Nanowrimo

[Darkthoughts]

Has anyone done this? Heard of this? I think the forums open in October.
http://www.nanowrimo.org/
Its not fanfiction, its an annual writing challenge where for the month of November only, you have to try and write a novel - anything you like, 50,000 words long. I think they pick winners and stuff and theres a chance to read people's finished entries. I'd not heard of it until early this year, but I think I might give it a go.

[Steve]

I have heard of it, but I haven't ever entered. Good luck with it.

[Mike Beck]

our boy shannon used to be into this shiz. i always get excited to try it and then i don't ever write anything. sucks. i'd like to try again, though.

[Darkthoughts]

i always get excited to try it and then i don't ever write anything.

That could be me to the letter, but between now and then I'm pretending to get motivated :D

[Mike Beck]

i'll work on it too. :)

i hate trying to find motivation.

[PedroPáramo]

Bad luck I only write on spanish, anyway my novel is 85.346 words until the moment...and it's only the first draft! :lol:
At least that's what Micrisoft Word says...
Maybe he could be cheating me.

[sarah]

I think blake is all over this

[BlakeMP]

That I am. :)

I've done it twice, and "won" both times. In fact, I posted my 2005 NaNoNovel as my annual Christmas story at my website. If anyone's interested...

Long November Part One (http://members.cox.net/blakept/november.html)
Long November Part Two (http://members.cox.net/blakept/november2.html)
Long November Part Three (http://members.cox.net/blakept/november3.html)

I originally was serializing the 2006 novel, The Book of Lisimba, but I never finished posting it, and now I realize that I'm going to go back and do a major revision of the whole thing, as the "novel" I wrote for NaNoWriMo is actually going to be the first part of a longer novel, probably with a different title.

I have every intention of participating again this year, incumbent upon me coming up with an idea. :D

[Hannah]

I've done this for a couple of years. I never actually finished it though. I got close to 30,000 words each time. I really like the challenge though. I'm planning on doing it again this year.

[Darkthoughts]

Cool! I'll read those when I get a moment...do you have any problems with plagiarism?

Hannah - was it a case of losing your flow, or not having enough time to get to 50,000 words?

[Mattrick]

Bad luck I only write on spanish, anyway my novel is 85.346 words until the moment...and it's only the first draft! :lol:
At least that's what Micrisoft Word says...
Maybe he could be cheating me.

My first draft is at 116, 258. I'd like to do NaNoWriMo but it's very time consuming. 50,000 words is approximately 100 pages. I suppose if I'm done my current project I can participate in it.

[BlakeMP]

Cool! I'll read those when I get a moment...do you have any problems with plagiarism?


Morally, yes. :D

But if you're asking if anyone has tried to plagarize my stuff, not to my knowledge. Between the copyrights on the page and the number of witnesses (including about half the people on this website) who could testify to when my stuff was posted, it'd be tough for anyone to get away with it.

[Darkthoughts]

:lol: Yes, I meant people plagiarizing you.

[Hannah]

Cool! I'll read those when I get a moment...do you have any problems with plagiarism?

Hannah - was it a case of losing your flow, or not having enough time to get to 50,000 words?

I'm lame, I just saw this.

It really was a case of it kind of puttering out around the end - like the last week or two. I'd go strong and then lose interest. I think part of my problem was not knowing where my story was going. I never planned anything out I just started writing and let the story take me and then it just ... stopped coming to me. Do you know what I mean?

[Darkthoughts]

I totally know what you mean - I'm the Queen of unfinished projects :D I once read that Douglas Adams had to literally be locked in his office in order for him to meet deadlines/finish manuscripts...hes my idol :lol:

[Mattrick]

I never planned anything out I just started writing and let the story take me and then it just ... stopped coming to me. Do you know what I mean?


Happened to me. Wrote 60 pages, left it for nine months. Then I wrote 150 in three months and have wrote 3 pages in the last 1 1/2. I need the last bit to be very intense. Not sure how to do it.

[Steve]

There's always opium.

[Darkthoughts]

:lol:

[Mattrick]

There's always opium.

I think Acid or Mushrooms would be much more apropos. Sleeping during my trip won't help me at all :orely:

[Frunobulax]

Maybe acid, mushrooms, and a little heroin?

[Jean]

::cough cough::

maybe a different thread could be more appropriate for this new unexpected turn the conversation is taking

::cough cough::

[OchrisO]

::cough cough::

maybe a different thread could be more appropriate for this new unexpected turn the conversation is taking

::cough cough::


"For art to exist, for any sort of aesthetic activity or perception to exist, a certain physiological precondition is indispensable: intoxication." - Friedrich Nietzsche

:laugh:

[Mattrick]

I've tried writing on coke like Stephen King, it isn't that great. I find I can write best with a nice joint and a couple of beers.

Fruno, are you trying to kill me? May as well ask me to speedball.

[BlakeMP]

Got my idea. :)

Despite having a two night classes and a major portfolio project due in November, I'm giving it the ol' college try.

[Darkthoughts]

Yep, I'm on there too - I'm "Shadowself" if anyone wants to nanomail me :D

I have a vague idea of what I'm going to do. My character has been floating around in my head for years, along with a loose plotline. I don't want to brain storm on it too much yet, just to see if it all starts to flow once I get going in November.

I'm glad you bumped this thread Blake - I was meaning to post in here but kept forgetting. Just to say really, that if anyone is nano-ing we can always brain storm and ask advice etc in here...the nano board is still a little slow at times.

[Hannah]

I'm ready for this. This'll be my third year attempting to write 50,000 words in a month. I always put a counter in my sig the last two years, I think I'll do that again this year.

[BlakeMP]

No problem. :)

I mentioned this elsewhere, but I wanted to bring it up here, too. Anybody else here a fan of Podiobooks.com? I'm seriously considering, after NaNoWriMo is over, trying to submit this year's book as an audio novel. Would anyone listen to such a thing?

[Steve]

If it were any good, I would.

[BlakeMP]

That's one. :)

It really all depends on how happy I am with the book when it's done...

[Jean]

two
http://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k291/mishemplushem/Facilitation/0134-bear.gif

[Darkthoughts]

The first is fast approaching!!! What genres are you going for? Whats the general gist of your story?

I'm going for fantasy, although its probably more fantasy/horror. Its about a young woman who had an imaginary friend as a child, that turns out not to be a figment of her imagination after all. Thats an extremely brief synopsis :lol: I'm trying not to think about it too much though as I just want to write and see what happens.

[BlakeMP]

Mine is going to be a sort of fantasy/horror too. I'll give you the "high concept."

What if Dorothy came home from Oz, only to discover that while she was gone, Kansas had been overrun by the undead?

[Darkthoughts]

OMFG! I can't wait to read that Blake - thats cool :D

[BlakeMP]

Me neither. :D

[BlakeMP]

The firing gun went off at midnight.

The traditionalist in me wanted to stay up past midnight and start writing then and there, but the teacher in me that has to wake up at 5 o'clock in the morning couldn't afford to stay up that late. I hoped to get a little work done before I went to school this morning. As it turned out, I never made it -- woke up sick to my stomach and called in sick.

I slept until 10 o'clock, then when I woke up I was feeling better. I managed to get some writing done. I'm stopping for tonight at 2905 words. Not bad for a couple of hours.

[Hannah]

I almost forgot about this. I wonder if I have time to write my words right now.... or at least write a little something.

[Darkthoughts]

I'm going to write some more when I've checked out the board - but heres what I've done so far...

1.

You can call me B. They say theres power in knowing a person's name and they, for once, would be right. Just not in the way they might think.

I am aware that people think I am strange. Especially were they to meet me at a moment like this - scraping a dead rabbit off the road into a bin bag.

A girl at college thought I was using the entrails to divine the future. Thats ridiculous. I wasn't brought up to know things like that.

Bog, however is different. I feed Bog the entrails and he divines the future for me.


2.

I cycle the short distance home, the still warm lump in the bin bag banging against my leg as I pedal. Yes, it is gross. Its not how I'd chose to spend my time given the choice. I'd much rather be down the pub talking shite with my friends. But I have more pressing matters to attend these days. Its imperative I stay one step ahead of the game, knowing the future is a survival tactic.

I'm not being a drama queen, though I'd certainly forgive you for thinking it. It's just the way things are. You'll appreciate this in time.

We live in an old farmhouse, its not exactly the middle of nowhere - its inbetween a small town and a village, each about five miles away in opposite directions. We, being me, my Mum and my brother. My Dad is...well...lets just say he's not here for now. Oh and Bog lives, to some degree, "here" too - I'm coming to that.

My Mum works in town. She runs a small shop that sells "weird things for weird people" as my brother says. What he means is, its what you'd probably call a New Age shop - crystals, essential oils, tarot cards and general bric-a-brac. She's out most days 'til about six o clock, so the fact that I'm bunking off college and getting upto, well, mischief? Is not concerning her right now, being that shes oblivious to it.
My brother is at school. He's fourteen and as generally annoying and nosy as fourteen year old brothers are. He knows something is going on, but I've managed to keep him out of it thus far.


I stick my bike and the bin bag in the shed and walk in through the back door. I'm quite hungry, so I'm going to wash my hands and have a snack before I go anywhere near Bog. Its not his real name. His real name, or at least what he calls himself, is totally unpronounceable by the likes of you or me. As it is his English is quite archaic. I call him Bog because he stinks...like a bog! He's not too bad when he's in his dormant form - a smell thats a background scent easily covered by the incense sticks I burn. They also have the added effect of keeping my brother at bay as he can't stand them. But when Bog assumes his other form, which he must do to perform such tasks as I frequently ask of him, he smells of something wet and rotten and...i don't know, in a film I love theres a "Bog of Eternal Stench" and thats exactly what I think of when I smell this malodorous odor.

When I'm done I collect the rabbit. I don't need to prepare it in any way, Bog is not a fussy eater! I take it upstairs to my room, lock the door - its never a bad idea to take precautions - and waft the rabbit carcass around the underneath of my bed. Bog emerges.

In this form Bog looks like a small puddle of slime. You know that stuff you get in pots as a kid, you stick your fingers in and it makes an amusing fart noise. He looks like that, a greeny-brown blob of slime. He's the size of an avarage cat. He has a mouth and eyes that appear as no more than holes and a slit in the ooze. He's not entirely disgusting though, I don't mean to give you that impression. He's quite...no, I can't stretch to cute, but endearing in his own way.

I dangle the rabbit just above his head, and crude arms reach out of the blob that is Bog, and stuff it uncerimoniously into his gaping mouth...did I really call him endearing? He eats the flesh and fur alike, but spits out the bones onto the bare wooden floorboards. At this precise moment he begins to smoke. At this precise moment I rush to open the windows. He starts to smoke and a sizzling, bubbling noise can be heard. He begins to elongate, curving upwards like a cobra being charmed from its basket. its hard to see entirely what happens because of the smoke (which is also the source of the stench as far as I can tell) but this is the way it happens every time. And when it is done Bog is an entirely more impressive creature.

He looks like a Chinese dragon to me. His head is small and almost cartoon like, with fiercely intelligent eyes, brows fringed with tufts of golden hair. His snout is long in that almost equine way typical to illustrations of Chinese dragons, with flaring nostrils and a beard of that same golden hair, growing from the underside of his jaw. He is still greenish brown in colour, but now scaly rather than slimy. I am not sure whether this is Bog's true form, or just something he's assimilated from my imagination. I think this only because at times when I've been ill or drunk or otherwise distracted, he's shimmered and even shifted shape momentarily.

Bog studies the bones and then he speaks. He communicates to me telepathically. I gathered this two ways. Firstly and obviously, because his mouth does not move when he is talking. And secondly because I've known of instances when my brother has been right outside my door and hasn't heard him.

You may think it strange that I didn't instantly recognise that Bog was speaking to me in this way, but that is presumably because you've never experienced telepathy. If you are adept, or the person transmitting to you is adept, then the voice is as clear as if they were speaking out loud and standing infront of you. When I first encountered Bog, I was also encountering telepathy for the first time. Hence my confusion.
I'd welcome amy comments, its the first time I've written in this way for a loooong time!

[BlakeMP]

Today I landed on the white, sandy beaches of 4,735 words. Tomorrow's goal is gonna be 6,400.

A brief excerpt:


Skip had never realized how sweet the air of Ezzix was until he accepted he was breathing it perhaps for the last time. It wasn’t sweet in a metaphorical sense, either, not in the way that his grandfather often talked about the sweetness in the town before the car factory came to town and started belching smoke into the air. Each breath of Ezzix air carried on it a different sweet fragrance – honeysuckle with one breath, then a hint of peppermint, then a warm cake baking in the oven. He stood by the familiar Wisdom Well, ready to ride down the bucket he was almost too big for, and he wondered once again how he had never noticed the changing aroma before. In a place of so much magic, this small one had somehow escaped him. He took one last breath – pumpkin pie with whipped cream – climbed into the bucket, and began his descent.

[Ikilledthecrimsonking]

wheres storyslinger this sounds like his cup of tea

[Storyslinger]

I was waiting til I finished what I was working on for it

[BlakeMP]

Tougher today, both in writing and finding the time to write, but I ended at 16,684. Tomorrow I'll be shooting for 18,400.

Excerpt? Excerpt. S'alright? S'alright.

On the other side of the painting was an all-too familiar mountain, and spilling out of a cavern at its base, an army of Draugr. A general-type figure with a long, heavy beard that made Skip think of Glammir stood at the forefront of the army, a heavy two-handed broadsword held aloft in just one hand, pointed forward as if leading the charge. Behind him were thousands and thousands of Draugr, those noiseless soldiers that could almost pass for human if not for their mottled gray skin and dead eyes. They each had a weapon too – a few swords, but most of them wielded heavy axes, double-bladed, ready to chop an enemy whether they were swinging the axe forward or bringing it back again. Each of the Draugr warriors in the painting, Glammir included, had a shining pair of long-bladed steel scissors dangling from its belt.

[BlakeMP]

Took me a long time to get started, but I finished at 20,374 tonight. I keep coming up with great story beats -- I've just got to make sure they all wind up fitting together.

Excerpt du jour:
Inside the chest, shambling up the slope of the tunnel, was a small creature that could pass for a common white mouse from Earth, were it not for the red sash around its side, the helmet it worse, and the opposable thumbs on all four paws. Its tail, three times longer than its body, was wrapped around a piece of parchment, which it held out towards Scott.
“Thanks,” Scott said, petting the Messenger Mouse on the head. It was customary to tip the carriers from the Royal House of Ezzix with a small portion of food, but he didn’t have anything in his room but a roll of increasingly fuzzy Lifesavers in his pocket. He popped a grape flavored candy from the roll and held it out to the Mouse, who took it gratefully.

