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Adumbros
09-11-2008, 07:27 AM
After having just re-read Misery, and remembering the profound impact it had not only on King's professional life but on his readers as well, and being surprised that this does not already exist somewhere, I felt that, for those of us so inclined, we should have a forum to bear our wordslinging souls in a unique manner. Ergo, I now introduce the game of Can You? to the site.

For those not in the know, here's how it'll go:

You are presented with a scenario that is probably (but not necessarily; this is at the writer's discretion) "impossible". Your job is to provide a scenario in which you, who will assume the role of the character, could escape the scenario in question. As Annie Wilkes puts it, "it doesn't have to be realistic, just fair." I.e., if you were looking down the barrel of a gun, how would you survive? A fair answer might be that the magazine was exhausted, or the firing mechanism jammed, or a cop shot the would-be murderer, or even that the weapon's wielder was not aiming at you but at a would-be assailant behind you. An unfair answer would be a cheap copout, something that absolutely could not happen in real life, such as you ducked the bullet in midflight, or that it bounced off you because your clothes were so tight. Those of you who have heard tales of the latter have been lied to. I was a Marine and, briefly, a forensic student, and have seen people shot, and let me tell you, the effect tight clothes has is like shooting a snare drum: it only causes more damage to the hollow space between entry and exit, because there is no breath of air in which the velocity of the slug can be retarded, actually increasing its potency.

We understand then, right? Great. In lieu of the ten seconds Paul Sheldon's summer camp instructor allowed in campfire sessions, we shall instead offer you two chances to purvey a logical, or "fair", solution. If you fail both, you must drop out, and the scenario stands and is passed to the next person. (You only drop out for that scenario you have failed; you may take a pass at the next one posed.)

Ready? Here goes.



You have been in an auto wreck. The vehicle lies in an embankment off the side of the road. You, however, lie in the middle of a two-lane highway, numb and immobile. It is dark, after midnight, with no trace of cloud nor star in the sky, and an eighteen-wheeler with a pair of busted headlights bears down upon you ominously. It is the only vehicle (indeed, the only other sign of life) on the road, there are no residences within sight, your cell phone shattered in the collision with the large tree, and your voice, strain though you might, is ragged and hoarse.

Can You?

jayson
09-11-2008, 09:57 AM
Good game idea Adumbros!

As for this scenario, yes, yes I can. Prior to reaching me, the driver of the 18-wheeler is felled by a congenital heart defect which causes him to lose control of the truck and crash into the steaming wreckage of my vehicle and not into me personally.

And yes, I most certainly borrowed the "felled by a congenital heart defect" scenario from The Simpson's episode "The Homer They Fall" in which Homer has to fight heavyweight champion Drederick Tatum and Moe tells him he can beat Tatum if he just visualizes how it could happen.

Adumbros
09-11-2008, 10:59 AM
Nice repsonse, mate.

you get next. :D

jayson
09-11-2008, 11:01 AM
It may take me awhile to come up with something. Feel free to post another if you wish. I'm better at answering in these games/riddles than I am at coming up with my own.

Adumbros
09-11-2008, 11:04 AM
oh hell this one's easy. all you have to do is create an impossibleness and/or escape another one.

jayson
09-11-2008, 11:17 AM
Ok, I will give it a shot...

You are being held as an "enemy combatant" at Guantanamo Bay. You have been given no lawyer, have had no trial, and are told you are to be executed under orders from President Bush. You are being led to the firing squad by heavily armed soldiers. Your hands are shackled behind your back. Your legs are also shackled together. There is a hood over your head and all you can see is blackness. Can you get out of this one?

Is that impossible enough for you Adumbros? :P

Adumbros
09-11-2008, 11:28 AM
nope.

You bet I can. :D

A plane descends at an alarming pace as news arrives that the Space Needle, Golden Gate Bridge, and Minneapolis Federal Reserve have disappeared, and that further targets include Rikers Island, The Pentagon, and the Statue of Liberty.
Amidst the mass of confusion, I manage to slip away from my would-be executors, killing one behind a shed and using his key to unlock the shackles, albeit fumbling for blindness. I then steal his uniform, use his Zippo to burn off my facial hair, and blithely follow other troops until I am near enough to the gate to make my grand exit.

did i miss anything?

jayson
09-11-2008, 11:33 AM
Killing your guard with your hands shackled behind you must have been quite a feat, but I suppose it's possible. :thumbsup:

alinda
09-11-2008, 11:33 AM
Dayum!! That is amazing bro! Nice job. Altho' your face must be killing you!:P

Adumbros
09-11-2008, 11:35 AM
:passes the flame, as it were, to the newcomer:

I wanna see what ya got.

Adumbros
09-11-2008, 11:36 AM
Killing your guard with your hands shackled behind you must have been quite a feat, but I suppose it's possible. :thumbsup:

if i must specify, which i suppose is within the boundaries of the aforementioned rules, i slammed my head into his nose, impaling him on his own nasal cavity.

alinda
09-11-2008, 11:38 AM
:wtf:Was that feather passed to me then? :sweats:

jayson
09-11-2008, 11:39 AM
Killing your guard with your hands shackled behind you must have been quite a feat, but I suppose it's possible. :thumbsup:

if i must specify, which i suppose is within the boundaries of the aforementioned rules, i slammed my head into his nose, impaling him on his own nasal cavity.

not necessary, but i'm glad you did specify as your answer is clever and amusing

Adumbros
09-11-2008, 11:43 AM
thank you, R_of_G. and yes, alinda.

jayson
09-11-2008, 11:46 AM
You can call me Jayson if you don't feel like typing in underscores.

Adumbros
09-11-2008, 11:53 AM
ugh. sorry...hate the sound of my own name. :nope:

jayson
09-11-2008, 11:54 AM
Well at least it should be easy for us to remember each other's names :)

Adumbros
09-11-2008, 12:00 PM
true nuff.

alinda
09-11-2008, 12:11 PM
Ok, Your out for nice stroll on fine autumn day, the walk takes thru a shaded part of the forestry divisions animal control center. Even tho' hunting is forbidden here many sly poachers still manage to lay traps in the area. The leaves have recently turned a golden array of color, and as your going down a small hill near the lake you step right on a bear trap! Its metal claws dig into your ankle, and your bleeding and afraid you'll soon die of expose if not found soon. You lay as still as you can trying to think of a way out of this,
when suddenly the great beast shows itself...can you?

Adumbros
09-11-2008, 12:15 PM
easily.

i simply lie motionless, w/o exertion, until the best convinces itself i am dead, and therefore, no fun. :D

Adumbros
09-11-2008, 12:18 PM
as for the trap...conveniently, i happen to carry a well-stocked wilderness supply kit, and altho i must crawl weakly to it, there is a spade in the trunk of my car which will pry the jaws off my foot. I tourniquet it to staunch the profusely bleeding wound, then frantically grope around the front seat for my cell phone and call 911.

alinda
09-11-2008, 12:24 PM
Dude that was to easy! Your a madman!:panic:

Adumbros
09-11-2008, 12:28 PM
sorry. :D

alinda
09-11-2008, 12:31 PM
:fairy: Don't be I'm rather fond of madmen! ;)

Adumbros
09-11-2008, 12:36 PM
eh i probably live too far away for your my madness to matter to your fondness in any significant way :)

ne ways...i gotta go now, huh?

Brice
09-11-2008, 12:40 PM
I believe so.

Adumbros
09-11-2008, 12:46 PM
ooh, shit! the master's in the house!
better make it a good 'un, then.

Everything you touch falls apart. You are always naked, because clothes fall right off your back. The earth melts beneath your feet. You are truly the anti-Midas. Yet you cannot live much longer, for lack of communication. As you begin to wither and decay, a cry escapes your lips for all that you have missed. Your heart stammers, your vision blurs, your blood congeals. Yet your will to live, to experience all that you have been denied, renews with each slackening pulse of vigor that runs through you.

Can you?

Richie
09-11-2008, 01:24 PM
yes, I look up and see Letti. suddenly my life takes on new meaning and I am alive with pleasure unknown before!:evil: Hahahaha!

alinda
09-11-2008, 01:26 PM
:rofl: OMG! Son, they're gonna kill you before your 19th post!

Adumbros
09-11-2008, 01:29 PM
Charming, romantic, but highly unrealistic. This ain't Hollywood, Joe. :D

Brice
09-11-2008, 01:32 PM
yes, I look up and see Letti. suddenly my life takes on new meaning and I am alive with pleasure unknown before!:evil: Hahahaha!

OFF TOPIC: Don't make me put you on Letti restriction. :nope:

alinda
09-11-2008, 01:34 PM
:panic:Oh noooooo! Think up another one Rick!:wtf:

Adumbros
09-11-2008, 01:36 PM
uh-oh. do i sense Brice's rare but intimidating wrath?

Richie
09-11-2008, 01:36 PM
ok can I pass the feather? thats all I could think of.:beat:

Adumbros
09-11-2008, 01:39 PM
sure can. s'ok; i'm a humble youngest-of-four; whenever Brice is around, it's kinda a friendly rival to see who can fuck the other's head up the most. he was why i posted something that damn difficult. hell, i can think of an easy answer right off the top of my head, but A)i posted it, B)Brice has probably covered the exact same thought and dismissed it as mundane(or is saving it to attempt to irritate me); and C)i have a RIDICULOUS scope of imagination.

so yes, you may be excused from the dinner table. get your ass back here in time for cake and ice cream though!

alinda
09-11-2008, 01:42 PM
Bra, go for it then, your ideas are wonderfully twisted...:)

Brice
09-11-2008, 01:45 PM
I'm not sure I'm capable of this right now. My mind isn't fully functional. I'll let someone else go.

Adumbros
09-11-2008, 01:49 PM
Bra, go for it then, your ideas are wonderfully twisted...:)

i'm not gonna answer my own!!!

Adumbros
05-19-2011, 10:58 AM
oh holy motherFUCK i completely forgot about this thread! interesting little sucker it were too :orely: perhaps we can somehow get it posted on the main page and kickstarted? :excited:

The Road Virus
05-19-2011, 11:13 AM
This would probably only prolong/temporarily diffuse the problem but what about the castaway approach. Befriend an inanimate object that you are not able to (or won't) touch. Grant it, this might mean you are a little bit insane but who isn't (Psycho reference)? I think that would be my best whack at it off the top of my head

Adumbros
05-19-2011, 12:38 PM
Not familiar with cast away but i suppose it's viable.

The Road Virus
05-19-2011, 12:43 PM
I think that was the name of it. Popular Tom Hanks movie, I wanna say a few years before the new millenium. In it he's on stuck on a deserted island and during that time he paints (grant it you could not give your object a face like this but same premise) a face on a volleyball

The Road Virus
05-19-2011, 12:45 PM
Well to further the viablitiy (hopefully) a bit: You could just bring to life the Roman gods of planets and just talk to them. Like I said you wouldn't be sane but perception is reality and I feel you'd be satisfied (nice word choice I know :) ) socially under this condition

Adumbros
05-19-2011, 01:05 PM
indeed. far more elaborate than the answer i would have given had i not posed the scenario myself. the feather is yours. :clap:

The Road Virus
05-19-2011, 01:20 PM
I still would like to hear yours (if you remember it). Thank you, I was not expecting that but another scenario to try to deal with. I'll post one tomorrow morn when thoughts are fresh or if I think of something while reading The Stand/ tonight I will post it. In the meantime, if you have more still in the chamber, please :shoot:

Adumbros
05-19-2011, 01:50 PM
:lol: more in the chamber hell i forgot this thread existed. I've been somewhat sporadic with my appearances; at times i'll postwhore for weeks on end then disappear due to, well, life. as for my answer, the answer i had in mind was simple enough: wake up.

The Road Virus
05-19-2011, 02:41 PM
Ahhh, that is a good one too. Icic, I was the same way on .net (as I'm sure I will be on here as well), right now I just joined and am in postwhoring mode as you can see (esp today, I believe it is a personal record, at least on .org) cuz these fourms (and trying to get your rank up while enjoying friendly banter) are addicting.

I am glad you dug this out of the 7-th circle of hell (just a random choice I know Dante says there are a couple more), it def has some potential

Adumbros
05-19-2011, 02:46 PM
ty :D i am to depart now the not-wifey wifey is home i will probably see you tomorrow

The Road Virus
05-19-2011, 02:51 PM
Np, enjoy the company (like I have to tell you that ha) and I look forward to playing some post games in the near future, peace.

The Road Virus
05-19-2011, 06:51 PM
You are on a train ride to the city.Suddenly, you have the urge to urinate. You exit your seat and make your way down to the one-person unisex stall, feeling a bit closterphobic once the door is closed (esp that split second before the door is locked and the lights flicker on). As you start to relieve yourself, you feel something like turbulance, only you are not on a plane (plane crappers are at least a grade up from this shit box flashes briefly in your mind) and this is much worse than even your scariest of sky-riding.

As the train bucks off the tracks, you bang your head on the wall you are facing (no matter which way you are facing) briefly before doing a face plant onto the steel (very sturdy!) sink in your little capsule.

Can you? (hope that lives up to what you want this thread to be adum)

Adumbros
05-21-2011, 07:48 AM
yes. i can. (get knocked the FUGG out, that is :lol) indeed, savvy addition an am quite pleased with it. i shall return to attempt an honest reply after i have quelled my morning hunger pangs :D

The Road Virus
05-21-2011, 08:21 AM
Haha sounds like a plan to me man, thank you for the props. I need to get some breakfast as well (one of the biproducts of sleeping till 11 :doh:)

Adumbros
05-21-2011, 08:25 AM
indeed!