PDA

View Full Version : Eternal Distance



Jackie
09-17-2008, 05:33 PM
One thing you guys should know about me is i love to write. And i write a lot of poetry. I searched the threads and came up with nothing previously realted to poetry so i decided to creat this thread where i will share my poetry to get you opnions and where other people can share their poetry. [Also if you owould just like to post a poem you like and the reason you like it that would be ok too. Just make sure to credit the author :)]

Ok so he's the first poem of mine i will post on here. It's fairly new [pretty much just wrote it last week] and i've made a lot of revisons to it and im not sure that im done revising it yet but here it is.


Piano Keys

Why can't the keys on this piano,
play that old song
The cords must be broken
That must be the answer I'm sure
But how to fix them I'm not,
for it must be done with care,
or the evidence it was once broken,
will forever remain there
It would never be the same
Some keys might not sound right
Some not at all
But with the right care
It might someday, hope to be repaired,
and no one may notice,
that a defect was ever there
With the right delicasy and care,
the keys on this piano,
might someday be able to play that old song,
and when that time comes,
maybe then I'll have my voice,
and be able to sing along

Daghain
09-17-2008, 05:55 PM
Nice Jackie!

Actually, there are all kinds of threads in Turtleback Lane (http://www.thedarktower.org/palaver/forumdisplay.php?f=16) for member's writings - I'll get a mod to move this for you. :)

Jackie
09-17-2008, 06:01 PM
Ah, yea I'm so new to this site and so horrible at finding the right place to post a thread ><
But thanks for helping me get it moved then
And thank, i think this is my favorite poem I've written so far :)

Daghain
09-17-2008, 06:26 PM
No problem, that's why we're here. :)

Jean
09-17-2008, 10:45 PM
hi Jackie, you didn't have to worry, bears are vigilant here! http://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k291/mishemplushem/Facilitation/bear_wub.gif

Now, would you like to leave the title of your thread "Poetry", or would you give it another name (you could change it in the future if it stopped satisfying you)?

Jackie
09-18-2008, 09:29 PM
[A poem i wrote off the top of my head yesterday originally posted on FranÁois Villon Contest thread]


His King is Dead

His King is dead, His army is defeated.
His city burns in ruin.
He stands watching helplessly.
Frozen in time and space.
He is unable to fix, the damage that has been done.
He can not claim a victory, this is a battle that has not been won

All hope is lost,
In the flames of his lost King.
His city lost, his army too,
And nothing he could ever do
He stands and watches
Tears burn his eyes
As the flames engulf,
what was left of his pride

His King is dead, His army is defeated
He walks away, shoulders slumped over
His feet drag in the ash,
that was once a beautiful city
That once had a king,
that once had an army,
that once protected his city
where people use to live in harmony
But now nothings left, but ash, regrets and loss

Oh, and only him
Don't forget about him
He is left to wallow in his sorrow
Of the greatest loss of all
As he stood there and watched helpless
As the crimson king made the tower fall

Jean
09-18-2008, 10:54 PM
so, do we keep the title of this thread just "poetry"?

Jon
09-18-2008, 11:29 PM
Good work Ma'am. Its nice to have another poet around.

Jackie
09-19-2008, 07:36 PM
Um, I'm not sure can we even change it? And if we can what do you sugest we change it to Jean?

Thanks Jon :D, Do you wirte poetry?

Jean
09-19-2008, 10:30 PM
http://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k291/mishemplushem/Facilitation/bear_shocked.gif he writes fantastic poetry! go to the Index (in TBack Lane) and look under "Jon", you will be surprised!

About the title: you can't change it, but I can. Think of the name you would like to give your first Poetry Collection if it was to be published?

Jackie
09-20-2008, 10:16 AM
Hmm I'm not sure, I'll definitly have to think on that, if i come up with anything I'll be sure to post or message you. :)

Jackie
09-20-2008, 08:28 PM
Each Time I Look at You

Each time I look at you
I wonder if the love i see is true
Your known to lie,
Your know to deceive
So why on earth should i believe,
That your love is true?
Or that your heart is pure?

I sigh and wonder if i should walk through that door
Shall i take the chance?
And possibly the fall
Should i believe what you say?
Forgetting your past,
and your previous reputations

When i think about this i wonder
Is it even worth the fall?
Are you worth risking it all?
I hear sometimes, people change
But does that apply to a person like you?
I just have such a hard time
Believing your feeling are true

I look in your eyes
and i want to believe
But my heart doesn't let me
It reminds me you deceive

So this time I'll walk away
With my heart still intact
Because it and i have made a pact
To stick together
and not let you break us
because your known for just that

So with that said,
Iíll turn away
With out looking back
Because Iíd rather not think
Of what we could have had

Jackie
09-20-2008, 10:06 PM
Same Old Scene

Here we are again
Standing in the rain
This sad old scene
Is always the
Different times,
Different places
But always us
Drifting apart

Apparently this isnít suppose to be
Because if it was
This scene wouldnít be the same
It wouldnít keep ending like this
Or fit so perfectly into the game

Canít you see, canít you see
You and I arenít suppose to be
We should just do ourselves a favor
And end it all now
Once and for all

All those long lonely nights
Not sleeping at all
Days without eating
Itís not healthy at all

We are destroying ourselves
And destroying each other
There arenít many more times we can take this fall
During the next one,
I feel weíll lose it all

Our friendship,
Our trust
The faith we have in others
The faith we have in finding love
So letís just say goodbye now
To spare us of that fate

We have our whole lives ahead of us
One day weíll find where we belong
And whom we belong with in that place
But itís not with each other
The truth, that it is

We both know itís better
To just walk away
And if itís really meant to be
Our paths may cross again
If thatís true, I can almost promise you
Weíll see each other again someday

And if we are
To see each other again
Weíll decide from there,
What we will do
Maybe in the future it will be possible
For me to be with you

Jackie
09-21-2008, 11:10 PM
Last Breath

This may very well be my last breath
Right here, where I lay
In this cold hospital bed
The room smells of disease and death
It’s so cold that I can see my breath

I lay staring at the ceiling
Wondering,
Is it really going to end like this?
Is that really all?
Lying right here in this hospital bed?

I feel so weak
My heart so small
I’ve never known so much pain
And some how I just know,
I will never feel anything again

My chest tightens up
It’s getting harder to breath
I just want the pain to go away
Even if it means
That I will never see another day

I hear the sound of alarms now
As my heart rate plummets
Things around me start to fade to black
I’m going now, and quickly
No medical attention can stop that

The doctors and nurses surround me
They look worried,
Tying to decide what to do
But they are left flabbergasted
Because there’s nothing they can do
They’ve already tried everything
This is the end it’s true

The sirens they sing
And slowly die away
They are now pulling the sheet over my face
Can it be?, It can’t!
I can’t really be dead!
I can’t die here!
Not in this hospital bed!

I’m not ready to say goodbye
This isn’t the way it was suppose to end
My life cut short, on this hospital bed
If I still could, I’d weep
But my eyes, now life less,
Have no tears to spare


All that’s left is a memory
That I was once there
Living my life with out a care
Slowly fading from the fabric of reality
Until I simply wasn’t there

But none of that matters
It’s all over now
Nothing can beat death
Or change reality
This is just the way it must be
Goodbye everyone,
I’ve finally been set free

Jon
09-22-2008, 06:37 PM
It is so awesome to see a long poem that maintains it's structure (metaphorically speaking.) I struggle with that so much.


And thank you Jean, for such a wonderful endorcement above.

Jackie
09-22-2008, 06:51 PM
Thanks Jon :D

Jackie
09-26-2008, 08:19 PM
hmm not my best, but what ever, tell me what you think



Empty Field of Ruin

This empty field of ruin
Was once full of life
Filled to the brim,
With beautiful flowers
That sang endlessly in the wind

This field empty of ruin
Now browned with death
Deterioration of life,
as far as the eye can see
A ruin of what once was beauty
That will lay in peoples hearts for eternity

This field of empty ruin
Sees no light of day
The rain never falls here
It is just left to decay

One day the flowers,
Just started to wilt away
And everyone ignored it
Watching it’s beauty die away

There’s nothing anyone can do now
To bring back it’s life
The field will never sing again
Everlasting beauty eventually meets it’s end

Looking at this field
You would never imagine it that way
That once this field was beautiful
And sang so softly
in the sunshine of the first spring day

But now this field
Will never return in May
Clouds block the sunlight
Every spring day

The sun has gone,
The rain hides in the gloomy clouds
Of the first spring day
The crisp wilted flowers
Slowly sway in the wind,
Singing their goodbye

There’s no hope in their voice
They know one day
That a parking lot will be here
In this field where they lay
They know this as everyone knows
Beauty always fades away

Jackie
10-18-2008, 06:57 PM
Despair

There is no hope
Only despair
Spelled out in the air
Dispersing from your mouth

Screaming, from every word
You ever whispered
Dangling in the threads of time
These words that cant not escape your mind

Despair is spelt all around
Written in every word and sound
These is no escape, not from despair
For me, for you
It’s always there

Jackie
10-18-2008, 07:13 PM
Death


Rose pedals crumble
Beneath the autumn sun
Falling to the earth
Shriveling against the cold ground
Silently departing without a sound

Cold steam,
Rolls off your breath
As the wind, whispers in your ear
A cold familiar song
It dances in your ear
A song you can not escape
A song that even the deaf can hear

You can not run away
It will always catch up
It can not be out smarted
Nor tricked or misled
It will get you in your sleep
In what was the comfort of your bed

It taps on your shoulder
And you must turn around
You do not have a choice
Everyone must turn around sometime
If you do not, it will nibble away at your mind

Eventually you will,
You will turn around
Because everyone does
No one can resist
Deaths first, and final kiss

Jackie
10-18-2008, 07:21 PM
Reality

Don't cry for me, cry for yourselves
For all your losses
Dreams, and hopes
The reality you knew
was nothing but a hoax

I wish I could tell you different
But that would be a lie
You’ll find out yourselves
On that day which you die

It was all a hoax
None but an illusion
Brought on by your mind
And mine

A story thought up
Although its very far
From once upon a time
Because once upon a time
Always ends with happily ever after
But after this you’ll see
Far from happy you’ll be

Reality is not what we see
It’s not what we breath
Not what we hear
And not what we touch
Our brain deceives us you see
This is a reality that will never be

It’s really a good one,
A trick I mean
For your brain to pull it off
And make you think
Your feeling reality
But the truth is, you see
There is no reality

William50
10-18-2008, 08:14 PM
I really liked Reality and Despair. You have skills! :drool:

Jackie
10-19-2008, 09:00 AM
Thanks William :)

Jon
10-19-2008, 11:53 PM
I really liked Reality and Despair. You have skills! :drool:


I must say that I like "Death" better...but she dooo have sum skllz!

Jackie
10-25-2008, 07:51 PM
I Want to Tell You

I want to be there,
There in your arms
Close enough, to hear your breath
And feel your heart beating

I want to be the reason,
For the smile on your face
And the reason,
That your heart does race

I want to run my fingers through your hair
Lean close to you and whisper,
That no matter what I’ll always be there
And that I’ll never let go

I want to sleep next to you,
Keeping you warm on cold nights
Falling asleep in each others arms,
Sounds so nice

I want to spend all day with you
Talking about absolutely nothing
Just enjoying each others company
There’s no one else, I’d rather do nothing with

I want to walk with you,
Us hand and hand
Even if we were silent
Because sometimes words can’t describe it

I want to let you know,
What my true feelings are
And that there’s nothing in the world
I want more, then to be there in your heart

Jackie
10-27-2008, 11:02 AM
Crying

I cry in my heart
When everyone’s around
But no one will ever know
Because on the outside I don’t make a sound

I cry when I’m alone
Which it seems is pretty often
Especially at night, when all seems dead
And I lay there alone in my bed

I cry myself to sleep
Because there’s always something wrong
It’s stupid to have hope
Hope is always wrong

I cry in the rain
Because no one can tell
I’d rather not show emotions
It’s a weakness known too well

I cry in my sleep
For the dreams that will never be reality
Because a dream, is just a fantasy,
One which will never be

Crying is a weakness
That I will never show
I’m always crying
But no one will ever know

Jackie
11-01-2008, 07:06 PM
Never Enough

There will always be,
Another step in front of me
Another million behind
I’ll never get ot the top of that landing
I’ll always be far behind

I’ll always come up short
There is always an inch to grow
Always a pound to lose
Another hair to trim
Plastic surgery to be done

I’ll never be the pretty girl
Or the skinny girl
Never the girlfriend type
Never worthy of that title
Eternally alone

My heart will forever ach
Will the loneliness in side
Drowning in my own sorrow
Behind all of this I will hide
I’m never good enough for myself
I’ll never be good enough for anyone else

Jackie
11-09-2008, 10:30 PM
Mask

There is something more,
Then meets the eyes
Beneath the mask I wear
The truth lies

Beneath all this
These costumes I wear
The real me lays dormant
But yes, itís there

Laying there,
Like a dead cell
Awaiting an electric charge
To awaken me

It is deep in there
Beneath all of this
This everyday charade
Where I hide face beneath this mask

What am I afraid of?
Why donít I just come out?
And be true to myself, and the rest of the world?
Because they would reject me, no doubt

It will always be me
Pretending to be someone else
This girl you see everyday
Is not my true self

Jackie
11-14-2008, 06:48 PM
The Past is the Answer for my Current Destruction and my Future Demise

These memories are there
Just to haunt me
Reminding me of a past
That will once again never be

They scream in my mind
Endlessly pounding against my brain
There is no way to silence them
I can not take this pain

Blinding me
Like bright neon lights
There is no way to shut them down
Forever blinded I will be

There is no hope of a future
I can not go on like this
The only thing these memories left me
Are the scars, with in that you can not see

With those scars on my heart
And this screaming in my head
I must say goodbye
There is no pain for the dead

Jackie
11-17-2008, 01:17 AM
Insomnia

There is no sleep
For these restless eyes
These eyes have see hell
They can not erase the memories,
Of what they have witnessed

This restless heart
That tosses and turns beneath my chest
Aching with the painful wounds
That seem to tear open
At the slightest touch

My mind, also restless
Tosses back and forth
Thoughts and memories
A past I can not return to
The things I can not fix

The living nightmares haunt me
Do not let me rest
They want to suffer
Awake I must be
For them to make me suffer

These things they make me think
The accusations they make
Somehow I can not deny them
They must be true
It is why I can not sleep

My eyes seem to dry
The clock seems to slow
I lay staring at the ceiling
Counting, counting
Trying to drift to sleep

There is no way
Insomnia laughs in my face
Holding me in its grip
It will not let me go
It will hold on forever

Sleepless nights
Tiresome afternoons
Insomnia is determined to drag me to insanity
A place I do not know
A place I refuse to go

Trying to get some sleep
I lay and close my eyes
But all I can see is everything,
And everyone I despise
Haunting me, Taunting me

Damn you insomnia
Damn you to hell
One day I will be loose,
loose of your hellish grip

In my face ,
you will laugh no more
I will close the door of my mind,
Forever to you
And know of you no more

Jackie
11-17-2008, 01:46 AM
A Murder by Cupid

Hit with an immediate sting of pain
Impaled through chest
Blood droplets splashing against the ground

“What is this? What is this? An arrow I see
Has impaled me right through the heart?
In hopes of me being in love must it be.”

The bitter sweet, coppery taste of blood
Sugar coated, by the pounds
To seem like love

“Well purely mistaken it will be.
I am sorry dear arrow
Let down will your hopes be”

Trying to yank it free
Yet it seems to be stuck, it is in there pretty deep
Just my luck

“In there you may be
Although I will not fall for your tricks
A fool, can not be mistaken for me”

Closing my heart, to its poison I will
The poison will not be allowed to flow through my veins
And cause me a life time of pain

“Oh arrow, dear arrow mistaken you be
Take your poisons of false love some where else
A home for them I will not be”

But hold out for long
Is a feat no one can, for when the dreaded arrow has you in its grip
Doomed you be, cause there it will stay until the poisons seep in

“Arrow oh arrow, how could I have been so wrong.
What you let seep in is not poison, not poison at all
But sweet song”

The song does sound sweet, Hypnotizing melody
For sweet it will not be for long
My doomed friend, you have yet to see

“Arrow oh arrow, you dreaded thing!
You have tricked me, to let your poison seep in,
Doomed am I now how hypnotizing your false love could be”

The poison, the poison!
You fool you let it in!
It is not wise to allow yourself to be so misled!

“Dear trickster arrow, you have really done me in
My heart bleeds the poison, for ever locked in.
Oh whoa, whoa is me, I lay here dying with my heart in my hand, the poison it drips and fills the floor like grains of sand”

Eventually it will fill, the hour glass is tipped
Only time will tell, but your fate has been sealed
The poison will fill to the brim, and suffocate your heart from within

This happens to many, so many unexpecting hearts
That can not handle this poison, that thrives within these arrows
Just another tragic death, by the hand of cupid, a multi murder he is
Just greatly disguised, as love, the poison that is his

flaggwalkstheline
11-17-2008, 10:04 PM
ooo jackie ur good:clap:

Jackie
11-17-2008, 10:30 PM
Thank you flaggwalkstheline :)

Lady_Macbeth
11-18-2008, 04:10 PM
Amazing stuff. I loved Insomnia, I've always liked free verse poetry as opposed to ryming, both writing and reading it. Keep up the good work!

Jackie
11-18-2008, 07:09 PM
Haha thanks Mandy :)
I wrote Insomnia like two nights ago when I couldn't sleep :lol:
And yes, I too love free verse a lot of my poetry usually turns out to be free verse, but I do love my ryming poetry too :)

Lady_Macbeth
11-18-2008, 08:18 PM
Haha thanks Mandy :)
I wrote Insomnia like two nights ago when I couldn't sleep :lol:
And yes, I too love free verse a lot of my poetry usually turns out to be free verse, but I do love my ryming poetry too :)

Yeah, I'm gonna try and write something rhyming too, at least once lol.

Jackie
11-19-2008, 02:36 PM
Tower

Thousands of feet in the air
Every morning to every evening
She sits at a single window in despair
She looks down upon the world
How the people live their lives
The children, the husbands and their wives

She watches them everyday
And thinks how lucky they are
To be able to frolic their freedom away
She wishes so much
To be a part of them
But forever trapped in this tower is she

Imprisoned until deaths dark wing, brushes against her cheek
She wants so bad
To live a normal life
To have a home, and children, and to be a husbands wife
She looks down and sighs
She looks down and cries

She contemplates jumping
Almost everyday
It would be a quick and easy way out
It’s a pretty far fall
But when she hit the hard earth
She would only feel pain for a bit

Maybe it would be worth it
And if she did die
She may go to hell
She is not too certain
But no one can ever tell

She just wants to let go
To finally be let free
But these cold stone walls
Imprison her, she is as lonely as can be

She wants to know love
Wants to escape and never look back
But that all just a far off dream for her
Because she will never be able to break free

Jackie
11-19-2008, 02:49 PM
Strings

Bonded by these stings
She walks upon the frost bitten ground
On these strings she can not wander far
She is always tied down

She looks for an escape
Around every corner
A way to detach these strings of hers
But she fears there is no way
These dreaded stings seem like they are going to stay

She wishes every day
Just wishes, wishes
Herself away
She wants to be able
To just let go
But no, oh no these dreaded strings will not go

She walks in pain
Complete agony
Just wanting to let go
There must be some way
One day, she keeps thinking to herself
One day these strings will be away
One day I will move on and leave them behind
Forgotten like a breeze in the desert
She will just be swept away

And finally it happens
All so suddenly
Something no one every expected
Till this day they still can not believe
They woke one morning
To just find her gone
Just like that, she left nothing behind
Except those old strings
To which she is no longer bound

She is finally free to live her life with out strings
To constantly hold her back
Or hold her down
She can now soar to great highs
She is lifted off the ground
Strings left behind
Where ever she may now be
I promise you this
For once in her life
She is finally happy

This was just me being bored, completly spur of the moment, bear with me I'm pretty tired at the moment too, I may revise this sometime later.

Jackie
11-28-2008, 08:03 AM
Giving Up

I give up trying
I’m sick of crying
You are not really worth it after all
If you are going to be this way
Then we’d both be better off if I didn’t stay
Even better if I did not say
The reason I can not say

You have changed so much
You do not even realize it
You so oblivious
Blind to the fact
That she manipulates you like that
The whole world sees it
So why can not you
Just open your eyes
And look around for once
In the past three years

Look what she has done to you
Changed your life completely
All because you let her
No one has to wonder
Who wears the pants
Because everyone can plainly see
That she does

You let her do this to you
Do not try to say you didn’t
Do not try to say you make your own decisions
Because you do not
And I think so where inside you know that
Maybe one day you will finally realize
But by then it will be too late for that
Because you have lost me now
I am very far away

I do not think I can forgive
Not after all you have done and said
If I forgave you so easily
I could not forgive myself
And neither could anyone else
They all see you for what you are
And maybe you were always this way
I just took a while to notice
Or maybe she brought it out
Into the open air where I can see it

Either way, I am all grown up now
And I finally see the truth
And frankly I must say it hurts
Because I thought I knew you
But I was so wrong
There is so much I did not know
And now that I do
I give up

There is no way to please you
There is no way to go back
Because I don’t think you even care now
I think you have forgotten what we had
It does not matter now though
It is all in the past
A place where we can never go back
But I will always remember
How you use to be
And what she did to change that
And how you just up and left me

Jackie
11-28-2008, 08:11 AM
This was really random spur of the moment I honestly don't know where it came from lol



Yesterdays Hit Song

Today is dead
Yesterday is gone
And on the radio
All that plays is the new hit song
Who is it by
No one really cares
Because it does not matter
It is just the song the people are here for
The person who sings it is a nobody
Just another person
Who does not really matter to the world
Complete nonexistent
Except for the fact of that one hit song
Which in the next month are so
Will probably be gone
Just like that person
Who ever her or she may be
Will one day be dead
Just like you and me
And then be forgotten
Just like everyone else
Death has a way of doing that
Wiping a person from our mind
Like they were never there
Dead like yesterdays hit song
Who was that by again?

Jackie
11-28-2008, 08:20 AM
Always There

You are always there
Right there in my mind
I want to shut you up
Shut you down
But I canít

Cause you are always there
Always there
There in my mind
You never shut up
Never back down
Your always there

There is no escape
I want you there
But I need you to go
Thereís got to be a way
Some better place I know

Always there, always there
You never sleep
Not even in my dreams
Your always there
But now you need to go
So pack your bags
Walk out that door

I just want you to know
That your always there
Always there
In the back of my mind
You never shut up
You never back down
And your always there
Always there
In my mind

Jackie
11-28-2008, 08:38 AM
So Wrong

Life should not be like this
It is really not fair
How one day someone can be right there
And then the next day be gone
Their life just wound down
Like the end of a song

Every thing is always so wrong
Nothing ever seems to go right
It does not ever get better
I am just a miserable mess
Every thing is falling apart so quickly

I wish there was some way to stop it
Or just press rewind
And start all over
Right from the beginning
And forget that any of this ever happened

I just want to burn
Every memory out of my mind
Forgetting is easier
Then dealing with the truth
And trying to put the pieces back together

My heart is far away from here
In a completely different reality
I do not belong here
It is not impossible to see
I would be happier some where else

I would be happier as someone other then myself
I just want to get away
Leave and never look back
And if someone ever asks me about my past
I’ll just tell them it is something I never had

Lady_Macbeth
11-28-2008, 08:46 AM
Very nicely done. Obvious I'm sure to anyone who knows you, and even more intriguing to those who don't know the back-story. Honest to God, you should show some of these poems to the person they're about, see how he reacts. Anywho, keep up the good work!

Jackie
11-28-2008, 09:33 AM
Thanks ^_^ ANd they aren't all about one person they are about a few different people depending on which poem that is. for example 'Always There' isn't about him and neither is 'So wrong" or 'Yesterdays Hit Song'

Lady_Macbeth
11-28-2008, 09:57 AM
'Always There' isn't about him and neither is 'So wrong" or 'Yesterdays Hit Dong'

(Yesterday's Hit Dong! Sorry, I had to LOL @ that :rofl:)

And yes, I know that. I actually just read and commented on 'giving up' before you posted the other 3 (which where also very good by the way.)

Jackie
11-28-2008, 03:09 PM
OPSSSSS MAJOR TYPO ROFLMFAO

Oh, ok thanks lol

Jon
11-29-2008, 02:41 AM
I like the concept (and the poem) "Yesterday's Hit Song."

Jackie
11-29-2008, 08:22 AM
Thanks Jon :D

Jackie
11-29-2008, 06:13 PM
Confusion

I keep on trying
You keep on lying
I ask myself
Why do you even bother anymore
Is it cause you care
But don’t want to admit
Who really knows

You just come up to me
And tell me you care
You tell me you have changed
You wanted me to trust you right away
Well how you expect me
to just forget everything
When you told me yourself
How too forgiving I was

Maybe you are right
Maybe I forgive to easily
Then why would you come to me
And expect immediate forgiveness
Just like that
What makes you so different from everyone else
You say I forgave too easily

Some of what you say
Seems not to be truth
Because I just can not believe
Some of the things you have told me
Things you say people have said
You might just be making it up
To try and gain my trust

So now I lay here confused
Thinking about you
And I realize I do not really know what to think
Should I be happy you say you gave up
Or should I be said
Because maybe some part of me did like you
I may never know
Cause my heart tells me to give up on you

Jackie
11-29-2008, 06:34 PM
Emotions

I am at a point
Where I do not know
What to think anymore
Or how to feel
My emotions are a mystery to me
They keep going off
In so many different directions
I can not really keep track
I have lost hold of every thing
I am pretty sure of that

But of course I will not know
Because I can not keep a hold
Of my emotions anymore
I wish I could just lock them away
And feel no more
I know that would be better
Then I would not be under stress
I would not have to worry
About what to say
I would not be so confused

I wish I could know no confusion
If only for a day
A day of salvation
A day just to rest
And not worry about the world
As it comes crashing down

Feeling are such a weakness
I need to learn how to turn them off
Because that is the only way
I my ever hope to get through life

Emotionless
That would be best
Emotions just cause trouble
And seem to get in the way
So I am just going to take them all
And lock them away

Maybe some day in the future
I can unlock them
Maybe then I would be able to handle them
For right now they are too much
So goodbye to my emotions
I am throwing away the key
My heart aches too much
For you and I to be

Jackie
11-29-2008, 07:15 PM
About A Boy

This is just another poem about a boy
The one you love to hate
The one I want to date
The one that I know it will never go anywhere with

I try so hard not to think about him
But he always seems to be on my mind
When I wake up, when I fall asleep
And even whilst I dream

I try so hard not to like him
Cause I know it will get me now where
But it is so hard to deny
And I can not hide it from myself

There are so many emotions
When I think about him
And so much confusion should I just trust him
I really want to, but I have not the slightest idea what to do

When I think about him
When I see him
When I talk to him
I am filled with a warmth I feel I never felt before

I am just so confused
I really do not know
What if it is all a trick
I am so afraid for that to be true

It is just a tug of war with my emotions
Because this boy has my heart
And I really do not know why
I really want him to care, and I think he may
But I think that I am afraid of that
More then anything
The truth is I care too
And I want to let him know
Even though I know he will not always be there

Jackie
11-29-2008, 09:20 PM
Heart Away From Home

Unlike the rest of me
My heart is not here
It resides some where else
In a far away land
Looking for love
Searching for hope
Trying to find its way home

Or perhaps it is me
Who should be doing the looking
The looking for my heart
Because maybe it knows better then me
And has found its true home
And now waits only for me

I will one day
Leave this place behind
Like dust it the wind
I will travel the world in its entirety if I must
Because one day I hope
To find the place where I so truly belong
Where my heart and I can be whole
And life is once again a beautiful song

One day dear heart
You may no longer ache with loneliness
For I may join you
Then and only then can we be at complete peace
Then can true love be found

One day dear heart I will find you
And we will truly be home
Right where we belong
Once we find home
Never again will you be alone

Jackie
11-30-2008, 10:55 AM
Dancing in the Rain

Twirling in the rain
Arms wrapped around each other
Shoes drenched
Splashing through the puddles
Soaked to the bone
In sodden clothes

Not caring about the wet
Not giving a damn about the cold
Living for the moment
In each others eyes
The world seems to slow
All else seems not to matter

People pass by
Hurrying as they do
Afraid of the rain
Not wanting to ruin their hair
Their name brand shoes
Ignorant of all else but them self

We laugh at them
As they hurry on by
They look at us like we are insane
And that only makes us laugh harder
Who cares what they think
They mean nothing when I am in your arms

Time does not matter anymore
There is no where to go
When it is just me and you
Nothing else matters
It is just me and you
Right here, right now

Yes we are those crazy people
Who do not care what you think
We live in our own moment
In each others arms
Dripping wet
And you can bet on the fact that we do not care
Because it is just us right here

Jackie
12-01-2008, 12:22 AM
This one I see more as a song because that's how it came into my head..with a tune instead of a rhyme


Damage

Do you really try
Do you even care
That you once told a little girl
That you’d always be there
But you’ve left her to die
She has spent so many nights crying
And now you don't even care
You don’t want to be there

Why does my world come crashing down
Why does my heart not make a sound
Was it impossible for you
To see all the damage you could do

Shes given you so many chances
But I think she gives up now
don’t ask me how its true
The answer is deep inside of you
Just look around
And see all the damage you have done
This was a battle that could not be won
You found something better
You left her forever
And now you’ve lost her love
So just go back to what you thought was better
Because you have lost her forever

Why does my world come crashing down
Why does my heart not make a sound
Was it impossible for you
To see all the damage you could do

All she ever wanted
Was for you to be there
For you just to care
But you left her to die
You left her to cry
And shes gone forever
All because you thought you found something better
Do you see the damage you have done
The battle that could not be won
Over something that could never be better
But its too late to be sorry now
Because she is gone forever

Why does my world come crashing down
Why does my heart not make a sound
Was it impossible for you
To see all the damage you could do


Why does my world come crashing down
Why does my heart not make a sound
Was it impossible for you
To see all the damage you could do

Jackie
12-14-2008, 04:59 PM
Falling

No ground beneath me
Nothing to steady myself on
Just the empty air around me

This dark empty space
No light to be shed
The dead need no light to survive

Counting down
Day after day
I am not really sure how much time is left

It seems to be for ever
But I know it wont be
I can feel the ground getting closer

Right beneath me
Solid reality
I have not hit the ground yet I can already feel the pain

It burns through me
These flames of pain
I anticipate the moment when I can feel them no more

Finally the pain streams out of me
In flowing rivers of red
Drowning in the sea of the dead

Silence
Darkness
It is all over now

Jackie
01-04-2009, 05:01 PM
Murderer In The Mirror

In The Ball Room
Across the hall
With a knife
And a hatred so strong

Looking into
A sea of shimmering silver
Completely aware
Of what she was about to do

She looked her victim
In the eyes
The woman she hated at first
But had now come to despise

The knife shining in her hand
Gleaming with thirst for a river so red
Hungering for flesh
So porcelain white

She showed no fear
Showed no shame
Knowing that if she was ever found out
There would be a blush to her name

She finally decided
That she had procrastinated enough
And with out hesitation
Plunged the blade deep into her victims breast

Blood rushed out
To greet the night
Fresh red droplets plinked softly
Soiling the smooth surface of a silver sea

Watching the light drain out of her victims eyes
She shared the pain
This use to be a woman
She felt she knew so well


She watched her victim
Sink to the floor
crumbling into a life less ball
It’s finally over after all

She turned and walked
To the door where she had entered
But she wouldn’t be returning
From where she had come
not after she had committed the crime has been done
She entered the white light
Goodbye
Goodnight

Jackie
02-05-2009, 12:13 PM
The Worst Thing to Happen to the Best Thing

This sucks so bad
I thought you cared
But I was wrong
It was never there

I don’t know why
It was you
That I finally gave
My first chance to

Maybe I was stupid
Maybe I was wrong
But for once in my life
I let hope get a hold of my heart completely

All I ever wanted to do
Was spend time with you
Hold you close and look into your eyes
And feel your heart close to mine

Falling asleep next to you that night
Was the sweetest thing ever
I only wish
That it could have lasted forever

I was always so happy to be with you
The feeling of your arms around me
Was the greatest thing ever
Even on my worst days it always made me feel better

Even better was your kiss
You were my first
And I was glad it was you
Because kissing you was the best feeling ever

I don’t want to say goodbye
Why does this always happen to me?
As soon as something good starts to happen
My life falls to pieces in front of me

Jon
02-12-2009, 10:05 PM
Jackie...don't take this wrong but I LOVE the title!

I'm big on titles. You gotta catch the eye.

Jackie
02-13-2009, 03:39 PM
Jackie...don't take this wrong but I LOVE the title!

I'm big on titles. You gotta catch the eye.

haha no thanks I like to come up with creative titles too, you know catch the readers eye I like to think of the title as the cover art for the poem

Jackie
02-26-2009, 02:15 PM
Slowly Dying

As I dig this blade into my wrist
I think of all the happiness I’ve missed
All the laughter that could have been heard from me
All the smiles I keep hidden
So no one will ever see

I’ve given up
Trying to be happy
It will obviously never be
That sun that shown down on me
When I was a child
Will never again shine on me

The person I once was
Isn’t me anymore
She was left outside
Left to cry
Left to die

It doesn’t matter anymore
No matter how much blood I loose
The pain wont bleed away
No matter how dry my eyes are from crying
These terrible feelings are here to stay

Physical pain is nothing
Compared to the emotional that I feel
I would do anything to make it go away
But this pain is here to stay
I’m slowly dying everyday
Its painful
But its just easier this way

Jackie
02-26-2009, 02:26 PM
Leaving

Its been so long
I’ve spent too much time here
Its time for me to say goodbye
Please don’t make this hard
AS goodbyes always are
Leaving now is just best for me
Best for everyone
You’ll see
Don’t waste your tears on me
Don’t waste your time worrying
Or pretending to care
So we will just say goodbye
Without a hug or kiss
That will just make it harder
On me not you
Because its you ill miss
So ive packed my bags
Im on my way
I wish I could say
That I will see you again some day
But once I leave
I can never come back
Not to this place
Lets leave it at that
I’ve been searching for so long
And I have finally found it
The courage to leave
And that is today
So goodbye
I’m leaving, leaving today

Jackie
02-26-2009, 02:32 PM
Pain No More

Skin as pale as parchment
Dry lifeless eye
No tears left to cry
A heart with out a beat
Lungs with out breath
Veins with out blood
There is nothing left
One last lifeless thud
On the bathroom floor
Completely still
Not a sound to be heard from this girl
She finally gave up
She finally gave in
And now there is no more
Of that completely unbearable pain
That she held inside for so long
All the pain from yesterday and more
Now resides in a red puddle on the floor

Jackie
02-26-2009, 02:38 PM
Different

Right here
Right now
Different some how
Same face
Same name
But some how different
Her hearts not the same

You cant stay the same forever
People always change
But this happen so drastically
And in such a rush
Almost as if over night
Like some kind of internal bug

Different here
Different now
Same face
Same name
But definitely not the same
I don’t know why this happened right now
She’s just different some how

Jackie
02-26-2009, 02:54 PM
My Mind Is Playing Twister With My Head

I’ll be okay
For right now
For today
Maybe that is
If they don’t break me down
don’t break me right now
In a sense I’m already broken
Yet still holding on somehow

Holding on by a thread
An inch away from falling off the edge
All these thoughts and feels
Playing twister in my head
All the words that were ever said
Repeating, repeating in my head
All the moments
Replaying, replaying in my head

As I lay in my bed
Unable to sleep
Unable to eat
Unable to control it anymore
So many questions
I don’t know how to answer
Or rather decide

Should I just let go ?
Cut that last thread?
Should I just jump off?
And hold my breath bracing myself for impact?
Can I face this world?
Or am I ready to die?
Why the fuck do I always stay up and cry?
What do I do now?

So many questions
No answers to go with them
Just me left here
Contemplating in my head
Searching for the answers
I just might dread
I don’t know what to do
But lay here and cry
Lay here
And just possibly die

Jon
02-26-2009, 06:07 PM
Yes... sometimes answers are prisons.

Jackie
02-27-2009, 12:55 PM
Broken Inside

As the blood runs down my eyes
Erasing my memories
Of looking in your eyes
So much pain
So much stress
My heart once again in distress

I’m broken inside
Broken inside
Broken inside
Broken all the time

I’ve got no place to go
No place to hide
Nothing to wipe these tears
Away from my eyes
They burn with my hate
For myself I despise

I’m broken inside
Broken inside
Broken inside
Broken all the time

There’s no point left
I was put on this earth to die
I have nothing left
To hide these scars
They’re in plain sight
Ripped to shreds like my heart

I’m broken inside
Broken inside
Broken inside
Broken all the time

The pain is constant
There’s no where to hide from it
It knows me awake
It haunts me in my dreams
Its with me while I’m alive
The only way out
Might be to just die

I’m broken inside
Broken inside
Broken inside
Broken all the time

Jackie
02-27-2009, 01:12 PM
Dead At The Door

Ding-Dong
Deaths at the door

Ding-Dong
He’s here to collect your soul

Ding-Dong
You cant ignore it for long

Ding-Dong
His impatience is strong

Ding-Dong
He’s coming for you

Ding-Dong
If you though you could escape it your wrong

Ding-Dong
You’ll answer it soon

Ding-Dong
If not he’ll just come in after you

Ding-Dong
You can not escape this darkness

Ding-Dong
He’s right behind you

Ding-Dong
He’s breath down your neck

Ding-Dong
Your on the floor

Ding-Dong
You are dead at the door

Jackie
03-02-2009, 06:13 PM
I’m not worth anyone’s time, so I might as well leave this place behind

I really don’t matter
No one honestly cares
So why should I even bother to stay here

I’ve fucked up so much
If I could I would take it all back
But goodbye is the best I have

This town and everyone in it
Is just a reminder of everything ive ever messed up
I just need to escape the bitter reality of it all

This decision may be the hardest thing to do
But it would probably be best for me
Along with everyone I knew

There is no reason for me to stay
I’m useless here and unwanted
I sense it every day

I’m not worth anyone’s time
Why even bother with me?
I’d just fuck it up, you’d see

I’ve already wasted so much time
Mine and everyone else’s
So its just time for me to leave this town behind

Goodbyes may be hard
If anyone still wants to pretend to care
But that’s all it is, pretend, it doesn’t matter if I’m here

I’m just not happy here
I never have been
And I know I never will be

I can’t even fake it anymore
I can’t pretend to be happy when I’m not
This town is filled with too many painful memories

Every where I look
Every where I go here
Is just a memory of something I fucked up

Its time for me to just move on
I just need to leave New Jersey all together
Maybe then things will finally get better

Jackie
03-07-2009, 11:12 PM
Forever Gone

Look in my eyes
Just once
Maybe the you’ll realize
All the pain I have been through
All because I care so much about you

I would say I wish
I had a second chance
But maybe I never had
Even one to begin with
Some how I just wish I had a chance right now

I care about you so much
I worry all the time
When I don’t see you for days
All I can think is
Damn I hope he’s fine

When I see you
Its such a huge relief
Just to know you’re there
Still alive
And still okay

I know you probably
Could not care less about me
It kills me inside
That you probably feel that way
It kills me a little more each day

At least I still see you though
Usually five days out of seven
I don’t know what I’m going to do
When it’s the end
I am already dreading that day

That day when everyone else will be happy
They might ask me what’s wrong
And of course I’ll lie
And tell them it’s nothing

When it’s actually the biggest something in the world
Fates biggest wrong
Because after that day you’re leaving
And you will be forever gone
Life is so wrong

I know that I will probably never see you again
This kills me the most
Not because I still like you
Which I do
But because now I won’t see you usually five out of seven



Now there will be no way
To be sure that you are okay
To be sure you’re not hurt
Or in a hospital some where out there
There will be no way for me to know

Cause I know you won’t talk to me
You barely do now
I wish so much
That you didn’t have to go
I wish there was more time

If we had more time
Maybe then I would have a chance
Maybe it would work out
And we could be perfect together
Perfect for each other

Just like everyone had always said
We looked so good together
I’m not even sure what happened
I wish so much that you cared
As much as I care about you

It’s killing me inside
That the end is drawing near and nearer
You probably won’t even say goodbye
And that might be best because I don’t want to cry
Because you’re leaving my life forever
For me you are going to be
Forever gone......

Jackie
03-11-2009, 09:07 PM
Never Regret You, Definitely Never Forget You

What we had was amazing
At least I thought so
You really did seem to care
If it’s true I’ll probably never know

The way we would hold hands
The way we would kiss
Every moment in your arms
Was complete and total bliss

Everyone said we were perfect
Made for each other
Never would break up
But never came sooner then anyone had imagined

I remember everyone moment with you
As if it were just yesterday
I wish it had been
Then and today

If I close my eyes
And try real hard
I can still almost imagine
Your heart close to mine

I haven’t much to remember you by
A picture of us holding hands
And I must admit every time I look at it I cry
Because I just want those days back so bad

I miss the feeling
Of your arms around me
Your heart close to mine
The feeling of your embrace is no longer mine

I miss the sweet taste of your lips
So soft
So divine
Those lips are no longer mine to kiss

I miss my hand in yours
The way you would go to grab mine
And then pull me closer
Your hands are no longer mine to hold

The day you broke my heart
All I wanted to do was run away
Just fade into the background
Of that grey and dreary day

I couldn’t feel for days
I was just completely numb
My heart fell out of my ass
And there is no way to pick it up

I am not going to lie
I still like you
I still care
I still wish you would let me be there

I really do miss you
Looking into your eyes
Just being close to you
Just sitting around and talking to you

You truly are perfect
In every single way
From your voice, to your oh so sweet smile, even the way you dress
You are walking perfection, no less

You are so cute
And so sweet
I don’t care what anyone else says
I could never regret you, and I will definitely never forget you

Jackie
04-24-2009, 08:21 PM
Numb

At a point past apathy
Just completely numb
Almost better then feeling emotion
No more fear
No more tears
No more self loathing
No more despair
Now its just quite
Now ts just dark
Like someone has stuck a needle
Filled with Novocain in my heart
Emptiness fills my eyes
No longer do I have to disguise depression
No longer do I have to pretend not to be sad
I donít have to fake another smile
Or another laugh
I donít have to pretend to be
Someone I am clearly not
Now I can just sit alone
In the dark pouring rain
And enjoy this numbness
My only substitute for pain

Jackie
04-24-2009, 08:28 PM
Time is Dwindling

Dwindling, dwindling, dwindling down
Time is dwindling, dwindling down
Silently, softly
With out a sound
Losing all sense of thought
Losing all sense of feel
Your mind slowly unraveling
This is real

Falling apart
Falling down
Falling into nothing
Black space where you will never hit the ground
Just falling, falling
While time is dwindling down
Dwindling, dwindling, dwindling down

Nothing you can feel
Nothing you can touch
Total darkness
A blinding rush
Falling, falling
While time slowly dwindles down
Falling, falling
Yet you will never hit the ground

Jackie
04-24-2009, 09:01 PM
Wishing

I know that wishing
Never gets you anywhere
Yet I cant help myself
By still wishing you were here

Wishing that you were still with me
Wishing that you still cared
Wishing that when I needed to talk you were still there

I really think we could have been good
If only you would have given me the chance
To show that I really do care

I don’t care what they say about you
Everything they hate I love
You are perfect in every way

From the sound of your voice
To the sound of your laugh
And your oh so sweet smile

I wish I could kiss you again
I wish I could hug you and be in your embrace
I wish I could at least be your friend

I would always have been there for you
No matter what the case
If you ever had needed a shoulder to cry on
You would have had my embrace

I would still be here for you
If you ever really needed it
Or someone to talk to
Id be by your side in a heart beat
Because I care so much about you

I would go to the end of the world and back
I would walk millions of miles
Just to see your smiling face
And to once again feel your warm embrace

I wish I had another chance
Maybe it would work out this time
I wish you could see how much I truly care
I wish you cared about me again

Even though I know wishing doesn’t get you anywhere
I wish this everyday
Secretly in the shadows of my heart

You probably don’t know
And you probably don’t care
But I wish I could have the courage to let you know
That if you ever needed someone
I’ll always be there

Jackie
04-24-2009, 09:07 PM
Apparently Not

I thought I was over you
Thought I lost the ability to care
But apparently I’m not
Apparently I haven’t
There’s a whole list of songs
A million and beyond quotes
That make me think of you
And the memories of us together
When you were just that sweet kid I knew
I wish that all of this hadn’t happened
I wish we could have just remained friends
At least then you talked to me
Walked with me
And hugged me
And I will regret it until the end
That some how I screwed it all up with you
And that the happiness I found in you
All had to end

Jackie
06-18-2009, 05:48 PM
The perfection Of The Bliss That I Don't Want To Miss

My heart slows down
Its so hard to breath
Your face
Your laugh
Your smile
The sound of your voice
Is all I can hear
All I can see
When I close my eyes

I just want you close to me
I want your arms around me
Your hand in mine
I wanna feel your heart beating
And your soft steady breathing
I just want you next to me

I dont want it to end
Especially not like this
I don't want to lose you again
Especailly when you say you care
And that you never want me to leave
Because I never want you to leave
But I'm so afraid
That, that is what your doing to me

I've never cared about anyone
The way I care about you
I never wanted anything
Or anyone more
I've never been so comfortable around anyone
Or with anyone but you
I've never trust someone so much
Or believed every word they said

I would do anything to be with you
Anything to stay with you
Anything you wanted
Anthing you needed at all
I just want to see you happy
I want to make you happy
Anyway I can

Every moment with you is amazing
Magical
And I never want it to end
Time goes so fast when I'm with you
But I still cheris
And remember every moment with you
AI'm always so afraid that the next moment might be our last

I can never stop thinking of you
I even dream of you
Even thought no dream is better then actually being with you
I love everything about you
Your hair, your smile, the sound of your voice
Your laugh, your crazy personality
The way I can never have a dull moment with you
I love the way you hand feels in mine
And when you wrap your arms around my waist and pull me close
I love looking in your eyes
And when you kiss my hand

I can't get enough of you
I want you to be there
I want you to be with me
I want everything to keep going
As good as it was
Everything was going so great
Insanely perfect
I want it to be like that again
And I want it to stay like that
Please, please don;t let this, us, end

flaggwalkstheline
06-24-2009, 04:55 AM
that's beautiful