[BlakeMP]

I'm ending the day at 46,109 words, less than 4,000 shy of the 50k finish line. I feel good. Nothing short of having my hands chewed off by zombies will stop me from hitting the big 5-0-comma-0-0-0 on time. At the same time, though, it's very clear that this story will not be over in just 4,000 more words. I'm not entirely sure how long the book will be once I'm done -- probably between 60 and 70k, maybe a bit more. But however long it is, however long it takes me, I'll be sure to let you guys know when I get there.

Want an excerpt from today's work? Of course you do.
Skip was still making the same mistakes he made in practice, though – aiming at his opponent’s body rather than his blade. He wasn’t going to disarm them that way. Knick quickly wrested Petrus’s foil from his hands and raced past him into the sunlight. The referee blew his horn to signal another player eliminated from the game, but Knick wasn’t paying attention at this point. He dove into Skip’s fight, taking one of the two Gold Team players off his young charge. His plan was actually to dispatch his own opponent quickly and then help Skip take care of the last man standing, but no one was more astonished than he was when Skip easily flipped away the blade of a single opponent. By the time the trumpet blared, he had already covered half the distance to the gateway. The Gold Team member and Knick both looked back at the gate, both realizing instantly what was about to happen.

[Steve]

I won't tackle Nanowrimo till next year. I'm working on an entry for the Flannery O'Connor Award for Fiction--a collection of novellas in the Southern Gothic vein.

[Darkthoughts]

I'm on about 3000 words - totally lost my discipline. But on the other hand I really like my story, I'm getting new ideas for it all the time, so I will continue.

[BlakeMP]

Good on ya! Keep it going! :)

[Mattrick]

On the NaNoWriMo site it says 175 page (50,000 word) but that math doesn't add up. Part one of my novel is 65 pages and is 36,618 words. It confuses me.

[Steve]

Might be a spacing issue. Check the guidelines, dude.

[BlakeMP]

On the NaNoWriMo site it says 175 page (50,000 word) but that math doesn't add up. Part one of my novel is 65 pages and is 36,618 words. It confuses me.

It all depends on your font, size, spacing, margins, etc. That's why the final count goes by word number instead of page number -- far more objective.

[BlakeMP]

Tonight, I staggered wearily across the NaNoWriMo finish line of 50,000 words. In fact, I overshot it a bit -- my ending count tonight was 50,720 words. I made it again, that's three years in a row. But I'm not done yet. I've still got a good bit of story to go -- maybe about 10,000 words, maybe more. And in the immortal words of Kermit the Frog, "I'm not gonna stop 'till I get to the top." I'll keep you all appraised.

[Mattrick]

I remember when I went on a writing kick, last spring. Wrote about 60,000 words in about two months. My right hand (I'm right handed) was broken and I type a majority of it with my left hand. Wasn't much I could do with a broken hand so I just wrote and wrote and wrote.

[Jon]

My son is absolutely consumed by this every year!

[Steve]

How's that working out for him, Jon?

[Hannah]

Anyone participating this year? :scared:

[Bev Vincent]

Not officially -- I've done it twice officially over the past few years. I'm just embarking on a new novel, but I expect some things to come along that will keep me from setting that kind of pace, so I didn't sign up and I'm not keeping tally.

It's a neat experience, though.

[Hannah]

I'm going to try to do it this year. If the other two years I participated are any example though, I usually only get half - two thirds of the 50,000 word goal.

I'm at 547 words right now! :shoot:

[Bev Vincent]

I find it helps a lot if you have an outline. That way you know day by day where you're headed and don't spend a lot of time dithering over the plot. I don't write to an outline normally, but for NaNoWriMo I make an exception.

[Hannah]

That's a good idea. I haven't tried it with an outline yet.

[Darkthoughts]

I've been getting nano emails, I might give it another bash...I did abysmally last year :doh:

[Hannah]

If you do decide to do it - do you want to put your word count in your sig? I'll be doing the same and it's kind of a motivating factor.

[Darkthoughts]

That's a cool idea...is there somewhere you can generate one of those cool count-y banner type things?

[Hannah]

Maybe at the nanowrimo site? I think they might have had one there ...

[Bev Vincent]

http://picometer.writertopia.com/words=1000&target=72000

Here's the one I usually use

[Hannah]

Bev do you have a link for the counter? :)

[Bev Vincent]

http://picometer.writertopia.com/words=1000&target=72000

[Steve]

I'm actually competing this year... and I've been writing something that looks like William Faulkner on a crank binge. I'm up to 17,000 words... come on come on come ON!

[RolandStageDive]

I've only won this competition once, but you can bet I'll keep trying every year. I look forward to seeing some of you folks there. I have good friends in the NaNo chat, who accept me back every year XP

[arrawyn]

Hey,

Just curious who here is going to be taking part this year (November?).

I just signed up for it (my first time!) and am excited! i have a decent story outline worked out (i think...) so hopefully i'll be able to complete it in the 30 days!

[candy]

hi aarawyn, i probabley will do this again I did it last year, but was not happy with the final draft or story line, so will probabley try again with a new story

Its hard work, i had to get hubbie behind me as i literally came home, ate, wrote and went to bed - but the sense of achievement was fantastic

[arrawyn]

hi aarawyn, i probabley will do this again I did it last year, but was not happy with the final draft or story line, so will probabley try again with a new story

Its hard work, i had to get hubbie behind me as i literally came home, ate, wrote and went to bed - but the sense of achievement was fantastic

wow that's great! so you completed it? that's awesome! (even though you didn't think the story line wasn't great). if you don't mind me asking...what was your story about last year?

the good thing about it being in November is hubby is going to be away for a week and a bit so i'll get time to myself to write (and i'm also thinking of taking some vacation time too) but i will still have to walk the dog and stuff... (when hubby's away). i've worked out i'll only have to write about at least 1,700 a day if i write every day, so that doesn't seem TOO daunting!

Well, if you do do it this year we can support each other on here! (and if more people on here are going to take part this thread can be a support/ranting thread to help get us through!)

[candy]

it was about morals of time travel and whether it was right to change anything even bad things. It started ok but then couldnt decide if it was a sci fi, a spy book or a murder mystery. :lol:

its still there ready to be edited, but i need some motivation to get back to it

The way i looked at it, was i made myself do 5000 words saturday and sunday and then made the rest up in the week. There was a thread for last years and a few people got behind it. I shall see if i can hunt it down

[arrawyn]

that sounds like a really cool/interesting idea for a story! you should try and get back to editing it sounds like it has great potential!

i only work a 4 day week so I have 3 day weekends, which would be great for just sitting down and writing all day. However, i'm planning on taking an online course in the fall (sept to Dec) that requires assignments to be done with the use of a computer lab downtown tha has a special application required to do the assignments so i'd be spending probably one my weekend days down there working on the course work :(.

so it might be a bit more challenging with doing a course, and work but... i guess that's the fun of it? :wtf:

[Jack Torrance]

Hey,

Just curious who here is going to be taking part this year (November?).

I just signed up for it (my first time!) and am excited! i have a decent story outline worked out (i think...) so hopefully i'll be able to complete it in the 30 days!

I did something similar to this a year or so ago. I still have the calender.
It was quite an experience, and a great way to write a novel. What helped me with it was a week or so before I started this, I went through my days as normal except I narrated everything I did and things that I observed. It helped me get in the mindset of writing a novel and guided me through parts of the novel where you needed to have filler material.

I wish you all the best luck. You will not regret it.

[arrawyn]

Hi Jack,

Thanks for this advice! it does sound like a great way to get your brain working in novel-writing mode!

thanks for the good luck too :D

[Hannah]

I've done it every year since 2006, so this'll be my fifth year doing it. I've never finished it. It seems like I always start out really strong and then peter off towards the last two weeks of the month. Every year I tell myself I'm going to finish it, and every year I don't. I have four half-finished novels laying around on my hard drive.

[arrawyn]

hannah - cool! well, i bet thats more half-finished novels than most people out there! :). better to have something than nothing - and it's a starting point - you can always finish them later :)

LOL @ your signature! :D

[DoctorDodge]

Pssh, no way i'm doing this, i've still yet to finish the novel i started two years ago! And before anyone asks, it's not because it's one of the biggest and most epically epics ever written, but because I'm lazy. Still, maybe aiming to finish it in a month is a good idea. No more excuses, no more lazy days. I've got a couple of months without having to worry about college coming up. Maybe it's time to get it finished once and for all. I don't know. One thing I do know: unlike a lot of stories i've worked on, which start with writing a few pages and then forgetting about them completely, this one i do intend to finish. Over seventy pages in so far, and whilst it's not much, it's better than my other novel beginnings! :lol:

[candy]

the good thing about the NANo month is that i makes you move onwards with the story, so if you get stuck on a part you worry it to death you just move the story along. Then (apparantley) you are supposed to come back and edit and revamp the bits you didnt like the first time around. WHich is were i had a Hugae FAIL!!!

[Jack Torrance]

I've done it every year since 2006, so this'll be my fifth year doing it. I've never finished it. It seems like I always start out really strong and then peter off towards the last two weeks of the month. Every year I tell myself I'm going to finish it, and every year I don't. I have four half-finished novels laying around on my hard drive.

See an important key to this system is communication between friends and family. You want everyone to know you are writing before you actually start writing. That was what really helped me to finish. Trust me I feel you, I had the same struggles as you. I hope you will participate this year and not be discouraged. I will be available for you and anyone else that would like to communicate their thoughts and ideas about writing.

[arrawyn]

Hi Jack - thanks for the writing support! :) i think we'll all need some support during the process. that's a good idea telling all friends and family that you're writing so that they'll support you - i've told everyone i know just because i'm excited that i'm doing it! :D

[Brice]

See if I were going to do this I'd go the opposite direction and not tell anyone until I was done. :lol:

[arrawyn]

:lol: well this way (telling everyone) is more motivation for you to finish because if you don't you'll look stupid to everyone you've told j/k...(kind of :lol:). but yeah, its more motivation because you'll have people behind you hoping you'll do well (and plus you probably wouldn't want to disappoint them afterwards)

[Brice]

It would seem my motivations are different from other's.

Truth is though I'm a bit more concerned with what I think of what I do then what other's opinions are. I do understand your meaning though. If I wrote a book my friends and family would find out when they passed it in the store.

[Jean]

same for bears...

[Brice]

:couple:

[Darkthoughts]

I started today, 1700 odd words, not bad for me I think I'll do more this evening. Anyone else kicked off today?

[Hannah]

I'm at 500 words or so. Not bad for me, but since I don't have time to write on the weekends I have to get 2273 every day this month. :beat:

[candy]

good luck to all, i am not going to get a chance to do this (gutted) but i will be your cheer leader

:clap:**go go go**:clap::clap:

[Mattrick]

I'm currently working on a screenplay so I'm unable to partake.

[Mattrick]

See if I were going to do this I'd go the opposite direction and not tell anyone until I was done. :lol:

They say that is the best method. Criticism both good and bad can hinder a writer. I know it's hindered me in the past. I refuse to let anyone see anything of my work beyond the first few pages.

[Mattrick]

I've done it every year since 2006, so this'll be my fifth year doing it. I've never finished it. It seems like I always start out really strong and then peter off towards the last two weeks of the month. Every year I tell myself I'm going to finish it, and every year I don't. I have four half-finished novels laying around on my hard drive.

If you feel the constrictions of NaNoWriMo aren't helping (I personally don't put much merit behind it myself) then simply re-approach it after a few weeks. Sometimes letting something simmer on the backburner and develop a life of it's own can be a healthy thing for a story. But it can have adverse side effects as the tone and direction can change. If you peter off after a few weeks make a note on the calender for a few weeks after. Don't work on outlines or anything in this time. Merely let the story and characters wander in and out of mind during day to day activities. If you don't find your story invading your thoughts then it probably means you don't have anything left in the tank for that particular story.

[arrawyn]

i've written just over 1800 words today and am hoping to write more before I go out to a concert tonight :scared:

my first year so i'm really excited! hope my excitement doesn't fizzle out! good luck to all!

[Darkthoughts]

Just under 4000 words before I went to work this morning, got band practise tonight so I don't think I'll get much more done today, but I'm really enjoying it! I dreamt about my story last night and had some awesome ideas at work.

I've had the vague concept for years, but never did anything with it - don't want to jinx myself but right now it's flowing like it was telling itself :thumbsup:

[candy]

DAY TWO

:clap::clap:GO GO GO MY WRITING CHAMPIONS:clap::clap:

[arrawyn]

that's awesome darkthoughts!:clap:

i'm just over 3500 so i'm feeling good too!:excited:

[Mattrick]

While I'm not writing a novel I am working on my screenplay. I'm curious to hear not details of your work, but merely premise and inspiration.


I'm writing something about a girl who has a unique condition. She can't physically feel anything, she's essentially paralyzed but she's able to be mobile. She starts seeing a therapist after discovering she has pancreatic cancer and it's too late to do anything about it. Due to her condition, she couldn't feel the pain or symptoms.

The inspiration comes from the link between phsyical feeling and emotonal feeling and how the absensce of touch can impact a life and the mind. It's been very interesting.

[Darkthoughts]

Candy :lol: I'm sending you you some pom poms, but in the meantime take this:

http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c39/towerjunkie19/Smilies/emoticon-cheerleader.gif

arrawyn, that's excellent!! :couple: I haven't managed to write anything this morning because I had other boring stuff to do that I couldn't put off any longer! But I'll do it this evening, I'm determined to write everyday or it becomes to easy to put it off.

Mattrick, that sounds really cool, especially for the fact that I can't think of anything else that I've seen that has the same premise :thumbsup:

[candy]

http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c39/towerjunkie19/Smilies/emoticon-cheerleader.gif
http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c39/towerjunkie19/Smilies/emoticon-cheerleader.gif

come on your writers
http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c39/towerjunkie19/Smilies/emoticon-cheerleader.gif
http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c39/towerjunkie19/Smilies/emoticon-cheerleader.gif


(sang in a football anthem type of way)

[Darkthoughts]

How's everyone getting on? I've fallen behind this week because of my shifts at work, but I think I'm off all next week and plan to do a major catch up. On around 9000 words.

[Jean]

good luck to everyone!

http://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k291/mishemplushem/Messages/good-luck.jpg

[arrawyn]

i'm currently at 31,500-ish - and seriously my fingers are sore! :beat: i managed to do 15k last weekend and from now on i'm going to try to write 2000 / day.

but i'm finding i'm starting to slow down a lot now/lose motivation. i have an vague outline all done up so all i need to do is follow it and fill stuff in...

i have a local write-in to go to tonight so hopefully that'll help pick me up!!

congrats to everyone who's doing this so far! and thanks to all who are offering us encouragement!:rose:

[arrawyn]

How is everyone doing?!?! Well I hope!!

I've almost reached 41k today...:dance: (and boy are my fingers tired!)

I have to say my story is pretty much super crappy, but if i edit the **** out of it later,it could possibly, maybe, be actually half way decent!

[Darkthoughts]

Wow!! I am totally in awe :clap: Well done, seriously!!

[candy]

wow, you are all doing really well, and we are only 12 days in!!!:clap:

[arrawyn]

thanks guys! i'm kinda surprised myself! i've now passed the 45k mark (just!) so about 4500 words to go! (but not to the end of my story - i'm hoping it'll maybe get to 55 or 60k...).


How are you doing Darkthoughts?!?!?! wishing you tons of GOOD LUCK!!!

[Darkthoughts]

Thank you :huglove: I'm upto 15000 after a full morning of writing. I have the whole week off work so I'm hoping to be on target if not over by the weekend :thumbsup:

[Tito_Villa]

Wow im impressed with how things are going with everyone!

[arrawyn]

Thank you :huglove: I'm upto 15000 after a full morning of writing. I have the whole week off work so I'm hoping to be on target if not over by the weekend :thumbsup:

yay thats awesome!:rock: hope you've been able to write as much as you were hoping so far this week! i am off work tomorrow and friday (and next monday) so i'm pretty sure i'll be done this weekend. i'm thinking i'll reach 50k tomorrow (i'm already at 47.5ish) and probably totally finish my story this weekend. i hope it will be close to 55 or 60 K but i'll be happy whatever it ends up being. I'm actually going to be sad to stop writing about it! i've been getting into a good flow with it the last 2 days - even though i've plotted out my whole story with a fairly detailed outline, there have been some surprising bits that have just sprung up out of nowhere!...

can i ask whats your username on the Nano forums? i'd love to read about your story plot! if you don't wanna tell me, that's fine too. sorry if i'm being too nosey!! i'm just curious and love reading everyone's story synopsis. i'm impressed by the variety of stuff everyone is writing! its all so cool and creative!

i'm... arrawyn on the forum. no change there haha. i'm arrawyn everywhere online! :cool:

[Darkthoughts]

:lol: Yep, I'm Darkthoughts there too! I haven't put up a synopsis, I've mainly just dropped in, updated word count and left before I got chatting and procrastinating. I'll see if I can write something up :thumbsup:

[arrawyn]

okay i'm officially finished my NaNo novel!! which is good because my right wrist was starting to hurt! lol. and now i can rest it for awhile before i start hacking apart my draft when i edit it!!!

i am sad i'm done though... i hoped to be able to stretch it out more than I did but oh well.... maybe it'll expand a bit on editing...hopefully! :)

[candy]

http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c39/towerjunkie19/Smilies/emoticon-cheerleader.gif
http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c39/towerjunkie19/Smilies/emoticon-cheerleader.gif
http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c39/towerjunkie19/Smilies/emoticon-cheerleader.gif
http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c39/towerjunkie19/Smilies/emoticon-cheerleader.gif

you can do it peoples, you can do it. whooo hoooo i believe in you


okay i'm officially finished my NaNo novel!! which is good because my right wrist was starting to hurt! lol. and now i can rest it for awhile before i start hacking apart my draft when i edit it!!!

i am sad i'm done though... i hoped to be able to stretch it out more than I did but oh well.... maybe it'll expand a bit on editing...hopefully! :)

wow. i mean wow............................................... ......
serious congratulations with that, finished the whole thing in what 20 days?:grouphug:

[Darkthoughts]

I don't know if I can get to 50000 words in time, but I really like my story, so I'm still steaming ahead :thumbsup:

[Jean]

do it! do it!!!

http://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k291/mishemplushem/Facilitation/bearheart.gifhttp://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k291/mishemplushem/Facilitation/bearheart.gifhttp://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k291/mishemplushem/Facilitation/bearheart.gif

[Darkthoughts]

:huglove:

I'm being very dedicated, I just passed up on going for coffee with my sister in favour of staying in writing!

[arrawyn]

good for you! :clap: you can go for coffee with your sister as a reward when you're done! :D

[Jean]

does someone know if it still exists? anyone participating?

[terrier91]

I'm four days late, but attempting it this year.... Though with my schedule, it'll probably be National Novella Writing Month.

[Mattrick]

I did my NaNoWriMo in June when I wrote 43500 words in 3 weeks. And here I am in November, again, with things go on that prevent me from actually participating. While I like the idea, it's never really applied to me or how I write, and now that I've actually written a book, I'm constantly writing all the time, so November is really no different than June for me. It's funny that I'm currently writing two novels this November lol

Good luck, though! It's a good exercise to get into a grind.

[Jon]

Good luck to all the Baanarimo folks... LOL


My son and I work our asses off this month.

[Mattrick]

You should share your results on here as you write them. While I'm not participating directly, I can share what I've written so far this month...as out of context as it would be without the first 11,000 words lol

[Mattrick]

“How are things?”
“Shitty,” Will said and took a huge bite from his monte cristo sandwich. As he chewed, he said, “But I’m trying to stay positive.”
“Guess that’s all you can do.”
“Tell me about it!”
“And Karen?”
Will swallowed. “I don’t even know. She’s been acting strange.”
“Can you blame her?”
“No, it’s not that I blame her, I’m just—worried. I’ve never seen her like this. You know Karen. She’s bubbly as all hell. But the past couple of weeks,” he takes another huge bite. “It’s like I don’t even recognize her.”
“She’s seeing that shrink, right?”
“Oh, don’t you dare call her a shrink around Karen. She thinks it’s a pejorative term, not against the doctor, but the patient. She says normal people see therapists, crazy people see shrinks.”
“I get that. Listen—Jeremy was talking to me the other day, and—”
“What?” Will dropped his sandwiched and a goblet of cheese jettisoned onto his button-up. “What, Paulie? What did Jeremy say?”
“He said you should take some time off.”
“What? And he couldn’t say this to my face? He’s supposed to be the goddamn boss!”
Paulie bit off half a crinkle-cut French fry and dropped the uneaten half on his pile. “He didn’t know how to broach the subject. The two of you have been butting heads a lot lately. He was afraid you’d think he was trying to edge you out.”
“Well, isn’t he?” Will slapped the table hard. “I know what this is about. This is about the City Hall story. He blames me for it, doesn’t he?”
“I can’t—”
“It’s the fucking fact checkers he should be getting rid of. Useless gits they are.”
“He doesn’t want to fire you, Will. He’s worried about you.”
“The hell he is!”
“Will, we’re all worried about you. He didn’t talk to me to go behind your back. He talked to me to get my opinion and to ask me to bring it up with you because he didn’t want to upset you.”
“I’m upset anyways!” He screamed and hit the table again, and in the stark quiet all that could be heard was the fading echo of his bouncing fork. He held up his hand to apologize to the waitress who was burning a hole in him before biting into his sandwich.
“I know you’re upset. You’re upset at work, out to lunch, on the train home.” Paulie found the remaining half of the French fry and ate it. “And I’m sure you’re upset at home too.”
“I haven’t been sleeping very well. Karen, she—she just lies awake all night, staring at the ceiling, and I can feel that she’s awake and that feeling won’t let me sleep. But I don’t know what to say or how to comfort her. I don’t know who she is, Paulie. I’m in bed with a stranger. Don’t you get that?”
“Come on. She can’t have changed that much.”
“Oh, she has. How about this, dinner, my place, Saturday night, you bring Penny. Then you can see for yourself.”
“We’re actually going up to Penny’s parents Saturday night.”
“Friday then.”
“Friday—yeah, Friday works.”
“Good. At the very least, maybe dinner with old friends will lift her up a bit.”
“We can only hope.”
Will picked up what was left of his sandwich and looked at it almost in disgust. “I can’t eat anymore. My appetite just died on me.”
“I’ll be done in a minute.”
“With the way you eat your French fries? You wish.”
Paulie bit a French fry in half. “Are you going to think about it?”
“Think about what?”
“Taking time off? Karen needs you. Nova needs you. The Globe and Mail will get along just fine without you for a couple of weeks.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“You’re not just blowin’ smoke up my ass are you?”
“No.”
“Alright then.” He ate the other half of his French fry. “You look like shit, by the way.”
Will laughed and said, “Fuck you.”

************

The doorbell rang. Karen rushed to it, but before she opened it she adjusted her hair.
“Hi guys!” She said, jumping without actually leaving the ground. “Come in! Come in!”
Paulie and Penny entered the house smiling, carrying a bottle of wine and bakery bought cherry pie respectively. Will came out of the kitchen taking off oven mitts and took their guests coats and hung them on the rack.
“So,” Penny said as she handed Will the pie. “Are you going to make me wait all night to see Nova?”
“Lord, I forgot you haven’t seen her yet.”
“I’ve seen pictures, but pictures never do the living justice.”
“My wife, the poet!” Paulie said.
“Stop it,” Penny said and playfully hit Paulie on the arm.
“You two girls go run along,” Paulie said as he held up the wine bottle with an incorrigible grin. “We have a bottle to put on ice.”
“It’s takes two of you?” Penny said as her and Karen started down the hall.
“You going to let her insult you like that?” Will said and slapped Paulie on the back.
“She was insulting you too, you know. And why does everyone keep hitting me?”
“Because you’re just so hittable, darling!” Penny called, out of sight.
“Yeah, yeah.” Paulie moved in close to Will, winked, and motioned with his head for Will to look down as he pulled out a flask. “You don’t think all I brought was wine, did you?”
“Not for a second.”
In the kitchen, Will took two clear, round glasses out of the cupboard, placed three ice cubes in each of them, and set them on the counter in front of Paulie, who emptied a quarter of his flask into each of them, and handed a glass to Will.
Smiling, Paulie reached out and he and Will clinked glasses. They both took a deep drink and expunged a breath of pure pleasure.
“Your taste is impeccable,” Will said, turning the glass in his palm.
“Well, I sure as hell don’t buy my stuff at the LCBO. That stuff is swill, all of it.”
“Even Jameson?”
“Well, except Jameson.” Paulie finished his drink and set it down on the counter. “Karen seems alright tonight.”
“She’s not. If you’d have seen her face transform when the doorbell rang, you’d know that. She’s like a changeling.”
“Man, don’t say shit like that about your wife.”
“I was joking.”
“No, you weren’t. All jokes come from a place of truth.”
“So what if I meant it?”
“So nothing. But if she is changing as you say, then you cannot change. You have to remain the same. If you change, it will be impossible to bring her back.”
“That makes sense.”
“I was doing some reading on something called Postpartum Depression.”
“Yeah, I’ve know it. Remember the story we printed about that woman who drowned her twin baby boys in the bathtub a few years back?”
“Shit no,” Paulie said. Grimacing, he made another drink. “I probably blocked that out. Fucking miserable shit going on out there.”
“That’s why I’m—”
“Wait, don’t tell me—you don’t think—”
“I don’t think, okay? Just do me a favour and take mental notes over dinner.”
The sounds of their wives could be heard coming down the hall.
“Don’t make it seem like you’re watching her, and if—hi Kay.”
“Were you two telling secrets?” Karen said.
“They’re drinking them,” Penny said. “I thought I told you no booze tonight.”
“Honey, it’s just one drink. And besides, we already brought wine.”
“For them to have later. It’s a gift, Paul. You know Karen can’t drink.”
Karen held up her hands. “No, it’s fine. Drink! Be merry!”
Penny touched Karen’s arm. “You sure?”
“Of course.”
The next sound was Paulie popping the cork out of the wine bottle.
“Don’t think you’re still not in trouble, mister.” Penny said
Paulie smiled and said, “Like you can be mad at this face.”

**********


Half an hour and half a bottle of Pinot Grigio later, they were in the midst of eating dinner, which consisted of a maple-glazed pork roast, garlic and herb mashed potatoes, asparagus, and a big Caesar salad. The entire time Paulie watched Karen in his periphery, and so far nothing had him the slightest bit concerned. To him, she was her usual, bubbly self. But as he watched Karen with his right eye, he kept his left scanning Will and any abnormal behaviours on his part. In his research he learned men too can suffer from postpartum and, if he was, such a condition could make other people seem different instead.
“So, Penny told me you guys were taking a trip.” Karen said and sipped her ice water.
“Yep. The Bahamas. In exactly eighty-six days I’ll be on a beach getting a gnarly sunburn. I can’t fucking wait.”
“When are we going to take a trip like that?”
“What about our honeymoon?” Will said as he chewed pork.
“That doesn’t count, silly.” Karen said with a fey flick of her hand.
“No?”
“She’s right,” Paulie said. “She will always be right, even if she’s wrong.”
“Prick,” Penny said and waved her napkin in his face.
“I’m a proud prick. And you love it.”
Karen seemed to hear something and a slight look of worriment crossed her face, but half a second later a toothy grin took over.
“Oh, you know me so well.”
“Damn straight,” Paulie said and refilled his wine glass.
“How many is that?”
“I’ll be okay to drive.”
“No more.”
“All the more for me!” Will said and snatched the bottle of the table.
They all laughed; Paulie saw it with his studious glances.
“How’s work going?” Karen said to Penny.
“My boss doesn’t know what the hell he wants. Don’t know how he got promoted being so indecisive. And these damn newfangled computers we just got are frustrating.”
“You’ll get used to them,” Will said. “Computers really are more efficient.”
“And I say by the time the nineties roll around, they won’t suck,” Paulie said. “Pass the salt, Will.”
Will passed the salt and said, “They’re not that bad.”
“And you also grew up with disco. What does your generation know?”
“I’m five years younger than you! And I hate disco.”
“Paul, dear,” Penny said, pointing at him with a stalk of flaccid asparagus. “You like The Bee Gees.”
“Yeah, but they’ve been around since the fifties.”
“But still, The Bee Gees.”
“She’s got you there,” Will said.
“Damn you all. I love The Bee Gees.”
“Finish my wine, Honey.”
“Don’t mind if I do,” Paulie said as he took the glass from his wife’s hand and emptied it in his mouth.
“Seems we’re all just about done eating,” Karen said. “Dessert?”
As she stood, Paulie jumped up, placed his hands on her shoulders, and gently pushed her back into her seat. “You sit. I got this.”
“You’re such a gentleman,” Karen said with a quick smile.
To his wife, Paulie said, “Hear that? She called me a gentleman.”
“After a few, you’re quite the charmer.”
Paulie gave her a ‘you got me’ smile and headed into the kitchen.
“Now that it’s just the adults,” Penny said, leaning into the table as if prepared to tell a secret. “Me and Paul decided we’re going to try again.”
“For a child?” Will said.
“Yes. We aren’t getting any younger, and we’re at the point now where we’re stable enough. It would be a crime for us not to have a child.”
“Hoping for a girl?” Karen said.
“He is. I want a boy.”
“Maybe you’ll get something in between and you can both be happy,” Will said.
“Will!” Karen said.
“Was just a joke.”
“Well it wasn’t funny!”
“Karen,” Penny said. “It’s okay. He didn’t mean anything by it.”
“See what happens when I leave the room?” Paullie said when he entered the dining room almost dancing with the pie held out in front. “I’m the glue.”
Paulie set down the warm pie and as he served each of the them a piece, he said, “Now this pie is a very special pie. It is from a little known bakery in Markham, and let me tell you, this place has the best baked goods I’ve ever had. It’s ruined me for any other pastry.”
Karen was given the first slice so she also took the first bite. She slapped her leg it tasted so good. “I must be dreaming. No pie can be this good.”
“Believe it sister.”
“Jesus!” Will said with a mouthful.
“Told you.”
“Him bringing home all these pies and napoleons and lady fingers is the reason why I’ve plumped up a little bit.”
“Penny, you’re crazy,” Karen said, holding the next forkful of cherry pie in the air, ready to go. “You look great. It’ll be months before I drop all this baby weight.”
“Shut up, the both of you,” Will said. “You both look great.”
Paulie pointed at Will. “What he said.”
Minutes later, when the last bite of pie was swallowed, an alarm went off down the hall. Will stood up.
“No, you clear the table,” Karen said. She wiped the red from her chin and stood up. “I’ve got her.”
“You sure?”
She nodded, and hurried out of the room.
Penny excused herself to use the washroom.
Will and Paulie cleared the table, and when they were done, Paulie produced two cigars from his jacket pocket and said, “Balcony?”

**************

She just needed to get out of there. She was suffocating amidst the small talk. Trying to keep that ostensive smile alive was torturous. What did it matter to anything that Paulie liked the Bee Gees or that he and Penny would be escaping to the Caribbean? Talking about pie? None of it mattered to her. There was something wrong with her baby and in all likelihood something will always be wrong with her. Karen was powerless. As she gazed down upon Nova, she hated Penny and Paulie for still being exactly who they had always been. Will wasn’t the same either.
“You,” she said to her daughter. “You’ve ruined everything.”
Karen began to cry at her own assertion. She cried because that was what she honestly believed. Nova was supposed to bring them happiness but she’s brought nothing but strife and stress. A new mother should not feel such abject misery. They should feel only the most jubilant of ecstasies day in and day out. She did not expect motherhood to be a cakewalk. She expected stress. She expected sore nipples, sleepless nights, and days where she wanted to tear her out her hair. What she did not expect was that festering emptiness which was consuming her a little more each day. And she was full of rage, rage that she could not express or expunge, rage that was being stored inside her emptiness, and there it simmered. She doesn’t want to hate her daughter because she doesn’t hate her daughter. She doesn’t what to hate her daughter because her daughter did nothing wrong. Yet, there she was, mentally strangling it with hatred.
“Why did I agree to this dinner?” She whispered to herself. “Because Will didn’t give me a choice in the matter, that’s why.”
Karen took off Nova’s diaper and the most heinous smell ever attacked her. She tossed the dirty diaper into the trash, cleaned her, and put her in a new diaper.
‘You’re so beautiful,” she said, stroking Nova’s tuft of blonde hair as if she could actually feel it.
Light flooded the dim nursery.
“Need a hand?” Penny said.
“No thanks. Just had to change her,” she said, subtly grimacing as she forces herself to smile again. “All done now.”
“Karen, we haven’t really had much chance to talk between the two of us, and I was wondering if we could.”
“Say whatever is on your mind.”
“Mostly I just want to ask, how are you holding up?”
“As good as you’d expect.”
“I wouldn’t even know what to expect. You know me, me and Paul, we’re going to be here for you two every step of the way, right?”
“That means a lot to us.”
“We’ve may have only known each other a couple of years, but you’ve become like a sister to me. And, I’m worried about you. Will too. Speaking of which, has he made a decision yet?”
“What decision?”
“Oh, shit! Forget I said anything.”
“You have to tell me now.”
“Paul came to me a week ago, said Jeremy wanted Will to take some time off and wanted Paul to talk him into it.”
“Has his work been suffering?”
“Paul says he doesn’t see it,” Penny put her hands on her hips. “He said Will wasn’t too pleased with the idea.”
“No, he wouldn’t be. He wants his escape from this.”
“Is that what you think?”
“It’s what I know. That’s not to say he isn’t invested in us, but I know he knows he’ll go crazy if he’s here with me all day. I want him here with me. It’s hard being alone with this most of the day, but—maybe it’s best this way. Or maybe not. I don’t know anymore. What do you think? Should he take time off? What does Paul think?”
“Paul thinks he should consider it. Though he said Will thinks this is Jeremy’s way of getting rid of him.”
“Would Jeremy do that? You’ve known him longer than me.”
“Honestly? Yes, I wouldn’t put it passed him. Will he? That I’m not as certain about. Jeremy is a shrewd boss, but he’s got kids of his own, and I don’t think he’s heartless enough to fire someone when they’re going through what Will is, but you never know.”
“If Will were to lose his job—”




I'm not particularly pleased with that last conversation. When I re-write it won't resemble that at all. I don't have enough of a grasp of who Penny is yet, I think.

[Mattrick]

What I wrote yesterday, just shy of 2,000 words


Will shot a billow of smoke from his mouth and leaned back in his chair. “Goddamn that’s good.”
“I know, I know,” Paulie said, gazing down upon his smouldering cigar with admiration. “I have impeccable taste.” He patted his stomach and said, “Karen is a terrific cook. I haven’t ate a meal like that in awhile. Me and Penny eat out too much these days.”
“It shows.”
“Nah. That’s the whiskey.”
“I’m sure it is.”
“Speaking of which,” he pulled out his flash that cast the reflection of the moonlight in Will’s face, “Still some left.” He took a swig and passed it.
“You’re such a lush,” Will said and took a swig. “I can never drink much because Karen isn’t much of a drinker. And apparently I become an asshole when I drink.”
“It happens to the best of us.”
“Except you.”
“I’m not the best of us.”
Will passed the flask back and filled his mouth with smoke. He looked up at the near-full moon on the cloudless, spring night and realized whatever soothing presence the moon once gave him, like a watchful face that always reminded him he would never be alone, was gone, and all that remained with pity; Paulie pitied him, and so did Penny and Jeremy and god knows who else. To Will, pity is the second most useless emotion behind insecurity, and, to be frank, he couldn’t stop feeling either one of them. “How’d she seem to you?”
“Pretty normal.”
“Yeah. She did seem normal. Maybe it was you two. Tonight felt like old times.”
“The times weren’t all that old.”
“They were to us.”
“Glad to be of service,” Paulie said and tipped the flask. He held the flask out. “Want another nip?”
“Do you have to ask?”
“You finish that up. I’m already probably a little too tipsy to drive.”
Will finished it up right away.
“You know,” Paulie began before stopping to haul on his cigar. “There was one thing tonight that perturbed me, about Karen.”
“What was it?”
“During dinner I caught a look on her face. It was only there for a second, but it was pure hysteria. Like in that second she thought a hundred thoughts and none of them good. And then, like someone flicked a switch, she was smiling.” He tapped the ash from his cigar. “At first—at first I thought nothing of it, but now I think I see what you’ve been seeing. She was wearing a mask tonight, wasn’t she?”
“She was.” Will said with a sigh, as a lone, black cloud invaded the moon. “Do you think I should talk with her about it?”
“I wouldn’t. But hey, that’s me, and I’m a pussy. Sometimes women just need to feel it and get it out of their system. They’re not like us. They can only pretend things are okay for so long. At least she’s seeing that therapist. What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Maybe you should see a therapist.”
“What the hell for?”
“For her. For both of them.” Paulie pointed at him with the cigar. “You’re the man of the house. Even if you’re all fucked up inside, you gotta act like you’re okay. But you can only do that so long. You need to, in some way, get all that negativity out.”
“But I got you.”
“Buddy, I’m your friend. I got a different role. I’m the guy who is going to smoke cigars with you over a few drinks and talk about how stupid Cox was for not putting Key in the game after Steib gave up four straight singles. That four spot in the fifth cost us the game.”
“So you’re going to pass the buck, eh?”
“No. I’ll talk about whatever with you, but that can’t be our relationship. You get that?”
“I do.”
“Good. Because smoking cigars over a few drinks, I need that. We’re guys. We need this, what we got right here, right now. It’s what keeps us sane. If that gets poisoned, we’re all done for.”
Will smiled when the cloud gave the moon back to him. He was glad to have someone like Paulie as a friend: he was true blue, a real old school man with a new school flavour. “And you’re an idiot. With the year Steib has been having, you have to leave him in. He shut it down the next two innings.”
“But he still lost us the game. If we’re ever going to win a pennant we have to stop losing games in half an inning against good teams like The Royals.”
“We’re taking the pennant this year.”
“Yeah, sure. And the Leafs are going to win the cup next year.”


**************

“So how come you didn’t tell me?” Karen said, sitting up in bed, her face barely lit by the night table lamp.
“Tell you what?” Will said, as he was stripping down to his boxers.
“That you were asked to take time off.”
“Because I’m not giving it much thought.”
“Why not?”
Will looked at Karen with a face she couldn’t stand. It was his face when he wanted to brush everything under the rug.
“Do you really want to do this now?”
“When else should we do it? Where you even going to tell me?”
He threw his button-up on the floor by the door and said, “Eventually.”
“Which means no. Am I right?”
“No.”
Karen crossed her arms and looked at the wall.
“Don’t be like that,” he said.
“Like what? Pissed off? It’s your fault. Don’t cause me to be pissed off then blame it on me.”
“I didn’t do anything!”
“That’s why I’m pissed. Because you didn’t do anything.”
“Penny told you, didn’t she?”
“She thought I knew. And she was right to think that in the past four days you would have talked with me about it, so don’t be mad at her.”
“I’m not mad at—” Will took a breathe and sat on the end of the bed. He reached for her foot beneath the blanket and she pulled it toward her. “Kay?”
“I’m so mad at you right now.”
“Because you don’t want me to work, is that it?”
“No.”
“I think it is!” He stood up and began to pace around the room. “What, do you think I’m going to work because I want to? We need money, Kay. Having a baby isn’t cheap, let alone—so what would you have me do? Quit? Take a leave of absence which may be longer than temporary You want to lose our apartment?”
“No! I don’t want any of that!”
“Then what do you want? Huh?”
“I don’t want to be alone with this!”
“Is that what you think? That you’re alone?”
Karen sucked back the first of her tears and nodded.
“Christ, Kay.” He sat on the bed beside her with his back turned to her. “Maybe I have been distant. Been too involved with my work, it’s just that—I’m scared.”
“And I’m not? I’m terrified. Terrified!”
“Maybe taking some time off wouldn’t be the worst thing.”
“No, I think it will be.”
“What? But you—”
Karen sat up, threw her arms around him, and leaned her chin against his shoulder. “I’m not mad you don’t want to take time off. I’m mad you didn’t tell me about it.” It was at that moment that Karen broke down into horrible sobbing.
Will turned and she tossed her body into his chest. As he squeezed her she wanted to feel okay, but she didn’t. His embrace made her feel worse, as if their marriage had become a mere mockery for their joint terror because he began to cry to, and she had never seen him cry before. It was at that moment that she realized that Will could do nothing to help her and she could do nothing to help him, and while they were connected through this prolonged and trepidatious embrace, she may as well have been hugging a stranger.
“Don’t leave me in the dark,” she whispered. “Don’t ever leave me in the dark again. I need you to be my light. Be my light. Be my light.”
“I will.”
They kissed and made up without resolving any of their issues. For an hour and a half the two of them lay next to each other in bed, not facing each other, not touching each other, wide awake, listening to the orchestra of crickets accompanied by the growing wind of an approaching storm, until the alarm went off. Karen trudged down the dark hallway into the nursery and started the now mechanical yet increasingly arduous process of feeding Nova.
She held Nova up and stared into her pale, beautiful face, a face she could finally see had so much of Will in it. She smiled and began to shake Nova. She thrashed her arms and Nova’s limp head bounced around as she screamed, “Cry goddamn you! Cry! Make a fucking sound!”
She opened her eyes to find Nova in the crook of her arm; she fell asleep on the sofa. She detached the feeding tube and set her back down in her crib. It was then she noticed her shit was clinging to her heaving bosom because her entire body was slick with sweat. She heard a baby crying and looked down but it wasn’t Nova. Nova was asleep. She thinks Nova was asleep. She can never tell. Is her baby sleeping or is it awake. Is it alive or is it dead? If it weren’t for the diapers filling up with piss and shit she’d have no way to know. The room spun as the crying got louder and louder. She couldn’t block the sound out even when she painfully folded her ears together and grit her teeth. It wasn’t a baby crying. It was the alarm down the hall and it just shut off. She stuck her head into the hallway and the light in their room turned on. Karen silently raced down the hall, across their bedroom door, seeing Will rub his eyes in the corner of her eye, and locked herself in the bathroom.
She took off her clothes, briefly seeing her fatter body in the mirror, and jumped in the shower. Beneath the droning hiss of the rushing water she laughed, then she cried, then she laughed while she was crying. She sat cross-legged. She couldn’t take her eyes off the water swirling down the drain. Will knocked on the door. He said her name. He tried the knob. He was so far away. Karen was all alone.

[kaufen]

My son is absolutely consumed by this every year!