too late now" I thought and I checked in. I carried my bags to the room and notced a sign on the door that said something to the effect of

"For your safety, make sure you know the person knocking on your door before disengaging the security chain."

I should have known right then. But we got back into the car and toured some of northern Maine. We returned late that night and all seemed fine. I sat up until 3A.M. or so drinking. I was awakened at 6A.M. by a knock at the door and I asked "Who is it?"

"This is Sargent (whoeverthefuck) of the Portland police department, Mr. Gaskill, may I speak with you?"

"Oh shit" I thought "he knows my name."

I glanced at the dresser and quickly counted the empty beer bottles and determined that I had only had nine beers. Therefore, I could NOT have done something that I could NOT remember. I scanned my memory before answering and determined that I had not broken any laws

"Hold on, let me get a shirt on. I said"

Whilst dressing, I realized that I was still quite buzzed... no, the truth is that I was still drunk.

Now dressed, I opened the door, forgetting about the sign telling me to not open the door without knowing who was knocking. A uniformed officer from the Portland police department informed me that my car had been broken into and the window was smashed. He asked me to take inventory and see what was stolen while he filled out a report. I staggered down the hall behind him to my car and found a CD player, a book given me by a great man, Mike…you know as Gunkslinger, and some of my meds missing. I am in almost constant pain without my meds. The book was hand delivered by Gunky, upon my return home, to my horror, I found that I had a copy! I guess it was Karma.
The paperwork done, I began to remove bits of glass from the window frame so that I could drive the car someplace for repairs without glass flying into Shawn's eyes when we were going down the road. About that time my wife came out and saw me removing the broken glass and said "Jon, be careful." I chuckled, because being a man, I knew that no sliver of glass could possibly penetrate my testosterone reinforced skin. Mere moments later I cried out as a sliver miraculously found its way into my left thumb. Being the genius I am, I then grabbed my left thumb with my right hand which caused the other end of the piece of glass in my left thumb to puncture my right middle finger. How the hell am I to drive with only one middle finger now? Wifey and I go back into the room and call my insurance company, a waste of time might I add. Two hours later, and thanks to Lee Press-on nails, (we didn't have any tweezers) the sliver of glass was removed from my left thumb. Now we were left with the daunting task of finding someone to replace the window... today. Not an east task at 8A.M. Well we made an appointment with an auto glass place for 2P.M. I thought about making reservations for a tour of a bay but that would mean leaving my car, with no back window, in a parking garage. We hung out in the lobby of Portland Glass for... an eternity it seemed.









I just broke the exact same window!!!!:pullhair:


I have achieved TRUE redneck status. I went to pull a tree down with my car. I tied one end of the rope around the base of the rotted tree. I then rolled down the driver's window and the window behind the driver and tied the other end of the rope around the "B" post of the car. Well... the rope snapped, lashed back and shattered my back, driver's side window! $700 is the estimate.

Patrick
03-15-2009, 06:42 PM
:doh: