1001 things I've learned from watching movies

[fernandito]

Elvis is not dead, he just went home.

Billionaire playboys eat at Burger King.

Mob banks don't hire security guards.

If a woman asks you if you're a God, you say YES!

[KaLikeAWheel]

Bad guys have shitty aim.

Little kids are creepy.

All average or ugly women have a hot babe inside them just waiting for a haircut, a change of clothes, and some contacts.

NEVER say, things "can't get worse," or something similar....NEVER!

Donna

[fernandito]

Restaurants in Holland put mayonnaise in their fries instead of ketchup.

Tipping automatically is 'for the birds'.

[tamez]

In case of reanimation of the deceased
you can destroy them by aiming for the head
with a gun, crossbow, big stick, frying pan
or whatever else is on hand.

You can never be sure if someone's really dead
so always shoot them one more time
when they're down.

A vampire can't come into your house
unless you invite them first.

[KaLikeAWheel]

Medieval peasants always have perfect teeth.

If a cop is near retirement, he will be killed, or at least maimed.

Running women always fall down. If a man is with her, he'll pick her up. If she's alone, she'l just crawl and say, "Oh, god," over and over. :rolleyes:

Cheerleaders always wear their uniforms to school.

In space, no one can hear you scream.

[Wigda]

don't trust robots (especially if ur in a spaceship with them) because they'll probably try to "protect" you.
kung fu is awsome and so are pandas
slow-time only happens in the matrix, believe me I've tried

[turtlex]

Never go camping on or near Halloween, with six hot girlfriends.

[KaLikeAWheel]

You never take sides with anyone against the family.

If your enemies know where you are, don't be there.

Never, ever, ever, EVER pick up hitchhikers. ::shudder::

Donna

[razz]

If you kill someone, with their last dying act will be to inject themselves with some drug that will mutate their bodies into an unstoppable form.

If you build it, he will come

The killer is always someone you least expect. probably your grandmother.

He wants to play a game. It's not Monopoly.

Don't hide around a corner, look around the corner, turn back, take a couple breaths, ten look around the corner again.

Raptors can open doors.

[theBeamisHome]

Dogs and babies can see ghosts.

If you have sex, you'll die.

Give him what he wants and he'll go away.

[razz]

if you kill all versions of you in different dimensions, you'll become a god

And no, if you give him what he wants, he will NOT go away, but kill you faster. I seems to recall the phrase "It's okay, he just wanted his machete back!", before he was dismembered. :)

[fernandito]

There are two kinds of people in this world - those with loaded guns, and those who dig.

Monkeys can drive you to your workplace if you're too stoned to do it yourself.

[razz]

If you can't beat them, inject yourself with vampire blood and beat them that way.

Do NOT go out into the creepy dense forest with your friends and a video camera looking for a a witch. What are you gonna do if you find her, ask for an interview?

[Empath of the White]

And no, if you give him what he wants, he will NOT go away, but kill you faster. I seems to recall the phrase "It's okay, he just wanted his machete back!", before he was dismembered. :)

(Whoever gave him his machete probably deserved what they got.:orely:)

Don't split up.

[sarah]

getting or receiving a foot massage can be considered having an affair.

don't make Uma Thurman mad :scared:

That Donnie is out of his element.

That I must always keep it secret and keep it safe

[sarah]

Monkeys can drive you to your workplace if you're too stoned to do it yourself.


:rofl: :rofl: I'll keep that in mind. :D

[turtlex]

That the first rule of Fight Club is you don't talk about Fight Club.

( and sure as crap I just violated that very rule, by posting )

[theBeamisHome]

if you shoot yourself in the head you can kill your alter ego

(don't try this at home)

[fernandito]

getting or receiving a foot massage can be considered having an affair.


Oh man! I was going to use this one in my initial post, but I forgot to... great minds and all that :D

--

Apparently madness is like gravity - all you need is a little pushhhh!!

[Odetta]

Everyone in the past is a primitive screwhead.

Your arch nemesis may indeed be your father.

Anyone can be killed.

Time travel is possible.

[fernandito]

Some alien races like to hunt humans for the sport, and make trophies out of their skulls.

Helicopters can be taken out with a bow & arrow (I'm looking at you Rambo).

[jayson]

Explosions don't kill you, they just cause you to fly through the air.

Never, ever, steal weed from Rory Breaker (or ask him to turn down the television at the pub).

[theBeamisHome]

Any kind of penis trauma is enough to make a man faint.

[fernandito]

When playing Dodgeball, there are 5 simple techniques to remember that can make you a better player - Dodge, Dip, Duck, Dive, and .... Dodge.

Basketball players make shitty actors :lol:

[jayson]

Basketball players make shitty actors :lol:

Except perhaps Ray Allen who I thought was fantastic in "He Got Game"

[Hannah]

Shoot first, ask questions later.

Bad guys can be funny too.

Driving off a cliff in your convertible is the preferred option to escaping police pursuit.

Being older and having more insurance is awesome.

You can jump out of a window two stories high and have no injuries.

Prince Charming is just a kiss away.

[Rjeso]

Only good guys have to reload their guns.

Bad guys always have terrible aim.

Ghosts are not scary if they're floating around under designer sheets.

Jason Statham is only comfortable if he is driving a fast car.

Never go skinnydipping.

NEVER SIP WHISKEY. It can only be knocked back in one gulp.

One half of each pair of identical twins always turns out to be evil incarnate.

If you need a disguise, you can attack someone who is not even remotely close to your size and shape, but their clothing will fit you perfectly.

[theBeamisHome]

If you need a disguise, you can attack someone who is not even remotely close to your size and shape, but their clothing will fit you perfectly.

:rofl: that is so true!

If you do time travel be careful not to have sex with anyone or you'll become your own grandpa/ma.

[fernandito]

Cyborgs would cry if they could, but it's something they could never do.

Apparently Nitrogen is carried/transported throughout the country in 40' footers.

There was a 13th apostle named Rufus.

[The Lady of Shadows]

never, ever say you'll be right back
once you have sex the killer will get you for sure
there are dead people everywhere, watching us do everything
girls are really stupid when confronted with scary situations (apparently)

[Unfound One]

Basically anytime anybody has a picture of their family with them when going into battle or any sort, they're gonna die.

[razz]

when a soldier is about ot die, he always knows it and writes a lteer his loved one
ie. a son, wife, etc
when he dies his comrades will happen to somehow find it (probably stealing his stuff), read it out loud, and then they will all cry.

[Jean]

Everyone who says, "It's the last time I... (go there, get involved in this kind of business, engage in this kind of fight)" dies without fail.

You can hack any computer if you run your fingers over keyboard fast enough, with a characteristic clattering sound.

When there's a killer monster nearby, the group of characters never stays together. One of them says, "Let's split!", and, - every time to my BIG surprise - they actually do.

[turtlex]

A letter can be a name. http://i104.photobucket.com/albums/m168/Los_The_Red/V_mask_50.gif

[razz]

cats charms are actually galaxies

[Woofer]

All men - no matter how large, dumpy, lazy, ignorant, and misogynistic - have or can get hot babes for wives.

[dufa40]

Well Guys
1. Nobody puts Baby in the corner
2. Just when you think you are out they pull you back in
3. Ferris is really good at ditching school
4. Killing a 'Made Guy' gets you shot in the face so you cannot have an open coffin
5. Jacob really did not have an 'actual' Ladder
6. White men can't jump

[Odetta]

Keep your goddamn shoes on! There will always be breaking glass when you have no shoes on.

Mud makes you invisible on infrared (?)

There is only one way off any ship... and the alien knows it as well as you do...dur!

[turtlex]

Apparently getting to heaven usually involved a subway.

[fernandito]

Coin tossing is an effective way to decide if someone lives or dies.

Waterboys can become star football players too.

[fernandito]

cats charms are actually galaxies


Nice :cool:

[razz]

i try :)

[tamez]

you never have to look up
phone numbers or driving directions.
you automatically know these things
no matter how obscure.

[fernandito]

Are you hinting at any movie in specific there Tamez? :lol:

[sarah]

I learned to not feed my pets after midnight.


I learned to Phone Home whenever I missed my family


I learned that Recess is better than M&M's when luring Extra-Terrestrials

[Darkthoughts]

That you can steal money from wishing wells, you're just taking back the dreams that didn't come true.

[iamjacksgoat]

You can survive a nuclear explosion by hiding inside of a refrigerator.

[The Lady of Shadows]

that you should never, ever turn your back on the monster (even in your dreams)

[turtlex]

Goonies never say "die".

http://i104.photobucket.com/albums/m168/Los_The_Red/V_mask_50.gif
( inserting a little V head on account of it being Nov 5th )

[razz]

The T-Rex can't see you if you don't move.
but it will still eat you if you're on the toilet.

[fernandito]

If a psychopathic cop tells you to round up everyone, he means E-VERY-OOOOOONNNEEEEEEEEE!!

[sarah]

That you can steal money from wishing wells, you're just taking back the dreams that didn't come true.

is this from goonies? :couple: lurve


If a psychopathic cop tells you to round up everyone, he means E-VERY-OOOOOONNNEEEEEEEEE!!

that's right. he really really does *shiver*


I learned to never invite a vampire in the house unless he has a soul or is really hot

[razz]

the world we know is an artificial reality created by machines and designed to keep humans in check, so that they may be used as a food source.

[Jackie]

Never take balloons from strange clowns hanging out in the gutters

Don't watch a VHS that seems to be 'blank'

Don't bury you dead house pets in a place called 'the pet cematary'

The killer is ALWAYS right behind you

Robots/Computers will take over someday

[Woofer]

There is always an open parking space immediately in front of all buildings, including government buildings.

[razz]

if you're alone in a parking garage, you'll probably die.

[fernandito]

The future isn't set - there is no fate but what we make for ourselves.


The word Raptor actually means - bird of prey.

[The Lady of Shadows]

they mostly come out at night, mostly. . . .

[Odetta]

The future isn't set - there is no fate but what we make for ourselves.


i was waiting for that one. :)


anyone know which movie this is from?

the bartender never gets killed

[fernandito]

anyone know which movie this is from?

the bartender never gets killed

http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h254/JTexHoff/desperado.jpg

[The Lady of Shadows]

sometimes the bad guy wins
sometimes the good guy dies
sometimes there is a barely imperceptible difference between the two

[dufa40]

If a psychopathic cop tells you to round up everyone, he means E-VERY-OOOOOONNNEEEEEEEEE!!

Fever This is from one of my favourite films, I love this quote!!!!

[Woofer]

You've got to have a plan.

[turtlex]

After all, tomorrow is another day.

[dufa40]

Ladies and Gentlemen

1. That Decker is a replicant, isn't a replicant, is a replicant, isn't a repilcant!!!
2. That pictures of Rita Hayworth and Raquel Welch can help you escape from prison
3. That God is Alanis Morissette (Isn't that ironic!!)
4. That if you crash off a bridge whilst drunk and die, the remaining townsfolk will ban dancing and reading books
5. That you can be Father of a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife and have your vengeance in this life or the next
6. That, if you have an epiphany during a hurricane on a shrimp boat you can end up owning AppleMac

[fernandito]

If you hold a happy thought, you can fly!

Pirates are afraid of crocodiles.

Don't answer a distress call from a spaceship that has been beyond the boundaries of our universe.

[turtlex]

Airlocks make great weapons.

[Odetta]

captains always go down with their ships

if a spaceship is about to fire its primary weapon, send a little plane right at it at the exact moment its about to fire and the missile will take it out.

predators bleed neon green blood.

your bicycle is NOT at the Alamo

[fernandito]

Purple suits aren't cheap.

If you want to kill an American District Attorney, you have to buy an American weapon.

Mob bosses meet during the day.

Don't ever, ever attempt to walk into Circus Circus (Vegas) while on Ether.

[Jackie]

There is no spoon

[Odetta]

:lol: great one!

[Tiffany]

It doesn't really take that hard of a punch to knock a guy out.
Any time you do punch someone, there will be a fantastic "CRACK!" sound.
Jawbreakers can kill you.
All problems can be resolved at the prom.
Your gay guy friend has all the answers.
High speed car chases aren't really that exciting unless they happen in loud muscle-cars.

[turtlex]

We are not alone.

[sarah]

Don't ever, ever attempt to walk into Circus Circus (Vegas) while on Ether.

or at any other time. really. *shiver*

[fernandito]

Don't ever, ever attempt to walk into Circus Circus (Vegas) while on Ether.

or at any other time. really. *shiver*

Oh who are we kidding? We both know we were /that/ close to trying it ourselves! :lol: :couple:

[Matt]

I would have tried it with friends. :unsure:

What I learned...

HULK SMASH!!

[razz]

the best way to kill la Russian mercenary is to throw boiling water in his face, then tackle him, knocking him down a flight of stairs.

[mystima]

people who fly in blue suits with red capes are extremely allergic to kryptonite...

THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!!

zombies can be killed by bashing them with sticks while in beat with any queen song...

love conquers all

[razz]

If someone or something kills your best friend and/or girlfriend, it/he/she will wait while you have a long dramatic conversation with that person, unitl they die in you arms, before deciding to kill you.

[Woofer]

Fireworks and firecrackers are as good as guns if you know how to use them.

[Jackie]

You can be fatally injured and still have a 10 minute long conversation with your friend/boyfriend/girlfriend

[The Lady of Shadows]

the person you suspect the least is usually the person you should suspect the most. . .unless he's not.

[fernandito]

Some people can see dead people, all the time.

7 foot machete-wielding killers have a phobia of water.

CIA (?) agents can pick handcuffs behind their backs, without a lockpick , while doped up.

[Woofer]

CIA (?) agents can pick handcuffs behind their backs, without a lockpick , while doped up.

Can't everyone?

[Woofer]

Evil geniuses will not kill the hero outright but will instead concoct an elaborate and overly complicated killing scheme with many opportunities to fail. And it will.

[The Lady of Shadows]

it's important to take the time, right before you kill your arch-nemesis, to explain your various nefarious plans and evil doings cause it's not like anything bad will ever happen to keep you from killing him. . . .

[Odetta]

If a bomb is set to go off in 30 seconds, you actually have a few minutes.


Bars that are located in the middle of nowhere may likely be a local hangout for vampires.

[fernandito]

If a former comrade tells you that you have 6 minutes before the bomb goes off, he's actually giving you 3.

You die instantly from a bullet to the gut.

Dynamite, gunpowder, and gasoline are cheap.

[Woofer]

You die instantly from a bullet to the gut.

I think that one is:

You either die instantly from a shot to the gut or it is an overlong and exceedingly painful process that your buddies are forced to watch before resuming the fight for their own lives.

[turtlex]

These aren't the droids you're looking for.

[razz]

10 strong, intelligent men, trained for combat, and carrying light, portable, powerful, and them most advanced weaponry known to man escort a woman and her slow, defenseless, child into the the woods. The child will be the only survivor.

[Matt]

You either die instantly from a shot to the gut or it is an overlong and exceedingly painful process that your buddies are forced to watch before resuming the fight for their own lives.

The second part of that is actually true. :beat:

[Rjeso]

Gold bars are easily carted around, and can be carried several at a time.

Nightmares always make you thrash around and mutter in your sleep.

If a hero is fighting a bunch of baddies, the enemies will only attack one at a time.

[Woofer]

You either die instantly from a shot to the gut or it is an overlong and exceedingly painful process that your buddies are forced to watch before resuming the fight for their own lives.

The second part of that is actually true. :beat:

I know, and I can only imagine how horrific that is. In this case, however, I was criticizing movies where everything going on around that situation stops until it's convenient to continue the action. Death and firefights are never convenient in real life. That's why (DTVII spoiler) Roland couldn't be at Jake's side when Jake died. The world keeps on going - even when you need it not to.

[razz]

here's a list of things you learn from movies
What NOT to do if you become Overlord
http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html

[mystima]

teaching humans to fly your alien craft and your language will bring down your destruction and blow up your planet with just one atom bomb on your methane planet.

wrestlers make bad "bad guys" but good governors

smoking in movies acts as a diversion

[Heather19]

Never decide to stray from the highway onto the backroads path. Chances are you won't make it to your destination in one piece.

[Darkthoughts]

That you can steal money from wishing wells, you're just taking back the dreams that didn't come true.

is this from goonies? :couple: lurve
Fo' shizzle :huglove:



Pixie Stix powder and Cap'n Crunch cereal make an interesting sandwich filling.

[Matt]

The killer will NEVER let your boyfriend go if you just do as he says.

[Empath of the White]

Apparently a ghost can freeze time but he can't save your family from midgets in rubber masks.

[The Lady of Shadows]

rest stop bathrooms are haunted

asking the killer why is really dumb - because he's a killer that's why

japanese ghosts are way fucking scarier and deadly then american ghosts

even if you're really scared, curling up in a ball and saying over and over "this isn't happening, this isn't happening" is probably not the best use of your time

[jayson]

When you fly to and from Japan, some airlines have something built into the seat to store your samurai sword.

[Jon]

The pizza delivery guy ALWAYS gets at least oral sex for a tip.


Women enjoy performing oral sex on men.

Women enjoy sex at anytime...any place.

[Odetta]

Sometimes, you just gotta say... "What the fuck"

[The Lady of Shadows]

Sometimes, you just gotta say... "What the fuck"

odetta will you marry me? :wub:



ETA: i know it's illegal in my state. is it legal in canada? :wub: i'll bring you chocolate whenever you want. :: bats eyes just as you taught me ::

[fernandito]

You can get KO'd by a roundhouse kick to the shoulder blade.

Mad scientists/dictator find their plans for world domination/revenge ridiculously funny.

Any vehicle crash will most likely result in an explosion worthy of 10 pieces of C-4.

[Jackie]

Round and round
The world is spinning
When it stops
It's just beginning
Sun comes up
We laugh and we cry
Sun goes down
And then we all die




^ Lets see if anyone can guess where that's from :evil:

[The Lady of Shadows]

how about i just call you samara from now on? :evil:

[Jackie]

MUHAHAHAAHAHA...your good :P

[The Lady of Shadows]

you can get away with murder in italy simply by going to another, ummmm, what's it called? province? cause apparently they don't play well with others. so murder in rome, move to venice.

if someone dies in the grip of a strong enough emotion you can be sure that they will massacre everyone and anyone who comes near the place that they died - even if they just step a toe in the door. and they will be able to cross international borders to follow the people who cross the threshold. so if you do cross it, don't even think about running away.


a robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to be harmed. a robot must obey orders given to it by human beings except when such orders would conflict with the first rule. a robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the first or second rule. unless some super computer robot-controller decides that all humans need ultimate protection. in which case you're all fucked.

[Jackie]

They're here

[The Lady of Shadows]

they've been here the whole freaking time!

[Jackie]

:lol: pretty much

[Odetta]

Sometimes, you just gotta say... "What the fuck"

odetta will you marry me? :wub:



ETA: i know it's illegal in my state. is it legal in canada? :wub: i'll bring you chocolate whenever you want. :: bats eyes just as you taught me ::

It is legal here... I'll book you a flight. :wub:


another thing I learned from the movies...

All you need to know to become a master karate black belt is...

WAX ON, WAX OFF

[sarah]

and PAINT THE FENCE! sheesh, odetta, how could you leave that out?

:P

[Odetta]

:doh:

[sarah]

:lol:

:couple:

[turtlex]

Don't forget "Sand the Floor"

[The Lady of Shadows]

be nice to odetta - she is my new intended! now i just have to find a way to explain it to my husband. :lol:

[mystima]

there's no place like home!
there's no place like home!
there's no place like home!

penguins can take over a ship

god smokes cigars

[fernandito]

You can always win a game at the last second with a 3 pointer / touchdown / field goal / grand slam / goal, so never lose hope!

You only need 2 clips if you're going to take on an army.

Every closing gate/fence in the world makes the same noise.

[Odetta]

along that line... if you punch someone in the face, it makes a smacking sond

[Jackie]

You can pull items AND people out of your dreams :evil:

[razz]

you are NOT a dumb son of a bitch if you bring a knife to a gunfight.

[fernandito]

Some horses are diabetic.

Don't ever ask a guy to say "Please" after he asks you for your clothes, boots, and motorcycle.

[razz]

Shit THAT'S what i was going to say.

he WILL be back. you probably shouldn't be there when he does

[mystima]

some singers can't act(britney spears in crossroads)

robots get depresses

42 is the meaning of life

[Odetta]

If the most instinctual member of your party says "We're all gonna die", then you're all gonna die

[razz]

i someone betrays you,they'll shoot someone, probably your best friend, fatally wounding them, then run off on their own to find the escape chopper, only to be killed by the monster.

[Jean]

all women always keep their mouths open (literally, not figuratively. This way they, presumably, express emotions)

[razz]

Splitting up will not help you look for clues or find a way out quicker. It will get you killed.

[Tiffany]

Women wake up wearing perfectly applied cosmetics and their hair looks great, too.

[fernandito]

The bad guys will always find a way to cut off the power to the entire building.

[Tiffany]

...and people will undoubtedly scream.

[tamez]

...and people will undoubtedly scream.

:lol:

[Matt]

We had a power failure in my town not long ago, I was in the gym playing vollyball...pitch black darkness.

Someone screamed...:lol:

I had no idea that really happened.

[Tiffany]

:lol:

Also, if it's foggy, something bad will happen.

[Still Servant]

Never take your socks and shoes off once you get to the hotel just because some asshole on the plane told you to.

There's no crying in baseball.

A kid left home alone has the potential to be a bad ass.

You're not your fucking khakis.

Even if you are ugly and can't act, you can be a successful actor if you have a cool name.

*looks at Vin Diesel*

By the way, great thread Feev.

[mystima]

if you loose your memory at the beginning of the movie you are the hero and slept with the bad guy. and he/she escapes with the loot(aka money, gun, antidote)... then you kill him/her and say the same line he said to you earlier only better.:shoot:

[Odetta]

If the earth is being threatened to the point humans will be wiped off the face of the earth, the Americans will ALWAYS save the day :doh:

[mystima]

if there is a prophecy made about you and a certain dark lord...it will be that he marked you as his equal and that one of you must die in order for the other to survive...


teachers are werewolves,

muggles can't see dementors but squibs can

[The Lady of Shadows]

it takes 60 seconds (or longer) to trace a phone call made to a house phone ( :nope: )

[Woofer]

teachers are werewolves

My secret is out... although I no longer teach for a living.


Ahem, to the topic:

Headshot. Headshot. Headshot.

[Still Servant]

Trying to get money for a sex change operation is not a good reason to rob a bank.

Even the smallest person can change to course of the future.

[The Lady of Shadows]

teachers are werewolves

My secret is out... although I no longer teach for a living.

<snip>



:lol:

[Jackie]

The only way out is to jump over the moon

[The Lady of Shadows]

when you are home alone (or you're babysitting or whatever) and you hear a spooky noise and go to check it out be sure that the bad guy is standing right behind you in the darkened room (you're just to stupid to realize that someone is sharing your physical space with you).

[Jackie]

Physco killers will NEVER be dead so STOP trying to kill them and haul ass!!!!!!

[The Lady of Shadows]

it is always a bad idea to turn the key, pull the lever, push the button or flip the switch.

[mystima]

taking the red pill will show you the real world

[fernandito]

Whenever you write a story, write it from the ending to the beginning - You can't tell a story if you don't know where it's going.

C.E.O's/C.F.O's have lousy poker faces.

Deadly and highly resourceful ninjas can use fish, salmon, and bass as weapons!

[LadyHitchhiker]

Don't dream it. Be it.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Llamas don't like porkchops.

[Iwritecode]

The internet connects to everything in the movies. You can edit credit records, search hotel registries, lookup police criminal files, search (and edit) drivers license databases, edit social security files and more just using the internet!

You can launch nuclear missles from any bedroom using an analog modem, but only if you know a single secret password.

A hacker can get into the most sensitive computer in the world before intermission and guess the secret password in two tries.

When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

[Empath of the White]

ATMs think Stephen King is an asshole.:wtf:

[fernandito]

Those are awesome! :lol:

:clap:

[Still Servant]

Everybody eats Chinese food with chop sticks.

Chinese food always comes in cartons with some kind of red design on it.

[The Lady of Shadows]

ATMs think Stephen King is an asshole.:wtf:

:lol:

and apparently he makes extra cash as a pizza delivery guy!

[razz]

ATMs think Stephen King is an asshole.:wtf:
And on that note:

ACDC doesn't drive an ACDC van, but they DO follow said van around on a boat


and apparently he makes extra cash as a pizza delivery guy!

As well as a priest. He will also survive a virus that wipes out 99.9% of humanity :P

[fernandito]

If you go to local burger joints, there will never be anyone else in line.

[mystima]

ATMs think Stephen King is an asshole.:wtf:
And on that note:

ACDC doesn't drive an ACDC van, but they DO follow said van around on a boat


and apparently he makes extra cash as a pizza delivery guy!

As well as a priest. He will also survive a virus that wipes out 99.9% of humanity :P

also works as a janitor in a hospital that is always on vacation

[Iwritecode]

If you go into a crowded bar with 2 or 3 of your buddies, there will always be a table or a place at the bar for you to sit.

When you place your order, just say "beer". No need to specify a particular brand or if you want can, bottle or tap.

[KaLikeAWheel]

You should be excellent to each other.

The name of the philosopher, Socrates, is pronounced "So-crates."

Headquarters is a big building where generals meet, but that's not important.

Pro and con of being a genie: Phenominal cosmic power...itty-bitty living space.

Donna

[theBeamisHome]

and apparently he makes extra cash as a pizza delivery guy!

As well as a priest. He will also survive a virus that wipes out 99.9% of humanity :P

AND a weatherman/news anchor.... jack of all trades he is.

[Odetta]

There is no 'try'

[Tiffany]

If you're spooked and about to peek into a room or around a corner, someone will inevitably put their hand on your shoulder and scare the shit outta you.

[razz]

IF you're stoned, you will get eaten by a giant snake.

Also, ravenous beasts will not eat a child. it will look like they are about too, but either their screams will scare the monster off, or somebody will get there in time to stop it, even if the child has wandered away fro mtheir parents, and it would take five minutes of hard running to reach the child in time.

[IWasSentWest]

in cheesy horror films, the bad guy can never be killed by a gun. ever

freddy is coming for you

never make a sequel...ever (ok, there are very few exceptions)

to aliens, we will always be stupid humans

keanu knows kung fu

ants can beat the shit out of mean ole' grasshoppers

[gsvec]

I should make a bucket list and get started.

[fernandito]

Guns never run out of ammo.

Vampires don't use umbrellas.

[obscurejude]

Good guys have good aim.

Bad guys, not so much.

[razz]

criminals tend to hide behind stacks if explosives barrels.

[obscurejude]

From Hot Fuzz

Emptying a clip into the sky while screaming "Noooooooo" is the most compelling film moment and real life cop experience.

[razz]

i love Hot Fuzz. One of the best movies ever

[obscurejude]

Saw it for the first time last night. Enjoyed it greatly.

[Tiffany]

Sidekicks are always short, fat and funny. Or at least two outta three.

[Odetta]

60% of the time, it works everytime

[The Cosmic Geek]

Ghengis Khan's first name was Bob.

Negative energy creates evil pink slime under New York City.

The mean jock in high-school always gets laid out with one punch by the class nerd in the end.

Cheerleaders do fall for nerds.

[fernandito]

You can check into a Vegas hotel room with a head full of acid and no one will suspect a thing.

The highway connecting L.A to Vegas is bat country.

[The Cosmic Geek]

In space no one can hear you scream.

A man can hang over a pit of snakes, get beaten by a giant, bald mechanic, get dragged under a truck, and still look good.

[Brice]

You can check into a Vegas hotel room with a head full of acid and no one will suspect a thing.


This one is actually true, feev. :lol:

[IWasSentWest]

fallen stars are hott chicks named claire daines

[fernandito]

Never ask a super villian how he got his name, especially if his name is Cock Knocker!

[Candice Dionysus]

That as long as your intentions are pure, things will always work out for the best for you, even if you have to go through a whole bunch of bullshit before they do.

[fernandito]

Keanu Reeves has 2 dogs and likes Mexican food :cyclops:

[cozener]

Its bad form for a man to make love with his socks on

The Alamo has no basement

Feeling lucky does not necessarily mean you are lucky

We should do everything in our power to make sure that humpback whales are still around a couple of hundred years from now.

Sitting at your desk with almost nothing to do every day is actually quite common in corporate america but failure to deliver a Blue Letter is grounds for dismissal

There is a much larger difference between the carrying capacities of European and African swallows than most people are aware of and that whether or not the swallow in question is unladen can complicate the comparison dramatically.

Its always a bad idea to put the person you're in love with before your friends

Its always a bad idea to put your friends before the person you're in love with.

Its very important to not reveal to anyone what you're thinking...certainly not anyone outside of your family.

If your dog sees you killed he will avenge you.

Old people know all kinds of shit that you don't...especially if they're Asian.

When presenting himself to a human being God has a tendency to take the form of beloved old men like George Burns or Morgan Freeman. But in heaven he's just a big glowing orb with the voice of Gene Hackman.

Always trust your instincts...even when all logic, everyone around you, and a super computer are telling you otherwise

After beating the crap out of him and cutting open his hand buying your friend lunch might not always restore his loyalty.

X never marks the spot...except when it does

Cannoli are more valuable than guns

The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few (or the one)

Wamprats are not much bigger than two meters

[pathoftheturtle]

Failure to deliver a Blue Letter is grounds for dismissalRight. I mean, relax; I'm not going to add to your troubles. I'm just sayin'.

Nuclear War is kind of like Tic-Tac-Toe.

The fabric of the universe is far from perfect.

White men can't jump.

[mystima]

Dolphins are really from outer space and are here just for the fish.

If you are the chosen one all the girls in wizard school fall in love with you.

if you have been haunted by a demon entity all your life, don't tell your boyfriend, let alone let him tape the experiences because it just makes it mad.

if you are a stunt biker, lawyer, or a nerd in love with a woman, do not make deals with the devil.

[Sickrose]

If you are in the London underground at night dont get on any trains that arrive unexpectedly.

The kid or woman in any family is more attune to creepy goings on in houses.

The man of the family will never believe even in the face of unshakable evidence.

The life span of a gangster is short.

[Seymour_Glass]

This is not just a matter of chance. these strange things happen all the time.

[mystima]

God is really a woman.

if you are out by yourself and in a wheelchair you can use fireworks to subdue a werewolf.

when you die and go to heaven you meet your family but they look different and you can save your wife who is in hell.

[fernandito]

If the person you are and the person you ought to be ever meet up, you should make for a hell of a football star.

[Odetta]

If you aint first, you're last.

[BROWNINGS CHILDE]

If you are ever running from a knife wielding madman...you WILL fall down. Just accept it.

[stone, rose, unfound door]

There are Nazi zombies in Norway.

[IWasSentWest]

never piss off russell crowe

i have a man-crush on riggs and murtaugh

[fernandito]

Japanese commercial directors are very difficult to work with.

[craig85br]

when being pursued by a psycho/monster/murderer hot chicks always run upstairs instead of out the door.

The Nazi's conducted special experiments in Scotland and unleashed HellBoy.

If you are a good guy and you shoot a car's engine it will probably explode.

Dont investigate strange noises, just run the other way!!!

[Odetta]

They mostly come out at night... mostly

[turtlex]

O :wub:

Love the Aliens quote!

[Jean]

women characters are entitled to only two names: Sarah and Sam(antha)

[fernandito]

The following lines are in every slasher movie script :

"Fumble car keys and/or trip on own two feet while running from serial killer."

[LadyHitchhiker]

If there's a creepy castle and you're looking for help there because you have a flat, mayhem will ensue.

Oh and I learned the time-warp from movies... :rock:

[mystima]

if you are genetically altered by the umbrella corporation, you will fight other genetically altered person and find out that said person is your friend that was taken away a few months earlier.